Welcome, everyone, to the next Halloween oriented list. This week, we’ll be looking at the eight legged creepy crawlies you always find in the corners of a dark room. Spiders. Now, spiders are probably the least scariest things on this list… To me anyway. There are hundreds of people with a fear of spiders,known as arachnophobia. And with spiders hown growing larger and bigger and becoming the size of a house, I doubt they get any less scary. So, today, we will be looking at the ten spiders from movies, tv shows, and video games. Now, before we begin, a few rules. Only one spider per franchise, and only from what I have seen. Now, with that said, let us start the list.
#10: Robot Spider from Wild Wild West
Hey, I never said the spiders had to be living ones, did I? While Wild Wild West is remembered as that god awful movie that nobody likes (And for good reason), I still love the design for the Robot Spider. Just look at this thing. It’s a giant steam powered robotic spider in the Old West. And if you know me, you would know that I love anything that looks that awesome in a different time period. Now, I am just going off the design here. There is really nothing else. Sure, it has cannons or some crap, but seriously. IT’S A GIANT STEAM POWERED SPIDER! That is the coolest thing ever, and it is probably the only thing people liked about this movie. And for good reason.
#9: The Metal Queen from Brutal Legend
You thought the Robot Spider was awesome? How about a spider made out of metal. When Eddie needs to get thicker strings for The Kill Master in order to heal Ophelia, he goes inside the Lair of the Metal Queen, which is a large cavern filled with spider webs and little angry spiders. Some even come out of humans stuck in webs. Once Eddie does finally reach the heart of the cave where thick strings are found, he is forced to fight the Metal Queen. The Metal Queen isn’t one to mess with though. She can strike you with her large blades, shoot acidic webs at you, and send a swarm of tiny little spiders to hurt you over time. And another thing. SHE HAS SO MUCH HEALTH! It took me over ten minutes to finally beat her. She’s not hard, but she takes so long to kill. And, just like the Robot Spider, her design is just so awesome looking. Seriously. Look at her! She’s made out of f***ing metal. Sure, she may not be in the most popular game, but dammit if she isn’t a really good spider.
#8: Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web
Oh, I’m sorry. Were you expecting every single spider on this list to be a threatening eight legged freak from Hell? Well, Charlotte is definitely not that, I assure you. Now, I am going off of the Charlotte I know from the 1973 animated film… And not the 2006 Charlotte. That one freaking terrifies me. When Wilbur is sent to Zuckerman’s farm, he is not able to make friends with anyone there at the time, until he meets a polite spider named Charlotte. Charlotte is seen as a friendly spider who is the first friend Wilbur has at the new farm. And this is proven throughout the movie (Or book if you're really old school), will Wilbur is planned to be slaughtered for food. Charlotte than does everything she can to make Wilbur famous in order to keep him from being killed. That is what makes Charlotte a great spider. She is always there for Wilbur no matter what, despite her size. And that is why she is on this list… But, let's go back to the threatening spiders.
#7: Skulltula Family from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Yeah, you all knew that a spider would be on this list. I would have chosen any of the bosses, but that would have been too obvious. Plus, I find these guys to be more interesting. The Skulltula Family were once humans who were extremely rich, but due to their greed, they were all turned into Skulltulas themselves. The only way for the curse on them to be broken is if someone (More specifically, Link), were to go around Hyrule and defeat all Golden Skulltulas and take their Tokens. Once ten Tokens are found, a curse would be broken on the kids, and after all one hundred (Yes, 100) are found, the curse on the father is broken. For each member saved, you are rewarded with a rare item. Either a bigger wallet, a treasure tracking device, or a Piece of Heart. I really do wonder what more of their backstory is like. Oh well, that is what makes Zelda games great. Always keep you wondering about the world.
#6: Frostbite Spiders from Skyrim
Oh boy, I do apologize for these ones. These are the first actual, non-metal or robotic spiders on this list that are giant, so I probably expect a few of you to be squeamish. Unlike most bugs in this game, Frostbite Spiders will always attack no matter what. Their health and strength depend on their size, and they are also able to shoot venom at you, which you can harvest and use on your weapons. They are mostly found in the wilderness, dungeons, or mines. These spiders always make sounds depending on what they are doing. When walking, they make a rustling sound. When waiting to attack, they make a purring sound. And of all the sounds they could have chosen when it attacks, why did they choose a nightmarish scream?! Oh, and it gets worse. There are even bigger ones. Normal Frostbite Spiders are as big as a dog, but the larger ones are taller than your damn character. And they are even stronger. The only reason they didn’t make it to the top five is because they can be domestic pets. Lis is a spider and pet of Gabriella, so it’s obvious that these spiders can be tamed. Better that than getting poisoned by the little bastards.
