The hour afterwards, I went off with these penguins to see the zoo in it's entirety. Skipper the Skipper (Woah, ego trip there. O.e) advised that we start at the main gate to get this tour through. So instead of heading there on foot, they led me towards the inside of their Habitat. Climbing down, I saw that their home life was pretty simple and rugged: Ugh, barbaric dwellings, my foot stool has better style than anything in here. All I saw inside was solid concrete, and only one window that only gave you an underwater view, it would be nice, if it had FISH SWIMMING IN IT!!! Then again, this is a penguin habitat, can't expect much. Then I saw their bunks: Horrid, I am NOT subjecting myself to sleeping on solid concrete, sure I won't mind sleeping on the floor, as long as it had carpets or wood panelling. It had neither, just a bat of solid concrete. My Capital has solid floors, but at least they're styled with marble and gold lining. I was discomforted, and Skipper grinned when he saw it in my eyes.
"Ah, the HQ too much for ya? Guess that's what happens when you're royally lazy all your life,"
I frowned intensely, how dare he speak before thinking, I work just as hard as the average man, I have a job: I spend meetings in many office blocks, political debates, diplomatic meetings between nations, I cook my own food, I have my own children to watch and care for, I have a heart valve problem that STILL hasn't gone away for 48 years!! How dare he!!!
"I hope you realize that although the amenities are few, and very far from my standards, I can manage well. Besides, aren't we taking a tour of the Zoo?"
"Ah yes, Rico!! Lockpick!!"
Rico then vomited up a lockpick, and handed it gently to Skipper.
"What's that supposed to do?"
"Well, we are going to take a-"
SMACK!! Never had I heard a blow that loud, the poor boy, Private then stopped immediately.
"As I was SUPPOSED to say, we're taking an alternate route that's under the zoo as a shortcut to the entrance,"
"There is no way you could have built anything from no tools or equipment,"
"Rico!!!"
Again, I heard that sickening cough as Rico vomited up another item, this time it was a spoon.
"Spoons...?"
"Shovels Richland!!"
"Richard,"
"No one cares," said Skipper with a smile.
Oh they will, in time, I thought.
"...Anyways, where is this stupid tunnel?"
"Right here Rich," he then headed to a large fish mounted on a wall, reading "Private's 1st Prize" and pulled it open, in the way you would a door, and I saw a small, dark, hole.
"Ah, I see, let's go in then!!"
"Aye aye Richard!!" saluted Private.
SMACK!!! Second time, maybe he's trying to keep his stumped ego up and about. This time, Private rubbed his cheek. Poor kid, it's like the abused children in America.
"Alright men, move out," said Skipper, walking inside.
I soon smiled and pushed past him, winking as I brought out a flashlight and tossed Private and Kowalski flashlights.
"Oh dear, it seems I've ran out of flashlights, does the bottomless pit have anymore in his stomach?"
"Yes, he does, Rico!!"
Rico soon commenced vomiting, but this time, I heard the slimy sound of saliva moving as two lamps slid out his beak, god it's going to take a while to get used to....
"Alright, onward!!" I yelled, getting my light on, Kowalski soon ran up to Skipper and whispered in his ear, I only saw Skipper nod, but I could tell it wasn't about me, since Skipper is responding seriously about it, nodding without batting a single smirk.
"Kowalski tells me that there's been a blocked off tunnel, rains from last week flooded it up with mud, and the long since dry mud blocked the route, we'll have to go to the tunnel that exits at the Kangaroo Enclosure....." he gulped.
I soon smiled and grinned widely. Kangaroo? Aw, how pathetic, those little bouncy mammals from the land down under? You must be joking, the Kangaroo populus in Australia love me there, they've even politely given me a piece of Australia to me: it was a small roughly carved boomerang, not the fake novelty piles of crap that I see in useless Wal-Mart's, but an actual Australian boomerang, in fact, I still carry it around along with my Glock in my gun holster. Sadly, I didn't bring the gun holster, but I did tuck it in my inside left pocket in my coat.
"Aw, is the Skippy Peanut Butter boy afraid of a commonly fanaticized creature? Is the big boy afraid of bouncing things in the outback?" I asked with a high-pitched baby-ish voice.
"Richard, not to be rude, but the Kangaroo is commonly misconceptionized as a docile, harmless creature, but in truth, they are very territorial, and often dangerous in kicking," said Kowalski.
