Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas
It was a wonderful day in Canterlot, until some ponies started panicking.
Con: What's going on?
P: Discord is back, and he's murdering more ponies!
Con: I'll stop him!
Discord: Keep it up! Everypony in this town must die!
Korean ponies: Affirmative! *kill each other*
Discord: Don't kill each other! Only kill the ones that live here.
Con: *shoots Discord*
Discord: You really think that pistol of yours will work?
Con: I shot you in the arm! Why aren't you bleeding?
Discord: Because, I'm invincible!
Con: *takes away invincibility* Not anymore.
Discord: That's it, you're screwed! Everypony, drop the nuke!
koreans: *drop nuke*
Con: Oh, fu- *wakes up* Oh thank goodness. It was only a dream.
Con's cell phone then started to ring
Con: Mane here
P: Con? Discord is back.
Con: And too bad I just woke up. *hangs up*
Fillies, and gentlecolts! I present to you the 6th Con Mane adventure, On Celestia's Secret Service
Doughnut Joe.................................Con Mane
Discord................... .....Ernst Staverald Discord
German ponies................................Good guys
Swedish & Korean ponies................Bad guys
Cars provided by
Con reported at P's office.
Con: I got your call, what's Discord up to now?
P: He is now trying to kill agents from various organizations.
Con: He must have a list with him.
P: He does. His first three targets are you, Fenix Lighter, and Rareesa.
Con: Really? Couldn't he kill some other pony?
P: He will, after he kills you three.
Con: *sighs* I'm on it. Should I see S before I leave?
The answer was yes.
S: Hello 0007.
Con: Hi S, what do you have for me?
S: Glad you asked, because it will blow you, and your enemies away.
Con: A missile shooting car?
S: Precisely, Chevronet Corvette with machine guns, and missiles behind the headlights.
Con: Both are behind the headlights?
S: Yes, and they pop up to, so you'll give your enemies a surprise.
Con: What about my gun?
S: A Nambu pistol, with a choice of automatic firing, or semi automatic.
S: And one more thing. Remember that pen I used to tranquilize somepony?
Con: How could I forget that?
S: I'm giving that to you. Not only is there a tranquilizer setting, but a confusion, as well as poison.
Con: Who knew words could kill?
S: I did. You'll be heading to Rareesa's home in Trottingham England, and make sure Discord does not kill her. Fenix, and some other M.I.3 agents will be there to help.
Con arrived at Rareesa's home.
Rareesa: Con, so glad you made it.
Con: Of course, I gotta make sure the sexiest mare in all of Equestria doesn't get killed.
Fenix: Along with me.
Con: Correction. I must make sure the sexiest mare ever, and my best friend don't die.
Rareesa: How long have you two known each other?
Con: Since we were colts.
Fenix: Right, and now we gotta go stop Discord.
The three ponies went for a walk toward a skiing resort. Rareesa lives in a really cool part of town, literally.
Fenix: I have some soldiers stationed by here. They'll be able to get us from here to Discord's base.
Con: Alright, in the mean time the three of us can go skiing.
Koreans: *arrive on snowmobiles*
Fenix: Or not.
Con: Go get those soldiers, we'll cover you!
Korean pony62: Hello you two.
Korean pony62: Don't think about running, because we are getting help from Sweden.
Con: You need all the help you can get to stop us. *shoots korean pony* Take his snowmobile!
Rareesa: *leaves on snowmobile*
Korean pony85: Alright you two, as we planned.
Con: *skis down hill*
Sweden pony24: *follows Con*
Con: *switches to automatic firing*
Sweden pony52: HA! He has a small pistol!
Con: *kills sweden ponies*
Korean pony85: *passes & shoots at Con*
Rareesa: Oh brilliant!
Korean pony85: *shoots at Rareesa*
Rareesa: *teleports behind pony*
Korean pony85: What?!
Rareesa: *breaks the pony's neck*
Con: Rareesa! You ok?
