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Chapter 16



What was Edward going to say about my idea? Should I even tell him or should I keep it to myself? This solution came to me so suddenly that I didn’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner. I didn’t think that he would like it though. And what about the rest of the family? I mean I was part of their family now right? I had to do this for me and for them. They were putting themselves at risk for me and if I could help, I had to do it. So here goes nothing.

I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and said, “I want to be changed.”

“What? Are you kidding me? Are you thinking straight? Don’t you know what that means?” Edward was clearly upset, in fact, this is the most I’ve seen him react to anything.

“Calm down Edward. I just think that is the best way for me to help out with this situation and then Holly won’t have to be upset that you are with a human.” That worked for a reason right?

“Bella, you have no idea what you are asking for.” He shook his head at the idea of what I was asking for. “I can’t do that to you. I can’t condemn you to this life. I will not take your life.”

“Edward, you wouldn’t be condemning me to anything that I don’t know about. I want this. I want to stay with you and your family forever.”

“Out of the question Bella. I will not be doing that to you.” He stood up and walked from the room. He was done talking about it, but I wasn’t. I got up to follow him. Then I stopped. If he wouldn’t do it, there were plenty of others here that could do the same thing. I turned and walked to Alice’s room. I knocked on her door, but there was no answer. I looked down towards the living room and didn’t see anyone there either. Where did everyone go? I went down the stairs and walked to the garage door. I opened it and was thankful to find someone finally. Rosalie. She was tinkering around with a car.

“Rosalie? Are you busy?” Right, Bella. Good question. She was bent over the engine of a car, wasn’t she?

“Nothing that I can’t take a break from. What’s up?” she asked grabbing a towel and wiped the grease off her hands.

“Um… I was talking to Edward upstairs and I uh… came up with a way to help out with Holly. But Edward didn’t seem to like the idea very much. I wanted to ask you.”

She tilted her head a little bit and furrowed her brows. “What did you come up with?”

“Uh… I asked him to turn me,” I said looking down at the ground instead of at her. I didn’t want to see her reaction.

“Oh Bella! You can’t possibly want that. Do you know what that would mean?” She put the towel down and made me look at her. I didn’t like that look of pain on her face and I knew that I had put it there.

“I know what I am asking for. I think it would be best. I could help all of you with her.” I didn’t need to say who ‘her’ was. Everyone knew who I would be talking about. I sounded like I was pleading with her. Did she see that I wanted to be like them? I needed to be less frail, I wanted to belong.

“Bella, I can’t do that. I am sorry, but I just can’t do that. I don’t think that I would be able to stop even if I wanted to. Human blood is not like animal blood. It is a lot more potent. Animals keep us alive and strong but we are nowhere near what we could be if we had human blood. I don’t know how Carlisle did it.” Her face showed the regret of saying no to me.

My hopes once again fell. My chances of this happening weren’t looking so good. Was this going to be the answer from everyone? She saw by my face and the slump of my shoulders that I was let down. She came over to me and gave me a hug.

“Talk to Carlisle. That is what I can recommend to you. I don’t want to see you become like us. Life is too precious and I don’t think that you know that.”

“I will talk to Carlisle. Thank you for letting me talk to you Rosalie. I’ll let you get back to work.”

She let me go and said, “Carlisle had to go to the hospital but should be back soon. Think this through Bella.”

I just nodded and walked back into the house. When I went through the living room towards the kitchen, Alice was coming in the back door. She looked happy but when she saw my face her smile dropped.

“What happened Bella?”

“I just got shot down by Edward and Rosalie.”

She looked confused. “What do you mean, you got shot down?”

“I don’t even want to tell you. You are going to say the same as them.” I couldn’t help but let the sadness come through in my voice.

“Bella, please. I am your friend and I will always back you. Now tell me. Please.”

I knew defeat when it was staring me in the face. I took a deep breath and said, “I asked Edward and Rosalie to turn me so I could help out with Holly.”

Alice’s face showed little surprise. Of course she would have seen this. She would have had the insight into what I had planned to ask. So she smiled back at me. She knew that I had figured out that she already knew.

“I think it is a great idea. It is bound to happen anyway. I mean, you are going to be living with a household of vampires. It would be safer for you to be one of us anyway. However I do know that not everyone is going to agree with me on this, but you have already found that out for yourself.”

“Bound to happen?” That was the only thing that stuck out in my mind with what she just said. “Alice, did you see me turning into a vampire?”

“I did, but Bella remember what I said before. My visions change based on a person’s actions. Things change and I think that Edward will fight for you to remain human. Immortality is a touchy subject with him.”

“Why?

“He thinks that since we are killers that we no longer have a soul. I don’t believe that. Not when I have Jasper, he has a beautiful soul.” She smiled. Just thinking about him makes her smile. I was jealous of that. I wanted that.

