Set of hands, who here remembers Road Rash? It was a fun little arcade game where the goal was to race as a motorbike racer against other motorcycle racers to win races and get prize money. You also beat the shit out of your opponents with chains and bats while running over pedestrians and taking out cops. It was insane. Some games have tried to bring that style back, and one of those games was Road Rage. Developed by Team 6 Studios, this little indie game from 2017 was regarded as one of the worst games out there, as recently as 2017. We’re still getting broken trash games that can contend with the pioneering days of gaming for low quality. Well, let’s see just how much rage I can muster with this game…. That was a terrible joke.
Already, the game has framerate issues, and I’m on the logos. You can count the frames per second as the Unreal 4 Engine logo appears on screen. Anyway, we get to the story, civilization has fallen apart as the government locks entire cities inside guarded walls, leaving the citizens trapped inside with violent biker gangs. It’s not a very interesting cutscene, especially with a giant text box that takes up 40% of the screen and the actual text only takes up fifteen of the text box. Then we get to a loading screen that takes, no joke, forty seconds before it finishes. And even then, when you start the game, the textures have to load in for a brief second. Anyway, we get to the gameplay finally, and are greeted with the wonkiest racing game I’ve seen. The bike drives fine… as long as you’re going in a straight line. When it’s time to make sharp turns, it’s like turning a truck rather than a fast motorcycle. But let’s talk about the action. This looked like fun, and boy was it, but for the wrong reasons completely. You have a bat in hand. Press Square to swing left, and Circle to swing right. But that isn’t enough. You gotta make sure you’re at the right angle, cause if you hit the target… I mean, you’ll kill them, for sure, but you’ll send your ass ragdolling into the stratosphere before you respawn. It’s hilarious how this bat has so much force that it completely annihilates your opponent and sends you flying a mile away. And after I beat the easy mission, the loading screen suddenly takes a split second and I’m crashing into a wall, or I thought I would, but instead, I glitch through it and go out of bounds. And this is in the first five minutes. I’ve never had this much to say about these games thus far on this mini series and yet Road Rage is the gift that keeps on giving. Also, for a supposed crime ridden hellscape, this place isn’t… the worst. Yeah, it’s gross, but that’s just regular Detroit.
Apparently that glitch was government property because now the police are on my tail, and if you thought the cops in GTA V were aggressive, holy shit, these cops don’t let up. They will run your ass down, even when you respawn. They will kill you just for stepping out of line, rather than the cops in GTA doing so because your a minority… wait, which is worse? Anyway, for shits and giggles, I decided to hit a pedestrian, and holy shit, the animation is so bad, but watching those people fly is so much fun. I kinda wish the hit boxes were better because I could have so much fun knocking around people with a bat on a motorcycle. It was fun in Saints Row 2, but here it’s…. Also fun, but for the wrong reasons. So I get to the mission, but if you want to start the mission, you gotta come to a complete stop and select it. If you are going too fast, it won’t start, and you will probably crash into a wall, and that’s if you’re lucky enough not to glitch into it. And I mean a dead stop. Even slow crawl won’t due. Anyway, second mission. It’s here I realize just how stiff our main character’s movement is. He just kinda squats there like fucking ape. Come on, man, that’s bad for your posture. Also, when there are no enemies to fight, the world is pretty barren. Aside from the pedestrians, there’s not much to do during time trials. It’s not that hard as long as the game world doesn’t glitch out. Just don’t crash and you win. Also, to get a new mission, you gotta pick up your cellphone. By accident, I hit the attack button which cancelled out the phonecall, but it comes back up regardless. So you have no choice, you gotta pick up that phone. Why not just start the next scene with the phone call? Eventually I just said fuck it and hit the boosters on my bike. I pushed it to the max to see just how hard I can crash, and boy did I fucking crash alright. I ended up clipping through the boundaries and flew into the air… Yeah, I think this is the best place to stop.
Wow, Road Rage, what an unpolished mess of a game. That being said, this was very entertaining. It’s pretty bad, but far from frustrating. I love garbage like this. It’s not a good game, far from it, but it is so bad that it’s entertaining in all the right ways. Every single glitch that sends your ass flying is so hilarious and with the rather dumb story and glitchy world, it makes these so much better. I wonder just how many more glitches I can find from playing. Do I recommend Road Rage? No… unless you’re super drunk or with friends, than it’s a solid 10/10.