Writing Article: Camp De Luca

1

posted by lindizzle215

hi so im a new writer so please tell me if i should contine writing this story. Please comment!!!!!
Rated: M

Today my brother Joey and I were going to drive down to the family camp that we help with every year and went here when we were kid’s but know were all teenagers so were counselors now. My brother Joey and I drive together every year and all of our other brothers drive up in there own cars or the young ones with the others. There was a new guy this year his name is Eddie. I think that I will like this kid as I get to know him. I don’t have to share a room because I am the only girl counselor. Oh I forgot to tell you that my name is Cameron but every on calls me Cam. After a good night of sleep I was sitting at the beach. When Eddie came and sat down next to me.
“Hi I’m Eddie”
“Hey I’m Cam… nice to meet you.” I replied.
Eddie and I talked all afternoon about each other and Eddie told me his power and why he is here at our camp. His father is Apollo the Greek god of light, medicine and music. His power Is healing like one of mine powers but I use water to heal or hurt. Eddies here because his dad wanted him to train with other of his kind other then his siblings and he is on probation so his probation officer thinks this will be a good camp for him to learn and grow at. We talked about our favorite things, food, colors, friends, family, weapons, past relations and other things.
Then Eddie and I moved closer to each other.
I looked in to his deep chocolate brown eyes thinking I could get lost in them. When he kissed me, we were all over each other then I remembered that we were on the beach. I got up quickly and grabbed Eddie's hand and we ran to my room where we both knew that no one would be but us. I unlocked the door and kissed Eddie. While we were kissing we moved to my bed and I was taking my top off but Eddie stopped me and told me no. But I didn’t get it so I asked him if he wanted to take my shirt off but again I got a “no”. Eddie said “Lets just keep doing this before we go and do anything that we regrette.” and I agreed with him I mean I didn’t really know him for that long. So we had a huge make out session.
“Its time for dinner Cam” Eddie said
“ok” I said
So we walked to dinner together hand in hand. When we walked in the dining hall everyone was watching us, and I mean WATCHING US. All the boys were so pissed and coinciding most of them were my family we were in deep shit. The looks on my brother’s faces could kill. And all the girls looked they wanted to eat my head for dinner. And I gave my brothers and cousins a look that said “be nice or I swear you will not be getting any this summer”. So we walked over and sat down and they were all very nice to Eddie. (Thank god)
Eddie went back to his room to get some clothes because he was staying with me tonight. I was sitting in my room thinking about how hot Eddie was, his hot six pack, the whole v thing going on down there, (god that’s a turn on) his sexy dirty blond hair. Then the devil himself walked in, in his swim suit (which looked way to hot).
E: “Hey baby”
L: “Hi babe”
E: “Midnight swim?”
L: “With you of course”
I got changed in to my Black bathing suit with the piece signs on it, and went out to meet Eddie on the Beach. He was already in the water so I went behind him and grabbed his leg. It scarred the shit out of him hehe. Eddie turned and grabbed me and planted a light kiss on my lips, which of course turned out to become a passionate kiss and when we pulled a part Eddie had my top off. I had my legs wrapped around his waist so I felt the bulge in his shorts. But I was to distracted sucking and nibbling on his neck to notice that Eddie was carry me to my room. Eddie opened the door and layed me on the bed, and kissed me. I reached down and slid my hand down his shorts with out breaking the kiss. Eddie groaned in my mouth as my hand slid up and down his shaft, he untied one side of my bottoms. Right as he was getting ready to untie the other side of my bottoms…………….

Cam's Biniki top

cam's Biniki bottom

Eddie's boardshorts

house_of_nightx likes this

lindizzle215 please comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

genyva its was good, im going to Critique it tho, as a friend you know i only want the best fo your writing career so i will start with SLOW DOWN. you can stretch that out to like 5 pages no problem it was jumpy, just slow it down a bit, if you dont want much dialogue add thoughts, like have Cam watching his lips when they talk and have her thinking souly on kissing them. and i see that there is greek mythology, be sure to fully explain what things mean, not everyone could understand what Apollo is, i mean u gave a quicky on him, give it more opening paragraph love, like discribe what camp, discribe her brothers, description is key, it doesn't even have to be the " he shook his dripping wet hair creating shard-like clumps that fell just over his oceanic blue eyes." that's a bit complex. something like , "he ran his finger through his hair causing it to fall back into his eyes" is short but i know whats going on better, do you understand? also because i have a adult book tho no one has read that, slow down, again your rushing into thing. describe the kiss,"i pressed my lips to his, his tongue touched mine and it was like Hellfire in my mouth, i had kissed boys but nothing this amazing. i wrapped my legs around him and continued to kiss. his tongue was tracing the inside of my lips and he gently bit my lips i smiled and bit at his tongue he laid back and ran his hands up and down my waist and around to my bottom." you know something more detailed like that. that the only Critique i really have other wise i really liked it i LOVE that bathing suit, its really cute :) you did really good for your first story, i how i wasn't" to harsh xoxo ~G♥

