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Gwen played with her food. She is not hungry, though she knows she has to eat. She still has some undone chores back in the castle, and she needs energy to complete them, but not even the delectable food in front of her could get her attention. Finally she pushed the plate away and sighed, leaning back against the chair. Someone knocked at the door. Gwen looked startled. The knock came again, this time in a hurry. She tightened her fingers around the cup she held while the other grabbed the edge of the table, her nails planted into the firm wood.
“Gwen?” someone called from outside. Gwen’s face relaxed. She recognised that voice. Slowly she pushed her chair back, rose to her feet and walked over to the door.
“Gwen?” the voice called again. Gwen pulled the door back and a warm smile greeted her from the other side of the door.
“Merlin,” Gwen called out and smiled back. No matter how sad or frustrated she’d been, Merlin’s smile always brightened her up. And she could use that now.
“Can I?” he asked, his pearly teeth showing as he widened his smile.
“Of course, Merlin.” She stepped back and he entered. Closing the door behind her, she followed him to the table. Merlin, still flashing his innocent smile, poured himself a cup of water, drained it down in a gulp and turned back towards her.
“Have you eaten, Merlin? Can I get you something?”
“No, I’ve had plenty at the feast a while ago. I’m here to ask why you weren’t there.”
“Oh…” Gwen’s heart sank. She’d been avoiding the issue all day. “Did Arthur send you to ask me?”
“Well, I wanted to ask you myself.” Merlin smiled sheepishly, “though he may do that on his own later. You know… when he visits you in his hooded disguise later tonight.” he added. Gwen smiled and looked down.
“So… why didn’t you join us?”
“I was tired, Merlin.”
“Really?”
“You don’t believe me?”
“I want to, but I can’t.”
“Well, that’s the truth whether you like it or not!” her voice rose slightly. She hated the issue being discussed and wished Merlin would drop it.
“Oh. I thought you might have been disturbed by Lancelot’s return”
“Merlin, that’s not true.” She turned away. Merlin remained silent. Gwen knew he didn’t believe her but she can’t tell him the truth; at least not yet. A warm hand touched her shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. Gwen sighed. There is no point in lying to Merlin. He would find out eventually, like he always did. Sighing, she turned back to face him. Merlin cupped her chin and lifted it up. Her eyes were welling up with tears. He looked startled.
“Gwen?”
“Merlin… I’m not sure how to put this to you…”
“You know you can tell me anything. I’m your friend and always will be. Tell me… why didn’t you join us?”
“It’s… Lancelot,” she said. Merlin remained silent.
“He isn’t the same person like he was before, Merlin… he’s changed.”
“How?”
“Both you and I know he had feelings for me, but after learning of my loyalty to Arthur, he decided to bury his own feelings and pretend nothing ever happened between us. He was loyal to Arthur, a friend and nothing more to me… he gave his word to protect Arthur and kept it, but…”
“He did something to you?”
“Well…”
“Gwen!” Merlin nudged her back a little and looked at her, his brow arching into a frown, his eyes searching hers for an answer. His smile disappeared and his face was taut. Gwen had never seen him tight like this before and immediately eased the situation.
“Merlin, no, nothing like that… relax, will you?” she tried to smile but Merlin wasn’t convinced.
“What did he do to you?” It was more like an order than a question.
“He… he… he tried to court me!”
“What, Lancelot?”
“Merlin, remember the day you all found him by the lake? I was actually relieved that he was safe and I was happy we got our friend back, but as soon as he recovered from his wounds, his behaviour towards me wasn’t really… chivalrous. He appears to be in love with me despite learning of my relationship with Arthur, speaks of his feelings openly and seems to be profound in displaying his affection, regardless of where we are! Merlin, this is not the Lancelot we lost, not our friend. This is a stranger! He might look like Lancelot, but he isn’t in his soul!”
“He really did that?” Merlin was confused.
“You’re not believing me, are you?”
“No… it’s not that I don’t, but… Lancelot?”
“Precisely, Merlin. I didn’t believe it at first either, but his manners proved otherwise. He frightens me, Merlin. The way he looks at me, the way he speaks to me… everything he does when I am around is a little frightening to accept.”
“And Arthur is aware of this?”
“NO!! Thankfully not! Lancelot behaves appallingly when Arthur isn’t around and though I wish he was, I don’t know what he’d make of the situation, and what’d he think of me.” Gwen explained, with worry in her voice.
Merlin sighed and looked away. He wasn’t aware his friend was undergoing such turmoil and he the last thing he expected was for it to be coming from another friend of his. He now doubted that it really was Lancelot they’d found by the lake of Avalon.
“What else did he attempt to do to you?” Merlin asked. Gwen looked at Merlin and noted the soft warm eyes were looking back at her, providing assurance that she’s not alone in this matter.
“Yesterday, after he was brought back from the lake, he was resting in his chambers when Gaius asked me to deliver him a draught to heal his wounds. He wasn’t on his bed when I arrived; in fact it seemed he knew I was coming. The moment I walked in… he… he grabbed me and… and…” Gwen couldn’t carry on.
