The roar of the cafeteria was getting out of hand. Some teens screaming in horror. Others encouraging the fight. Some just speechless. i tried my hardest to push through the crowd to see what was going on. I heard the chanting of kids saying “FightFight!” Along with my best friend’s name somewhere in there in that chant. Matthew never learned. Matthew is my best friend and he can never seem to stop and think before doing something. He speaks his mind too quickly and always thinks that people should either put up or shut up. I’m not surprised that he would think that, I mean boys will be boys. But ever since Matt’s mom left he has been…..easily angered for the past couple of months. I’m constantly having to bail him out of every fight. I finally got to the scene. It wasn’t that bad. Matthew wasn’t hurt at all as usual but the other dude looked…..“harmed”.
“Matthew! Let it Go!” The other guy was already on the floor but that wasn’t enough. “Matthew! Caught it out!” When I saw he wasn’t listening I stepped out in front of him. As soon as he looked into my eyes he knew he had went to far. We walked away. Matt just had his head down. We got the car and we sat in silence for a while; just staring at the full parking lot.
Finally, “i’m sorry.”
“What did he do this time?” My tone was harsh.
“Wait. I tried to control myself…….” Then i heard his voice crack.
“He was talking about my Mom Jaz.”
I looked at him for the first time since we had gotten in the car.
“Fine. But I’m not bailing you out next time Matthew. I’m serious. You’re lucky none of the administrators heard.”
“Yeah”. He huffed.
“So how bad does he look Matthew?”
“Well….he could pass for tripping in the cafeteria.” I saw a grin sweep his face.
“I’m serious Mathew!”
“So am I ! He doesn’t look that bad!”
I rolled my eyes and turned on the radio. it was quite for a while.
“You look pretty today. I like the new hair color.” He tried to make me loosen up.
I sighed. “You’re forgiven. No need to be a kiss-up.”
“Thank you Jaz. And I wasn’t kidding when I said you looked pretty today.”
i just rolled my eyes and smiled. He was always doing that. Matthew and i have been best friends since at least 3rd grade. I know still til this day he likes me. But…..Right now i just dont feel that strong for him= I mean dont get me wrong, it’s not like his is ugly. He was amazing brown eyes that any girl could get lost in and pitch black soft hair that can make anyone take a second look at. The boy has charm that hundreds of guys would kill for. But..he is my best friend. And for right now, that is all he is gonna be
“Matthew! Let it Go!” The other guy was already on the floor but that wasn’t enough. “Matthew! Caught it out!” When I saw he wasn’t listening I stepped out in front of him. As soon as he looked into my eyes he knew he had went to far. We walked away. Matt just had his head down. We got the car and we sat in silence for a while; just staring at the full parking lot.
Finally, “i’m sorry.”
“What did he do this time?” My tone was harsh.
“Wait. I tried to control myself…….” Then i heard his voice crack.
“He was talking about my Mom Jaz.”
I looked at him for the first time since we had gotten in the car.
“Fine. But I’m not bailing you out next time Matthew. I’m serious. You’re lucky none of the administrators heard.”
“Yeah”. He huffed.
“So how bad does he look Matthew?”
“Well….he could pass for tripping in the cafeteria.” I saw a grin sweep his face.
“I’m serious Mathew!”
“So am I ! He doesn’t look that bad!”
I rolled my eyes and turned on the radio. it was quite for a while.
“You look pretty today. I like the new hair color.” He tried to make me loosen up.
I sighed. “You’re forgiven. No need to be a kiss-up.”
“Thank you Jaz. And I wasn’t kidding when I said you looked pretty today.”
i just rolled my eyes and smiled. He was always doing that. Matthew and i have been best friends since at least 3rd grade. I know still til this day he likes me. But…..Right now i just dont feel that strong for him= I mean dont get me wrong, it’s not like his is ugly. He was amazing brown eyes that any girl could get lost in and pitch black soft hair that can make anyone take a second look at. The boy has charm that hundreds of guys would kill for. But..he is my best friend. And for right now, that is all he is gonna be
I sit in the darkness as I stare up at the moon above me. I hear your voice and know I will be okay. Even if you are dead and gone you are always with me. When I cry you are with me. When I laugh you are with me. When I dream you are with me. When I can't find you I get scared. But moments later you there to hold my hand. Only I can see you. Your body may not be here but your spirit is with me. It feels as if you have never gone. Now I feel much better because I know now you can never be taken away from me again. I may die someday but don't worry because you are with me.
R.I.P - Grandma Rose
"I love you"
R.I.P - Grandma Rose
"I love you"
Your words may stay trapped
inside your own mind
but I can feel them
although they're confined.
