posted by Windwakerguy430
(The content contains the extreme angry rambling of some nerd on the internet, and contains many things you may be offended or at the least, disagree with. You have been warned)
2016 was the worst thing since the the entirety of Tumblr. Okay, maybe it’s not that. Let me try again. 2016 is as fun as being diagnosed with seven types of cancer at once. Yeah, that sounds more fair. In case it wasn’t obvious, I really hated 2016. 2016 was the year everything and everyone fucked up… big time. And I’ve got a lot to talk about, so don’t you all worry. Now, before we’re forced to dig into the shit, I want to bring up one positive thing- One positive fucking thing- about 2016, so I’ll give this god awful year something to praise it for.
When it comes to the entertainment of 2016, we fucking killed it. We did so good in movies, shows, video games, not sure about music because I don’t care. Let’s talk about movies. Usually, I fucking hate modern day horror movies, but Don’t Breathe managed to be a really good movie. How good? Good enough for me to want to pay $20 for the Blu-Ray, and at a fucking Wal-Mart of all places. I never wanted to give that place my money, but those bastards just had to have Don’t Breathe on Blu-Ray. Fantastic Beasts was also a good movie. I thought that it was honestly going to be a mess, because how could you make a movie about a book that’s just about discussing monsters, but they managed to find a way. So, good for you. The Conjuring 2 was also an amazing movie. I never saw the first one, but after taking a look at this movie, it definitely makes me want to go and watch it. Animation also had a huge step-up with their line-up this year. Zootopia is a movie that you certainly have heard about and knowing these Disney movies with a strong message (Frozen) you won’t stop hearing about it, but that’s okay because it was actually good. Moana was also a great movie, and had some of the best original songs I’ve heard in a long time from a Disney movie. And the adult animated movie, Sausage Party, was good, despite the scummy shit that went on behind scenes. And, after watching the Deadpool movie, I can safely say that Deadpool is my favorite superhero. As for animated shows, this includes both anime and western animation, we managed to get some great ones this year. The Loud House is probably one of my favorite cartoons. And it’s all because Nickelodeon executives kept their dicks out of it like they did with Avatar and early Spongebob, and look how good those were. So, I have high hopes that The Loud House will remain a pretty good show for a while. Also, the reboot Voltron: Legendary Defender, managed to break away from the traditional reboots of being utter fucking trash and managed to be so damn good. As for anime, Drifters was a pretty good show, and it’s done by the guy who did Hellsing Ultimate, so of course it’s going to be good. Mob Psycho 100, done by the guy who did One Punch Man, was also a huge enjoyment. And you all know that I lost my shit (In a good way) When I watched Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable. That anime blew my load more than any porno could. Also, not totally related to anime, but the manga Precious Miss Black General was a great read. As for video games, and oh boy, we got a lot, so I’ll just list all the ones there were. Overwatch, Final Fantasy XV, Doom, Dark Souls III, Firewatch, Stardew Valley, Watch Dogs 2, Inside, Super Hot, Darkest Dungeon, Uncharted 4, Dishonored 2, Pokemon Sun and Moon, The Walking Dead: A New Frontier, Twilight Princess HD, ABZU, and so much more. Now, that doesn’t mean everything was perfect. Suicide Squad and Batman V Superman we're total fucking disappointments, Berserk 2016 was a real let down, and No Man’s Sky turned Hello Games into Hell No Games. Still, 2016 did well with it’s entertainment. But, with that out of the way, let’s get into the real shit.
I’m not saying that 2016 isn’t the only year where celebrities were taken from us, but it definitely feels the most hard hitting. So, who did we lose? Well, where the fuck do I start. Famous boxer Muhammad Ali, musician Prince, David Bowie, actor Alan Rickman, actor Gene Wilder, singer Leonard Cohen, writer of To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee, Terry Wogan, comedian Ronnie Corbett, singer Christina Grimmie, actor of R2-D2 from Star Wars Kenny Baker, and lastly, member of Wham!, George Michaels, who passed away recently. It’s as if 2016 hadn’t taken away enough people, it had to grab one more star just before it fizzled away on it’s own. Oh, and speaking of taking lives.
