***Yay next chapter of 'xPinkx' on www.fanfiction.net***I Love this story she writes it sooooo good :) I definatly enjoyed reading it and i hope you do too***
It was the 23rd of March, 1949, not that dates really mattered except to keep up the human charade, and we were staying at a small building called Whistler's Lodge.
We didn't really need to stay indoors but it provided a change of scenery. Well, if you could call four bland and dirty walls 'scenery'.
But also, I didn't want Jasper to stay away from humans for too long. Although initially it had helped to avoid them, the temptation after an absence from their presence was harder to resist. It wouldn't help every time we re-entered civilisation if he had become too desensitized. But, I had looked ahead. There would be no danger.
Jasper was playing cards with the other men downstairs, winning money, probably losing some just for show. Not that they were betting with a lot of money, they were only travellers. But, it was good to mingle…not to give people a reason to talk.
Of course, I could have told Jasper exactly how to play with my foresight, but where was the fun in that? He could play on his own merits, just by tasting the atmosphere…or by dissecting minute changes in facial expressions, smelling increased activity of sweat glands indicating nervousness, etcetera. Even a vampire without heightened powers would hold the trump.
I was currently sat on tiny bed whose broken springs sagged under my weight. We had taken the only room left available which had one single bed.
Picking my travelling bag up from the floor, I tipped its contents into the sunken depression in the middle of the bed. I had a range of clothes ranging from fashionable and expensive to simple travelling clothes, so we could fit in where ever we went. With my talent, it was easy to make a little money into a lot.
I examined closely the stitching of a beautifully tailored dress I had laid across my lap as I ran the soft fabric through my fingers, watching its drape cascading like a waterfall. Although my heightened nerves could pick up every stitch of the smooth satin, I imagined this somehow made it feel rougher than it would to human fingers.
I had an illogical fascination with clothing. Not that it mattered what I wore, but I still liked admiring it, in its own right. I wondered what occupation I would have, if…well if I was human, I suppose. Would I be a dressmaker, perhaps? A custom tailor? Probably not, but when should imagination ever be reined in when it can touch the unachievable? I would always have involved and passionate about my work, aspiring to rise up and outdo myself. It was a mode of expressing personality through colour and design, an extension to the human form, utter embodiment of beauty and style.
I giggled at my own absurdity. It was like a forgotten dream, cut straight out of the pages of Vogue. No harm in wondering though, I suppose. But of course, I can't possibly know who I was as a human, seem as I have no memory of that other life.
Of course I knew why I felt this way, partly because clothes were often designed to enhance the human form. Well I was perfect, physically and perfection gets boring after a while. A very short while. No matter what I wore, people would always be drawn to my inhuman face before anything else they noticed. But I wanted –almost subconsciously– to act human. To feel human. To be ever growing changing, filled with new tastes and desires. Of course now I would be able to make clothes with minute accuracy and precision, sew tiny details and embroider intricate designs without a stitch out of place with my keen vision, as long I focused on not crushing the needle. But where is the challenge if it comes so easily?
I thought then of my sister. Well, my future sister; I had seen her in more of my visions. The golden-blonde beauty. She would always dress impeccably, but it would be a granted rather than an interest or delight to her. I felt my expression go tender with the thoughts of mine and Jasper's future family.
In some vague way my thoughts meandered to the next decade. I had seen snatches of it, although I could not see much further than what would affect me The teenage culture phenomena would begin, although I was passing for twenty or over at the moment so I wouldn't need to become a part of that facade. The consumer society would reinvent itself; people would seek to buy luxuries over necessities. I could see myself with Jasper in tow, willing to go along with whatever I wanted but not missing the chance to roll his eyes at me. I felt like it was some channel connecting me to the human world. A world that was constantly changing. It would also be a decade of war. I was glad Jasper would not be fighting anymore, in any kind of war.
Bringing myself back to the present moment, I glanced around briefly for something to do. I could go and mingle with some of the other women, perhaps. I was sure my hair would stand out amongst theirs; the style at the moment was to be worn above one's head and my hair was to short for that. Although, I didn't suppose that would matter too much in a place like this.
Moving from my sitting position I let the fabric slip from my fingers as I lay back on the bed in the dark. There was no real need to turn the light on. Everything was defined to my eyes as clear as day. Hmm…I could try and look ahead to the Cullen's once again. I would try and find out the name of the blonde girl, by listening to snatches of future conversation.