“And what, Gwen?” Merlin asked softly. Gwen swallowed and closed her eyes. The dreadful incident was still lingering in her mind.
“He tried to kiss me, Merlin!” she finally blurted and heard Merlin gasp.
“Did he?”
“No!! I wouldn’t have any of it. I pushed him away and that’s when I saw his eyes! Gone is the gentle and humble man we knew him to be; he has been replaced by this unknown monster that has possessed our friend. I left his chambers immediately and that’s when his odd behaviour started surfacing. During the knights’ meeting, he couldn’t stop looking at me. During the feast yesterday, despite listening or pretending to listen to Arthur, I sensed his gaze was always on me… I can’t walk in that castle like I did before, Merlin. Everywhere I go, I can feel him behind me… his eyes straying all over me… I can’t do this anymore. That’s why I decided to stay away tonight.”
“Oh, you poor soul.” Merlin was sympathetic. A single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
“Now… we wouldn’t want to spoil that lovely face of yours when the royal prat gets here, do we?”
"Merlin!" Gwen warned and smiled.
Merlin laughed as he wiped the tear away.
“There… that’s more like it.”
“Gwen… why don’t we tell Arthur about this?”
“No Merlin!”
“But…”
“No!! Promise me you won’t either. He’s already burdened by the matters of the kingdom, the war with Sir Geordain and the traitor within the walls of Camelot. I won’t put my matter on his shoulders as well.”
“But Gwen, this is serious.”
“It can wait, Merlin. There is something not quite right about this whole situation. You told me you saw Lancelot sacrifice himself and now we found him revived. He is acting strangely and he is always wearing black, despite him not quite liking the colour before. We need to get to the bottom of this matter first; find out why is he behaving oddly.”
“And then?”
“And then I’ll tell Arthur myself.”
“What if he does not believe you?”
“I love him with all my heart, Merlin, and I know he will believe me, for he loves me that much, too. He will understand why I did what I did.”
“Oh, Gwen,” Merlin smiled and cupped Gwen’s cheek. “I am so proud of you both, have I told you that?”
“I believe not.” Gwen smiled, for the first time that day.
“You will be the great queen Camelot deserves and you will make Arthur very happy indeed!”
“Thank you for listening, Merlin. You are a good friend”
“Tell Arthur that. He still makes me clean his boots!!” Merlin sneered and rolled his eyes. Gwen laughed.
“I will Merlin… I will.” she replied.
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Gwen played with her food. She is not hungry, though she knows she has to eat. She still has some undone chores back in the castle, and she needs energy to complete them, but not even the delectable food in front of her could get her attention. Finally she pushed the plate away and sighed, leaning back against the chair. Someone knocked at the door. Gwen looked startled. The knock came again, this time in a hurry. She tightened her fingers around the cup she held while the other grabbed the edge of the table, her nails planted into the firm wood.
“Gwen?” someone called from outside. Gwen’s face relaxed. She recognised that voice. Slowly she pushed her chair back, rose to her feet and walked over to the door.
“Gwen?” the voice called again. Gwen pulled the door back and a warm smile greeted her from the other side of the door.
“Merlin,” Gwen called out and smiled back. No matter how sad or frustrated she’d been, Merlin’s smile always brightened her up. And she could use that now.
“Can I?” he asked, his pearly teeth showing as he widened his smile.
“Of course, Merlin.” She stepped back and he entered. Closing the door behind her, she followed him to the table. Merlin, still flashing his innocent smile, poured himself a cup of water, drained it down in a gulp and turned back towards her.
“Have you eaten, Merlin? Can I get you something?”
“No, I’ve had plenty at the feast a while ago. I’m here to ask why you weren’t there.”
“Oh…” Gwen’s heart sank. She’d been avoiding the issue all day. “Did Arthur send you to ask me?”
“Well, I wanted to ask you myself.” Merlin smiled sheepishly, “though he may do that on his own later. You know… when he visits you in his hooded disguise later tonight.” he added. Gwen smiled and looked down.
“So… why didn’t you join us?”
“I was tired, Merlin.”
“Really?”
“You don’t believe me?”
“I want to, but I can’t.”
“Well, that’s the truth whether you like it or not!” her voice rose slightly. She hated the issue being discussed and wished Merlin would drop it.
“Oh. I thought you might have been disturbed by Lancelot’s return”
“Merlin, that’s not true.” She turned away. Merlin remained silent. Gwen knew he didn’t believe her but she can’t tell him the truth; at least not yet. A warm hand touched her shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. Gwen sighed. There is no point in lying to Merlin. He would find out eventually, like he always did. Sighing, she turned back to face him. Merlin cupped her chin and lifted it up. Her eyes were welling up with tears. He looked startled.
“Gwen?”
“Merlin… I’m not sure how to put this to you…”
“You know you can tell me anything. I’m your friend and always will be. Tell me… why didn’t you join us?”
