Wind: So, I get to go on a vacation to Spain, huh. This shouldn’t be so bad. I was getting sick of being in Ponyville all of the time anyway
Wind: Okay, I have no idea where I am going
Gonado: (Stares at Wind)
Wind: Uh…… Can I help you?
Gonado: (Speaks Spanish)
Wind: …….. Okay (Walks off)
Gonado: (Picks up an axe and follows Wind)
Wind: Well, that guy was a damn freak
Gonado: (Swings the axe at Wind’s head)
Wind: Goddamn it. Not again (Bend down to tie his shoes)
Gonado: (Misses, losing his balance, and falls off of the cliff)
Wind: Huh, wonder where that weird guy went
Wind: (Locks himself in his house, while Gonado’s try to break in) Man, how did I get into this mess
(10 Seconds Ago)
Wind: (Walks into a small village) Excuse me, you filthy people. Can you point me to the local hotel?
(Present)
Wind: I wasn’t expecting them to be so short tempered
Wind: How much can I get for this
Merchant: About thirty thousand dollars
Wind: Deal (Buys rocket launcher) I wonder when I’ll need to use this
(One Minute Later)
El Gigante: (Walks towards Wind)
Wind: ……. Well that’s new
El Gigante: (Speaks in a mentally disturbed voice) I’m David
Wind: Good for you. Can you like… die now
El Gigante: I want ice cream
Wind: Better. Have a rocket (Aims rocket launcher)
El Gigante: Aww. It’s cute. I’m gonna hug it and squeeze it and name it Ge- (The rocket blows up in his face)
Wind: And I’ll never meet anymore of those guys
Wind: (Walks into a locked room, and see’s Ashley) Oh, sorry. I thought this was the bathroom
Ashley: Oh thank god. Someone is here to save me
Wind: Ha ha ha ha. Okay, listen girl. I hate people. Including you. You just stay here in this locked room. And don’t follow me (Walks out of the room, and Ashley starts following him) No! Stay (Walks off, with Ashley still following him) What are you, a stray dog. Stay here, damn it (She doesn’t)
Wind: (Walks into a room, seeing Dr. Salvador with his chainsaw) Fuck that
Wind: (Walks into another room, seeing Chief Mendez’s transformation) Fuck that
Wind: (Walks into another room, seeing Garrador) Fuck that
Wind: (Walking with Ashley) Seriously, are you still following me. Do you want a biscuit or something?
Novistador: (Picks up Ashley and takes her away)
Wind: Eh, I don’t even care. Thank you giant bugs
Novistadors: (Start flying towards Wind)
Wind: (Walks off) Okay, leave me alone now
Wind: (On a boat) Okay, maybe I can leave this place (Stops on a small dock) Okay. Now maybe, I can find a motel (Walks up the docks, revealing he is on a military island filled with Gonado’s) OH GODDAMN IT
Wind: (Pushes a button to open a door)
Regenerator: (On the other side of the door) Hello
Wind: (Pushes the button again
Regenerator: Good-bye (Door closes)
Wind: Okay, time to lea- (Sees Ashley) Oh. It’s you again…. GREAAAAT
Saddler: So, you came
Wind: Uh….. I have no idea who you are
Saddler: You think you can stop me
Wind: I never wanted to be here
Saddler: I will show you my true power (Transforms)
Wind: I JUST WANT TO FUCKING REST
Wind: (On a boat with Ashley) Jesus Christ. I’m surprised I survived that guy
(20 Minutes Ago)
Wind: (Get’s smacked by a leg) Ah (gets thrown across the room) Ouch (Gets bitten) Oh god (Gets stepped on) No! Please! (Saddler picks up an iron beam) Oh, not again (Get’s hit with said beam) AAAHH!
(Present)
Wind: Man, fuck Spain. I’ll just go to Africa next time. Africa can’t have something like that, right?
Ashley: Whatever happened to that other guy who came here
Wind: I have no idea who you are talking about
(Meanwhile)
Leon: Ashley! I’ve come to sa- (Sees the room is empty) Uh… Ashley?
Dr. Salvador: (Walk in and decapitates Leon)
Wind: Okay, I have no idea where I am going
Gonado: (Stares at Wind)
Wind: Uh…… Can I help you?
