After recommending a few games to my hetero lifemate, Canada24, I thought “You know… I should annoy him by giving him some anime to watch”. Now, I know Canada isn’t the best when it comes to understanding Japanese culture, so I need to be as careful as I possibly can with this list. Like disarming a bomb. Only this will probably leave a lot less casualties if I fuck up. So, seeing as how this will never make the front page, I am going to put little effort into this opening and just get started.
#10: Samurai Champloo
I do not expect Canada to ever watch this anime. This is just one I could think of for his taste. This anime follows two samurai warriors. Mugen, a rude and brash samurai who uses break-dancing to fight his enemies, and Jin, the traditional samurai who fights with honor. After they are both saved by a teahouse owner named Fuu from execution, they agree to accompany her on her journey to find “The Samurai that Smells of Sunflowers”. Now, why would Canada CONSIDER this anime. Well, for starters, Mugen is voiced by Steve Blum the guy who voiced Spike from Cowboy Bebop, Cliff from Dead Rising, and every animated appearance of Wolverine in any X-Men cartoon. And this is a cross between feudal Japan mixed with a whole bunch of hip-hop references. The whole show has a bunch of hip-hop musicians, Mugen fucking break-dances in a fight, and the entire soundtrack is hip-hop. It’s just dumb but VERY enjoyable fun. Maybe Canada will watch it, maybe not. I don’t know. I’m not a psychic. I’m a basement dweller.
#9: Highschool of the Dead
I can tell you one thing for sure about Canada. He really love zombie games and movies. Though, who doesn’t? So, thankfully, an anime came along to show us the dead rising and fucking shit up in anime form. The anime follows a highschool student named Takeshi as he tries to survive the zombie apocalypse with the help of his schoolmates. Other characters include Saya, a rude smart girl who always sees herself as the smartest one in the group. Kohta, a fat nerd who is secretly a badass and knows a whole lot about guns. Shizuka….. She’s a nurse and does fucking nothing, so no one cares. Then there’s Rei, the worst thing about this anime. And Saeko, the BEST thing about this anime. This is a series that is not afraid to show a lot of violence. Sadly, this is also not afraid to show the camera trying to get comfortable in a woman's cleavage or try to look up their skirts. This anime can not stop showing tits and panties for five seconds. But, this isn’t an anime made to be taken seriously. If you can enjoy it for it’s incredibly dumb fun, than that is probably for the best. Just don’t expect groundbreaking storytelling.
#8: Attack on Titan
No, I am not recommending this anime to Canada because this is an anime that does not take place in Japan, and rather Industrial Era Germany. No, I am not recommending this anime for how the protagonist, Eren Yeager, is treated wrongly by the world because he is part Titan and needs to be protected by his friend Mikasa and Armin. No, I am not even recommending this anime to Canada because it is about humanity being forced to hide behind a wall because they are attacked by giant monsters called Titans who do not eat for food, but just kill for the fun of it, leading to hundreds of deaths, making no one, even the main characters safe. So why am I recommending this anime to him? Because he watched Attack on Titan Abridged and liked it……. Yes, that is the only reason….. Nothing else…………. Next entry.
#7: Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt
Here is a weird one. Panty and Stocking is an anime about two angel sisters, named Panty and Stocking Anarchy, who were banished from heaven for their irresponsible behavior and they now must fight off Ghosts inside Daten City to earn their way back into Heaven. Seems like the typical anime premise, right? Well, no. Panty and Stocking are basically two selfish lazy people who are lead by an African American priest with an afro named Garterbelt who has to put up with their shit. Also, Garterbelt is voiced by the same guy who voiced Vegeta… Let that sink in. He went from a Saiyan prince, to a priest in an anime like this…. Yeah. Panty is a sex addicted maniac who wants to sleep with anything that has a penis, and uses her panties to turn them into handguns to fight demons, while Stocking is always obsessed with sweats and uses her stockings to turn them into swords. The entire anime is filled with a whole bunch of dick and sex jokes, and was made in the style of an American cartoon. This is because Ginax, after blowing their entire budget on the overly religious anime Evangelion, went to a hotel, got pissass drunk, and laughed their asses off as they watched the cartoon Drawn Together, and made their own show based off it. Yep, Panty and Stocking came from a couple of Japanese men. It’s a very filthy show, but very good, especially if Canada is into those shows you see on Cartoon Network late at night.
