Riding the Banana Boat




The sun was high in the sky. Five cats were travelling drowsily down a mountain towards the setting sun.

A ginger she-cat groaned. "I wanna go home!"

"We're on our way home, Squirrelpaw," a dark tabby tom murmured, pressing against her. "Then you'll see ThunderClan again."

"If the Clans are even there," a gray-black tom growled.

The tortoiseshell she-cat whispered in the tabby tom's ear. "He's still upset because of Feathertail's death, Brambleclaw. Don't pay the least attention to his side comments."

"Tawnypelt, we can all admit we're tired."

"My pads hurt!" Squirrelpaw meowed.

"Keep moving!" the gray-black tom yowled. "We'll get home faster!"

A dark gray tom rolled his eyes. "Keep your fur on, Crowpaw!"

"It was never off!" Crowpaw retorted. "And nobody asked you, Stormfur!"

The five cats continued to travel in silence. Meanwhile, StarClan looked down on the five cats.

"This is boring!" Swiftpaw groaned.

"This is supposed to be boring!" Lionheart growled.

"I wanna have some fun!"

Oakheart flipped through the tracks on his iPad, turning on the surround sound.

"Oakheart..."

"Don't tell Crookedstar!" he pleaded. "I just want to have some fun with these squares."

Swiftpaw was confused. "What are 'squares'?"

He shrugged. "Dunno."

Oakheart flipped through the Beetlejuice soundtrack. Then, one song caught his attention.

"Banana Boat anyone?" he purred.

The three toms sniggered evilly.

"Let's do it," Lionheart agreed.

"It's a perfect number for this particular situation," Swiftpaw chuckled.

"With these speakers, the cats will sing along to the song," Oakheart explained, smiling. "This should be fun. Who should be the lead singer?"

Swiftpaw immediately pointed at one of them as they walked.

"Then this should be interesting...."


The cats continued down the mountain, not knowing what the StarClan cats were planning. Then all of a sudden, they all felt strange. They continued walking. Squirrelpaw opened her jaws to exclaim, "What's happening?" but the song played over what she was supposed to say, and she sang:

"Day-o! Day-ay-ay-o!"

All the other cats looked at her funny. Squirrelpaw had a confused expression.

Squirrelpaw: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

The other cats were still VERY confused.

Squirrelpaw: Day! Me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day-ay-ay-o

The Brambleclaw opened his jaws to say, "Squirrelpaw, what are you doing?" but his voice, like Squirrelpaw's was then altered as he sang:

"Daylight come and me wan' go home."

Squirrelpaw: Work all night on a drink a' rum!

Stormfur was about to open his mouth to ask, "What is rum?" but he sang, along with Crowpaw, Tawnypelt and Brambleclaw:

"Daylight come and me wan' go home."

Tawnypelt opened her mouth to say something, but she sang:

"Stack banana 'til the morning come!"

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Crowpaw opened his jaws to exclaim, "Are we all going mad?!" but he instead sang:

"Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana."

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Tawnypelt: Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana.

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

All but Squirrelpaw: It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot, BUNCH!

All: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

All but Brambleclaw: Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, BUNCH!

All: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Squirrelpaw: Day! Me say day-ay-ay-o.

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home

Squirrelpaw: Day! Me say day, me say day, me say day!

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Stormfur: A beautiful bunch a'ripe banana!

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Tawnypelt: Hide the deadly black tarantula!

What's a tarantula? she then thought in her mind as the others sang:

"Daylight come and me wan' go home."

All but Tawnypelt: Lift six foot, seven foot, eight foot, BUNCH!

All: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

All but Crowpaw: Six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!

All: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Squirrelpaw: Day! Me say day-ay-ay-o!

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Squirrelpaw: Day! Me say day, me say day, me say day.

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Brambleclaw: Come, Mister tally man. Tally me banana.

What the **** are bananas?!?! they all screamed in their heads as the they sang:

"Daylight come and me wan' go home."

Crowpaw: Come, Mister tally man. Tally me banana.

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

The song was coming to an end...

Squirrelpaw: Day-o! Day-ay-ay-o!

Others: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

Squirrelpaw: Day! Me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day-ay-ay-o.

All: Daylight come and me wan' go home.

As the song ended, they all decided not to discuss what had just happened. They continued to head back to the destructing forest.

Meanwhile, Swiftpaw, Lionblaze, and Oakheart were guffawing in StarClan.

"They sounded so rediculous!!" Lionheart cackled.

"That was the best ever!" Swiftpaw purred. "It was so much better than when Yellowfang spiked the punch with Amp!"

Oakheart stopped laughing. He had recalled the day he had the spiked Amp punch. His eyes narrowed, and he stared at Swiftpaw.

"What?" he meowed. "I didn't do it! Yellowfang did it!"

Oakheart then had an evil smile. "Then I'll just do something for revenge...."

The camera then zoomed up on his face as he chuckled evilly. But, the camera then got too close. It hit Oakheart upon his awesome brow, and he fell over, out cold.

Then the cameraman dropped the camera down on the ground hard, running away.

Swiftpaw craned his body down to get his face into the camera. "How do you turn this off, Lionheart?"

The golden tom shrugged. "Maybe if we wait for MeerkatManorFan to finish this chapter, it'll gradually fade to black."

"Why do you call her MeerkatManorFan?" Swiftpaw retorted. "You should call her by her Clan name, Lilysong!"

"I don't wanna!"

"IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZER!!!!"

Lionheart's eyes widened, the whites showing around them. He realized that the booming voice was meant to talk to him.

He gasped. "Oh, shi--"

Then the screen becomes all snowy, and gradually fades to black.