lindizzle215 ok thanks so much I know what you mean thanks. I will try to do that. It means alot to me about your critique. The Greek Gods thing was because I just watch Percy Jackson today and loves it so i'm going to try to learn more about the Greek Gods.

house_of_nightx this is ok keep writing

lindizzle215 Thanks I've been working on fixing everything and making it longer

The Last Myth book four: Never Ending Journy Chapter Two: Saying Goodbye

posted by misscrazel

Senfinelin Forest

Aznr ran down the hill to the edge of the cliff. fallen trees scattered the ground and there was no sign of life. Aznr's hair blew back in the wind and memories of the past filled his head...

*Flashback*

Aznr heard a scream that rang through the forest.
Airellion! he thought, immediately recognizing his voice.
'Aznr! LightWater!' he heard the scream again.
This time he ran through the forest towards him. Aznr burst into the clearing and saw Airellion. He had an arrow in his throat and one in his arm. He was surrounded by an army of goblins, all heavily armed.
'Airellion!' called Aznr.
Aznr raised...

2

Dovewing & Tigerheart & Bumblestripe & Ivypool Part 2 Never Ending Relationships

posted by croge92

Ivypool PVO☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Ivypool padded beside Toadstep outside the camp. It was a full moon night and Toadstep and Ivypool were chosen to go... They had just been out hunting with Dovewing, Lionblaze and Cinderheart. Ivypool and Toadstep had found all of the mice nest and brang in tons of prey for the Clan. Seeing as it was leaf-fall everybody praised her and Toadstep for catching so much prey.
Squirrelflight was purring and eating prey with Leafpool who was now another medicine cat again Ivypool noticed they were so close as she walked out...

1

Nightfall #1:(COMPLETE REWRITE) Chapter Seven

posted by adamk

CHAPTER SEVEN:
I return to my apartment, and turn off the police radio, which is only reporting the incident I was involved with earlier that night. I suddenly feel tired once again, and this shocks me. As I lay back on the couch, I continue thinking of Pike, and my first night of being a vampire.
CRYSTAL FALLS: 1850
I hesitate, and then follow Perry outside. Only moments ago, I found myself full of anger, yet at the same time, worry, although not for my own sake, but for my father’s, who is still asleep in the other room. For some odd reason, I am in pain, not from my wound, which has disappeared...

1

Dont Say Goddbye

posted by ejenk1025

Chapter 3

So. It's the weekend and I have nothing to do. Im still stuck on why Lucas didn't kiss me. Is there something wrong with me? (Laughs) Who am I kidding? I'm Brooke Davis. Nothing's wrong with me. EXCEPT LUCAS WONT KISS ME! To dramatic? Yeah... I know. Anyway, I guess i'll go to Peyton's house. Hang out there or something.

"Hey." said Peyton
"Hey."
"I'm glad you came over. I was bored as hell." said Peyton
"Where's Nathan?
"In his room. Playing wideo games with one of his friends I guess." said Peyton

As I walk into Nathan's room to say "Hi" I notice the most shockingly thing ever!

"Lucas?"...

French Roulette: The Tale Of Two Brothers

posted by IchigoShirosaki

This is A story of tragic, betrayal, and romance blooms through a time of desperate and dark times. This story has no relation to any actual historical events, and anything depicted in this story is not true and did not take place in actual French history. This story was made for entertainment purposes, and only a name of a few locations actually exists.

In the late 1800s, Alchemy was a major part of European Culture, but was prohibited by the Church, for Alchemic teachings went against God’s teachings and the Catholic beliefs. In a Small town off the borderlines of Paris France, a middle...

Hunter-gatherers and Subsistence Societies

posted by ZekiYuro

Very few people in the modern world obtain their food supply by hunting and gathering in the natural environment surrounding their homes.This method of harvesting from nature's provision is the oldest known subsistence strategy and has been pratised for at least 2 million years.It was,indeed,the only way to obtain food until rudimentary farming and the domestication of wild animals were introduced about 10 000 years ago.

