One LONG one for today! ^_^
I stared at Bella with surprise as the dominant feature on my face. I didn't expect theory like this. When I didn't answer, Bella spoke again, she explained.
"Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion. I thought you would already know...." she trailed off when my eyes narrowed.
Is she blaming us for the existence of werewolves.
"Is that what they think?" I asked.
"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves showed up again. Do you think that's a coincidence?"
I blinked. I thought about it. So the if we are here, the werewolves are always going to be here. I suppressed a groan. I should tell this to Carlisle this might interest him.
"Carlisle will be interested in that theory." I said, reflecting my thoughts.
"Theory." Bella repeated.
We were silent for a moment, while I looked out the window. Like I thought about before, if Bella's theory is correct, then we are the cause of the werewolves around here. They may be protectors, but they aren't safe to be around. This is the exact reason why I can't let Bella be around them.
"Interesting, but not exactly relevant. The situation remains the same." I concluded.
I looked at Bella. In her deep chocolate colored eyes, I see desperation, peading, and agony. It broke my silent heart to see her this way, especially if it's about someone like Jacob Black. I couldn't take any chances. But, I have to admit, I still owe Jacob my graditude for saving the reason of my existence... when I didn't. I also owe him for helping Bella heal while I was absent. I sighed, too low for Bella to hear. I can see a little reason to why Bella have to go and see Jacob. But her safety is clearly a priority.
Bella frowned. She stood up, and she walked around the table towards me. I opened my arms, inviting her to sit. She sat on my lap, as expected.
She stared into my eyes with the same pleading expression.
"Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain. I can't not try to help him - I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time.... well, he was there for me when I was... not so human myself. You don't know what it was like..." she trailed off.
My arms were tighter now, yes, she was right, I didn't know the pain I caused her when I left her, and I already have a feeling of how it might have been for her. I can't ever find out... unless I read the minds of the witnesses of her and my torture, of loss. My eyes closed, and my hands were in fists, at how much I must I have hurted Bella like this.
I felt Bella take a deep breath, and she continued.
"If Jacob hadn't helped me... I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward."
She was right, again. If Bella didn't jump off the cliff, and if Alice didn't see her come out of the water, and if I didn't think Bella was dead... I might have problably still be suffering, looking for Victoria. Thinking about her name caused me to growl, but I suppressed it. Then I felt Bella's head turning to look at me. My eyes were still closed.
"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you. Not if I live a hundred thousand years." I whispered, though, I could still feel the agony in my voice, and in my eyes. I was glad that they were closed. Then Bella put one of her hands on my face. I sighed, and opened my eyes slowly, looking at her beautiful face. I still regretted leaving this beautiful face behind. I was cruel and caused my love's suffering for months.
"You were trying to do the right thing. And I'm sure it would have worked with someone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters."
Bella does have a very unique personallity. This is just one of the many million reasons why I love her so much. I sighed.
"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog."
She flinched, as if I insulter her. But it wasn't true. I would never bring harm to Bella, ever again, as long as I live. That's an oath I'm willing to give.... to keep her safe.
"I don't know how to praise this properly. It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've gone too close in losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous." I argued. I stared at Bella. If I could never see this image ever again, I don't know what else to do, except to kill myself and to see her again.
"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine." she pleaded.
I couldn't take any chances... from losing her.
"Please, Bella." I whispered.
"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help." I pleaded, but still whispering.
"I'll work on it." she murmured.
She didn't sound like she meant it. I took a deep breath, and tried to convince her further.
"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all how much I love you?" I asked, pulling her closer to my chest. I breathe in her human scent. I love her so much, and I can't risk anything. It's so hard... it seemed to be a mystery now how I could even stand to leave her for one day. I realized now that it won't do any good to leave her again, it would just cause us more pain to be apart. I want us to be together forever...
Bella kissed me on the throat.
"I know how much I love you." she whispered.
I had to smile.
"You compare one small tree to the entire forest."
I kissed the top of her head.
I could sense that she would argue again.
"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob."
"Then I'll have to stop you." I said confidently. Beyond doubt, I could cage her right now.
"We'll see about that. He's still my friend."
I sighed. I knew that this wasn't the end of this conversation. I might as well prepare myself.