(Notice: All Jojo-nuary articles will be released on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If I made an article everyday throughout January, I’d just be exhausted)
Well, I already did the Stands for Vento Aureo last week, so I guess now is a better time than any to get started on the next part of Jojo, Stone Ocean. Now, Stone Ocean was a part that as very… mixed for Jojo fans. Many enjoyed the main Jojo, Jolyne, the main villain of this part, Enrico Pucci, and the story it had for it, but it seemed to have lacked in creative Stands. It’s like a reverse Vento Aureo, a part with amazing Stands, but weak characters, which is why it failed in the west. Now, I still don’t see Stone Ocean as the worst part, I found it to be quite an enjoyable part, but I can see why some people are against it. But the Stands… Oh boy, aside from a few, most of them were meh at the least. But instead of just saying what they are, why don’t we take a look at them and let you all judge for yourselves? So, let’s get started on the ranking of Stone Ocean Stands.
Rank 15: Dragon’s Dream (Used by Kenzou)
………. Oh my god. Dragon’s Dream isn’t just the worst Stand of Stone Ocean. It’s the worst Stand in all of Jojo. I hated this entire part of Stone Ocean so much that I just wanted it to end. So, what is Dragon’s Dream’s ability? What wondrous powers does this Stand hold that makes it different from the rest? Well, it has the ability to utilize feng-shui, in other words, deciding what is lucky and unlucky for a person and how that person can utilize it, such as how the user uses this method to make his kicks more powerful… Well, it’s certainly different, that’s for sure. But far from a good way. Dragon’s Dream doesn’t even do anything itself. Most of the work comes from the user, who just goes around, delivering high kicks to his targets. This Stand is even able to help the target, as, since this Stand has a personality of it’s own, it wants both sides to have an equal chance of winning, and just makes it to where he tells everyone involved their lucky and unlucky spots. But the fatal flaw of this Stand is that the entire part involving it was boring. I never got bored with Jojo. Not once. But Dragon’s Dream proved that even Jojo can be boring. I never thought I would have to say that watching an old man throwing jump kicks at plankton was boring, but Dragon’s Dream made it possible.
Rank 14: Manhattan Transfer (Used by Johngalli A)
From one boring Stand to another, the next Stand up is that of Dio follower, Johngalli A. Okay, first of, Johngalli A is just sniper rifle N’Doul… Because no one’s made that comparison before. Anyway, enough about the user. Let’s talk about the Stand. Manhattan Transfer is a Stand that is able to redirect the bullets that the user fires. The user can be all the way from a different building, and the bullet can travel to a totally different one. So it’s like the Stand, Emperor. Boy, Manhattan Transfer sure does bring back some Stardust Crusaders memories. Anyway, this Stand is different. While N’Doul needed to hear his targets to locate them, Manhattan Transfer needs to find them through air movement. So, if they happen to make the air move in any manner, Manhattan Transfer will spot them and will attack… As much as a Stand like that can attack. And that’s the biggest problem. This Stand barely did anything. It was mostly just sneaking around it, avoiding fighting it all together, and then Jolyne and Jotaro got attacked by Whitesnake, a WAY better Stand, allowing the user of Manhattan Transfer to get to them. Manhattan Transfer felt way less like an enemy Stand and more of a minor inconvenience. Almost like Tenore Sax. Yeah, remember Tenore Sax, that Stand in Stardust Crusaders that was defeated in seconds? Yeah, when you’re compared to Tenore Sax of all Stands, than you really did something wrong.