“That is crazy. Of course you have a soul. If you didn’t, you would go and feed on humans, right?”

All she did was shrug at that. “I guess we would just have to bring this to Carlisle. He is the head of this family and he will give you a good answer. And then if you don’t like his answer, he will always hear you out. Maybe it will give you a chance to change his mind.”

“Okay. I heard that he went to the hospital but would be back soon. Any idea how long?” I was hoping not long. I wanted to talk to him about this and hopefully get an answer and even better I was hoping that he would agree with me.

“It shouldn’t be all that long. He only had to run for a short errand. Maybe a half an hour.” She started walking to the kitchen and I followed her.

“Uh, Alice? Where did Edward go?” I looked around but I didn’t see him at all.

“I think he went out for a run. You know how he gets.”

I nodded. I did know, or at least I was beginning to know a lot more than I used to know. When we got in the kitchen Alice grabbed an apple from the fridge and tossed it at me. I fumbled it but I didn’t drop it, which surprised me and made Alice smile.

“Uh, thanks,” I said. I rubbed it to make it shine and then took a bite out of it. Red Delicious, my favorite. We went back out to the living room and just sat and talked while we waited for Carlisle to get back home. Alice was pretty dead on with the timing. He walked in and we stopped talking and looked at Carlisle.

“What? Did I walk in on some secret girl talk between the two of you?” He set his bag on the floor by the door and took off his jacket hanging that over the back of a chair.

“No, you didn’t. But we have been waiting for you, well, Bella has actually,” she said looking at me. She nodded trying to give me a subtle nudge of confidence. I didn’t feel like it worked though. All of a sudden my mouth went dry and I didn’t feel like I could manage a word. What if he said the same thing as Edward and Rosalie?

I fumbled with my hands in my lap and couldn’t look him in the eye. So instead of looking at him I stared at my hands while I asked him. “Uh… I was hoping… that uh… that I could be turned. Um… turned into a vampire.” He didn’t say anything and he didn’t move so I continued, “I want to help you guys with Holly. I think I could help out.”

“I see. And I am guessing you talked to Edward and Alice about this, correct?” He asked softly, just like the doctor that he was. He used the same voice he would use on a patient.

“I did. Edward was not happy with the idea and he sort of took off… and Alice thought it was a good idea,” I said glancing up at her. She gave me a small smile, which revealed nothing. “I even asked Rosalie but she didn’t want to either and suggested that I talk to you. As did Alice.”

He nodded but he seemed to be considering it. My hopes rose a little at this. After a few more seconds he said, “I know that you think this is a good idea Bella and I can agree that the advantage it would bring would be great. However, I don’t know if that is something that you can truly understand and I don’t know if that is what you want.”

“Oh but I do Carlisle,” I pleaded with him. It felt so close, that he was close to my side on this. I just needed to let him know that I knew what I wanted.

“Bella. I don’t know. I think we all need to talk about this. How would you feel bringing this before the whole family?” He bent towards me and leveled his eyes on mine and didn’t look away. It was hard to look at him and even harder to try and look away.

I swallowed and looked between Alice and Carlisle and then said, “I will tell everyone. This is what I want.”

He stood back up straight and said, “Okay. We can get everyone together now and you can tell them about your idea. I think that we should vote on it. Since this all involves us and the family as a whole, okay?”

I simply nodded. A vote on my mortality. What was the outcome going to bring? Edward was going to be furious but I knew that I wanted this. And then I could have forever to have him forgive me. I looked back to Carlisle and he said everyone’s name in a normal voice and soon everyone, including Edward appeared in the living room.

“I think we need to go to the dining room and have a family meeting. We need to discuss a new situation that has come up.” He ushered everyone to the dining room table. Funny that there was a table since the vampires never ate, so the table was only used for meetings in the family. There were glances thrown around the family and no one really said anything, but Edward did not look happy at all.

“Have a seat everyone. Bella actually wanted to bring an option to everyone’s attention. Bella?” He said to me, gesturing with his hand for me to proceed.

I was once again really nervous and cleared my throat to prepare for speech. “Um… I talked to Edward and Rosalie about this already-“

“Bella, no, please don’t ask this,” Edward pleaded.

I closed my eyes but continued, “But I wanted to be turned. I want to help you with Holly and I think that as a vampire I can help you out a lot more.”

There was a collective gasp from those that didn’t know. Only Emmett smiled at that. I looked around the table and took in everyone’s face. Esme was shocked so she just stared at me. Jasper looked to be in pain since he could feel everyone’s feelings at that moment and I am sure that it was strong. Like I saw before, Emmett was smiling, almost laughing. Rosalie and Edward were upset but Rosalie looked almost sad too. I tried not to look at Edward since I knew he was glaring at me. Alice just gave me a smile and winked at me.

