End of Part 157:
Carl’s POV:
I couldn’t go back. What if she came here, looking for me? They’d probably ban me from ever returning to this pool; they’d probably ban everyone. If Mariella came looking for me, they’d kill her. I shuddered at that thought.
Come on, Jodie suggested, holding out her hand to me. I’ll know when she’s coming back; we’ll meet her here.
After a second of hesitation, I took Jodie’s hand. After all, what else did I have? I couldn’t wait here forever, and Jodie was the only one I could trust now. Still, it didn’t feel natural holding her hand. It was too warm, too soft, and too… too… alive. I should be holding Mariella’s hand: cold, gentle yet hard…
A single tear slithered down my cheek as I slid into the water with Jodie. As I swam back home, I didn’t feel relaxed. The water didn’t feel like home; the smell was off, the temperature too high. I wanted cold and fresh and sweet… not warm and salty. I didn’t belong here anymore, yet I had to be here. I felt safer on the land than in the water; my home was in Mariella’s arms, surrounded by trees and grass and sunlight. I belonged there. I wasn’t sure what I was anymore, but I knew one thing: I wasn’t a mer-boy anymore.
………………………
Part 162
Carl’s POV:
3 months later…
Everyday stretched on forever; everyday followed the same monotonous pattern. Everyday was another crack to my heart; another tear; another forced smile. Everyday was another thought: where is she? How is she? What’s she doing? Is she alive? Is she thinking about me? Will she get back in time? Or will we all be massacred before I get to see her again?
I hadn’t been back to the pool since she’d left; once I’d returned here, I hadn’t been brave enough to go back to the place of all that love, and all that memory, and all that pain. If I went back there, I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight the onslaught of tears; I was terrified that, if I let myself really cry, I might never stop.
I hadn’t spoken to Jodie, either, since we’d returned here. Sometimes, our eyes would meet as I swam aimlessly about, following mother. She would smile at me, but I couldn’t smile back; she was the one person who I felt I didn’t have to force myself to smile at, because she somehow understood how much this hurt. No one else would believe me, if I even wanted to tell them or they even wanted to know. It was like I wasn’t here most of the time. The only people who acknowledged my existence were mother, my cousin Jamie – despite his mother glaring at him if he so much as smiled at me – my elder brother Liam, and Jodie. To everyone else, I was invisible; a nobody. To be honest, I didn’t care.
None of them mattered to me. I had used to love my mother, but now she was just someone I was obliged to love; I used to care for Jamie, in an indulging, frustrated sort of way. He’d been one of my good friends, as annoying as he was. Now, though, he was just a kid. He would never understand me, as much as he wanted to. He idolised me, and he’d never done me any harm, which was why I felt bad for turning my back on him. As for my brother… well, he had never really mattered to me. We barely spoke, or spent time together. I had always thought he was an over confident, arrogant, big-headed idiot.
Jodie and Mariella were the only people I considered friends now. Jodie had chosen me and Mariella over her whole life and her friends. I could trust her; if I ever needed to talk to anyone, it would be her, I was sure. I couldn’t live without Mariella; it was as simple as that.
Carl’s POV:
I couldn’t go back. What if she came here, looking for me? They’d probably ban me from ever returning to this pool; they’d probably ban everyone. If Mariella came looking for me, they’d kill her. I shuddered at that thought.
Come on, Jodie suggested, holding out her hand to me. I’ll know when she’s coming back; we’ll meet her here.
After a second of hesitation, I took Jodie’s hand. After all, what else did I have? I couldn’t wait here forever, and Jodie was the only one I could trust now. Still, it didn’t feel natural holding her hand. It was too warm, too soft, and too… too… alive. I should be holding Mariella’s hand: cold, gentle yet hard…
A single tear slithered down my cheek as I slid into the water with Jodie. As I swam back home, I didn’t feel relaxed. The water didn’t feel like home; the smell was off, the temperature too high. I wanted cold and fresh and sweet… not warm and salty. I didn’t belong here anymore, yet I had to be here. I felt safer on the land than in the water; my home was in Mariella’s arms, surrounded by trees and grass and sunlight. I belonged there. I wasn’t sure what I was anymore, but I knew one thing: I wasn’t a mer-boy anymore.
………………………
Part 162
Carl’s POV:
3 months later…
Everyday stretched on forever; everyday followed the same monotonous pattern. Everyday was another crack to my heart; another tear; another forced smile. Everyday was another thought: where is she? How is she? What’s she doing? Is she alive? Is she thinking about me? Will she get back in time? Or will we all be massacred before I get to see her again?
I hadn’t been back to the pool since she’d left; once I’d returned here, I hadn’t been brave enough to go back to the place of all that love, and all that memory, and all that pain. If I went back there, I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight the onslaught of tears; I was terrified that, if I let myself really cry, I might never stop.
I hadn’t spoken to Jodie, either, since we’d returned here. Sometimes, our eyes would meet as I swam aimlessly about, following mother. She would smile at me, but I couldn’t smile back; she was the one person who I felt I didn’t have to force myself to smile at, because she somehow understood how much this hurt. No one else would believe me, if I even wanted to tell them or they even wanted to know. It was like I wasn’t here most of the time. The only people who acknowledged my existence were mother, my cousin Jamie – despite his mother glaring at him if he so much as smiled at me – my elder brother Liam, and Jodie. To everyone else, I was invisible; a nobody. To be honest, I didn’t care.
None of them mattered to me. I had used to love my mother, but now she was just someone I was obliged to love; I used to care for Jamie, in an indulging, frustrated sort of way. He’d been one of my good friends, as annoying as he was. Now, though, he was just a kid. He would never understand me, as much as he wanted to. He idolised me, and he’d never done me any harm, which was why I felt bad for turning my back on him. As for my brother… well, he had never really mattered to me. We barely spoke, or spent time together. I had always thought he was an over confident, arrogant, big-headed idiot.
Jodie and Mariella were the only people I considered friends now. Jodie had chosen me and Mariella over her whole life and her friends. I could trust her; if I ever needed to talk to anyone, it would be her, I was sure. I couldn’t live without Mariella; it was as simple as that.