Rank 13: Survivor (Used by Guccio)
You know you failed when even Dio says that your Stand is the weakest. And after seeing Survivor, I believe it. I’ll give Survivor some credit, when he was just a road block, he was a road block on the side. Unlike Dragon’s Dream and Manhattan Transfer where they took chapters to go away. Survivor was just kinda hidden away while other Stand users fought. Anyway, Survivor is a Stand that has a backstory, shockingly. It was first found when a group of travellers went near the Stand in the mountains, causing them to go into a rage and kill each other. Not much, but so far, as Stands go here, its something. Anyway, In case the backstory wasn’t enough, Survivor has the ability to make everyone in the vicinity, friend or enemy, incredibly angry, to the point of rioting, and violently attacking each other. If two people at once are affected by Survivor, they will no doubt fight to the death, in an incredibly violent manner. Like… wow, this got violent. But that’s about where Survivor ends, really. That’s his ability and everything. He doesn’t do any of the fighting himself, and he doesn’t do much else but what I said. So… I can see what Dio means.
Rank 12: Jumpin’ Jack Flash (Used by Lang Rangler)
Okay, I’m gonna say right now that I have no clue what the hell happened in this part. Too much movement was going on for me to understand what the hell was happening in this fight. So, I hope you’ll forgive me when I have to read parts of the Jojo Wiki to even understand this. I’m sorry. I know that’s very unprofessional, but this fight was too hard to understand. So, anyway, Jumpin’ Jack Flash has the ability to cause anything it’s spit (Yes, you read that right) to lose gravity, and that includes people, and even the user of Jumpin’ Jack Flash. What’s more is that if that item or person touches anything else, it will lose it’s gravity as well and start to float off the ground. So, if a person who was affected by the gravity touches, say, a trash can, then that trash can will lose it’s gravity. So it creates a domino effect in a sort of way. Also, importantly, it can use screws and bolts as bullets. Felt that was important to mention. So, Jumpin’ Jack Flash sounds like a pretty cool Stand, but it suffers from the same issues as the previous Stands listed. It’s too long and nothing happens. If there is nothing happening throughout, then it just gets boring. And Jumpin’ Jack Flash has the added bonus of not understanding what the hell’s going on, not because of confusing storytelling that Stone Ocean was known for, but for how too much stuff was happening at once, and yet it was still somehow dull. I feel like this is a trend. Well, at least the ability was cool enough to make it not the worst Stand… but still far from being good.
Rank 11: Green Green Grass of Home (Used by Green Baby)
I have no clue what the hell happened with this. Hell, the moment the Green Baby was introduced did things get complicated to understand. But let’s not talk about the Green Baby. No, that’s a COMPLETELY different league of it’s own. Let’s just talk about the Stand, Green Green Grass of Home, which is confusing on it’s own. So, Green Green Grass of Home has a very strange ability. Whenever anyone gets close to the Green Baby, the moment they are half the previous distance, they will start to get further and further away from the Green Baby… At least, that’s how it seems at first. As it turns out, the Green Baby is at the same spot, but the person who is getting closer to it is actually begin to shrink in size, as well as lose stamina as well, making them easy to lose energy quickly. If at some point, the person manages to reach the zero point of the Green Baby, Green Green Grass of Home will try to wipe the person out of existence, causing them to vanish. I have to say, Green Green Grass of Home sounds like a very interesting Stand. So, how much of it is used? None. None of it is used at all. Only for the first appearance of the Green Baby is Green Green Grass of Home shown. After that, it is never used again. The reason Green Green Grass of Home is this low is for how little its used. If it was used more, maybe it would be up higher, but no. What a waste of potential.
Rank 10: Goo Goo Dolls (Used by Gwess)
Now, Goo Goo Dolls isn’t a terrible Stand. I mean, it has many unique abilities that makes it stand out amongst all the other Stands- It’s Little Feet… It’s just a smaller Little Feet. In case you don’t know what I mean, Little Feet was a Stand in Vento Aureo that could shrink anyone and the user as well. And Goo Goo Dolls does exactly that. Goo Goo Dolls is able to turn anyone into the size of a mouse, and the Stand itself can attack anyone if the target disobeys what Gwess says. The only difference between this and Little Feet is that the shrinking is instant where Little Feet’s shrinking takes some time, Goo Goo Dolls cannot shrink the user, and the target can grow back at random where Little Feet has to either make them normal sized by their own actions or die for them to be normal sized. I’ll say this. Goo Goo Dolls is better than Little Feet but is still just another Stand that makes people shrink. I’m more interesting in how the user, Gwess, used this Stand. Gwess loves small animals, but is very obsessed with wanting to be in charge of someone, so she uses Goo Goo Dolls to shrink people down so they can wear an animal suit that she made by killing an animal and carving out their insides. Yeah, this Stand is pretty creepy in that sense. Well, Gwess is, anyway. Goo Goo Dolls is just another Little Feet. A better Little Feet, but not a better Stand.