“It’s… Lancelot,” she said. Merlin remained silent.
“He isn’t the same person like he was before, Merlin… he’s changed.”
“How?”
“Both you and I know he had feelings for me, but after learning of my loyalty to Arthur, he decided to bury his own feelings and pretend nothing ever happened between us. He was loyal to Arthur, a friend and nothing more to me… he gave his word to protect Arthur and kept it, but…”
“He did something to you?”
“Well…”
“Gwen!” Merlin nudged her back a little and looked at her, his brow arching into a frown, his eyes searching hers for an answer. His smile disappeared and his face was taut. Gwen had never seen him tight like this before and immediately eased the situation.
“Merlin, no, nothing like that… relax, will you?” she tried to smile but Merlin wasn’t convinced.
“What did he do to you?” It was more like an order than a question.
“He… he… he tried to court me!”
“What, Lancelot?”
“Merlin, remember the day you all found him by the lake? I was actually relieved that he was safe and I was happy we got our friend back, but as soon as he recovered from his wounds, his behaviour towards me wasn’t really… chivalrous. He appears to be in love with me despite learning of my relationship with Arthur, speaks of his feelings openly and seems to be profound in displaying his affection, regardless of where we are! Merlin, this is not the Lancelot we lost, not our friend. This is a stranger! He might look like Lancelot, but he isn’t in his soul!”
“He really did that?” Merlin was confused.
“You’re not believing me, are you?”
“No… it’s not that I don’t, but… Lancelot?”
“Precisely, Merlin. I didn’t believe it at first either, but his manners proved otherwise. He frightens me, Merlin. The way he looks at me, the way he speaks to me… everything he does when I am around is a little frightening to accept.”
“And Arthur is aware of this?”
“NO!! Thankfully not! Lancelot behaves appallingly when Arthur isn’t around and though I wish he was, I don’t know what he’d make of the situation, and what’d he think of me.” Gwen explained, with worry in her voice.
Merlin sighed and looked away. He wasn’t aware his friend was undergoing such turmoil and he the last thing he expected was for it to be coming from another friend of his. He now doubted that it really was Lancelot they’d found by the lake of Avalon.
“What else did he attempt to do to you?” Merlin asked. Gwen looked at Merlin and noted the soft warm eyes were looking back at her, providing assurance that she’s not alone in this matter.
“Yesterday, after he was brought back from the lake, he was resting in his chambers when Gaius asked me to deliver him a draught to heal his wounds. He wasn’t on his bed when I arrived; in fact it seemed he knew I was coming. The moment I walked in… he… he grabbed me and… and…” Gwen couldn’t carry on.
“And what, Gwen?” Merlin asked softly. Gwen swallowed and closed her eyes. The dreadful incident was still lingering in her mind.
“He tried to kiss me, Merlin!” she finally blurted and heard Merlin gasp.
“Did he?”
“No!! I wouldn’t have any of it. I pushed him away and that’s when I saw his eyes! Gone is the gentle and humble man we knew him to be; he has been replaced by this unknown monster that has possessed our friend. I left his chambers immediately and that’s when his odd behaviour started surfacing. During the knights’ meeting, he couldn’t stop looking at me. During the feast yesterday, despite listening or pretending to listen to Arthur, I sensed his gaze was always on me… I can’t walk in that castle like I did before, Merlin. Everywhere I go, I can feel him behind me… his eyes straying all over me… I can’t do this anymore. That’s why I decided to stay away tonight.”
“Oh, you poor soul.” Merlin was sympathetic. A single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
“Now… we wouldn’t want to spoil that lovely face of yours when the royal prat gets here, do we?”
"Merlin!" Gwen warned and smiled.
Merlin laughed as he wiped the tear away.
“There… that’s more like it.”
“Gwen… why don’t we tell Arthur about this?”
“No Merlin!”
“But…”
“No!! Promise me you won’t either. He’s already burdened by the matters of the kingdom, the war with Sir Geordain and the traitor within the walls of Camelot. I won’t put my matter on his shoulders as well.”
“But Gwen, this is serious.”
“It can wait, Merlin. There is something not quite right about this whole situation. You told me you saw Lancelot sacrifice himself and now we found him revived. He is acting strangely and he is always wearing black, despite him not quite liking the colour before. We need to get to the bottom of this matter first; find out why is he behaving oddly.”
“And then?”
“And then I’ll tell Arthur myself.”
“What if he does not believe you?”
“I love him with all my heart, Merlin, and I know he will believe me, for he loves me that much, too. He will understand why I did what I did.”
“Oh, Gwen,” Merlin smiled and cupped Gwen’s cheek. “I am so proud of you both, have I told you that?”
“I believe not.” Gwen smiled, for the first time that day.
“You will be the great queen Camelot deserves and you will make Arthur very happy indeed!”
“Thank you for listening, Merlin. You are a good friend”
“Tell Arthur that. He still makes me clean his boots!!” Merlin sneered and rolled his eyes. Gwen laughed.
“I will Merlin… I will.” she replied.
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