Because hunter-gatherers have fared poorly in comparison with their agricultural cousins,their numbers have dwindled,and they have been forced to live in marginal environments,such...

The 7th Grade Guide: A True Story and Guide on How to Survive 7th grade- Part 3

posted by Poppygirl9904

sorry guys i haven't been writing once again i am very busy so i have not had a chance to write but i will finish soo i can start the 8th grade guide which i will update hopefully....but i will start now.

So school has started and so far so good.The first days we talk about rules and expectations they have. But after that week is over they just kinda start with stuff. The first few weeks of 7th grade were good we voted for school officers, and of course Cassie won vice president(she was the only one running). You see Cassie is a "Triple P." She's Pretty, Popular, and Peppy. She is a Pom, she...

Home Alone chapter 3

posted by ZekiYuro

Immediately,Yurin decided to make a list,called:"How to punish stupid Kai for forgeting Yurin Hasana's birthday"
1.Divorce,oh no no.Yurin won't let him "fall in love" with his work conveniently.
2.Beat him when he goes home,and let him suffer all the anger of his wife.
3.Throw him away from the bed room,let him sleep with the sofa for a long long time.
4.Try not to eat the food he cooks.
5.Eat outside with Akira in mornings and afternoons and evenings(Kai never wants me to eat outside,haha)
And Yurin wrote more and more happily....until a parcel was sent to her.
-Ah,Akira and Karen's gifts,Yahooooooooo!!!!...

Home Alone chapter 2

posted by ZekiYuro

On the first days,everything went alright.Kai phoned her every time and every where.He talked to her so much that she felt he was still at home.But sometimes she talked to him,and just realized that he was absent when she received no answers.
But until today,it was completely terrible.Yurin was bored,Kai had been going abroad for 1 week,and in her dictionary "1 week" didn't mean"a few days".No food any more in the fridge,dirty clothes was full in the washing machine....and so many unconvenient things happened.Kai didn't phone her too.Despite of not wanting to say it,but Yurin had to admit that...

The Deadly Bathroom Break (a short story {realistic fiction})

posted by Rae-Ash

There’s nothing I hate more than being trapped, but that’s exactly what I am. All because of my stupid, small bladder, I just had to go to the bathroom. So I went into the bank to use theirs, because nothing could go wrong, right?

Wrong, which is just my luck. Just as I leave the bathroom a group of guys decide to rob the bank. Just peachy. One of the guys yells at us to get down on the ground and we obey. Then he tells us to give him our phones. Oops. I accidentally left mine in my purse in the bathroom. When he gets to me I tell him this, he’s not really happy about this. Now he’s...

The other side of the poem I wrote about a friend whos parents are divorced.

posted by AuthorForPooh

I know what happened,
I know that your parents are divorced,
because I was the first
you told.
I want to help you,
but I don't know
what all that
pressure
and sorrow feels like.
Like you're drowning
in a pool of tears
and your friends
are just watching and
laughing,
like it's a joke.
But it's not a joke,
it's your life.
They aren't even
your friends,
they are just people
who say they earned
that title.
I don't understand.
My parents aren't
divorced,
they don't fight
every time when
they see each
others face.
I can't help.
But you're
my friend.
My best
friend.
And I will
try to help.
I will stand by
your side even when
we are miles away.
Because even though
it might not feel like it,
you are never
alone.

A chapter of my story: Jason's Madhouse - a Silent Hill fan fiction

posted by Bond_Of_Fury

Chapter six: Jason’s Madhouse

Jason found himself on the inside of a long, grey colored hallway. He finally found Robbie the Rabbit plushy back. It was odd. It looked like a crimson-red aura emanated from the walls, which caused a ghastly atmosphere. Jason held his plushy as if he was strangling it, and walked slowly, feet by feet, towards the end of the hallway. After every footstep there were moaning sounds to be heard. At the end of the hallway he saw a dusty, worn-out door. Focusing on the door, he walked towards it.

Jason reached towards the wooden doorknob slowly. He tapped the doorknob...

The Hailey Potter Series: What to Expect

posted by dragonsmemory

So, in anticipation of the official release of my Harry Potter fanfic, I've decided to post my hopes for the entires series. It's a little over two monthsuntil the release, folks. I hope to see you all in the discussion.

