Batman is known for being one of the greatest detectives of all time. However, Batman is very human. We all have moments where we don't word ourselves in the most eloquent of ways. He's had moments where he's said very weird things. This is a look at some of the weirdest phrases to ever come out of Batman's mouth. For this article, I'm focusing on things that Batman said in the comics.

From a scene in The Dark Knight Returns where Batman's beating up the leader of a group of mutants: "This isn't a mud hole. It's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon."

From a scene in Batman: Fortunate Son where Batman's talking to Robin about his hatred of rock and roll: "Insanity reverberates in every chord of this music you love. Punk is nothing but death and crime and the rage of a beast."

From a scene in Batman Odyssey where Bruce gets annoyed by Alfred's sassiness: "Go to Hell, you freak."

From a scene in Batman Odyssey where Batman attempts to get people to leave the dangerous train they're on by pretending like he'll kill them if they don't leave: "Go to the next car or I'll blow your brains out. Move, now!"

From a scene in the comic adaptation of the Batman and Robin film where Batman confronts Mr. Freeze: "Millions will die so you can save on air conditioning. Isn't that taking self-help a little far?"

The rest of the quotes are from All-Star Batman and Robin, because that story features a ton of the strangest things that Batman's ever said. Due to the story using some words that would be considered offensive, I have changed the wording of some of the quotes:

Batman talking to Dick Grayson: "Are you dense? Are you dumb? Don't you know who I am? I'm the damn Batman!"

Batman after taking Dick Grayson to the Batcave for the first time: "Shut up. And get to work on your costume. And get yourself a damn mask."
Dick Grayson: "Why a mask?"
Batman's response: "So you'll have a secret identity, stupid."

Batman's response to Black Canary making fun of the name of his car: "I've taken enough grief about calling my damn car the damn Batmobile. I'm the damn Batman and I'll call my damn car whatever the Hell I want."

Batman's next response to Black Canary: "You talk too damn much. Shut the Hell up."

Batman talking in his head after telling Black Canary to shut up: "Nuts to that. She's got a right to say whatever she wants. She's got the right. Thomas Jefferson and all that. And she's dead right to say I'm half-crazy. But only half. The other half of me is doing just fine."

Batman talking about Green Lantern: "I've got a dumb demigod to deal with. Demigod, my foot. He's just a clown with more power than he knows what to do with. He's worse than Clark Kent."

Batman talking about what he'd do if he had Green Lantern's power ring: "Maybe I'd spank Superman's butt back to what's left of Krypton. Just for laughs."

Batman continuing to talk about Green Lantern: "That idiot can't keep any secrets from me."

Batman's reaction to Robin beating up Green Lantern: "Shut up while I figure out a way to heal this guy. The last thing we need on our hands is a corpse, you stupid little snot."

Is there anything that can be learned from this series of weird quotes? I believe there is. If anything, these quotes serve as proof that it's very important that DC Comics gets the best writers to write Batman. Batman comics just haven't been the same since the classic days of Bill Finger. Let's hope that DC gets writers that better represent Batman as the heroic symbol of justice that Bill Finger intended him to be.