#6: Parasyte: The Maxim
Now, I don’t know where Canada stands when it comes to body horror, like with movies like The Thing, or games like Dead Space, but I do know he enjoys horror. So, what kind of horror anime of the recent era do I recommend? Parasyte, of course. The anime follows a high school student named Shinichi, whose hand has been taken over by a Parasyte, an alien that tries to take over the human body and use it to devour other humans in very grotesque fashion. The Parasyte in Shinichi’s arm is named Migi, and the two must work together to stop other Parasytes that try to kill them to hide their secret from the world. This anime is incredible with it’s character development. Shinichi starts out as a wimpy nerd, but soon becomes a badass with a heart. And throughout all this, he contemplates what is right and what is wrong and goes through so much changes in the anime. It’s insane. Though, why this didn’t make the top five is one fuck up. The love interest, Satomi. If you ever wanted to meet the most bipolar girl on the planet, this is her. She always changes her emotions, saying she hates Shinichi, but obviously wants the D so goddamn badly, she might as well have a neon sign saying, “Fuck me, Shinichi!” But, that’s not the point of the anime, so… this anime has purpose again…. Yay.
#5: Hellsing
I know what some of you are thinking. “Wait, didn’t Canada watch Hellsing Ultimate already”. Well, yes, he did. But, that was Hellsing ULTIMATE. Before that, there was another anime on Hellsing, called…. Hellsing. Basically, this anime is pretty much the same, only more serious, as it doesn’t have the jokes in Hellsing Ultimate that basically were not funny and more distracting. Hellsing is basically all serious from start to finish. The only thing I know Canada will hate about Hellsing is that The Major is not in this anime. Since this was being made before the manga it was based on was finished, the Major could not be in it. Instead, they had a different villain named Incognito. I mean, he’s okay, but he ain’t no Major… But at least Jan Valentine is in both, so that makes it better, right? Also, Seras isn’t much of the comic relief in this one. She actually acts like a person who takes their job seriously, so that’s a plus in my book.
#4: Baccano!
After Canada disliked Black Lagoon, I had to be VERY careful with how I treat another action anime that has gunfights in it. Baccano is an anime that takes place in different times and places at once. In the 1930s, a train called the Flying Pussyfoot (Yes, that is the name) is being attacked by mobsters, and a psychotic killer named The Rail Tracer. In New York, a scientist and his assistant are risking their lives to find elixirs of immortality. As all this happens, two rival mafias are soon ready to go to war with many killing each other. Though all of these seem completely different, they all come back together as they are pieced together by the kind thieves Mirai and Isaac. This anime can get really violent when it comes to how much damage one can do with basically ANYTHING. Bullets, pipes, baseball bats, even fists can be used to turn a person's face into a bruised bleeding mess. However, I know Canada, and I know Canada loves gunfights, and Baccano has gunfights. It also has a story, but knowing Canada, he won’t give a shit probably.
#3: Devilman
Well, this is probably the most violent anime on this list. Devilman follows a shy teenage by the name of Akira who is killed in a bike accident. However, he is revived when a demon named Devilman takes over his body and uses it to take over the world. However, when he meets Akira’s friend, Miki, he falls in love with her and vows to protect humanity for her from his fellow demons, who were once his comrades. This anime can get VERY brutal, showing lots of disemboweling, beheadings, and dismemberment. This shit is hardcore as fuck. However, Devilman is not some perfect hero. He wishes to protect humanity from demons, but seeing them as criminals and being very easy to be corrupted and even kill other humans, he questions if saving humans is worth it and if his demons comrades have the right idea to kill them. Also, Rob Zombie based their song, Super Charger Heaven, off of this anime. So, yeah, Rob Zombie watches anime…… now let THAT sink into your head.
