How do I become sarcastic?
"I'm the queen of sarcasm, you don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"
My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"
My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"
What's an appropriate site for a 13 year old girl?
Can you get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"
Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"
I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"
Why are babies ugly at first?
"How about you stay underwater 9-10 days, and squeeze though a straw, and see how YOU look."
How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."
Is is normal to be in love with your dog?
"... You need help"
Do you cats know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"
Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"
Are their birds in Canada:
"Obviously you never seen Alpha and Omega"
What happens if you paint your teeth white with nail polish?
How do I test if my turtle is gay?
"you show it your penis, and see if it stares for more than 20 seconds"
Are there autographs of Jesus Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"
How does sex start?
"With human contact!"
How long can a little girl hold her breathe
How do I ask a question on Yahoo Answers?
"YOU JUST DID!!"
How do you tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
"Take it to McDonald's"
Do midgets have night vision?
"Only in Mexico"
Why is canada a safe country?
"Cause the mighty king Goose gives us food to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape.."
Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my turtle against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"
Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this year for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"
The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"
Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"
Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"
Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"
Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not, they sold them all for guns"
I caught my son having sex with another guy, I think he might me gay.
"You THINK he might be gay!?"
What another word for being wrong?
Is it wrong too join a certain race?
"Not if you ask the guys dressed as ghosts"
Why does my arm turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?
"Because your a fucking moron"
What's wrong with my boyfriend?
"He's dating you"
How do you hide a boner?
"You get a girl to hide it in"
How did the cow milking routine get started?
"I'm guessing there was a cow molester.."
How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
"Lord help this woman."
How do you join Facebook.
"I want too be sarcastic.. But I struggled with this myself.. So I feel bad"
"Is evolution true? Why hasn't my dog become an elephant?
"Because he's not a pokeymon."
What happens to people burn on February?
"They get locked up in an asylum."
Why dose South Park make fun of Canada?
"Because they truly believe we are hillbillies living in igloos and all that.."
Why is Korn so awesome?
"Cause Chuck Norris materbates to their songs."