"Ah, well you see, I have allies who ARE kangaroos, so I'm perfectly fine on my own accord," I stood on my toes and smiled, charmingly.
"Well, we'll let you meet him once we're up there, Kowalski, where's the ladder out to the tunnel exit?" asked Skipper.
"Around here it should be, but if you have no luck, then pull out the retractable one above," said Kowalski.
"I don't see it!!"
Oh good f*cking god, it's RIGHT ABOVE YOU!!
"Move it tubby," I shoved him aside and jumped up, pulling the string to activate the retractable ladder, it soon swung down, and I turned off my light, climbing up first.
"Skippah, I don't think we should allow Richard to meet Joey, he could get really badly hurt!!" warned Private.
Skipper soon whispered and smiled. "Shhh.... He doesn't know that, besides, he's immortal, he'll be fine,"
I overheard him easily, talking in a soft voice, but being able to be heard 3 yards away, isn't whispering. I decided to let it slide, I know my plan for this "Joey" person.
"Alright, here we are!!" I said, opening the cover hatch and getting out to see a low brick wall, in front of me.
"That's Joey's habitat..." said Kowalski with caution.
"Richard please don't go!! I don't wish you to get hurt!!" yelled Private. Receiving a slap from Skitler- I mean Skipper.
"I'll be fine young one, I promise," I smiled at Private in the way I would smile at my children, then patted his shoulder.
I soon approached the wall, then proceeded to climb up, I soon got to the top of the wall, then saw him, a large male kangaroo, in his species, he is a fine specimen, genetics have perfected his anatomy, strong, and observative all at once. I then took the boomerang out of my left pocket, then tapped it on the metal poles jutting out the top of the wall repeatedly.
"Jooooey... Heads up 'mate," I then tossed it to him, and it soon flew in a beautiful arc. I looked down and saw him catch it in his paw. He then gave me a look that said it all to me: You're dead stupid Penguin.
"What do you want?!" he asked me, frowning intensely.
"Look at the symbol on it, no joke, look," I pointed at the boomerang.
He soon took a look, then saw a symbol on the side that appeared familiar to him by the body language he's giving out clearly.
"Ah, Authenticated Aussie goods, where'd this come?" he asked.
"This is an authentic boomerang of the beautiful Australian Nation, my travels there have led me to collect this artifact from the local Kangaroo population there,"
"Ah, you've been? Nice to know. Who're you by the way? Work for them penguins?" he asked.
"Eh, the only ones who interest me are 'Walski and the young boy, I am Richard by the way," I replied.
"Bah, Private? He's okay, dunno 'bout the other one,"
"Tall and skinny? Big head? Observative?"
"Ah, nevermind that,"
"It's been a pleasure to meet a fine specimen such as you, in your species you'd be considered by most as a genetic perfection of the kangaroo,"
"How can ya tell?"
"Well, the fact that you are much larger and have more distinguished features makes it show clearly,"
"Ah, alright, want this back?" he held up the boomerang.
"Keep it, it reminds you of home, let that piece of home remain to you,"
"Alright, thanks Rich,"
"Anytime, I'll be seeing out later, till then," I headed off, a satisfied smile on my face.
"Did he- hurt you verbally?" asked Private.
"Not at all," I grinned.
"How'd you get Joey to warm up to you like that?" asked Skipper.
"Relate to him, if you just barge in uninvited, then he'll mince you alive!!! Just relate Tubby, you'll get it soon,"
"Okay, first off, it's muscle, second off, it's not uninvited if he isn't saying anything about it!!! By all mea- You know what? You've practically bothered me with your smart aleck comments, insults, and your ever-rising ego!!! If you hadn't have shown up with your bragging, egotistical thoughts, and your stupid German trash you drone on and on about then NOTHING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!!"
"........G-G-German..... Tra-ash.....?" I had been given a forceful blow to my emotions.
"YES!!!! YOU FINALLY GOT THE CLUE?! I HAVE GOTTEN TIRED OF YOUR INCESSANT YAP!!! GOODNIGHT YOU DAMNED IMPERIALIST NAZI!!!" he breathed, then sat down by the wall.
My beak dropped, and I had felt all my emotion sink into oblivion, eyes widened.
"Rich...?" asked Private gently.