#5: Black Tiger from Resident Evil
When my friends told me that there was this thing called Black Tiger in the game, I got so excited, because I was expecting a giant tiger in the game. When I found him, all I saw was a giant spider. First off, I said “That lying son of a bitch”. Of course, that was after I nearly pissed myself in fear because THIS THING IS CREEPY! Apparently, like every damn thing else in the mansion, this spider was tested on by scientists, but the test was seen as a major screw up on their part, and they tried to get rid of the thing. However, the B.O.W chemicals made it grow larger and made it stronger, as well as become the leader of other smaller spiders named Web Spinners, because Giant Spider scary enough. Oh, and let me remind you this is in the same game with a Giant Snake and a Giant Plant… Yeah….
#4: Mimi from Super Paper Mario
Oh my god. And I thought Legend of Zelda would have the scariest spider on this list when it comes to Nintendo games, but after playing this… Oh my god. So you first meet Mimi as a young girl, who is just one of those spoiled girls. You see her a lot around Level 2-4, but never once is she seen as being a threat. I mean, it’s a Mario game, so, what do you expect. However, once you make it to the basement… Oh my god. She then breaks her neck, spins her head around at a 360 degree angle three times, and then sprouts legs out of her head, turning into a spider… Ugh. The main reason she’s on the list is the build up and the transformation, which is just nightmarish. Can’t say the same for the fight which is…. actually kind of easy.
#3: Shelob from Lord of the Rings
Here is the first movie spider I ever saw. And what a damn way to start off my spider-viewing experience. Little is known about Shelob, other than the fact that she was born from some spider with a far too long and confusing name, and I am an American, so I am too lazy to look it up. Anyway, Shelob is known for eating EVERYTHING! Humans, Elves, Hobbits, Dwarves, Orcs, even her own children. Everything for her is fair gain for her. She is only able to live there because Sauron needed her to be the perfect guard for his secret paths. She is first seen when Frodo is taken to her by Orcs. Here, Sam finds Frodo in a silk cocoon, unconscious due to Shelob’s poison. And let me tell you, Lord of the Rings is already scary enough, but it’s made even more scary with a giant spider in pitch black darkness. That is why I remember this scene from the movie so well. Just the dark colors and the giant spider is so creepy, yet so good. I also remember having a figurine of him when I was a kid. I would always make fictional adventures of Aragon killing the thing instead of Sam. Yep, making fanfics before I ever heard of them.
#2: Spider Queen from Okami
Oh my god. I think we may have found the most terrifying spider on this list. The Spider Queen is a large spider with a womans head and a flower on her back with eyes in it. She is first seen as a simple spider, but after the revival of Orochi, she then becomes hostile, destroying the nearby towns river. When you do fight her, get ready to be disturbed. Other than appearances, the Spider Queen is actually based on Japanese mythology known as the Jorogumo. The Jorogumo is a spider that changes her form into a prostitute, and her name translated literally means “prostitute spider”. She would seduce men, lead them into her home, and then feed them to her children, which is just terrifying. Oh, and one more thing. The Spider Queen; She’s the game's very first boss. No, screw that. I’ve had enough. Good day.
#1: Spider from Limbo
I know what some of you are thinking. How is this spider so much worse than a little girl who can turn into a spider, a giant spider that eats everything, and a spider that is literally named Prostitute Spider. Well, I’ll tell you if you be quiet. Throughout the forest level of Limbo, you are constantly being hunted by this spider for unknown reasons. You then see that this thing is trying to impale you with it’s legs and try to eat you. So, you're best way to fight back is to try and tear it’s legs off. But that only makes it angrier. After you do so, it will leave, and try to kill you again later. And after you tear off more legs, it is just a one legged spider, and it still tries to kill you, until you tear off the last leg. After that, you use it’s legless body as a bridge to pass to the next area. What makes this spider number one is not size, of strength or looks. No. It’s how the creators made it. It made is a slow moving, yet deadly creature, and made it very subtle, as it is just a shadow, and it isn’t so hard to see. Honestly, seeing something move towards you slowly is ten times more scary than something that is lightning fast. And isn’t the whole point of Halloween to be scared? And that is what makes this spider number one.
So, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list. Tell me what you thought of it. With that said, I will see you all next time.