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Writing Question

Can you give me your opinion on a story plot I've created?

It's a story I'm going to call "Triplet Dimension."

The story revolves around around our protagonist, Lorelei. She can't call herself popular, but she loves setting fashion trends at her school. She lead a normal school life, until she pulls a "down the rabbit hole" bit. But not down a hole... through a mirror.
After her tumble, she discovers a new world, amazing and completely different, a world encased in light. Lorelei soon meets Serenity, and is completely shocked to hear that Serenity IS Lorelei. Serenity explains that she lives as Lorelei in an alternate dimension, a pure world, called Castela Prisima, and that Serenity was created from Lorelei's positive tendencies and memories.
She also discloses that there is another parallel dimension known as Terrora Diablena, the world of darkness, where another from version of Lorelei lives. This version of Lorelei, named Revia, is evil, and wants her world of darkness to be superior. Her master plan is to be rid of all other worlds to make hers the ultimate.
Lorelei and Serenity must do what they can to stop Revia. But can they save their worlds before they're destroyed?

Tell me what you think, I don't mind CONSTRUCTIVE critisism. Thanks!

[Characters below, from left to right: Serenity, Lorelei, Revia]
Can you give me your opinion on a story plot I've created?
 twilightrox43 posted over a year ago
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Writing Answers

Egyptologist said:
I think the story sounds amazing and good... one of the next best things. It also sounds to be in a fantasy world; which is very popular. But what I would say (sorry if you don't agree) is that you would need to explain some more of the background stories of your main characters, like, why is Revia bad? Why does Serenity prefer to be good? What does Revia imagine life like in a world of darkness, and why does she want that other than to have her own dimension? That's my opinion; other than that, it sounds amazing. :D
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posted over a year ago 
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Thank you. And I mostly didn't elaborate on the subject because 1: I didn't want to reveal too much and 2: I didn't want the short beginning plot summary to be too long.
twilightrox43 posted over a year ago
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But the answers I will elaborate on in the story, thank you for the constructive critisism. :3
twilightrox43 posted over a year ago
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Anytime. :D
Egyptologist posted over a year ago
2dolphn97 said:
I would say this sounds very intriguing it sounds like a story I would wanna keep knowing what's gonna happen and be shocked often and go omfg that did not just happen.... Is there a love intrest?
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posted over a year ago 
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