Rank 9: Planet Waves (Used by Viviano Westwood)
This is the part where the Stands start to get less terrible and more… odd. Well, these next three anyway. And this one is a Stand that… I don’t hate, but felt that the ability was… very limited. So anyway, Planet Waves is a Stand that doesn’t really do much for physical fighting. It just kinda Stands there and look… upset with the attacker. But this is mostly because the user, Viviano, does most of the fighting, since he is under the influence of Survivor. But the Stand, Planet Waves, does manage to come into play when a meteorite crashes into the prison. As it turns out, Planet Waves has the ability to manipulate meteorites in space to pass through earth’s atmosphere and crash into the earth, sending rocks to smash into the target. And that’s… about it, really… What more can I say. Planet Waves just sends meteorites at people. It’s too bizarre to hate. Then again, what would I expect from a series called Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure? It’s not terrible, but far from good. So Planet Waves gets put right in the middle. It’s just average, really.
Rank 8: Yo-Yo Ma (Used by D & G)
Now this is where the Stands get really bizarre. Yo-Yo Ma does what it can to behave less like a Stand and more like a minor character. Almost more than the actual user (Who I don’t even remember, or care for). Yo-Yo Ma is a Stand that has the ability to, whatever it’s saliva touches, will quickly burn through like a form of acid. And this isn’t just something use flings it at so that it will kill them. I mean he tries, but he does it in more creative ways, like putting them inside mosquitos or putting it on a person's tongue to keep them from talking or using it from a distance to burn off Foo Fighter’s face. But I think the best thing about Yo-Yo Ma is that it starts off as a very friendly individual. Sure, Jolyne and Anasui already know that Yo-Yo Ma is an enemy Stand, but is starts off as a friendly individual, trying to gain the trust of them by helping them out, such as hiding them from police or by sucking up to them at every possible opportunity. But, obviously, being an enemy Stand, Yo-Yo Ma is secretly planning to kill them with it’s acid. It’s like some sort of horror movie creature, playing nice one minute as it waits to kill them. That is probably the best thing about Yo-Yo Ma, and I can at least say that it’s the start of where Stands for this ranking get better. So good job on being the first Stand that I think is positive for this list so far, Yo-Yo Ma.
Rank 7: Sky High (Used by Rikiel)
The first Stand on this ranking that belongs to one of the three sons of Dio, and it is… certainly the least interesting. Not that it’s bad, but compared to the other two sons, it’s lacking in comparison. So, Sky High, at first glance, just looks like a simple frog watch thing. But it manages to do a lot more than that. So, let me explain to you what Rods are. Rods, also known as skyfish, are these strange cryptids that move far too fast for humans to see with just their eyes, and live off human body heat. With Sky High, Rikiel is not only able to see Rods, but is also able to control them and make them follow his every order. He uses their food source of body heat by making the Rods devour the body heat of one person to make them incredibly weak, and make them prone to disease and injury. He can also easily kill them by attacking a point on the back of their neck. As stated before, Rods are impossible to spot. The only way anyone can spot them is by falling from the sky in free fall or if Rikiel stops them himself (Why he’d do that, I don’t know). Sky High does have some interesting ideas going for it, but when compared to the rest, I’m afraid to say that Sky High is lacking. Not terrible, especially compared to previous entries, but easily the lowest of Dio’s sons Stands.
