Link: Okay, so, what do we do next on Windfall
Tetra: Well, there is this teacher named Ms. Marie who is having problems with a group of kids.
Link: ...... Why do I give a fuck
Tetra: A reward involving a thousand dollars and your own tropical island
Link: Wait, are you serious.
Tetra: Yep
Link: ........... Your bullshitting me
Tetra: Why don't you find out then
Link: .....................
(Later, at Ms. Maries school)
Ms. Marie: Oh, young boy, please help me, I-
Link: Yeah, don't worry, I'll fix the problem
Ms. Marie: You will? Oh tha-
Link: Yeah, shut up (Walks out)
(Later, outside)
Link: Okay, now, where are these kids
Ivan: Hold it right there, boy
Link: Who the hell are you
Ivan: I'm Ivan. I am the leader of the dangerous gang. The Killer Bees.
Link: ..... phhhhhhhhh AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Ivan: Don't laugh at us. Were a dangerous gang.
Link: Oh, sure, what are you gonna do, crap in your training diapers and suck your thumbs
Ivan: No. We'll cut off your fucking dick and force you to eat it.
Link: ..................... Oh
Ivan: Now, if you wanna mess with us, you'll have to deal with the rest of the game. There's Jin
Jin: I'm a crazy redneck.
Ivan: Then Jan.
Jan: I am a transvestite.
Ivan: And finally, Jun-Roberto.
Jun-Roberto: I worship the devil
Link: Wow, what a great cast of characters
Ivan: So, what do you want
Link: You see, an annoying old lady told me a couple of little shits were bothering her... I'm gonna guess that those said shits are you four, so, I'll ask nicely that you stop... and if you don't accept it, I won't have no trouble in assaulting four minors.
Ivan: Oh, really, what are you gonna do
Jin: He can't do a goddamn thin'
Jan: Even my mom's make-up isn't as shady as him
Jun-Roberto: All hail Satan
Link: Okay, I tried to do it the nice way, now we'll have to do it my way... which is pretty much the hard way
(Later, in Ms. Maries Class)
Ms. Marie: You're back already
Link: Yep
Ms. Maries: Well, did you set a good example to those little kids
Link: I sure did
Ivan: I can't feel my legs.... and that's because he took my legs
Ms. Marie: Well, thank you, young lad. Here is the deed to my private island. It's yours now
Link: Are you fucking serious? I got my own island now. Fuck yeah.. But why
Ms. Marie: I'm going senile and starting to forget where I live..... Where am I?
(Later, on the ship)
Link: Fuck yeah, this is the coolest reward ever. Lets go check out the island
(Later, on the island)
Link: This place sucks
TO BE CONTINUED
Tetra: Well, there is this teacher named Ms. Marie who is having problems with a group of kids.
Link: ...... Why do I give a fuck
Tetra: A reward involving a thousand dollars and your own tropical island
Link: Wait, are you serious.
Tetra: Yep
Link: ........... Your bullshitting me
Tetra: Why don't you find out then
Link: .....................
(Later, at Ms. Maries school)
Ms. Marie: Oh, young boy, please help me, I-
Link: Yeah, don't worry, I'll fix the problem
Ms. Marie: You will? Oh tha-
Link: Yeah, shut up (Walks out)
(Later, outside)
Link: Okay, now, where are these kids
Ivan: Hold it right there, boy
Link: Who the hell are you
Ivan: I'm Ivan. I am the leader of the dangerous gang. The Killer Bees.
Link: ..... phhhhhhhhh AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Ivan: Don't laugh at us. Were a dangerous gang.
Link: Oh, sure, what are you gonna do, crap in your training diapers and suck your thumbs
Ivan: No. We'll cut off your fucking dick and force you to eat it.
Link: ..................... Oh
Ivan: Now, if you wanna mess with us, you'll have to deal with the rest of the game. There's Jin
Jin: I'm a crazy redneck.
Ivan: Then Jan.
Jan: I am a transvestite.
Ivan: And finally, Jun-Roberto.
Jun-Roberto: I worship the devil
Link: Wow, what a great cast of characters
Ivan: So, what do you want
Link: You see, an annoying old lady told me a couple of little shits were bothering her... I'm gonna guess that those said shits are you four, so, I'll ask nicely that you stop... and if you don't accept it, I won't have no trouble in assaulting four minors.
Ivan: Oh, really, what are you gonna do
Jin: He can't do a goddamn thin'
Jan: Even my mom's make-up isn't as shady as him
Jun-Roberto: All hail Satan
Link: Okay, I tried to do it the nice way, now we'll have to do it my way... which is pretty much the hard way
(Later, in Ms. Maries Class)
Ms. Marie: You're back already
Link: Yep
Ms. Maries: Well, did you set a good example to those little kids
Link: I sure did
Ivan: I can't feel my legs.... and that's because he took my legs
Ms. Marie: Well, thank you, young lad. Here is the deed to my private island. It's yours now
Link: Are you fucking serious? I got my own island now. Fuck yeah.. But why
Ms. Marie: I'm going senile and starting to forget where I live..... Where am I?