IN THE BACKGROUND
Hailey Jane Potter usually doesn't mind being the sister of the Boy Who Lived. But when the most evil Dark wizard in Britain threatens what remains of her family, she has to fight back. This is the story of Hailey's seven years at Hogwarts.

SPOTLIGHT
With the Second Wizarding War over, it's time to pick up and move on. Some things havechhanged, but others stay...

2

Swallowed by Darkness (sorry. the name still needs some work)

posted by Castalinia

Chapter 1
Boredom

Thantos was sitting on his bed, continuously throwing and catching his blue foam ball, with his headphones in his ears and music playing too loud and combing his medium length black hair out of his bright abnormally coloured eyes.
    “This is so pointless. I need something better to do,” he said, scratching his extremely pale skin.
    Thantos paused his IPod to hear a scream and girls laughing.
    “What the- what was that about?” He asked himself, getting up from his bed and walking to his door.
    “I’ll...

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Darkness Locked Into the Heart: Chapter Three, HWSNBN (Who- Shh- Bin)

posted by InvadaMiz

Meggan slapped herself.
"Get yourself together!"She told herself.Kylie came in, Kylie is Meggan's cat.She's only a kitten but has all her colors.She is black with white stripes.
"Oh, hi Kylie."Meggan said.She got out of bed and went into the bathroom.About ten minutes later she got out of the shower, put her clothes back on, and lied down next to Kylie.Kylie purred and rolled over next to her.Meggan petted her, she smiled at the feeling of Kylie's soft, fluffy, fur.Meggan felt a strange presence.She looked at the side of her bed, and saw Kylie, she looked at the cat she was petting, it had glowing...

1

The untold reality ( part 1)

posted by r260897

( Hi I am here with another story. In this where ever is ‘I’ please consider yourself there )
Mei was busy with her laptop, Tia and Rocket were sitting in a corner D’jok and Thank were enjoying funny performance of Micro Ice. Ahito was sleeping and I was sitting in one corner waiting for Sinned. There was a loud sound coming from another room. Arch was scolding Sinned for his deeds he did in match. When he came he was a bit angry but when I went there he looked with his caring eyes and said “hey l’ll sis I’ll come to take you. Till then live here coz my life is kinda unsettled…”...

Bare Bones chapter 3 part 1

posted by Lore_Master

"Wha.... how could they have found out?" the hero thought to himself staring with a dead expression on his face, they heard a knock on the door "Are you okay?" asked the girl getting up to check the door, the hero sat there frozen in fear only hearing a faint voice "Boy listen to me... I know we haven't gotten off on the right foot but if you don't escape we will both be captured so move boy!" said the voice in his head, the hero couldn't believe what he was hearing was it the demon with-in him asking nicely? the hero shook his head in confusion "Why should I listen to you? you're trying to...

1

Bare Bones chapter 2 part 3

posted by Lore_Master

These side affects were takeing a toll on the hero gradually wearing him down, the doctor took the hero in as his own careing for him and makeing sure he was brought up well, "Two year's have passed since that night." the hero thought to himself as he got up out of bed to start what seemed like a normal summer day "Boy where are you it's time to start work!" excalimed the old man as he knocked on his door "Eh... I hate mornings." said the hero as he got up out of bed getting dressed to start another day. With the sun bareing down on them it seemed as if hell had found it's way to Siege "Are...

3

Bare Bone's chapter 1 part 1

posted by Lore_Master

Our story start's out the Ilse of Siege a tranquil world with eastern sea's inhabited by small village's filled with tiny rabbit like creature's with the sea being so calm and so clear you could see straight to the bottom of it's depth's and skies being so blue, so bright that it would bring tear's to you're eye's, to the western desert's so dry it would shrivel anything that would dare enter it's trecherous sand's leaveing only one race that could inhabit it's deadly region being as slinder as a snake they tend to make their house's under large rock's some time's so many gather together they...

1

In The Eyes Of Death: Chapter 3

posted by wolfclan121

The best part of being a mother is you always know if something's wrong with your children. Even in death. Jannet was in trouble, but I don't know what with. Well, she has been hanging out with this boy, David. Strange boy, It's as if he can see me! When I watch them he stares at me with his cold, blue eyes. His eyes. They see things. See things others can't. Wittiness things others can't handle. Wittiness things from others nightmares. I fear for him. I fear for Jannet. Then, on that faithful Summer's day. I saw something. He saw something. No, please Jannet, no!