“So that is what Bella had to suggest. I told her that she could bring it to all of your attentions so that we could decide as a family on this and see what you think. Anyone want to say anything to this?” He looked around, his eyes landing on Edward.

“No! Absolutely not! That is not a good decision. I don’t know how you could let her even think about this Carlisle.” He looked at Carlisle with his eyes burning. I was scared of him for the first time ever.

“It is her choice and she has the right to ask. It is her life, Edward,” Carlisle said trying to calm him down a bit. It didn’t work. Edward got up and stalked away to his room, slamming the door as he went. My heart broke.

“I think it would be great!” Emmett said. “I would be happy to have another little sister.” I smiled at that. It didn’t help mend my broken heart of hurting Edward but it made me feel a little better.

“I of course say yes to it,” Alice simply said.

Esme was next to put in her vote, “I couldn’t be happier with another daughter to love, so yes. I say yes to the change.” I couldn’t believe it. That was three votes yes to one vote of no.

I looked to Rosalie next. “She doesn’t know what she is asking for. I don’t think it is a good idea. I am sorry Bella. I really am. I still love you, you know that, right?” I just nodded at her, but a few silent tears fell from my eyes.

Last to cast his vote was Jasper. I was scared to look at him, so I looked down at the table, wringing my hands. “Bella?” I looked up as he said my name. “I want you to know that I am saying this because I do think you know what you are asking for, but I don’t know if you are going to be prepared for the aftermath of it. I will be there for you though. I vote yes. I think you should change and become a true member of this family.”

My whole body went numb. That was four to two, even if Carlisle said no I had still won! “Thank you so much! I don’t have enough words to show how much this means to me.” From upstairs we heard a loud crash. Oh no. Edward must have been listening to all of this.

”I will go talk to him,” Rosalie said getting up.

“Don’t bother Rose. He is gone,” Alice said. “He went out running again. He won’t be back for awhile.” I felt horrible again. Was he going to forgive me after this? Did I break our bond that we just formed? Was he going to want to be around me now? What about after I was changed?

Esme came over to me and hugged me to her. “If I could cry right now I would Bella. You don’t know how happy I am that you will finally be in our family for good.”

“Thank you Esme. But what about Edward, is he going to be okay?”

“You will have to get used to that. He will be okay after awhile. You’ll see. He just needs to blow off some steam and he will be back. It will just take some time,” Esme replied. She was holding my hand and she didn’t seem to want to let it go. I didn’t mind at all, it felt good.

Slowly everyone got up to leave. Alice and Jasper were holding hands and kissed each other softly. Alice had her head on his shoulder as they walked away, Jasper has his arm around her slim waist. Emmett came over to me and lightly punched me in the shoulder and had his same dopey smile on his face. Rosalie went to him, grabbed his arm and pulled him away. They went on their way and I was left with Esme and Carlisle. My new parents or should I say, my soon to be new parents.

“Okay, Bella. I guess you will be joining us but we still have the problem of time. It takes three days for you to fully turn. Holly is coming for you before your transformation is complete. Maybe she will back off but I don’t think so,” Carlisle said.

“We could move her away from here. What if we bring her to my island, Carlisle?” Esme said.

“We could do that. But who would we send with her?” I looked between the two of them. Esme has an island?

“I am not sure. Alice maybe?” Esme suggested.

Then I heard from behind me, “If anyone is going to be bringing her anywhere, I will be doing it. Bella and I need to talk anyway.” It was Edward. He locked his eyes on me and I shrank away from him. “Bella, I am sorry for the way I reacted. I won’t hurt you.”

I didn’t know what to say to him. I was scared of him at the moment but I was also still very much in love with him. I didn’t know that it was possible to feel that way.

“Okay. Are you sure you are going to be okay with her?” Carlisle asked.

“I will be fine,” he stated.

I had a question now. “Who is going to change me?” I hadn’t thought to ask when everyone was in here, but now it is silly that I didn’t know. The three of them looked at one another. “And when is it going to happen? It has to be soon, right?”

“I will do it Bella,” Carlisle said.

“Is there anyway that you could do it Edward?” I can’t believe that I just asked that. He didn’t want me to become like him and I asked him to do it. How stupid! He just stared at me and I regretted asking him right away. It felt like forever, him looking at me like that. I wish I knew what was going on in his head. His power would be helpful right now. Judging his face he looked a cross between shocked that I asked and horrified at the idea of actually doing that.

“I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry. It’s okay for Carlisle to do it.” I said quickly but not fast enough. I should never have said it. But Edward just raised his hand. He looked down and sighed. Then he looked back up and into my face. What he said next shocked me more than anything.