When I brought up celebrities, I’m sure some of you were thinking, “But, Wind, what about Harambe. Should we get our dicks out?”. And if you were… You need to just get the fuck off this article. Anyway, my point is… memes this year were just so fucking awful. First off… Pepe. This meme seems to have taken over the internet back in 2005, and ten years later, it’s come back for some more, all thanks to the election… And I will be sure to get to that VERY soon. Second… Damn Daniel. I’m sure you’ve seen IHE’s video on this, and he has described it way better than I ever have, but I assure you, it’s the most annoying thing ever. The comedy that comes from someone shouting, “Damn Daniel” with the same voice is like shaking keys in front of a baby’s face. Is that what we’ve devolved to? Just being entertained by fucking keys? No, not really… After seeing Damn Daniel, I see keys as a fucking Kevin Smith movie. Third… The Nutshack. I remember wanting to hear more about this just because of how awful it is… Well, you should always be careful what you fucking wish for. Now, everywhere I look, there’s videos of this shit. The Nutshack theme sped up. The Nutshack theme replaced with this one thing. This also goes for all the Bee Movie and We Are Number One memes, which is no doubt plastered all over your fucking recommendations on Youtube (Which I will also get to soon). Fourth, Harambe… Fuck it. Fifth…. Bottle Flipping. Every single fucking freshmen in my high school does this shit. And they even have the goddamn nerve to dab each time they land, which it rarely does. Every time they do some sort of shitty bottle flip, I certainly want to flip those freshman something, if you catch my drift.
4. Youtube in General
Okay, so let’s start with the first fuck up. Maybe the biggest to others, but not to me. But this still pissed me off so much. Everyone remember the #WTFU movement on Youtube. For those who may have been living under a big ass rock, which, in 2016, it was probably a smart move on your part, the #WTFU movement, short for Where’s The Fair Use, was where Youtubers were against Youtube’s bullshit fair use laws, where they would copyright any Youtuber over anything. If anyone saw any sort of material, they would take it down instantly. Sometimes, they would just take it down without viewing it, as if to say fuck you, who cares. Thankfully, this seems to have gotten better. But Youtube sure as shit hasn’t. Their next fuck up was this massive glitch that automatically unsubscribed many people from their favorite Youtubers, and instead of announcing it or fixing it, Youtube just left people to fend for themselves and told them that nothing was wrong, when clearly, something was. Both with the website and their fucked mentality. Oh, but the one thing that Youtube did that really made me want to fucking set my computer on fire was a little thing known as Youtube Heroes. So, Youtube Heroes tells you that you can make Youtube better for everyone. Okay, sounds reasonable enough. Fix captions, give advice, earn points, mass flag videos- And there it is. Right there. So, basically, when you reach a certain rank as a “Youtube Hero”, you can flag videos and get them taken off… This is the stupidest fucking shit possible. You’re literally giving people, most likely huge trolls and people who find Youtubers they don’t like because they don’t 110% agree with what they say, they can call it too offensive for Youtube and have it deleted. What the fuck was Youtube thinking with this shit? Are they out of their goddamn minds?! Youtube Zeroes, if you ask me. And I’m not the only one pissed about this shit. It’s ranked 13 on the most disliked Youtube videos ever, but I don’t know why… It should have way more. I’d say migrate to another video sharing website, but… where? Youtube’s pretty much monopolized the entire industry, so it’s that or nothing, sadly. Youtube’s a crock of shit, and there isn’t even a way to get out of it.
Now… I’m not sure how I can talk about this so easily, given the subject. Now, I know that terrorism was a really big thing back in the early 2000s. I mean, shit, you couldn’t even a different color that wasn’t white without police questioning you for carrying a bomb. But, don’t worry, if you missed that, good ol’ 2016 brought bag the big terrorist scare, thanks to the fucking scum at that does some of this shit. So, let’s discuss a few. The bombings all across Europe, killing so many people. The shootings at Pulse Nightclub, which only lead to people becoming overjoyed just because these were only people of different sexuality. The University of Ohio attacks that I’m just thankful no people died. The attacker died, but I said people, not a fucking monster wanting to take the lives of people. I mean, I’m just glad the worst of that was over. Oh wait, it got turned into a meme. First Ohio has to deal with Harambe, now this. For fucks sake, why is my home state filled with so much dark memes, and not even good ones. This year really brought out the worst of people. Not just in terrorism, but just how others reacted. Some were happy that homosexuals were killed, people nearly dying was made into a joke, and this will no doubt create paranoia in the country, if it already hasn’t. This just create one big domino effect that will no doubt only get worse and worse as time goes on.