I closed my eyes.
Almost instantaneously I felt the sensation of movement, the sound of air whooshing past loudly inside my head. Although I could feel I was sitting on the bed, the scene around me had changed. There was a lot of darkness. Inky black darkness painted by my mind that it would not let me penetrate with my eyes.
Jasper's eyes glowing red with the crumpled body of a human victim laid next to him on the ground…
A drip of blood…
Jasper's hands covering each side of his face as if clawing himself in anguish, rocking back and forth, at what he'd done, but still it cut to another victim…and another…
A massacre.
This was not occurring now, but it would happen soon. In the next few weeks maybe. I snapped out of the vision and wrenched my eyes open, trying to quench shock and rising panic. Jasper would feel it from where he was, and he would come straight up.
And now I'd have to tell him of the homicide I'd seen him committing, see the horror on his face. No. This would be one vision that would not come true. But still I remembered at the beginning, when his thirst had built until it was unbearable.
My eyes fell now out of focus, staring straight through the stone wall in front of me. As well as horrific my vision had been…unusual. Normally they were like a real life scene, and in would watch as if looking through a window, but this one had been more like…a play, performed for me, in the front row seat. More dramatic and theatrical. I bit my lip. Why would that be? I didn't like not being able to fully understand my power. Was it because my emotions were affecting my vision? After all, I had never been in this exact situation where I had had such a significant vision about someone I cared about so much.
Then, my head snapped up, and my dark pupils focused instantly. I had been too slow, and he had been too quick. Within a few seconds, the light from the crack in the door way flared up and I could see Jasper's worried eyes watching my face and feel his calming presence. He sat on the edge of the bed, his hand resting on the indent of my waist.
'Don't sedate me Jasper' I mumbled, a frustrated edge to my tone. It was frustration at myself.
'I'm sorry. It's for my self almost as much as for you. I find it hard to take when you feel this way.'
'How did you excuse yourself from those men? I asked, my tone light. 'What reason did you give?'
He ignored that, and watched me with a frown.
'I'm fine' I said, although he had said nothing.
'Alice…' he replied, his tone a soft plea.
I sat up, appraising his face and decided I had to tell him the truth.
'I saw you' I murmured, '…Murdering people. About a dozen in a few weeks time, maybe more that I haven't seen yet. It was terrible to watch. But you're pain after each time… I could feel it.'
The reaction in his eyes hit me like a force; he stared at me in frozen horror. I knew how much faith he put in my visions.
'It might not happen.' I whispered.
'It won't' he vowed. 'I promise you now it won't.' The emotion of vehement denial was intense in his voice.
But then his voice faltered 'You doubt me' he whispered, sorrowful. 'I can feel it.'
It hurt me to see the pain on his face. 'No, I believe you. I have far more faith in you than what goes on in my own head.' I managed a smile.
'I know. It's more than I deserve. I need to prove that I can be worthy of you.'
I snorted. 'You? Worthy of me? And here all this time I've been wondering what angel I was in my previous life to deserve you.'
Jasper POV
I had a dream, which was not all a dream. The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars did wander darkling in the eternal space…
'Darkness' by Lord Bryon
Alice had several visions that night. Each time her long slender eyebrows knitted together and she looked up at me with doleful eyes, unwilling to tell me their harrowing content.
I walked out from those claustrophobic walls into the bathroom, to an old and filthy gilded mirror was lying in the corner, amongst other junk. I stared into my reflection, watching my own expression warily and hating what I saw there.
Then in a sudden reflex I smashed it with my tightly balled fist. I wished so much then that my hand could bleed, so that I could feel the pain and find some release for my anger and self hatred. The agony of my feelings allowed me no respite for I knew that to give in, receive the gratification of my darkest wishes would be a serpent that would sting me with the regret.
I felt Alice come in behind me and wrap her arms around me from behind. Now I could see her reflection the in the mirror, broken alongside mine in the smashed glass.
I had broken her too because of the cruel selfish monster I was.
I turned away from it in disgust, and rested my head against the wall I laced my hand through hers, laying our entwined hands over my dormant heart and clutching helplessly at the fabric of my clothing. I didn't know what was coming, but I would not let her down. Not this time.