I can read your face
as if it were a book
your mind is unpleasant,
as you simmer and cook.
You give into hatred
your temper boils over
and it's all done
in less than a blur.
Your words do sting
but it does not matter
for in the end
I will not shatter.
In the end
you will be the victim
of yourself
in the verbatim.
You are trapped,
you are your own
enemy; your own life
you have already blown.
It is sad, truly;
closing yourself off
with violence;
for now you may scoff.
In the end,
karma is our keeper
she is the ultimatum
of the Grim Reaper.
inside your own mind
but I can feel them
although they're confined.
I can read your face
as if it were a book
your mind is unpleasant,
as you simmer and cook.
You give into hatred
your temper boils over
and it's all done
in less than a blur.
Your words do sting
but it does not matter
for in the end
I will not shatter.
In the end
you will be the victim
of yourself
in the verbatim.
You are trapped,
you are your own
enemy; your own life
you have already blown.
It is sad, truly;
closing yourself off
with violence;
for now you may scoff.
In the end,
karma is our keeper
she is the ultimatum
of the Grim Reaper.
Phasing in
and phasing out
forgetting what
I originally sought.
Colors blur
and meld together
I dance so close
beside the heather.
I'm on the edge
of oblivion
I can't trust
What I've been seeing.
The world whirs around
I can't see straight
can you tell me
how I won this fate?
My thoughts
do vary from time to time
but they're always the same:
of my internal rhyme.
My life beats
to it's own accord
always repeating
it's crazy chord.
And so, to you
I'll depart my advice
perhaps to your life
it's good to add some spice.
-Starwarsfangirl
6/23/1
and phasing out
forgetting what
I originally sought.
Colors blur
and meld together
I dance so close
beside the heather.
I'm on the edge
of oblivion
I can't trust
What I've been seeing.
The world whirs around
I can't see straight
can you tell me
how I won this fate?
My thoughts
do vary from time to time
but they're always the same:
of my internal rhyme.
My life beats
to it's own accord
always repeating
it's crazy chord.
And so, to you
I'll depart my advice
perhaps to your life
it's good to add some spice.
-Starwarsfangirl
6/23/1
Every four years the two-headed monster rises from its pit, and we have a choice between this head or that. Their party line separation is a phantasm haunting reason. It's a choice between this diseased hand or that diseased hand. We are criminals who defy law. They are criminals who defy freedom. Endless heads of a bureaucratic hydra, and so the smiling wounds we draw across each neck. While they lounge in the decadence of their capitols and dream up new rules of social conduct, we shall sink a knife in every Caesar, we shall aim our rifles and fire at every president, every senator, every statesman. Wake up. There won't be any change. In the sewer of capitalism, only the scum will rise.
My heart has been punctured
It has never been broken
I’ve been filled with heartache
But that was unspoken
I’m always lonely
But I’m never alone
I live in a house
But my mind is my home
I’m not dead
But I’m not always alive
You’ve never been me
So you think I’ll survive
I’m always so happy
Yet I’m always so sad
I’m always so calm
Yet I always feel mad
Maybe I’m normal
And maybe I’m sane
But I’m not feeling right
I don’t feel the same... <3 <3 <3
It has never been broken
I’ve been filled with heartache
But that was unspoken
I’m always lonely
But I’m never alone
I live in a house
But my mind is my home
I’m not dead
But I’m not always alive
You’ve never been me
So you think I’ll survive
I’m always so happy
Yet I’m always so sad
I’m always so calm
Yet I always feel mad
Maybe I’m normal
And maybe I’m sane
But I’m not feeling right
I don’t feel the same... <3 <3 <3
this is a poem i wrote. i hope everyone likes it. this is the first time i have posted any of my writings. Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Moonlight comes through the window and softly hits on your face
and it takes my breath away As I look at the wonder the wonder of my life
and it takes my breath away As I look at the wonder the wonder of my life
I draw a pretty picture A picture on my wrist The picture keeps getting bigger Every time my feelings are dismissed You think the words don’t hurt me That the actions don’t cause me pain You think that if I smile I must be happy again I’m not going to blame it on you Because I know that its my choice But it only ever happens when you raise your voice I hear the screams and shouts And I reach out for the blade I do it without thinking Then I look at the mess I’ve made It looks ugly and it stings But it takes away the pain And the hurt Of all the other things I know you’ll tell me its wrong If you ever find out That’s why I keep my arms covered I don’t want you to scream and shout I keep my arms covered so no one else can see The scratches ive made on my arms There something that’s private to me