Rareesa: I'm alright darling. Where are the Germans?
Fenix: In helicopters!
Fenix: Hop in, and we'll get to Discord's base.
Con & Rareesa: *Get in helicopter*
German pony35: *Flies helicopter*
Con: How many ponies are here?
Fenix: 12, and they're all willing to fight alongside you.
Con: Excellent. Where is Discord's base?
German pony35: Right in front of us.
Korean pony86: Intruders!
Swedish pony48: It's the Germans!
Fenix: Con, get on ze machine gun.
Con: *gets on MG, & shoots enemies*
Swedish pony66: We need a rocket launcher!
Swedish pony23: Here! *gets bazooka*
Con: *destroys bazooka*
German pony35: We have to land.
Fenix: Then do it.
All three choppers landed on the base, and all 15 ponies stormed out.
Fenix: Con, through this way!
Con: I'm right behind you.
Swedish ponies: *fire at Germans*
Germans: *fire at Swedish*
Con: *shoots enemy* Whoops! Forgot it was on automatic. *reloads*
Rareesa: I'll cover you. *shoots two enemies*
Korean ponies: You Swedish scum can't do anything right! *Shoots Germans*
German pony47: We have 4 down!
Con: *heals them* Thank god for being a unicorn.
The fighting went on for two more minutes, until Con, & Rareesa decided to continue on, while the Germans would wait by the helicopters.
Con: *searches for Discord*
Rareesa: I can't find him anywhere.
Discord: *hits Rareesa*
Con: Whoa! You're not supposed to hit mares!
Discord: I don't care, I'm not a pony.
Rareesa: *hits Discord*
Discord: I have two intruders, and need back up.
Swedish ponies: *run toward Discord*
Con: Rareesa, get out of here with the others. I'll handle this. *fights Discord*
Swedish ponies: Hold your fire!
Con: *teleports himself & Discord on cable car*
Discord: *pushes Con*
Con: *holds onto ledge*
Discord: *grabs gun*
Con: *jams it with magic*
Discord: You goddamn unicorn. *hits horn*
Con: *climbs back up*
Discord: Stay down there! *hits Con*
Con: *grabs pistol*
Discord: *Fixes his gun*
Con: *Shoots Discord*
Discord: *Falls off cable car*
Now Con just had to escape Discord's army.
Con was stuck on the cable car, as it was heading toward some ponies that wanted him dead.
Fenix: Con! On here!
Korean pony77: *shoots at helicopters*
Con: Get outta here, I have something else in mind *jumps off cable car*
Con: *teleports at Rareesa's house* oh jeez.
Koreans, and Swedish ponies were at Rareesa's house. They had no idea Con was there, so he got in his car, and left just when he got a phone call
P: Where are you?
Con: Making sure S's equipment doesn't get stolen. Discord is dead, but I gotta go find Rareesa.
Rareesa: *appears in Con's car* Drive as fast as you can!
Con: I gotta go *floors it*
Korean ponies: *follow in other cars*
Con: What did you do?
Rareesa: The helicopters were getting shot down, and I left.
Con: You just abandoned the Germans?!
Rareesa: I made them invincible for 5 minutes.
Con: Oh thank Celestia. We need to escape these ponies now!
Koreans: *shoot at Con*
Con: I wanna try something *drops grenades*
Koreans: *blow up*
Rareesa: So much for them.
Swedish leader: But you forgot about us.
Con: *teleports into Ponyville raceway*
Swedish pony56: *steals race car*
Con: *shoots other race cars* That should block his path, and make him go into that lake.
Swedish pony56: *Crashes, and goes into the lake*
Swedish leader: *Shoots at Con*
Con: *Turns left*
Rareesa: What are you doing?
Con: Blowing him away *Shoots missile*
Swedish leader: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! *dies*
Con: *teleports off race track*
Rareesa: That was cool.
Con: thanks *Repairs car*
Fenix: Rareesa! Thank you for making us invincible.