(Later, on the ship)
Link: Fuck yeah, this is the coolest reward ever. Lets go check out the island
(Later, on the island)
Link: This place sucks
TO BE CONTINUED
LATER:
In the slaughterhouse, Rick quietly cuts his handcuffs (fashioned out of rope) with a wooden stick that he hid in his sock.
Man 1: You smell the smoke? You hear the shots? He could be dead.
Man 2: The hell we doing here? The whole place could be going up.
Man 1: You went on one roundup and you blew protocol. We don't deal with security. That ain't our job. This is... Hey, look at me.
Rick: (appears out of nowhere) FOR GLORY! (stabs the knife into his knife, killing him instantly).
Man 2: Oh man.. Thank god that wasn't m- (
Rick: (stabs him in the neck, and than in the stomach, brutally killing him).
Man 2: (dying) Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
Rick: No! (keeps stabbing him).
Rick: (taking out his AK47 as he prepares to fight his way out) Stop.. Let them turn... Cross any of these people, you kill them. Don't hesitate.. They won't.
Bob: I- Is Rick being INTELLIGENT?
Glenn: Yeah... Kinda creepy, isn't it?
In the slaughterhouse, Rick quietly cuts his handcuffs (fashioned out of rope) with a wooden stick that he hid in his sock.
Man 1: You smell the smoke? You hear the shots? He could be dead.
Man 2: The hell we doing here? The whole place could be going up.
Man 1: You went on one roundup and you blew protocol. We don't deal with security. That ain't our job. This is... Hey, look at me.
Rick: (appears out of nowhere) FOR GLORY! (stabs the knife into his knife, killing him instantly).
Man 2: Oh man.. Thank god that wasn't m- (
Rick: (stabs him in the neck, and than in the stomach, brutally killing him).
Man 2: (dying) Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
Rick: No! (keeps stabbing him).
Rick: (taking out his AK47 as he prepares to fight his way out) Stop.. Let them turn... Cross any of these people, you kill them. Don't hesitate.. They won't.
Bob: I- Is Rick being INTELLIGENT?
Glenn: Yeah... Kinda creepy, isn't it?
#20: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas Gamecube Version
Wow. We’re just starting off really strong, aren’t we. The first Flintstones movie wasn’t exactly Oscar worthy, but at least it wasn’t the sequel, Viva Rock Vegas, a movie that nobody liked and was probably made because of a lack of ideas. So naturally, with a movie that bad that was a sequel to a not great movie based on a cartoon show, it only makes sense that this movie would get a game based on it. A Dreamcast version was planned, but was later cancelled and the game was then ported to the Playstation 2. It was a racing...
continue reading...
Wow. We’re just starting off really strong, aren’t we. The first Flintstones movie wasn’t exactly Oscar worthy, but at least it wasn’t the sequel, Viva Rock Vegas, a movie that nobody liked and was probably made because of a lack of ideas. So naturally, with a movie that bad that was a sequel to a not great movie based on a cartoon show, it only makes sense that this movie would get a game based on it. A Dreamcast version was planned, but was later cancelled and the game was then ported to the Playstation 2. It was a racing...
Okay, let’s talk about Fallout. I never played the first two, ut I hear they are all time classics. Fallout 3 was interesting, 4 was okay, and as much as we’d all love to forget about 76, Bethesda fucks up enough to keep it in the everyone’s crossheirs. But I didn’t mention New Vegas, so you know which ones on the list.
New Vegas follows a young man or woman known only as the Courier, who happens to get roped into some bad stuff, involving a fancy dressed man named Benny, voiced by Chandler from Friends. Boy, how will the Courier get outta this one? He won’t. He gets shot in...
Despite being a huge baby when I was a kid, there were few horror games or movies that scared me. I was mostly scared by trivial things, like the boulder in Crash Bandicoot or the PS1 startup screen. I was never really scared of anything horror related… Resident Evil Remake was that one exception.
Being worked from the ground up to reimagine the original game and make it even more stunning, the game follows the S.T.A.R.S. team as they go into the mountains to investigate mysterious murders. There, they find a mansion full of zombies and monsters and now must survive to uncover the truth...
So whenever I hear someone describe something that is weird as, “Wow, what kind of drugs were they taking when they made this”, I just groan. I always hated the whole criticism of how something weird must be related to drugs or any other illegal substance, and that there is nothing creative or thought provoking into the madness. Now, is there anything thought provoking about Katamari Damacy? …. Eeeeehhh.
So Katamari Damacy is not really a drug trip, but more of a… case of being Japanese. After the King of All Cosmos (Yes, that’s his name) destroys all the stars in the sky after...
Unpa Lunpa doom-pa-de-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do
