Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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After reading the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" by bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella Swan a heroine. If you do, you have got a really great deal of imagination, or a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight fans would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens aren't heroes or heroines because they are just so pathetic and lousy as heroes. They can't strategize at all and despite their many gifts, the villains get them all the time.

The Cullens aren't good heroes also because of their double standard. They claim to care for humans, but they don't. Sometimes, I think they have lost focus and direction. Carlisle doesn't want to eat humans because he cares for them. That's very noble. But his children's actions have put humans in danger and they have come to see Carlisle's cause as something that is more for their own personal benefits than something to fight for.

Case in point:

Twilight: The game is between the SEVEN Cullens and the Unholy Trinity-James, Victoria and Laurent. In fact, Laurent quit and decided he didn't want to be part of it anymore. So, it's the SEVEN Cullens against two evil vampires. If that's not enough, they have a mind reader, a psychic, a strong dude, and an empath within their ranks. James and Victoria are severely outnumbered, and in any OTHER story, they would be vampire sashimi in a jiffy. But apparently not in this one. For some reason, James and Victoria manage to lead the Cullens in a wild goose chase and very nearly get away with their game. Which leads me to the conclusion that the Cullens aren't the brightest bulbs in the toolshed.

New Moon- After Edward and Bella's reunion, the Volturi break for lunch. Edward and Alice could have stopped the Volturi from killing the poor innocent victims. But what do they do? Edward sits a frightened Bella on his lap and WHISPERS comforting things in her ear while a group of people are brutally murdered next door. If I were Bella, I would yell at Edward to go rescue them. If I were me, I call up Buffy and a few vampire slayers and wage war on the Volturi.

Breaking Dawn- This one takes the cake. The Cullens' blatant disregard for human life is shown when they invite non-vegetarian vampires to fight for them. Edward even lends his cars to the vamps. I don't like their double standard at all. For four books, Carlisle has been criticising the Volturi for eating humans. Then, in Breaking Dawn, he shuts both eyes and closes his ears to his FRIENDS eating humans. Suddenly, hunting humans are okay because his friends do it.

The Cullens: Heroes? Definitely not.
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The best New Moon review ever!!!! If you're a Twilight fan, DO NOT WATCH! YOU WILL BE OFFENDED!
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Poor husband. =P 3:45 Someone's gonna get REALLY mad...
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