Rareesa: It was the least I could do, since you were about to die.
Con: *laughs* You know Rareesa, I've been thinking..
Con: I know we've only known each other for less then two weeks, but..
Rareesa: But what?
Con: I love you. I know I'll never find another mare like you. Will you marry me?
Rareesa: *kisses Con* You mean it?
So it was settled, Con & Rareesa got married the next day, and the two were cruising down a road in Con's Corvette.
Con: I got a week's leave, so I'll hang with you until I have to go.
Rareesa: I'm planning on joining the C.I.E.
Con: You are? What about M.I.6?
Rareesa: Forget them, you're not in it.
Con: *Stops car*
Rareesa: *Grabs flower* Love me
Con: I already do
Rareesa: Infuriate me.
Con: I would never!
Con: In.. In a great honeymoon.
While the married coupled were kissing, Con was in for a surprise.
Korean mare: *driving by*
Discord: *shoots at Con*
Con: It's Discord! *gets into car* Discord.
Rareesa was killed, and Con tried to bring her back to life, but his horn was broken. Discord shot it. And 0007 swore to get revenge on the asshole that just killed his wife.
Con Mane will return in Diamond Tiara's Are Forever
Here are three previews to other fan fictions from SeanTheHedgehog.
Con Mane: You'll Only Live Twice - 2013
We begin our story in Beijing, which was violently taken over by the koreans.
Con: *sneaks onto dock*
korean pony55: What was that?
Con: *kills pony* More like who was that?
korean pony21: I'll be right back I just wanna get some cider.
Con: *sneaks toward warehouse*
korean pony21: *shoots at Con*
Con: *dodges bullets*
korean pony21: All units, we have an intruder in the warehouse!
Con: *pulls out gun* Where is that manifest?
korean leader: What do you need the manifest for? Grenades? We made specially designed grenades to blow up an entire building. Now that you know this, I gotta let you go *kills Con Mane*
A few days later the C.I.E found Con Mane dead in the warehouse.
P: Bring him back to life!
Doctor: We can't. It's past 24 hours.
S: Well, at least he died on the job. That's how he wanted to go down.
Moneybit: Yeah, *cries*
P: What happened that got you into this Con?
Hedgehog In Ponyville With A Vengeance - 2012
As Pinkie Pie shot a rocket, a grenade was being cooked, and thrown towards us. "This can't be good." Pinkie said. I knew this was bad, so I had to act quick. "Chaos Control!" I shout, as I move us away from the explosion. There was just one downside from what I just did. We were no longer in Equestria, but in another place I knew. "Where are we?" Applejack asked. I had no idea, but as I looked around, I soon realized where we were. Then I saw an '81 Impala with a California License Plate. It also had a year on it, "Oh damnit." I say "What's wrong?" Applejack asked, "Where are we?" "San Francisco 1982." I tell her. We time traveled back 32 years, and soon we were greeted by a guy wearing a mask, carrying a brown bag. "Hey!" he shouts. As I hear him shout, I floor it. The burglar then tried to shoot me, but missed breaking the window of a Mercury behind me. After I escaped the burglar I tried to use Chaos Control, but the sight of police lights behind me makes the emerald fall out of my hands, onto the floor. Applejack shouts at me, but I can't hear her because of the engine in my car, so she shot the officers behind my car. Pinkie Pie was the only one to help us out of this. "Pinkie, search in the glove compartment for a chaos emerald, ok?" I ask. Instead of getting a chaos emerald though she looks at me confused, "Aren't we already causing chaos?" she says. How the fuck am I supposed to respond to that?! The police are behind me, and we have to get back to Equestria, and help Rainbow Dash, and Shredder take Doughnut Joe's from Discord's control. "Please just look for it Pinkie!" I say. I didn't mean to shout at her, but I nearly crash into a mustang. Pinkie then finds the emerald and hands it to me. "Ok good job. Chaos Control!" Soon we arrive at the battle for Joe's.
