Theme song >>>> link

Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From SeanTheHedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye: *Blows horn twice*
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *Drives train out of the station.*

Also starring Stylo From Jimmythedragon

NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage

Percy, Jeff, Mike, Nicole, Stephanie, and Pete from SeanTheHedgehog

Dan from Someonebutnoone

Episode 111

Pete: *Signing papers* This is practically the only thing I do here. The railroad constantly sends me so many damn papers, that I have to spend all my time signing them in this fucking office.

---

Metal Gloss: Hi Pierce.
Hawkeye: Hey.
Stylo: What? No hi for me?
Hawkeye: Hi Stylo.
Stylo: Not from you.
Metal Gloss: Sorry Stylo, I'm just upset right now.
Hawkeye: Still upset about 844?
Metal Gloss: Yeah. Renumbering that engine just doesn't seem right. It's the only engine we've had that's never been retired from service, and renumbering it feels like desecration.

---

Metal Gloss: *Waiting for ponies to come onto the platform*
Hawkeye: No one so far.
Metal Gloss: I guess nopony wants to travel to North Platte.
Ponies: *Coming onto the platform from the station*
Hawkeye: Or so we thought.
Pony 49: Hey, they renumbered the steam engine.
Pony 93: This is cool.
Ponies: *Taking pictures*
Metal Gloss: They actually like it.
Hawkeye: I told you so.

Episode 112

Song: link

A pony wearing a black hoodie walked into the station, and passed a door that said employees only.

Hooded Pony: *Running upstairs, and crossing a bridge that goes over the train tracks*
Railroad Pony: *Slowly driving an electric engine while blowing the horn*
Hooded Pony: *Crosses the entire bridge, and gets to an area where there are three electric engines*
Guard 54: Hey, you can't be here.
Hooded Pony: *Pulls out a revolver, and shoots the three guards*
Guards: What was that?! *Ten of them are running outside from a huge building*
Hooded Pony: *Opens a huge door into the building behind the electric engines. Inside is a diesel, next to the track that the electric engine is on*
Guards: Freeze! *Pointing guns at the hooded pony* Drop your weapon.
Hooded Pony: *Drops down, rolls over, and takes cover behind a support beam, while shooting more bullets at the guards*

Three guards were shot down

Guard 63: Keep shooting! *Shoots at the hooded pony, but his bullets keep missing*
Hooded Pony: *After reloading the gun, he shoots more guards, using the last one to hit two of them at the same time*

After that was over, the hooded pony climbed into the diesel, started it, and drove it towards the electric engine.

Hooded Pony: *Passes the electric engine, switches onto it's track, couples up to it, and pulls it away*

More guards arrived, but it was too late.

Guard 42: Fuck!
Guard 99: We're going to get fired for this. Aren't we?
Guard 42: I don't think so.

The press soon heard about it, and started making newspapers with the headline, Railway Engines Stolen. These newspapers were sent all around Equestria.

---

Episode 113

Hawkeye, and Stylo were driving a freight train down Sherman Hill from Laramie. They were five minutes early.

Stylo: Five minutes ahead of schedule.
Hawkeye: And the ponies we're delivering this freight to may pay us extra.

But then, their engine stalled.

Stylo: That doesn't sound good.
Hawkeye: Aw come on! *Tries to start the engine*
Stylo: Train 954, our front engine has stalled, and we're coasting down Sherman Hill towards the train yard. We may be late.
Hawkeye: No, we better not be late. I won't be late with my trains, ever. *Tries to start the engine*
Snowflake: Cheyenne to 954, Percy, and Jeff are on their way to take a look, and repair the engine.
Stylo: Ten-4. Thank you.
Hawkeye: I hope they get here soon.

They did, and they quickly fixed the engine. Hawkeye, and Stylo were on their way again, but now they were 1 minute early.

Stylo: Hey. We're still early.
Hawkeye: *Starts the engine* Let's try to stay early with this train. *Drives the train*
Snowflake: *Waiting outside the tower*
Hawkeye: *Stops the train next to Snowflake's tower*
Stylo: *Gets out to uncouple the engines from the freight train*
Snowflake: *Walks over to Hawkeye in the train* Hawkeye, you're late.
Hawkeye: GODDAMN IT!

---

Song: link

At night, Hawkeye walked to a bar. Several neon lights were on above, and in front of him. He thought the lights were too bright when he got to the bar.

Hawkeye: *Covering his eyes as he walks in*
Ponies: *Looking at Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: Hey, someone needs to fix the neon sign. You want your customers to go blind, and get lost?
Bartender: The sign is fine the way it is pal. What do you want?
Hawkeye: *Gives the bartender a twenty dollar bill* As many beers as possible.
Bartender: Right then. *Goes to get the drinks while looking up* Dear lord, please help this stallion.
Pony 85: *Walks up to Hawkeye* Hey, you've been up here several times.
Hawkeye: No shit.
Pony 85: You came up here eleven years ago when they scrapped a steam locomotive, you dropped by in 1960 when your friend was in the hospital, and now you're back. What's buggin' you this time?
Hawkeye: Do you know how it feels when you're biggest accomplishment goes down the drain?
Pony 85: Jesus christ, what the-
Hawkeye: Look. I'm not in the mood to talk. If you fuck off, I'll let you have five of my beers.
Pony 85: Mh, okay.
Bartender: *Arrives with forty beers* Here you are Mr. Hawkins.
Hawkeye: Thanks.
Pony 85: *Taking five beers, and walks away* Hey Off, can I fuck you?
Hawkeye: Not what I meant, but at least it worked.