#2: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure
Yes, I know. I never shut up about this anime. I’m sorry I’m a fan of this. But seriously, this anime is awesome. It starts in 1888 London, with Part 1: Phantom Blood. with the first Jojo, Jonathan Joestar, as he tries to protect the world from his adopted brother, Dio Brando, who has become a power hungry vampire, and must defeat him and his army of the undead with the help of Will A. Zeppeli and Robert Edward O. Speedwagon. Part 2: Battle Tendency follows the grandson of Jonathan, Joseph Joestar in 1936 America, who must defeat the three Pillar Men, a group of powerful ancient vampires, named Wamuu, Esidisi, and Kars, with the help of the grandson of Zeppeli’s grandson, Caesar, and his mentor Lisa Lisa. Part 3: Stardust Crusaders, follows the grandson of Joseph Joestar, Jotaro Kujo, as he travels to Egypt with the help of his grandfather Joseph, an Egyptian fortune teller named Muhammad Avdol, a high school student named Noriaki Kakyoin, a French swordsman named Jean Pierre Polnareff, and a boston terrier with an attitude named Iggy, as they go to defeat Dio with the power of Stands, spirits that fight and protect their user. The anime has a whole bunch of musical references. Some being clever, like Will A. Zeppeli being named after Led Zeppelin, and some not being so clever, like Esidisi, which, if it wasn’t obvious enough, was a reference to AC/DC. When the villain of your series is named after Ronnie James Dio, you know it must be good… And yes, there is a Stand named Metallica…. If that doesn’t interest Canada right away, I don’t know what will.
#1: Monster
Yeah, I showed Canada a few clips of this before, and he thought “Creepy”... And that’s it. But goddamn it, I know he loves that psychological horror stuff, so I highly recommend this anime to him. The anime follows a doctor named Dr. Tenma, who will soon be head doctor at the hospital he works at and will soon marry his fiancee. However, after choosing to save the life of a little boy instead of the mayor, his entire life goes downhill. He is permanently demoted and his fiancee leaves him. But Tenma believes that he did good by saving the boy. That boy would grow up to be Johan Liebert, a man who killed his parents and shot himself, but since he was saved, he believes that it is his destiny to continue killing and thanks Tenma for saving. Tenma finds it to be his fault that this all happened, and now must do what he can to go and stop Johan by any means necessary, while keeping the sister of Johan, Anna, safe from him, while avoiding the crafty detective Heinrich. This anime is VERY dark. As a horror anime, it doesn’t rely on gore and violence like most horror anime. It relies on showing you that humans are a terrible person, and that everyone is corrupted by greed, or hatred, or something. Yes, this includes the viewer. This anime tells you that you, as a human being, are a horrible person, and it wants to remind you that you are a horrible person, and it does an amazing job at that. This is easily the darkest but most well respected anime out there, and apparently, it was so not anime-like, that it was even shown on Si-Fi. If that doesn’t convince Canada to watch this fucking masterpiece, I don’t know what will.
Well, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it. With that said, I will see you all next time.
#10: Samurai Champloo
I do not expect Canada to ever watch this anime. This is just one I could think of for his taste. This anime follows two samurai warriors. Mugen, a rude and brash samurai who uses break-dancing to fight his enemies, and Jin, the traditional samurai who fights with honor. After they are both saved by a teahouse owner named Fuu from execution, they agree to accompany her on her journey to find “The Samurai that Smells of Sunflowers”. Now, why would Canada CONSIDER this anime. Well, for starters, Mugen is voiced by Steve Blum the guy who voiced Spike from Cowboy Bebop, Cliff from Dead Rising, and every animated appearance of Wolverine in any X-Men cartoon. And this is a cross between feudal Japan mixed with a whole bunch of hip-hop references. The whole show has a bunch of hip-hop musicians, Mugen fucking break-dances in a fight, and the entire soundtrack is hip-hop. It’s just dumb but VERY enjoyable fun. Maybe Canada will watch it, maybe not. I don’t know. I’m not a psychic. I’m a basement dweller.
#9: Highschool of the Dead
I can tell you one thing for sure about Canada. He really love zombie games and movies. Though, who doesn’t? So, thankfully, an anime came along to show us the dead rising and fucking shit up in anime form. The anime follows a highschool student named Takeshi as he tries to survive the zombie apocalypse with the help of his schoolmates. Other characters include Saya, a rude smart girl who always sees herself as the smartest one in the group. Kohta, a fat nerd who is secretly a badass and knows a whole lot about guns. Shizuka….. She’s a nurse and does fucking nothing, so no one cares. Then there’s Rei, the worst thing about this anime. And Saeko, the BEST thing about this anime. This is a series that is not afraid to show a lot of violence. Sadly, this is also not afraid to show the camera trying to get comfortable in a woman's cleavage or try to look up their skirts. This anime can not stop showing tits and panties for five seconds. But, this isn’t an anime made to be taken seriously. If you can enjoy it for it’s incredibly dumb fun, than that is probably for the best. Just don’t expect groundbreaking storytelling.
