Well, it's my first foray into reviewing a western-themed shooter set about 100 Earth years ago. How does the game stack up? We shall see.
-Story-
You play... for 99% of the game anyway... John Marston, a former government employee who went rogue and turned into being a good ol' American cowboy, back when people actually GAVE A SHIT. This is literally all I can say without spoiling any events for you. But rest assured, the story is worth it. But fuck the ending. I hated it.
Rating: 82/100(would have been higher, but the ending...)
-Gameplay-
Aim gun. Shoot things. Kill things. Loot things. How can something so simple be so complex? Also, is it just me or does horseback gunslinging suck ass? No joke; I had to turn on cheat codes just to get past the rest of the game. Gunslingers like Marston should not have to hide behind cover for 10 seconds just to get his raspberry jam smeared off. I wanted an experience like those Clint Eastwood movies, and cheat codes gave me it. I lost out on a couple hundred Xbox GamerScore points, but it was a sacrifice I had to make. All in all, a good gameplay style, but you'll probably need to input some codes to get through it.
Rating: 68/100
-Graphics-
Looked good when it was made, looks like shit today. However, that's more a side effect of living in the PS4/Xbox One era than anything. I could do without that scene where this one guy's banging someone else, though... that't not the kind of graphics I look for.
Rating: 71/100
-Sound-
Well, this one they got right in spades. Guns sound like they have actual goddamn impact(Sorry, TNA Impact Wrestling...), you can hear the hoofsteps of the horses you ride, and the game's soundtrack is pretty good. However, you might want to get an MP3 player and Motorhead's Ace of Spades album; strangely enough, it fits better with the game. However, high marks to Rockstar for making it feel like a cowboy western movie.
Rating: 94/100
-Final Verdict-
Rockstar knows what gamers want, even if they didn't out-and-out ask for it. This game is one of the better ones I've reviewed. Final Fantasy 13 and Fable 3 can suck my dick; I want to review more games like this. However, there are times I have to review pieces of shit... like FF13 and Fable 3. All I strive to do is give you my honest opinion about the games I have played. Red Dead Redemption, you're all right in my book. Now what do I review next... *sees copy of Borderlands materialize* Oh, fuck yes. This is gonna be awesome.
Final Score: 78.75/100
I'm Button Mash, and this has been a video game review.
-Story-
You play... for 99% of the game anyway... John Marston, a former government employee who went rogue and turned into being a good ol' American cowboy, back when people actually GAVE A SHIT. This is literally all I can say without spoiling any events for you. But rest assured, the story is worth it. But fuck the ending. I hated it.
Rating: 82/100(would have been higher, but the ending...)
-Gameplay-
Aim gun. Shoot things. Kill things. Loot things. How can something so simple be so complex? Also, is it just me or does horseback gunslinging suck ass? No joke; I had to turn on cheat codes just to get past the rest of the game. Gunslingers like Marston should not have to hide behind cover for 10 seconds just to get his raspberry jam smeared off. I wanted an experience like those Clint Eastwood movies, and cheat codes gave me it. I lost out on a couple hundred Xbox GamerScore points, but it was a sacrifice I had to make. All in all, a good gameplay style, but you'll probably need to input some codes to get through it.
Rating: 68/100
-Graphics-
Looked good when it was made, looks like shit today. However, that's more a side effect of living in the PS4/Xbox One era than anything. I could do without that scene where this one guy's banging someone else, though... that't not the kind of graphics I look for.
Rating: 71/100
-Sound-
Well, this one they got right in spades. Guns sound like they have actual goddamn impact(Sorry, TNA Impact Wrestling...), you can hear the hoofsteps of the horses you ride, and the game's soundtrack is pretty good. However, you might want to get an MP3 player and Motorhead's Ace of Spades album; strangely enough, it fits better with the game. However, high marks to Rockstar for making it feel like a cowboy western movie.
Rating: 94/100
-Final Verdict-
Rockstar knows what gamers want, even if they didn't out-and-out ask for it. This game is one of the better ones I've reviewed. Final Fantasy 13 and Fable 3 can suck my dick; I want to review more games like this. However, there are times I have to review pieces of shit... like FF13 and Fable 3. All I strive to do is give you my honest opinion about the games I have played. Red Dead Redemption, you're all right in my book. Now what do I review next... *sees copy of Borderlands materialize* Oh, fuck yes. This is gonna be awesome.
Final Score: 78.75/100
I'm Button Mash, and this has been a video game review.
Okay, you know I have that 1-year Gamefly subscription. If you read my Top 10 Video Games list, you saw Phantasy Star Portable 2 in the honorable mentions list with the reason given that I have yet to finish it. The reason for that was the final boss of the game kept pulverizing my plot too many times to count. Guess what I get to rectify either today or Monday! After I get my long-awaited revenge and close this digital plothole, I will get right to work on a review for it... hopefully. Stand by.
I know, you're all wondering: "When is Button Mash gonna review another game?"
Well, it won't be too long. I got a year's worth of Gamefly, so I'll be playing a lot of games. I'll probably review some of them. In the meantime, hang tight. I'm not dead. I've just been busy trying to make friends in Equestria when I'm not sitting on my plot trying to make sense of what I'm playing, which does happen occasionally.
I think I'll review that recent South Park game next... what do you ponies think?
Well, it won't be too long. I got a year's worth of Gamefly, so I'll be playing a lot of games. I'll probably review some of them. In the meantime, hang tight. I'm not dead. I've just been busy trying to make friends in Equestria when I'm not sitting on my plot trying to make sense of what I'm playing, which does happen occasionally.
I think I'll review that recent South Park game next... what do you ponies think?
So, I heard this game called Destiny came out. It was supposed to be the biggest game in the universe, surpassed by nothing, with the best feature set this side of Grand Theft Auto 5.
Then the reviews came out.
It was highly regarded as a boring grindfest. A waste of 60 bits. Well, here's my own 2 bits.
These guys at Bungie are going to drag this out over 10 years. 10. BUCKING. YEARS. Yeah, it's boring now. But give it some time to come out with DLC and shit and you'll have a sleeper hit. There's a reason long-term plans work.
Then the reviews came out.
It was highly regarded as a boring grindfest. A waste of 60 bits. Well, here's my own 2 bits.
These guys at Bungie are going to drag this out over 10 years. 10. BUCKING. YEARS. Yeah, it's boring now. But give it some time to come out with DLC and shit and you'll have a sleeper hit. There's a reason long-term plans work.