---

Hawkeye: *Can't open the front door* It's locked. Oh well. *Kicks the windows on the doors* Now there has to be someway to unlock this. *Reaching for the lock, and gets it* There we go. *Opens the door*

Episode 114

Pete: *Signing papers in his office*
Percy: *Walks into the office* Sir, can I talk to you?
Pete: What is it Percy?
Percy: I invited a group of, uh... Somethings to join us sir.
Pete: Well, where are they?
Audience: *Laughing*
Percy: *Pointing at you, the reader* Over there sir.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: In all my time, I've never seen a human like that.

---

Snowflake: *Turns around to look at Stylo* You've been neglecting me for quite some time now. I don't know about you, but I think our love interest in each other has declined.
Stylo: That was a mistake on my half, I will admit, however, we can make things right.
Snowflake: Yeah right. Unless you get me a diamond necklace, and a diamond ring, I will not love you anymore, let alone speak to you. You have five days to get it for me.
Stylo: Don't you think that's demanding?
Audience: *Laughing*
Snowflake: Not if you love me.
Stylo: Anything you say. I'll get to it right away. *Leaves the tower*

---

Song: link

Two days later at a bar

Stylo: *Drunk, resting his head on the counter in front of him* Oh fuck!!!
Pony 85: *Arrives* Hey.
Stylo: *Picks up his head, and looks at the pony to his right*
Pony 85: I've heard of you.
Stylo: I'm sure you have, now if you don't mind, I'm trying to have a hangover.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pony 85: Somepony named Pierce Hawkins told me about you.
Stylo: Pierce came here?
Pony 85: That's right. I've seen him coming here on a few occasions ever since 1952.
Stylo: That's the same year I moved into this town from Los Angeles. Wait, no, I moved here in '53.
Pony 85: It seems that your drink is starting to take effect.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Pony 85: Pierce would talk about you sometimes. He says you're a hard working pony that doesn't crack under pressure. What happened to you?
Stylo: I cracked under pressure.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Pony 85: Son of a bitch.
Stylo: What's wrong with you?
Pony 85: I was lied to!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pony 85: *Leaves in anger*

Episode 115

Song: link

Orion: *Dancing on top of a freight train*
Dan: Will you get yourself, and that record player off of the bloody train?!
Mike: It doesn't seem to be workin' lad. He ain't payin' attention to us.
Pete: *Arrives* What is this all about?
Dan: *Points to Orion* You're better off asking him sir.
Pete: Orion! Get the fuck down from there!!
Orion: *Turns off the record player, and climbs down* Yes?
Pete: Don't ever do that again.
Orion: Does this mean I'm fired?
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: No. You'll never get fired, so get used to it!
Orion: I'll prove you wrong Pete!

---

Orion: *Gets an A-B set of E9's, and a U25B coupled up to his train*
Mike: *Standing next to Orion's train* You have anymore plans on getting fired?
Orion: For the moment, no.
Mike: You better think of something, or else you may have to quit, and the government will kill you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Orion: I think I already know that Gonzo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Orion: My signal's green. Time to go. *Drives his train out of the yards*
Mirage: *Arrives* What were you, and Orion talking about?
Mike: About him thinking of a way to get fired, before he's forced to quit, and get killed by the government.
Mirage: You actually believe him?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: I swear Gonzo, you get more, and more retarded every time I see you.

---

Orion: Tada! *The train crashes, and blows up behind him*
Audience: *Laughing*
Dan: You fucking bastard.
Orion: What?! How else am I supposed to get fired?
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: ORION!!!!!!!
Orion: *Excited* Here it comes!!!!
Pete: *Arrives, and is very angry* You caused another accident.
Orion: Of course I did. How else am I supposed to get fired around here?
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: Well instead of firing you, you know what I'm gonna do?
Orion: If you're not gonna fire me, I don't wanna know.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: Too bad. I am going to have you work for ten weeks without pay, and get you arrested.
Orion: Why is it so difficult to get fired on purpose?!?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mike: Nice try Stardust.

Episode 116

When Stylo spun the key five times, the plane wouldn't start. Stylo had to spin the key ten more times in order to get it started.

Black Tuesday: There we go.
Stylo: Chocks away!
Stargazer: There are no chocks. Never needed any with this terrain!
Stylo: Right! *To Hawkeye* Meet me at the airport on Evan's Avenue!
Hawkeye: All right! I know where that is!!!
Stylo: *Makes the plane move forward, passing his car*
Hawkeye: *Drives to Cheyenne International Airport*

Song: link

Stylo turned on the radio, and was enjoying the music.

Stylo: I didn't even know an airplane this old had a radio inside. Stargazer must have put it in.

