My chest felt as if it was going to explode, although I had not heartbeat to speak of, it was racing ten to the dozen in my mind. I tried to stand up, to get away from the scene I had found, but my legs wouldn’t hold me up long enough. I fell to the ground hitting my head hard on the foot of my grandmothers bed, my head swirling out of control, filled with scenes that could have been mistaken for a horror film. The crash, the biting, the sight of my grandmother dying silently while I was to chicken to do something about it.
I lay there for what seemed liked days but when I looked at the clock a mere few hours had passed. I pulled myself up supporting myself on the door. I stumbled around, bouncing off the walls as I went down the hallway. Trying to get as far away as I possibly could from the room where she lay dead, all because I was to afraid.
I managed to reach the front door without puking but as soon as I got outside the cold air took my breath away and I couldn’t contain it anymore.
The next door neighbour, Paul, a thirty-something art teacher, came rushing over to me with great concern in his eyes.
“Alex, Alex? What has happened? Why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt? Is your grandmother hurt?……..”
At this point I cried out loud, barely able to bring my eyes up to his.
“Alex, where is she? Is she hurt badly? Do you know what happened?…..”
His endless questions filled my head but I was unable to answer. I stood propped up against the stone wall beside the door. My head began to feel heavy as blood oozed from the back of my head. I could feel it trickle out like a serene little river from the mountain top. Inside I was screaming, crying out for help, but my voice refused to work. I tried to reach for Paul, who was stood a few centimetres from me, and collapsed into his arms.
The darkness consumed the world around me till it was no more. I heard the worry in Paul’s voice as he shouted to the other neighbours that he was gonna need some help.
I let myself fall into the void that awaited me, in hope it would mute the voices in my head and numb the severe pain coming from the back of my head. I also wished it would erase the memories of the evening and let me start again.
I woke up in a strange room, with pale yellow walls and brown borders. The brown covers on the bed were sticky with the blood from my hands and knees, the pillows felt warm, but cold under my head. I tried to move only to hear a soothing voice float across the room.
“lie still, it will only hurt worse if you are sat up”
I tried to see who had spoke but I couldn’t move my neck, I searched my memories in hope of shedding light as to the owner of the mystery voice.
“I’m Sam, you might not remember me, we last saw each other when we were five. Then I went to live at my boarding school. Do you remember me?”
I sit for a moment thinking into my past, it is clouded by the sight of fire and smoke, something I would rather forget. I try to shake my head but wince with pain.
“no, I’m sorry, I don’t remember much before six”
He nods sympathetically, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed.
“I heard about the….” he trails off “I’m sorry about your parents, I know if that had happened to mine…….” again he leaves his sentence unfinished in an attempt not to speak out of term and upset me even more than I am, if that were possible at this point.
“sorry, I’m sure this is hard enough for you at the moment with ought me twittering on like someone at a Nanna’s conven……..”
He brakes off mid sentence after realising what had just come out of his mouth.
“Alex, I am so sorry, I told them I wasn’t the best person to be left with you ‘cause I would probably say something stupid, and I have just proved myself to be right, they should have listened………”
I interrupt his psycho-babbling.
“Sam, it’s okay, I….I know you only mean well…. I mean you’re only human….it happens”
A wave of tension had crashed into the room as we both sit in silence. I reach over to the table for a tissue and somehow manage to push them off the edge.
“here let me get them for you” Sam quickly reached down and placed them on the side of the bed, next to where he was sat.
“ Look, I didn’t mean to say those silly things, just I tend to speak without thinking a lot, which makes me an undesirable companion at times like this, Lexy, please forgive me?”
As soon as he said my name like that I instantly realised who this boy really was. Samuel Mason, his parents are my parents were the best of friends. I had my first crush on him from the age of five, the day he left I decided he was gonna be my boyfriend, and in my mind he was. We used to play house in the front garden in the summer, with a baby doll stuffed up my t-shirt. All these memories I had hidden away from myself, not letting myself think of a time when I was truly happy.
“Sam, I remember you, you always had a superman cape on whenever I saw you.”
“I cried the day my mum threw it out” he giggled, going red with embarrassment.
We sat there and told one another of the ties we remembered, we hadn’t even noticed when Paul came into the room.
He made his presence known by clearing his throat.
“Alex, I’m so sorry, we have sorted it out so you can stay here with Sam and his parents. We decided it best since they were close to your parents and grandmother. I take it Sam has helped you well?”
I looked around not realising he expected an answer.
“ Oh yeah, he has been fine he was just telling me stuff he could remember from when we were little. Does anyone know what happened to my grandmother yet?
He looked blankly ahead, trying not to look me in the face.
“No, I’m sorry Alex, the police have nothing to go on, and there was nothing suspicious around the room or on Mary to give them any clues.” he looked at Sam, then left the room. I tried to roll over onto my side but the pain in my back from where I hit the floor was excruciating. I just lay on the bloody sheets hoping I would wake up and it all have been an awful nightmare. I would have no such luck.