#8: Attack on Titan
No, I am not recommending this anime to Canada because this is an anime that does not take place in Japan, and rather Industrial Era Germany. No, I am not recommending this anime for how the protagonist, Eren Yeager, is treated wrongly by the world because he is part Titan and needs to be protected by his friend Mikasa and Armin. No, I am not even recommending this anime to Canada because it is about humanity being forced to hide behind a wall because they are attacked by giant monsters called Titans who do not eat for food, but just kill for the fun of it, leading to hundreds of deaths, making no one, even the main characters safe. So why am I recommending this anime to him? Because he watched Attack on Titan Abridged and liked it……. Yes, that is the only reason….. Nothing else…………. Next entry.
#7: Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt
Here is a weird one. Panty and Stocking is an anime about two angel sisters, named Panty and Stocking Anarchy, who were banished from heaven for their irresponsible behavior and they now must fight off Ghosts inside Daten City to earn their way back into Heaven. Seems like the typical anime premise, right? Well, no. Panty and Stocking are basically two selfish lazy people who are lead by an African American priest with an afro named Garterbelt who has to put up with their shit. Also, Garterbelt is voiced by the same guy who voiced Vegeta… Let that sink in. He went from a Saiyan prince, to a priest in an anime like this…. Yeah. Panty is a sex addicted maniac who wants to sleep with anything that has a penis, and uses her panties to turn them into handguns to fight demons, while Stocking is always obsessed with sweats and uses her stockings to turn them into swords. The entire anime is filled with a whole bunch of dick and sex jokes, and was made in the style of an American cartoon. This is because Ginax, after blowing their entire budget on the overly religious anime Evangelion, went to a hotel, got pissass drunk, and laughed their asses off as they watched the cartoon Drawn Together, and made their own show based off it. Yep, Panty and Stocking came from a couple of Japanese men. It’s a very filthy show, but very good, especially if Canada is into those shows you see on Cartoon Network late at night.
#6: Parasyte: The Maxim
Now, I don’t know where Canada stands when it comes to body horror, like with movies like The Thing, or games like Dead Space, but I do know he enjoys horror. So, what kind of horror anime of the recent era do I recommend? Parasyte, of course. The anime follows a high school student named Shinichi, whose hand has been taken over by a Parasyte, an alien that tries to take over the human body and use it to devour other humans in very grotesque fashion. The Parasyte in Shinichi’s arm is named Migi, and the two must work together to stop other Parasytes that try to kill them to hide their secret from the world. This anime is incredible with it’s character development. Shinichi starts out as a wimpy nerd, but soon becomes a badass with a heart. And throughout all this, he contemplates what is right and what is wrong and goes through so much changes in the anime. It’s insane. Though, why this didn’t make the top five is one fuck up. The love interest, Satomi. If you ever wanted to meet the most bipolar girl on the planet, this is her. She always changes her emotions, saying she hates Shinichi, but obviously wants the D so goddamn badly, she might as well have a neon sign saying, “Fuck me, Shinichi!” But, that’s not the point of the anime, so… this anime has purpose again…. Yay.
#5: Hellsing
I know what some of you are thinking. “Wait, didn’t Canada watch Hellsing Ultimate already”. Well, yes, he did. But, that was Hellsing ULTIMATE. Before that, there was another anime on Hellsing, called…. Hellsing. Basically, this anime is pretty much the same, only more serious, as it doesn’t have the jokes in Hellsing Ultimate that basically were not funny and more distracting. Hellsing is basically all serious from start to finish. The only thing I know Canada will hate about Hellsing is that The Major is not in this anime. Since this was being made before the manga it was based on was finished, the Major could not be in it. Instead, they had a different villain named Incognito. I mean, he’s okay, but he ain’t no Major… But at least Jan Valentine is in both, so that makes it better, right? Also, Seras isn’t much of the comic relief in this one. She actually acts like a person who takes their job seriously, so that’s a plus in my book.
#4: Baccano!