It did not take long for Stylo to reach the airport. Once he got there, he put the plane in a hangar, and walked to Hawkeye in his car.

Stylo: *Hears the song on the radio in his car, as he sits down next to Hawkeye* Hey, I was just listening to that song.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hawkeye: What a coincidence. *Drives away from the airport*

---

Song: link

Next day, Hawkeye and Stylo were driving a freight train up Sherman Hill.

Stylo: *Looking out the window*
Hawkeye: Are you trying to find them?
Stylo: Yeah. They said they would be here. *Hears the airplane* I hear them.
Stargazer: *Flying over the train, and then to the right. He, and Black Tuesday wave to Stylo, and Hawkeye*
Hawkeye & Stylo: *Wave hello*
Hawkeye: Is he still letting you borrow the plane from time to time?
Stylo: Oh yeah. Sometimes, he even borrows a friend's plane, and we fly together, to any place we want.
Hawkeye: That's good Stylo. I'm glad you have fun with him.

Episode 117

Song: link

Hawkeye: This casino looks brand new.
Stylo: That's because it is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gambling Ponies: *Playing Bridge*
Waiter: Would any of you like a drink?
Gambling Pony: What, and let ourselves get distracted by the booze?
Audience: *Laughing*
Waiter: But we don't serve any alcoholic beverages.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gambling Pony 2: What kind of a casino doesn't serve alcoholic beverages?!
Audience: *Laughing*

---

It was 8 O' clock. Mike won seventeen games in a row.

Hawkeye: *Speechless*
Stylo: How do you keep beating us?
Mike: I don't know.
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Song: link

Hawkeye, Stylo, Dan, Mirage, Metal Gloss, and Mike went back to the casino.

Hawkeye: Hey Mike, why don't you play poker by yourself, while we play something else?
Mike: But, didn't we come here to play poker together?
Hawkeye: Uh, who came up with that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Stylo: I didn't think of that.
Mirage: Was it anyone's idea?
Dan: I don't think so.
Metal Gloss: No one said we were playing poker together.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mike: Oh well. Have fun together. *Goes to play poker by himself*
Metal Gloss: All right. Now we can make some real money.
Mirage: I don't know about you guys, but me, and Dan decided we're going to try our hooves at Black Jack.
Hawkeye: Have fun with that. I'm going for slots.
Stylo: Same here.
Metal Gloss: I think I'll just watch.

At the Black Jack table

Dealer: *Sees Mirage put $800 on the table, so he does the same* Okay. Try to get as close to 21 as you can. *Puts down a 3, and a 8* Do you want to keep going?
Mirage: Just get me one card.
Dealer: *Puts down a 10* You got 21. *Gives Mirage $1,600*
Dan: My turn. *Puts $700 on the table*
Dealer: *Does the same, and puts down two 7's*
Dan: Two 7's? Interesting. I think I'll stop there.
Dealer: Well played. Your next card would have been a Jack.
Dan: *Takes the money* I'll do one more round.
Mirage: Then after that, we're leaving.
Dealer: Double the stakes?
Dan: *Puts $1,400 on the table*
Dealer: *Does the same, and puts down a King, and Queen, and a 9* Looks like you went over 21.
Mirage: Hold it. My friend did not ask for this card.
Dealer: Well, guess what? He got it anyway. So now, he has to-
Mirage: Don't bullshit us. You give two cards, and only give out extra cards when the player asks for it. Speaking of which, shouldn't you have two cards as well?
Audience: *Laughing*
Dealer: *Sweating* Security!!
Dan: Oh, like that's gonna-

A bullet hit the table, nearly hitting Dan.

Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: We better get out of here! *Leaving with Dan*
Security Ponies: *Following them*
Stylo: That doesn't look good.
Hawkeye: What did they get their selves into?
Security: *Returning*
Dealer: Did they escape?
Security: Yeah, with all of that money.
Hawkeye: Well, I think it's time we go home.
Stylo: I agree.
Metal Gloss: *Leaves with the two stallions*
Mike: *Still playing Poker with other ponies*
Pony 94: I'm losing to a Scottish retard!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pony 49: This is ridiculous!

Episode 118

Orion: Sir, whatever you do, please don't yell.
Pete: KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*

Episode 120

Pete was in his office, doing paperwork.

Pete: How many times are you going to start an episode with me doing this?
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Stylo: You have crossed the fucking line this time Gonzo!
Mike: Take it easy. All I did was crash the engines.

They explode behind Gonzo.

Audience: *Laughing*
Stylo: That's it. I'm taking a three day vacation, and I hope by then, you get common sense. *Leaves the train yard*
Mike: But common sense will turn me into a retard.
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Pete: This is perfect. This freight car is not going anywhere at all, so you'll stay here until I tell you it's safe.
Orion: *Bumps into the car with his switcher*
Stylo: *Rolling down the hill in the freight car* Is it still safe sir?
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: I try helping him out, and this is the way he repays me. Wise ass wise cracks.
Audience: *Laughing*

The End

On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails

Wait, there is no next episode. Season 12 is the last season of this show

This is the best thing I've ever written, going from 2013 to 2016.