Not ever again.
It was the 23rd of March, 1949, not that dates really mattered except to keep up the human charade, and we were staying at a small building called Whistler's Lodge.
We didn't really need to stay indoors but it provided a change of scenery. Well, if you could call four bland and dirty walls 'scenery'.
But also, I didn't want Jasper to stay away from humans for too long. Although initially it had helped to avoid them, the temptation after an absence from their presence was harder to resist. It wouldn't help every time we re-entered civilisation if he had become too desensitized. But, I had looked ahead. There would be no danger.
Jasper was playing cards with the other men downstairs, winning money, probably losing some just for show. Not that they were betting with a lot of money, they were only travellers. But, it was good to mingle…not to give people a reason to talk.
Of course, I could have told Jasper exactly how to play with my foresight, but where was the fun in that? He could play on his own merits, just by tasting the atmosphere…or by dissecting minute changes in facial expressions, smelling increased activity of sweat glands indicating nervousness, etcetera. Even a vampire without heightened powers would hold the trump.
I was currently sat on tiny bed whose broken springs sagged under my weight. We had taken the only room left available which had one single bed.
Picking my travelling bag up from the floor, I tipped its contents into the sunken depression in the middle of the bed. I had a range of clothes ranging from fashionable and expensive to simple travelling clothes, so we could fit in where ever we went. With my talent, it was easy to make a little money into a lot.
I examined closely the stitching of a beautifully tailored dress I had laid across my lap as I ran the soft fabric through my fingers, watching its drape cascading like a waterfall. Although my heightened nerves could pick up every stitch of the smooth satin, I imagined this somehow made it feel rougher than it would to human fingers.
I had an illogical fascination with clothing. Not that it mattered what I wore, but I still liked admiring it, in its own right. I wondered what occupation I would have, if…well if I was human, I suppose. Would I be a dressmaker, perhaps? A custom tailor? Probably not, but when should imagination ever be reined in when it can touch the unachievable? I would always have involved and passionate about my work, aspiring to rise up and outdo myself. It was a mode of expressing personality through colour and design, an extension to the human form, utter embodiment of beauty and style.
I giggled at my own absurdity. It was like a forgotten dream, cut straight out of the pages of Vogue. No harm in wondering though, I suppose. But of course, I can't possibly know who I was as a human, seem as I have no memory of that other life.
Of course I knew why I felt this way, partly because clothes were often designed to enhance the human form. Well I was perfect, physically and perfection gets boring after a while. A very short while. No matter what I wore, people would always be drawn to my inhuman face before anything else they noticed. But I wanted –almost subconsciously– to act human. To feel human. To be ever growing changing, filled with new tastes and desires. Of course now I would be able to make clothes with minute accuracy and precision, sew tiny details and embroider intricate designs without a stitch out of place with my keen vision, as long I focused on not crushing the needle. But where is the challenge if it comes so easily?
I thought then of my sister. Well, my future sister; I had seen her in more of my visions. The golden-blonde beauty. She would always dress impeccably, but it would be a granted rather than an interest or delight to her. I felt my expression go tender with the thoughts of mine and Jasper's future family.
In some vague way my thoughts meandered to the next decade. I had seen snatches of it, although I could not see much further than what would affect me The teenage culture phenomena would begin, although I was passing for twenty or over at the moment so I wouldn't need to become a part of that facade. The consumer society would reinvent itself; people would seek to buy luxuries over necessities. I could see myself with Jasper in tow, willing to go along with whatever I wanted but not missing the chance to roll his eyes at me. I felt like it was some channel connecting me to the human world. A world that was constantly changing. It would also be a decade of war. I was glad Jasper would not be fighting anymore, in any kind of war.
Bringing myself back to the present moment, I glanced around briefly for something to do. I could go and mingle with some of the other women, perhaps. I was sure my hair would stand out amongst theirs; the style at the moment was to be worn above one's head and my hair was to short for that. Although, I didn't suppose that would matter too much in a place like this.
Moving from my sitting position I let the fabric slip from my fingers as I lay back on the bed in the dark. There was no real need to turn the light on. Everything was defined to my eyes as clear as day. Hmm…I could try and look ahead to the Cullen's once again. I would try and find out the name of the blonde girl, by listening to snatches of future conversation.