After Canada disliked Black Lagoon, I had to be VERY careful with how I treat another action anime that has gunfights in it. Baccano is an anime that takes place in different times and places at once. In the 1930s, a train called the Flying Pussyfoot (Yes, that is the name) is being attacked by mobsters, and a psychotic killer named The Rail Tracer. In New York, a scientist and his assistant are risking their lives to find elixirs of immortality. As all this happens, two rival mafias are soon ready to go to war with many killing each other. Though all of these seem completely different, they all come back together as they are pieced together by the kind thieves Mirai and Isaac. This anime can get really violent when it comes to how much damage one can do with basically ANYTHING. Bullets, pipes, baseball bats, even fists can be used to turn a person's face into a bruised bleeding mess. However, I know Canada, and I know Canada loves gunfights, and Baccano has gunfights. It also has a story, but knowing Canada, he won’t give a shit probably.
#3: Devilman
Well, this is probably the most violent anime on this list. Devilman follows a shy teenage by the name of Akira who is killed in a bike accident. However, he is revived when a demon named Devilman takes over his body and uses it to take over the world. However, when he meets Akira’s friend, Miki, he falls in love with her and vows to protect humanity for her from his fellow demons, who were once his comrades. This anime can get VERY brutal, showing lots of disemboweling, beheadings, and dismemberment. This shit is hardcore as fuck. However, Devilman is not some perfect hero. He wishes to protect humanity from demons, but seeing them as criminals and being very easy to be corrupted and even kill other humans, he questions if saving humans is worth it and if his demons comrades have the right idea to kill them. Also, Rob Zombie based their song, Super Charger Heaven, off of this anime. So, yeah, Rob Zombie watches anime…… now let THAT sink into your head.
#2: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure
Yes, I know. I never shut up about this anime. I’m sorry I’m a fan of this. But seriously, this anime is awesome. It starts in 1888 London, with Part 1: Phantom Blood. with the first Jojo, Jonathan Joestar, as he tries to protect the world from his adopted brother, Dio Brando, who has become a power hungry vampire, and must defeat him and his army of the undead with the help of Will A. Zeppeli and Robert Edward O. Speedwagon. Part 2: Battle Tendency follows the grandson of Jonathan, Joseph Joestar in 1936 America, who must defeat the three Pillar Men, a group of powerful ancient vampires, named Wamuu, Esidisi, and Kars, with the help of the grandson of Zeppeli’s grandson, Caesar, and his mentor Lisa Lisa. Part 3: Stardust Crusaders, follows the grandson of Joseph Joestar, Jotaro Kujo, as he travels to Egypt with the help of his grandfather Joseph, an Egyptian fortune teller named Muhammad Avdol, a high school student named Noriaki Kakyoin, a French swordsman named Jean Pierre Polnareff, and a boston terrier with an attitude named Iggy, as they go to defeat Dio with the power of Stands, spirits that fight and protect their user. The anime has a whole bunch of musical references. Some being clever, like Will A. Zeppeli being named after Led Zeppelin, and some not being so clever, like Esidisi, which, if it wasn’t obvious enough, was a reference to AC/DC. When the villain of your series is named after Ronnie James Dio, you know it must be good… And yes, there is a Stand named Metallica…. If that doesn’t interest Canada right away, I don’t know what will.
#1: Monster
Yeah, I showed Canada a few clips of this before, and he thought “Creepy”... And that’s it. But goddamn it, I know he loves that psychological horror stuff, so I highly recommend this anime to him. The anime follows a doctor named Dr. Tenma, who will soon be head doctor at the hospital he works at and will soon marry his fiancee. However, after choosing to save the life of a little boy instead of the mayor, his entire life goes downhill. He is permanently demoted and his fiancee leaves him. But Tenma believes that he did good by saving the boy. That boy would grow up to be Johan Liebert, a man who killed his parents and shot himself, but since he was saved, he believes that it is his destiny to continue killing and thanks Tenma for saving. Tenma finds it to be his fault that this all happened, and now must do what he can to go and stop Johan by any means necessary, while keeping the sister of Johan, Anna, safe from him, while avoiding the crafty detective Heinrich. This anime is VERY dark. As a horror anime, it doesn’t rely on gore and violence like most horror anime. It relies on showing you that humans are a terrible person, and that everyone is corrupted by greed, or hatred, or something. Yes, this includes the viewer. This anime tells you that you, as a human being, are a horrible person, and it wants to remind you that you are a horrible person, and it does an amazing job at that. This is easily the darkest but most well respected anime out there, and apparently, it was so not anime-like, that it was even shown on Si-Fi. If that doesn’t convince Canada to watch this fucking masterpiece, I don’t know what will.
Well, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it. With that said, I will see you all next time.
