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How do I become sarcastic?
"I'm the queen of sarcasm, you don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"


My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"


My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"


What's an appropriate site for a 13 year old girl?
"Try Porn-Hub"


Can you get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"


Why are babies ugly at first?
"How about you stay underwater 9-10 days, and squeeze though a straw, and see how YOU look."


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."


Is is normal to be in love with your dog?
"... You need help"


Do you cats know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"


Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"


Are their birds in Canada:
"Obviously you never seen Alpha and Omega"


What happens if you paint your teeth white with nail polish?
"You die!"


How do I test if my turtle is gay?
"you show it your penis, and see if it stares for more than 20 seconds"


Are there autographs of Jesus Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"


How does sex start?
"With human contact!"


How long can a little girl hold her breathe
"3 weeks"


How do I ask a question on Yahoo Answers?
"YOU JUST DID!!"


How do you tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
"Take it to McDonald's"


Do midgets have night vision?
"Only in Mexico"


Why is canada a safe country?
"Cause the mighty king Goose gives us food to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape.."


Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my turtle against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"


Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this year for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"


The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"


Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"


Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"


Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"


Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not, they sold them all for guns"


I caught my son having sex with another guy, I think he might me gay.
"You THINK he might be gay!?"


What another word for being wrong?
"Women"


Is it wrong too join a certain race?
"Not if you ask the guys dressed as ghosts"


Why does my arm turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?
"Because your a fucking moron"


What's wrong with my boyfriend?
"He's dating you"


How do you hide a boner?
"You get a girl to hide it in"


How did the cow milking routine get started?
"I'm guessing there was a cow molester.."


How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
"Lord help this woman."


How do you join Facebook.
"I want too be sarcastic.. But I struggled with this myself.. So I feel bad"


"Is evolution true? Why hasn't my dog become an elephant?
"Because he's not a pokeymon."


What happens to people burn on February?
"They get locked up in an asylum."


Why dose South Park make fun of Canada?
"Because they truly believe we are hillbillies living in igloos and all that.."


Why is Korn so awesome?
"Cause Chuck Norris materbates to their songs."
posted by Windwakerguy430
The Richardsons
(Applause)
Starring Howard
Howard: (Hearing clapping, as he looks up from his newspaper)
Wendy
Wendy: (Startled from the clapping)
Oscar
Oscar: (Looks around his bedroom as he hears clapping)
Megan
Megan: (Takes off her headphones to hear the clapping)
And Bob
Bob: (Smiles)

The Richardsons is filmed in front of a live studio audience
(70’s sitcom music plays)
(Camera zooms in on a decrepit house with boarded doors and windows)
(Everyone sitting at the breakfast table, looking as if they are crazy)
Wendy: Howard, what are we gonna-
Howard: Quiet. If we don’t talk, they won’t...
continue reading...
posted by Windwakerguy430
Master Sword was born in Manehatten. He was always cared for by his mother, but his father, being a drunkard, a cheater, and a poor parent, had never liked him. His father would always insult him, hit him, and call him gay, because he never had a girlfriend in school. However, he always cared about Sword's brother, Chimney Sweep, who always wanted to be better than Sword, and he always did one up Master Sword in everything he did. Cookie Crumb, Master Sword's young sister, always cared about him, just like his mother, but was always scared of him when he got angry. Due to how Master Sword was...
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Craig Armstrong: For those who don't know. He's the voice of the famish Dan..

Max Gilmardi: It's one of the many reasons I love Spike in pony,mov. I tried watching more of his videos,, but his only one I laughed at is, "Little Jerry and the closet".. (I also love his name for some reason).

Daniel Baxter: (How it should of ended)

Seth Macfarlene:

Greg: (Voice of the mentally advanced series)

Shia LaBeouf:

Ned Luke: (Micheal De Santa)

Rob Weithoff: (John Marston)

Jane Lynch: Not kidding when I say. I hope she ends up appearing in my little pony. Though I don't see it ever happening..

Mrawkwardreviewer:


There's obviously more.. But it'll go on and on forever..
added by Seanthehedgehog
I'm so fresh you can suck my nuts.
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I hope there's a reference to American Graffiti
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Wind: (Sitting in class with the other students) So what’s all this about?
Cody: Well, it’s Veteran’s Day. I think the school had something planned
Administrator: Alright, students, listen up. In honor of Veteran’s Day, we have a two very special guests with us. First, let me introduce you to Thomas Reynolds
(A man walks into the classroom, carrying an oxygen tank with him)
Administrator: He’s a World War II veteran who fought in Germany. It’s amazing he was able to survive. Anything you want to discuss, Mr. Reynolds
Thomas Reynolds: (Takes a breathe from his oxygen mask) I just want...
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added by alinah_09
LOL! xD and now you have 26 million subscribers Pewds!
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Bahahahaha! xD
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Sonic Kart sounds cool.
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added by Seanthehedgehog
Oh no. Not again!
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posted by Windwakerguy430
(A body lies in a small pool with blood coming out of it)
Cody: (Narrating) I never thought this sort of thing would happen to me

(2 Weeks Earlier)
Cody: (Watches Scarface) Wow… the 80s were fucked
Wind: I don’t know. Our generation isn’t any better. In fact, I think, besides the threat of nuclear war from the Russians, it’s a little worse.
Cody: Still though. All that because he sold cocaine
Wind: Well, it’s a dangerous business after all
Cody: I know… Maybe if he sold something like… cookies, it would have been better
Wind: And probably fucking retarded
Cody: I’m just saying. Things...
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added by Seanthehedgehog
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I'm not removing my mask
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posted by Windwakerguy430
~Facebook~

Man: Hi, friend
Wind: Uh… do I know you
Man: Of course you do. We just met five seconds ago. Now were the best of friends
Wind: I literally have no idea who you are
Man: Oh, you’re a funny guy. Like
Wind: What the hell was that
Man: I just liked your comment
Wind: But, all I did was say a sentence
Man: Like
Wind: Will you stop that
Man: Like
Wind: Cut it out
Man: Like
Wind: WILL YOU CUT IT THE F**K OUT
Man: Oh, man. Definitely Dislike

~Twitter~

Man: Hey, I just went to the store and bought some milk
Wind: Good for you
Man: Hey, I just opened the milk
Wind: Uh-huh
Man: Hey, I just drank the milk
Wind:...
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