I closed my eyes.
Almost instantaneously I felt the sensation of movement, the sound of air whooshing past loudly inside my head. Although I could feel I was sitting on the bed, the scene around me had changed. There was a lot of darkness. Inky black darkness painted by my mind that it would not let me penetrate with my eyes.
Jasper's eyes glowing red with the crumpled body of a human victim laid next to him on the ground…
A drip of blood…
Jasper's hands covering each side of his face as if clawing himself in anguish, rocking back and forth, at what he'd done, but still it cut to another victim…and another…
A massacre.
This was not occurring now, but it would happen soon. In the next few weeks maybe. I snapped out of the vision and wrenched my eyes open, trying to quench shock and rising panic. Jasper would feel it from where he was, and he would come straight up.
And now I'd have to tell him of the homicide I'd seen him committing, see the horror on his face. No. This would be one vision that would not come true. But still I remembered at the beginning, when his thirst had built until it was unbearable.
My eyes fell now out of focus, staring straight through the stone wall in front of me. As well as horrific my vision had been…unusual. Normally they were like a real life scene, and in would watch as if looking through a window, but this one had been more like…a play, performed for me, in the front row seat. More dramatic and theatrical. I bit my lip. Why would that be? I didn't like not being able to fully understand my power. Was it because my emotions were affecting my vision? After all, I had never been in this exact situation where I had had such a significant vision about someone I cared about so much.
Then, my head snapped up, and my dark pupils focused instantly. I had been too slow, and he had been too quick. Within a few seconds, the light from the crack in the door way flared up and I could see Jasper's worried eyes watching my face and feel his calming presence. He sat on the edge of the bed, his hand resting on the indent of my waist.
'Don't sedate me Jasper' I mumbled, a frustrated edge to my tone. It was frustration at myself.
'I'm sorry. It's for my self almost as much as for you. I find it hard to take when you feel this way.'
'How did you excuse yourself from those men? I asked, my tone light. 'What reason did you give?'
He ignored that, and watched me with a frown.
'I'm fine' I said, although he had said nothing.
'Alice…' he replied, his tone a soft plea.
I sat up, appraising his face and decided I had to tell him the truth.
'I saw you' I murmured, '…Murdering people. About a dozen in a few weeks time, maybe more that I haven't seen yet. It was terrible to watch. But you're pain after each time… I could feel it.'
The reaction in his eyes hit me like a force; he stared at me in frozen horror. I knew how much faith he put in my visions.
'It might not happen.' I whispered.
'It won't' he vowed. 'I promise you now it won't.' The emotion of vehement denial was intense in his voice.
But then his voice faltered 'You doubt me' he whispered, sorrowful. 'I can feel it.'
It hurt me to see the pain on his face. 'No, I believe you. I have far more faith in you than what goes on in my own head.' I managed a smile.
'I know. It's more than I deserve. I need to prove that I can be worthy of you.'
I snorted. 'You? Worthy of me? And here all this time I've been wondering what angel I was in my previous life to deserve you.'
Jasper POV
I had a dream, which was not all a dream. The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars did wander darkling in the eternal space…
'Darkness' by Lord Bryon
Alice had several visions that night. Each time her long slender eyebrows knitted together and she looked up at me with doleful eyes, unwilling to tell me their harrowing content.
I walked out from those claustrophobic walls into the bathroom, to an old and filthy gilded mirror was lying in the corner, amongst other junk. I stared into my reflection, watching my own expression warily and hating what I saw there.
Then in a sudden reflex I smashed it with my tightly balled fist. I wished so much then that my hand could bleed, so that I could feel the pain and find some release for my anger and self hatred. The agony of my feelings allowed me no respite for I knew that to give in, receive the gratification of my darkest wishes would be a serpent that would sting me with the regret.
I felt Alice come in behind me and wrap her arms around me from behind. Now I could see her reflection the in the mirror, broken alongside mine in the smashed glass.
I had broken her too because of the cruel selfish monster I was.
I turned away from it in disgust, and rested my head against the wall I laced my hand through hers, laying our entwined hands over my dormant heart and clutching helplessly at the fabric of my clothing. I didn't know what was coming, but I would not let her down. Not this time.
Not ever again.