posted by Windwakerguy430
So, I don’t know what took me so long, but their are a LOT of Lord of the Rings fanfics. However, that means there are a lot of bad Lord of the Rings fanfics. But, how about one so bad, it got a Youtube video made for it? Well, that would be the fanfic, Legolas By Laura….. Yeah, the name is so bad, the author actually put that as a part of the title. Not even in the fanfic yet and I regret this already.
So, it starts with Legolas walking through the woods, when suddenly, he finds a baby lying on the ground. Um…. okay. So, he picks it up and decides to call it Laura… Kinda of an ordinary name for the Lord of the Rings universe, don’t you think. So, Legolas goes back to his castle? What? And, his parents live there, and they talk about the baby. This is just starting to sound stupid. I mean, REALLY stupid. So, about ten years past, and Laura wants to learn how to ride a horse…. Um… okay. Meanwhile, Gandalf and Aragorn- No, wait, the fanfic calls Aragorn Strider…. WHY!? That makes no sense. Oh fuck it, Gandalf and “Strider” go to the castle. Then, another meanwhile, Sauron- Sorry, “The Dark Lord” was planning to kidnap Laura… Uh, since when did Sauron take lessons from Bowser? And then ANOTHER meanwhile, Legolas and Laura meet Gandalf and Aragorn- STRIDER (God, not this shit again), and have a long and boring conversation. I am not kidding, nothing of interest happens. They just keep talking about Laura for god knows how long. It isn’t interesting or anything. It’s just long and repetitive. So, they allow Gandalf and Aragorn (I don’t fucking care. I’m calling him Aragorn)- To stay the night.
During the night, the guards were outside Laura’s room, making sure no one walked in… and then Orc’s climb through the window and kidnap her. Man, the royal guards kinda suck at their job, don’t they? So, they come in to help her, then see a bunch of Orcs and then just walk out. My god, since when the fuck do guards just let the Princess get kidnapped. That’s like if the President was getting shot at, and his bodyguards just pissed themselves and ran off.
Later, Laura is put into a cell… and we just cut to Legolas, who gets his army ready and… we just cut back to Laura, who is tied, and…… ugh…. rapped. Of fucking course. Seems like I see this in every fanfic I- Wait, the fanfic said that only ten years passed… and if Laura was only a baby ten years ago, doesn’t that mean she’s only ten years o- OH, GOD, WHY DID I MAKE THOSE CALCULATIONS! WHY!? WHY?! OH, GOD!? THAT’S FUCKING SICKENING!
So, for what takes hours…. Literally hours, Legolas FINALLY arrives at the place. So, Legolas sneaks in, which seems much easier than need be, while Gandalf goes to kill Sauron. And, while Gandalf is fighting Sauron, Frodo comes, literally out of fucking nowhere, and helps, but, Gandalf just uses his magic to kill Sauron. Okay, there are so much problems with this scene. One: Why did Frodo come into this scene? How would he be able to help? Two: Frodo didn’t do shit to help Gandalf. If anything, it would have ended the same if he wasn’t there at all. Three. If Gandalf could kill Sauron with that spell, why didn’t he just do that instead of having a pathetic fight scene? Four: WHAT’S WITH ALL THE SPELLING ERRORS!
So, they take Laura to a hospital…… which apparently exists in the world of Lord of the Rings, and she is already better… in less than a few minutes. And, she just decides to ignore the fact that Legolas is her brother and decide to date him anyway… Why. Why why. WHY!!!
Oh, and the story ends with one of the dumbest sentences in fanfics history (Ahem) “And then Laura”. And then Laura what? I fuck you not, that is how it ends. It ends with a poorly written sentence.
Now, some may think that due to the poor writing and awful story, I would say that this is a “So bad it’s good” fanfic, like Full Life Consequences…. No, I won’t say that. This sucks. Any humor I got from the poor writing and story was ruined due to rape and incest. Neither of which are funny, which I have already said in my Trixie’s Funhouse review, of why rape isn’t funny, and in my Friendship is Witchcraft Episode 8 review, of how incest isn’t funny. In other words, this fanfic is disgusting. Not funny. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take