6. 2016 Election
Oh, now we’re getting into fucking code red territory. The shit no one wants to talk about for fear of starting a huge war. Well, I’m gonna talk about it. This entire election was a circlejerk clusterfuck mishmash of stupidity. You had the choice of overly protective Hillary Clinton and the living meme himself, Donald Trump. Needless to say, I didn’t vote for either one of them. Then again, I’m 17, so I couldn’t, but I’m sure that my opinion wouldn’t have changed I was of legal age. These two debating on TV was nothing more than a goddamn joke. Seriously, me and my friends were laughing at how stupid this got. If you’re laughing at the presidential candidates, than maybe there should be some people looking into this. But, that was just the beginning. Nearing the end, I thought that I could get some peace, and that once the election ended, we could all just rest and treat this like a really funny and odd memory we share at the office Christmas party…. I was dead fucking wrong. No, instead of just getting over this and being mature about it, the whole country started to fall the fuck apart like Jenga. Riots breaking out, people threatening suicide just because Trump won. I literally saw a fight in my school break out because this one guy cheered that Trump one and another guy threw him off the table because he was a Hillary supporter. Are you fucking serious? It was just an election. A full blown retarded election, but still an election. You’re going to kick the shit out of a fellow student and risk getting suspended, probably getting assault charges as well, just because of his political opinion. Oh wait, it’s America. And in America, your opinion on politics, religion, and on if you prefer Xbox, Playstation, or PC is bound to get you fucked up.
7. Political Correctness and Extreme Feminism
Okay, first off, let me say a few things. Retarded. Cunt. Black person. There, I just said so many things that could piss your typical politically correct asshole. So, sorry I didn’t say “Special need”, “female”, and “individual of African descent”, because I’m not a pussy… Oh, I’m sorry, I meant to say “genitalia of female gender”. What I mean to say is that political correctness makes me want to set my fucking self on fire. Then again, they’d want that, because if I set myself on fire, I’d set my cock on fire, and the less dicks in the world, the better for those easily offended pricks. So, let me explain… Political correctness is AIDS- I mean it’s cancer- I mean it’s fucking trash- … It’s a sort of thing to where people question you and call you racist because of what you do or say, usually nothing that has anything related to what they say, like putting too much creamer in your black coffee means you white to dominate the blacks or something these retards say to make them feel like they’ve done good for humanity without having to give money to charity. And then you’ve got feminist extremism. Holy fucking shit, don’t even get me started… Well, too late, but anyway, this is the shit that made me want to sodomize my dick hole with a cactus dildo. Crude, but trust me, you’d probably do the same. Now, let me be very clear before you set my house on fire. I like feminism. I think woman should have the same rights as anyone. I respect them and what they do… But, what I fucking hate are those woman (Usually loud beasts of humans whose vaginas are as unused as an AOL dial-up internet disc) call everything sexist, and I mean EVERYTHING! Oh, your game has a woman standing in a pose. It’s sexist. You’re movie poster has a villain choking a woman. It’s sexist. Your show has skinny woman and not chubby women. It’s sexist. You know you’ve fucked up when other woman fucking hate your guts. They’re stupidity and annoyance have put such a bad reputation on real feminists, that people cringe and are quick to groan at just the word feminism alone. But… The real reason, the real, true reason I despise political correctness and extremists is because of one thing. One little thing is what I fucking hate about them. It’s because of how they look at people like me. You see, extremists and politically correct R-tards say that I am a horrible person because, get this… I am a white, straight male. They say that all men (Just males), who are white (Only white), and are straight (Full blown heterosexuals), have all the money and power and can get away with anything, and are able to live happy lives. But, guess what. My dad has had bad run ins with police officers, including one time when he had to defend himself from five people at once, and had the blame placed on him because he struck a 17 year old. And guess what? My dad is a straight white male. I have to grow up on welfare and care source, and barely make enough to get by, and finding work is hard for me, my dad, and my brother. Guess what? We’re all white, straight, and males. These extremists are saying that I should be ashamed just because of the color of my skin, the way I choose my sexuality, and what I have between my legs. Their saying that I should be ashamed of who I am just because of the way I was born. No, fuck that, and fuck those extremists pieces of shit who think that I should hate myself and my entire family just because of how I was born, which I couldn’t even help if I wanted to. You can’t change your ethnicity, your gender, or your sexuality, but you sure as shit can change the way your brain functions. They just choose the option of Stupid.
2016 can be compared to someone’s years in middle school. A massive fuck up and a complete waste of time. There were way more things that 2016 did to be such a mistake of a year, but these were the ones that I was pissed the most off about. It’s not 2006 or, god forbid, 2001, but in the end, we just need to treat 2016 like a teenagers baby and leave it to die in a Burger King dumpster. Here’s hoping for better things. 2017 is coming soon. It could do better, or it could be so much worse. However, with how the world is changing, how politics are changing, and how stupidity stays the same, one thing is clear. Years change, but in the end, everything will still suck more than a five dollar California hooker.