Gonado: (Speaks Spanish)
Wind: …….. Okay (Walks off)
Gonado: (Picks up an axe and follows Wind)
Wind: Well, that guy was a damn freak
Gonado: (Swings the axe at Wind’s head)
Wind: Goddamn it. Not again (Bend down to tie his shoes)
Gonado: (Misses, losing his balance, and falls off of the cliff)
Wind: Huh, wonder where that weird guy went
Wind: (Locks himself in his house, while Gonado’s try to break in) Man, how did I get into this mess
(10 Seconds Ago)
Wind: (Walks into a small village) Excuse me, you filthy people. Can you point me to the local hotel?
(Present)
Wind: I wasn’t expecting them to be so short tempered
Wind: How much can I get for this
Merchant: About thirty thousand dollars
Wind: Deal (Buys rocket launcher) I wonder when I’ll need to use this
(One Minute Later)
El Gigante: (Walks towards Wind)
Wind: ……. Well that’s new
El Gigante: (Speaks in a mentally disturbed voice) I’m David
Wind: Good for you. Can you like… die now
El Gigante: I want ice cream
Wind: Better. Have a rocket (Aims rocket launcher)
El Gigante: Aww. It’s cute. I’m gonna hug it and squeeze it and name it Ge- (The rocket blows up in his face)
Wind: And I’ll never meet anymore of those guys
Wind: (Walks into a locked room, and see’s Ashley) Oh, sorry. I thought this was the bathroom
Ashley: Oh thank god. Someone is here to save me
Wind: Ha ha ha ha. Okay, listen girl. I hate people. Including you. You just stay here in this locked room. And don’t follow me (Walks out of the room, and Ashley starts following him) No! Stay (Walks off, with Ashley still following him) What are you, a stray dog. Stay here, damn it (She doesn’t)
Wind: (Walks into a room, seeing Dr. Salvador with his chainsaw) Fuck that
Wind: (Walks into another room, seeing Chief Mendez’s transformation) Fuck that
Wind: (Walks into another room, seeing Garrador) Fuck that
Wind: (Walking with Ashley) Seriously, are you still following me. Do you want a biscuit or something?
Novistador: (Picks up Ashley and takes her away)
Wind: Eh, I don’t even care. Thank you giant bugs
Novistadors: (Start flying towards Wind)
Wind: (Walks off) Okay, leave me alone now
Wind: (On a boat) Okay, maybe I can leave this place (Stops on a small dock) Okay. Now maybe, I can find a motel (Walks up the docks, revealing he is on a military island filled with Gonado’s) OH GODDAMN IT
Wind: (Pushes a button to open a door)
Regenerator: (On the other side of the door) Hello
Wind: (Pushes the button again
Regenerator: Good-bye (Door closes)
Wind: Okay, time to lea- (Sees Ashley) Oh. It’s you again…. GREAAAAT
Saddler: So, you came
Wind: Uh….. I have no idea who you are
Saddler: You think you can stop me
Wind: I never wanted to be here
Saddler: I will show you my true power (Transforms)
Wind: I JUST WANT TO FUCKING REST
Wind: (On a boat with Ashley) Jesus Christ. I’m surprised I survived that guy
(20 Minutes Ago)
Wind: (Get’s smacked by a leg) Ah (gets thrown across the room) Ouch (Gets bitten) Oh god (Gets stepped on) No! Please! (Saddler picks up an iron beam) Oh, not again (Get’s hit with said beam) AAAHH!
(Present)
Wind: Man, fuck Spain. I’ll just go to Africa next time. Africa can’t have something like that, right?
Ashley: Whatever happened to that other guy who came here
Wind: I have no idea who you are talking about
(Meanwhile)
Leon: Ashley! I’ve come to sa- (Sees the room is empty) Uh… Ashley?
Dr. Salvador: (Walk in and decapitates Leon)
LATER:
In the slaughterhouse, Rick quietly cuts his handcuffs (fashioned out of rope) with a wooden stick that he hid in his sock.
Man 1: You smell the smoke? You hear the shots? He could be dead.
Man 2: The hell we doing here? The whole place could be going up.
Man 1: You went on one roundup and you blew protocol. We don't deal with security. That ain't our job. This is... Hey, look at me.
Rick: (appears out of nowhere) FOR GLORY! (stabs the knife into his knife, killing him instantly).
Man 2: Oh man.. Thank god that wasn't m- (
Rick: (stabs him in the neck, and than in the stomach, brutally killing him).