"Mr. Walter?" asked Kowalski, holding my shoulder.
I didn't say a word, I then turned to Skipper, then gave such a dark expression of anger and hate swirling in my eyes, among other emotions.
How dare he, in front of others, and out loud, call me that accursed name?! Why is it so hard for me to get through his thick ego, let alone his thick head?!
I then felt my anger subside, and return to sadness as I saw others watching me, I then slapped Kowalski's flipper away roughly, then ran to the Penguin Habitat rapidly, I didn't care what was ahead, I'm pretty sure I trampled Mort, a snail, and some ant hills. I jumped into the HQ part of the habitat, then bolted the Fish bowl entrance to the ground above to not let anyone in.
"Ah, the HQ too much for ya? Guess that's what happens when you're royally lazy all your life,"
I frowned intensely, how dare he speak before thinking, I work just as hard as the average man, I have a job: I spend meetings in many office blocks, political debates, diplomatic meetings between nations, I cook my own food, I have my own children to watch and care for, I have a heart valve problem that STILL hasn't gone away for 48 years!! How dare he!!!
"I hope you realize that although the amenities are few, and very far from my standards, I can manage well. Besides, aren't we taking a tour of the Zoo?"
"Ah yes, Rico!! Lockpick!!"
Rico then vomited up a lockpick, and handed it gently to Skipper.
"What's that supposed to do?"
"Well, we are going to take a-"
SMACK!! Never had I heard a blow that loud, the poor boy, Private then stopped immediately.
"As I was SUPPOSED to say, we're taking an alternate route that's under the zoo as a shortcut to the entrance,"
"There is no way you could have built anything from no tools or equipment,"
"Rico!!!"
Again, I heard that sickening cough as Rico vomited up another item, this time it was a spoon.
"Spoons...?"
"Shovels Richland!!"
"Richard,"
"No one cares," said Skipper with a smile.
Oh they will, in time, I thought.
"...Anyways, where is this stupid tunnel?"
"Right here Rich," he then headed to a large fish mounted on a wall, reading "Private's 1st Prize" and pulled it open, in the way you would a door, and I saw a small, dark, hole.
"Ah, I see, let's go in then!!"
"Aye aye Richard!!" saluted Private.
SMACK!!! Second time, maybe he's trying to keep his stumped ego up and about. This time, Private rubbed his cheek. Poor kid, it's like the abused children in America.
"Alright men, move out," said Skipper, walking inside.
I soon smiled and pushed past him, winking as I brought out a flashlight and tossed Private and Kowalski flashlights.
"Oh dear, it seems I've ran out of flashlights, does the bottomless pit have anymore in his stomach?"
"Yes, he does, Rico!!"
Rico soon commenced vomiting, but this time, I heard the slimy sound of saliva moving as two lamps slid out his beak, god it's going to take a while to get used to....
"Alright, onward!!" I yelled, getting my light on, Kowalski soon ran up to Skipper and whispered in his ear, I only saw Skipper nod, but I could tell it wasn't about me, since Skipper is responding seriously about it, nodding without batting a single smirk.
"Kowalski tells me that there's been a blocked off tunnel, rains from last week flooded it up with mud, and the long since dry mud blocked the route, we'll have to go to the tunnel that exits at the Kangaroo Enclosure....." he gulped.
I soon smiled and grinned widely. Kangaroo? Aw, how pathetic, those little bouncy mammals from the land down under? You must be joking, the Kangaroo populus in Australia love me there, they've even politely given me a piece of Australia to me: it was a small roughly carved boomerang, not the fake novelty piles of crap that I see in useless Wal-Mart's, but an actual Australian boomerang, in fact, I still carry it around along with my Glock in my gun holster. Sadly, I didn't bring the gun holster, but I did tuck it in my inside left pocket in my coat.
"Aw, is the Skippy Peanut Butter boy afraid of a commonly fanaticized creature? Is the big boy afraid of bouncing things in the outback?" I asked with a high-pitched baby-ish voice.
"Richard, not to be rude, but the Kangaroo is commonly misconceptionized as a docile, harmless creature, but in truth, they are very territorial, and often dangerous in kicking," said Kowalski.
"Ah, well you see, I have allies who ARE kangaroos, so I'm perfectly fine on my own accord," I stood on my toes and smiled, charmingly.