1960 - 2015
Karl: I got a decent car for free. *Laughs to himself*
Cop: Attention all units, be on the lookout for a 1957 Ford Fairlane stolen from a Hertz rental place just outside of L.A.
Cop 4: Ten-4, we'll keep an eye out for the car.
Cop: The rental company doesn't want any damage on this car. Understood?
Cop 4: Roger.
Karl: *Yawns* Why do I feel so... sleepy? *Falls asleep*
Karl: *Swerving to the left, and right*
Ponies: *Honking their horns*
Karl: *Hits the brakes, and turns left. He goes faster*
Cop 4: That car is speeding.
Cop 3: Might also be the stolen car we're looking for.
Cop 4: *Drives after Karl*
The police turned on their sirens, but Karl was still asleep.
Karl: *Turns left, then right*
Pony: *In a station wagon, swerves to prevent herself from hitting Karl*
Cop 4: *Stops. The station wagon is blocking their path*
Karl: *Turns left into a parking garage*
Ponies: *Staring at Karl*
Pony 4: He's asleep.
Karl: *Leans on the horn, but that still doesn't wake him up. He lifts his head up, leans it on the window to his left, then turns right to go up*
Pony 7: *In another car, about to move forward until she sees Karl*
Karl: *Turns around, and starts to drive out of the parking garage*
Ponies: Look, he's coming back.
Karl: *Turns left after exiting the parking garage*
Garbage Ponies: *Accidentally spill garbage on the road*
Karl: *Swerves left to avoid the garbage, then gets on the right side of the road*
A corvette was slowing down in front of him to stop at a intersection.
Karl: *Passes the Corvette*
Ponies: *Stop to avoid hitting Karl*
Karl: *Slowly opening his eyes, but closes them again staying asleep. He starts going up a hill*
Pony 18: *Driving a truck towing a flat trailer carrying boxes that contain air conditioners*
Karl: *Having a dream, and honks the horn twice* Get outta the way, and learn how to drive.
Pony 18: *Hears Karl honking his horn, and moves out of the way*
Karl: *Passes the truck, then goes downhill*
Police Pony: *Sees Karl pass him* That guy's asleep behind the wheel! *Follows him, and turns on his siren*
Karl: *Goes into a racing stadium*
Racing Ponies: *Racing around a figure 8. They are on the 100th lap, and won't stop until they hit 300 laps, or when all cars are destroyed*
Racing Pony 53: *Crashes into another car, and drives off the track*
Racing Pony 0593: *Pushes another racer off the track*
Karl: *Drives his car onto the track, and passes a few race cars*
Racers: *Crash into each other to avoid hitting Karl's car*
Another race car crashed into the wall, making this noise for five seconds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M94wEGtA7-s
Karl: *Drives around the track, then turns off, and heads for the exit*
Police Pony: *Waiting for Karl at the entrance*
Karl: *Passes the police pony. The left front tire hits a rock, and the car is close to flipping over, but leans all of the way to the right*
Police Pony: *Staring at Karl, and continues to chase him*
Karl: *Having another dream as he goes up the hill again* No Leslie, you can't drive. I'm better at it then you are.
Pony 90: *Sees Karl driving his car on two wheels, gets scared, and spins out of control in his Desoto. He hits another car*
Pony 87: *Goes down an embankment, and crashes into a boulder*
Police Pony: *Stops to see if everyone is okay*
Karl: *Passing a Cadillac, nearly getting the left side on the car*
Cadillac Pony: *Stops*
Karl: *Goes down the hill*
Ponies: *Looking at Karl's car*
Karl: *Gets the left side of his car down, and slowly wakes up* Where am I? What happened? *Stops*
Pony: Sir, are you okay?!
Karl: Yeah, where am I?
Pony: Bakersfield. Are you sure you're okay?!
Karl: Yeah, thanks, you've been a real help. *Drives away*
Pony 35: What was that all about?