Man 2: (dying) Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
Rick: No! (keeps stabbing him).
Rick: (taking out his AK47 as he prepares to fight his way out) Stop.. Let them turn... Cross any of these people, you kill them. Don't hesitate.. They won't.
Bob: I- Is Rick being INTELLIGENT?
Glenn: Yeah... Kinda creepy, isn't it?
In the slaughterhouse, Rick quietly cuts his handcuffs (fashioned out of rope) with a wooden stick that he hid in his sock.
Man 1: You smell the smoke? You hear the shots? He could be dead.
Man 2: The hell we doing here? The whole place could be going up.
Man 1: You went on one roundup and you blew protocol. We don't deal with security. That ain't our job. This is... Hey, look at me.
Rick: (appears out of nowhere) FOR GLORY! (stabs the knife into his knife, killing him instantly).
Man 2: Oh man.. Thank god that wasn't m- (
Rick: (stabs him in the neck, and than in the stomach, brutally killing him).
Man 2: (dying) Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
Rick: No! (keeps stabbing him).
Rick: (taking out his AK47 as he prepares to fight his way out) Stop.. Let them turn... Cross any of these people, you kill them. Don't hesitate.. They won't.
Bob: I- Is Rick being INTELLIGENT?
Glenn: Yeah... Kinda creepy, isn't it?
#20: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas Gamecube Version
Wow. We’re just starting off really strong, aren’t we. The first Flintstones movie wasn’t exactly Oscar worthy, but at least it wasn’t the sequel, Viva Rock Vegas, a movie that nobody liked and was probably made because of a lack of ideas. So naturally, with a movie that bad that was a sequel to a not great movie based on a cartoon show, it only makes sense that this movie would get a game based on it. A Dreamcast version was planned, but was later cancelled and the game was then ported to the Playstation 2. It was a racing...
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Wow. We’re just starting off really strong, aren’t we. The first Flintstones movie wasn’t exactly Oscar worthy, but at least it wasn’t the sequel, Viva Rock Vegas, a movie that nobody liked and was probably made because of a lack of ideas. So naturally, with a movie that bad that was a sequel to a not great movie based on a cartoon show, it only makes sense that this movie would get a game based on it. A Dreamcast version was planned, but was later cancelled and the game was then ported to the Playstation 2. It was a racing...
Okay, let’s talk about Fallout. I never played the first two, ut I hear they are all time classics. Fallout 3 was interesting, 4 was okay, and as much as we’d all love to forget about 76, Bethesda fucks up enough to keep it in the everyone’s crossheirs. But I didn’t mention New Vegas, so you know which ones on the list.
New Vegas follows a young man or woman known only as the Courier, who happens to get roped into some bad stuff, involving a fancy dressed man named Benny, voiced by Chandler from Friends. Boy, how will the Courier get outta this one? He won’t. He gets shot in...
Despite being a huge baby when I was a kid, there were few horror games or movies that scared me. I was mostly scared by trivial things, like the boulder in Crash Bandicoot or the PS1 startup screen. I was never really scared of anything horror related… Resident Evil Remake was that one exception.
Being worked from the ground up to reimagine the original game and make it even more stunning, the game follows the S.T.A.R.S. team as they go into the mountains to investigate mysterious murders. There, they find a mansion full of zombies and monsters and now must survive to uncover the truth...
So Devil May Cry 3. Yeah, I bet you all were expecting it to be high on the list. After the disappointment that was 2, we needed a real good one. And a damn good one we got, so let's talk about it right no-
Smooth Criminal has already stolen this review
Today I'm taking over to review what is probably my favorite Devil May Cry game, Devil May Cry 3 Dante's Awakening.
For those not aware, Devil May Cry is a character action series developed by Capcom, created by the director of Resident Evil 2 and who would later go on to create the Bayonetta series, Hideki Kamiya. The original title,...
So whenever I hear someone describe something that is weird as, “Wow, what kind of drugs were they taking when they made this”, I just groan. I always hated the whole criticism of how something weird must be related to drugs or any other illegal substance, and that there is nothing creative or thought provoking into the madness. Now, is there anything thought provoking about Katamari Damacy? …. Eeeeehhh.
So Katamari Damacy is not really a drug trip, but more of a… case of being Japanese. After the King of All Cosmos (Yes, that’s his name) destroys all the stars in the sky after...