Rank 6: Highway to Hell (Used by Thunder McQueen)
Oh boy, another Stand that activates when the user has to die. Everybody’s favorite Stands. Honestly, it’s another Stand like Cheap Trick or Notorious B.I.G. They are only created when the user dies and everybody hates them. I honestly don’t see anything wrong with them, and Highway to Hell is no exception. I don’t know, maybe it’s because it’s only good for one use and that’s it. Anyway, Highway to Hell, as I said, is a Stand that only works when the user dies. Whatever harm comes to the user, it will be transferred to the target. Sounds good, but then you realise that the user, Thunder McQueen, has crippling depression (I’m not gonna do it. I’m not gonna make the joke that you are all thinking). The thing is, only a person will be hurt if Thunder McQueen is hurt. But, if Thunder McQueen dies, than the target dies as well. So, naturally, Thunder McQueen tries different ways to kill himself, such as hanging, drowning, and electrocution even. And it would have all been effective if Ermes hadn’t gained the ability of Kiss as easily as she did. Once again, I don’t know why Stands like Highway to Hell are hated so much, but opinions. I won’t question it either.
Rank 5: Jail House Lock (Used by Miuccia Miuller)
Here is a Stand that has no way of fighting whatsoever. None at all. This Stand is as effective as a wet noodle. But for what it lacks in fighting power, it makes up for in how it uses it’s one ability. Jail House Lock is clearly not a fighting Stand (Obviously), so it relies on the ability to create short term memories for the target. By this, I mean that the person who is under the ability of Jail House Lock is only able to remember three new things. Once they reach a fourth thing, they will forget what the first thing was, and will continue to do so. So, example. Say that you learned someone’s name, where they are from, and what their favorite movie is. That’s three things. When they tell you the fourth thing, for example, what they like to eat, then you will remember that they like to eat tacos (Go with it), but you will forget what their name was. So, this pretty much limits what you have to remember. This does not affect long term memories, however. This Stand is confusing enough to deal with on it’s own. If it affected long term memories, than it would really be an OP Stand. It’s easy to see that this part of the ranking list is where Stands really start to get good (Thankfully)
Rank 4: Marilyn Manson (Used by Miraschon)
Hey, do you all remember D’Arby? Remember how awesome his battle was, where he would gamble with the group instead of fighting them, just screwing with their minds? Well this is even more D’Arby, only if it got very bloody and violent. Marilyn Manson is another Stand that is used by a gambler. The only difference is that, when both Elder D’Arby and Jotaro cheated, and when only Jotaro cheated against Younger D’Arby, here, only Miraschon can cheat. If the other cheats, Marilyn Manson will activate. So, what does Marilyn Manson do? Well, Marilyn Manson can only appear after someone makes a bet with Miraschon and either loses or is caught cheating. Once that person has lost or has been caught, Marilyn Manson will come to collect the debt that they owe from gambling. Now, of course, Marilyn Manson will take a person's money, and if they have the amount gambled, then that will be it. But, if a person does not have the money to pay off the debt, than Marilyn Manson will do more than that. It will tear out a person’s organs and sell them on the black market until it has the necessary amount from the debt. Yeah, this Stand clearly got violent. Instead of trapping a person’s soul in poker chips or puppets, Marilyn Manson rips your guts out. That’s very disturbing, but not shocking from another gambler character.
