Writing Help And Criticism Article: Note from 3nala

posted by 3nala

Hey guys,

Hope you enjoy the safe haven I set up for us! Make lots of friends and have fun sharing stories or fanfic! This is the ultimate writing club!Listen,spread word if you can. This club will be the best in history! The link is posted below. Post it on other writing clubs or other sites INVOLVING WRITERS (we're not spammers). This will be a writer's heaven, where they can express their feelings or share stories. Give all your writing friends a big welcome! Welcome them to this club, and nobody, NOBODY, will regret it.

Sincerely,
3nala,creator,owner, and sincere member of this club.

3nala URL for Writing Help And Criticism: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/writing-help-and-criticism

I don't know what to call this but it's the prologue of my new story :)

posted by Weasel1999

Prologue

The sun is just minutes from rising and the night is growing lighter. An alter made entirely of blue marble, jade, and amethyst is illuminated. Two tiny babies lie on top writhing and screaming in discomfort. They are naked, only a few days old and the chill of the stone slowly seeping into their bones will surely kill them. The larger of the two will not stop screaming while her twin just sobs quietly.
Their frail mother stands a few feet away determined to finish what she came here to do but her eyes are bloodshot and red raw from her constant tears. But she is not alone. Her husband...

100 rooms ch 4

posted by Weasel1999

IV The Bathroom
Ember had been wandering aimlessly around the endless corridors and baffling twists and turns when she saw how dark it was getting outside. She would have checked her watch if she had one, but she didn’t so she hazarded a guess at it being about 10, 11 o’clock. She was exhausted and needed to find somewhere to sleep.
But first she wanted to take a shower. She hadn’t washed since she arrived at the mansion and it showed. Her soft skin which was normally a delicate pale porcelain was now covered with a light layer of grime.
She had changed a lot since the fire. Her hair...

100 Rooms Ch 3 tell me what you think plz!

posted by Weasel1999

III The Library
The next room Ember visited was to her a Heaven on Earth. An enormous room just for holding books! The ceiling was so high it would have taken ten of her standing on top of one another the reach it. The shelves and shelves of books were piled right up to the top and there were several ladders placed conveniently so that she could reach the topmost books.
Ember walked round the room as though she were in a dream. She loved reading and devoured every book she found but she had never had a whole library full of them to herself. She barely knew where to start. Every square inch of...

100 Rooms ch2 (Please Comment!)

posted by Weasel1999

II The Kitchen.

Unsure where to go Ember dithered in the corridor outside the nursery for almost ten minutes the next morning. But soon the delicious smell of apples and cinnamon reached her nose.
She followed the scent until she reached a large old fashioned kitchen. An old, wooden table, worn and scrubbed filled the middle of the room. It was the biggest kitchen Ember had ever saw. One side of the room was simply all cupboards and drawers of all different shapes and coloured. Ember’s curiosity burned but she was distracted by a large woman wearing an apron. She was taking a steaming apple...

100 Rooms Chapter One

posted by Weasel1999

I. The Nursery

Ember lived in her nursery for the next few months, only being let out occasionally to go to the toilet. All she saw were the four walls around her but it wasn’t all bad.
The room was painted a pretty sky-blue and the carpet was thick, fluffy and a deep midnight blue. There was a bed and a huge white wardrobe with the most beautiful, old-fashioned clothes inside.
Rich velvets cloaks, soft fur stoles, bright silk dresses, every item of clothing needed to make a young lady of society look beautiful.
But Ember was not a young lady of society living in Victorian times. She was a...

Intorduction to my story...good or bad?

posted by TheFan10

Chapter 1

I stared at the last piece of cake in the fridge. It took every bit of my being to close the door of that fridge and walk away. This always happened; every time I stayed at home with nothing to do I took to food to entertain me, which usually meant a lot of self loathing for the days afterwards as I realised how much I eat.
Mum and Dad were gone to an office party and I was left to mind the house, with my older brother Logan, we usually cracked up the karaoke and went wild when left by ourselves but tonight he wasn’t feeling well, which was very unusual, so he went to sleep around...

Ghostly Love

posted by cl411

Myth, fantasy, hallucination: my story has been called all these things. I know that when you read this you will be shocked, awed, and terrified. Just remember, my story is true, fact, and based on real events…
    “Claire,” my mother yelled, practically in my ear, “We need to leave for your therapy session or we will be late, again!” I rolled my eyes like I always do. Mother never thought much of these “stories.” She told my they were just that, just stories.
    Anyway, back to my story. Well, let me start from the beginning.
    “Left,...

the Wolf Man / transformation 1

posted by axemnas

This is a excerpt from some notes in my Novel the Wolf Man an adaptation of Curt Siodmak's 1941 screenplay the Wolf Man. starring Lon Chaney Jr. enjoy,comment, etc.
-------------------------
The sky had begun to turn to dusk and the moon was getting ready to rise.
Béla and Maleva were still heading down the old wagon road heading to their site
Béla is starting to get nervous as the mounting suspense of what will happen on the full moon started to build.
He watched the sky while keeping an eye on the sky his head began to give him a burning sensation a sensation he had never felt before his heart...

the Wolf Man / transformation 2

posted by axemnas

This is a excerpt from some notes in my Novel the Wolf Man which is an adaptation of Curt Siodmak's 1941 screenplay the Wolf Man. starring Lon Chaney Jr.
enjoy,comment, etc.

Traveling for quite a few additional days and nights; finally the time came the time of the full moon arrived our anticipation arise to hit its peak at this point.

The crimson late afternoon sky began to convert to dusk. As we were traveling down along the dirt road. The pale moon was bit by bit rising in to position. Béla nervously kept an angled glance on the sky watching for the moon and the path.

Béla Lugosi...

1

Phantom

posted by bri-marie

Warning:this could be considered inappropriate by someone under thirteen.
--------------------------------------------------

He comes to me in my dreams,
an unnamed, masked Phantom.
He never speaks --
I'm not even sure if he can.

His onyx eyes never stray from me,
nor mine from him.
They constantly pierce me with their darkness,
making my body react in ways never thought possible.
His large, velvety hands never touch another --
His thoughts never wander from me.
I know this, despite the fact that he never speaks.
I know this, though I know not how.

He always wears a cape and mask,
both deepest black and...

RULES OF THE WRITING HELP AND CRITICISM CLUB

posted by 3nala

3nala here,
As it says in the description above (looks up there), I created this club. Please follow the rules so that we get along nicely 8):

1. No bullying ( you all know what that means )
2. Please, no spam ( spam is not writing, it's spam )
3. Cussing is language, so I'll allow it
4. Do whatever you like
5. This isn't really a rule, but if I catch ANYONE breaking the rules I'll apply 2 of the consequences below.

Consequences ( seriously ) :
Minor offense:
1. Lecture posted on offender's wall.
Major offense:
1. Lecture and/or banning from this club.
2. SENT TO THE DUNGEON! ...just kidding 8)

So, have fun and write your heart out. P.S. the Grammar Police aren't allowed here, to shorten spam. But I'd prefer it if you guys kept to how everything is supposed to be spelled.

Sincerely,
Club Owner and Member,
3nala