Rank 3: Limp Bizkit (Used by Sports Maxx)
Literally the only time I will ever call anything with the name Limp Bizkit cool. Anyway, Limp Bizkit is a Stand that activates right when the user dies… I don’t mean in that way. No, it’s not another Stand like Cheap Trick, Notorious B.I.G. and Highway to Hell. I mean that as in the user would have had it activated before, but died before he could… Let’s just talk about the Stand so you know what I mean. So, being a dangerous criminal, of course someone like Sports Maxx would have a very disturbing Stand. And yeah, he pretty much does. Limp Bizkit is a Stand that can turn anything that is dead within the area into invisible zombies… Yeah, that’s right. Limp Bizkit is a Stand that can bring the dead back to life as zombies, and are invisible and stronger than before. This isn’t just limited to people, though, as Limp Bizkit is able to do the same with animals that have been used for taxidermy. So, that means that the stuffed alligator that Sports Maxx has is brought back to life as an invisible zombie alligator… How many times in one’s life can a person say invisible zombie alligator. And this also works for Sports Maxx, as when he dies, Limp Bizkit revives him… as a zombie of course, but still. Limp Bizkit is a Stand that really appeals to the horror fans of the series, and damn if that doesn’t make Limp Bizkit a very interesting Stand (Unlike the band it’s named after)
Rank 2: Underworld (Used by Donatello Versus)
Next of the Stands of Dio’s three sons is that of the minor antagonist, Versus, a villain that I think should have had more in the story than what he got. But that’s a summary for another list in Jojo-nuary. We’re here to talk about his Stand, Underworld, so let’s talk about it. Underworld is a Stand that can unearth memories. By that, I mean that Underworld can find memories of any event that took place, since the ground on the Earth holds any sort of memory, and uses this to it’s advantage. Underworld is able to take anyone and place them within the world of the memory. Once they are within the memory, the memory will repeat as if the event is happening at that moment. So say that someone was put into the memory of a plane crash. They would be in the plane, and soon, they would end up in the crash. This means that the person who was placed into the dream would die within the plane crash. These memories are not just limited to the sight of Stand users, as non-Stand users can see the memories too, as shown when Versus threw two injured children into the plane crash memory. Yeah, Versus is one of THOSE enemy Stand users. Just like Steely Dan… But obviously better. The point is, Underworld is a Stand that has lots of interesting ideas that I love about it, being able to kill a person within a memory. It’s a real shame that Underworld wasn’t in it longer. Same goes for Versus.
Rank 1: Bohemian Rhapsody (Used by Ungalo)
Here it is. The last Stand to be introduced of Dio’s three sons and easily the best Stand of Stone Ocean. I find it funny, really. The least interesting and worst of Dio’s three sons manages to have the best Stand of part 6. I guess he had to have something good about him. His personality sure wasn’t giving him much. Anyway, Bohemian Rhapsody is a Stand that doesn’t have a physical form, but manifests as any sort of fictional character. And I mean ANY fictional character. From movies, to books, to anime, to pieces of art, to drawings of characters, anything comes to life, and is as strong as the material they are made from. So, if a character is made of paper, and you punch them, they just fold up. If they do happen to die, then they do not go back to where they originally were, and are forever gone from that work, as shown when Anasui killed Pinocchio… I’m not kidding. If a person runs into a character that they cherish, like say their favorite movie character, they will be put into the role of that character. If the character is fated to die, then the person who they have switched roles with will die in the same way. So, if a character is fated to be shot in the head, than they will die from a shot to the head as well. There’s so much to this Stand, even bringing to life other fictional characters, such as Snow White, Astro Boy, Little Red Riding Hood, Peter Pan, Pinocchio as stated before, Gigantor, Vincent Van Gogh, Venus from the Birth of Venus painting, Mickey Mouse, E.T., Snoopy from Peanuts, Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star, Chewbacca from Star Wars, T-1000 from Terminator, and even motherfucking SPIDER-MAN! The thing that makes Bohemian Rhapsody even more powerful is that this Stand’s range is infinite. That means that this Stand can have an effect on a global scale. When the Stand activates, it affects every inch of the world. As if Bohemian Rhapsody wasn’t strong enough, bringing fictional characters to life and making them dangerous to people, it just even affects the entire world. While Stone Ocean takes place in Florida, you hear how Venus is sitting in the middle of France, how Kenshiro is fighting villains in Japan, and how, throughout all this, Ungalo is just sitting in a plane, watching as the world goes to hell around him. Bohemian Rhapsody is an amazing Stand. I love it so much. It’s one of my favorite Stands. For what Stone Ocean lacked in most Stand battles, it made up for with this one Stand. Maybe this is where all of Araki’s work for this part went into. That and the story.