"Well, we'll let you meet him once we're up there, Kowalski, where's the ladder out to the tunnel exit?" asked Skipper.
"Around here it should be, but if you have no luck, then pull out the retractable one above," said Kowalski.
"I don't see it!!"
Oh good f*cking god, it's RIGHT ABOVE YOU!!
"Move it tubby," I shoved him aside and jumped up, pulling the string to activate the retractable ladder, it soon swung down, and I turned off my light, climbing up first.
"Skippah, I don't think we should allow Richard to meet Joey, he could get really badly hurt!!" warned Private.
Skipper soon whispered and smiled. "Shhh.... He doesn't know that, besides, he's immortal, he'll be fine,"
I overheard him easily, talking in a soft voice, but being able to be heard 3 yards away, isn't whispering. I decided to let it slide, I know my plan for this "Joey" person.
"Alright, here we are!!" I said, opening the cover hatch and getting out to see a low brick wall, in front of me.
"That's Joey's habitat..." said Kowalski with caution.
"Richard please don't go!! I don't wish you to get hurt!!" yelled Private. Receiving a slap from Skitler- I mean Skipper.
"I'll be fine young one, I promise," I smiled at Private in the way I would smile at my children, then patted his shoulder.
I soon approached the wall, then proceeded to climb up, I soon got to the top of the wall, then saw him, a large male kangaroo, in his species, he is a fine specimen, genetics have perfected his anatomy, strong, and observative all at once. I then took the boomerang out of my left pocket, then tapped it on the metal poles jutting out the top of the wall repeatedly.
"Jooooey... Heads up 'mate," I then tossed it to him, and it soon flew in a beautiful arc. I looked down and saw him catch it in his paw. He then gave me a look that said it all to me: You're dead stupid Penguin.
"What do you want?!" he asked me, frowning intensely.
"Look at the symbol on it, no joke, look," I pointed at the boomerang.
He soon took a look, then saw a symbol on the side that appeared familiar to him by the body language he's giving out clearly.
"Ah, Authenticated Aussie goods, where'd this come?" he asked.
"This is an authentic boomerang of the beautiful Australian Nation, my travels there have led me to collect this artifact from the local Kangaroo population there,"
"Ah, you've been? Nice to know. Who're you by the way? Work for them penguins?" he asked.
"Eh, the only ones who interest me are 'Walski and the young boy, I am Richard by the way," I replied.
"Bah, Private? He's okay, dunno 'bout the other one,"
"Tall and skinny? Big head? Observative?"
"Ah, nevermind that,"
"It's been a pleasure to meet a fine specimen such as you, in your species you'd be considered by most as a genetic perfection of the kangaroo,"
"How can ya tell?"
"Well, the fact that you are much larger and have more distinguished features makes it show clearly,"
"Ah, alright, want this back?" he held up the boomerang.
"Keep it, it reminds you of home, let that piece of home remain to you,"
"Alright, thanks Rich,"
"Anytime, I'll be seeing out later, till then," I headed off, a satisfied smile on my face.
"Did he- hurt you verbally?" asked Private.
"Not at all," I grinned.
"How'd you get Joey to warm up to you like that?" asked Skipper.
"Relate to him, if you just barge in uninvited, then he'll mince you alive!!! Just relate Tubby, you'll get it soon,"
"Okay, first off, it's muscle, second off, it's not uninvited if he isn't saying anything about it!!! By all mea- You know what? You've practically bothered me with your smart aleck comments, insults, and your ever-rising ego!!! If you hadn't have shown up with your bragging, egotistical thoughts, and your stupid German trash you drone on and on about then NOTHING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!!"
"........G-G-German..... Tra-ash.....?" I had been given a forceful blow to my emotions.
"YES!!!! YOU FINALLY GOT THE CLUE?! I HAVE GOTTEN TIRED OF YOUR INCESSANT YAP!!! GOODNIGHT YOU DAMNED IMPERIALIST NAZI!!!" he breathed, then sat down by the wall.
My beak dropped, and I had felt all my emotion sink into oblivion, eyes widened.
"Rich...?" asked Private gently.
"Mr. Walter?" asked Kowalski, holding my shoulder.
I didn't say a word, I then turned to Skipper, then gave such a dark expression of anger and hate swirling in my eyes, among other emotions.
How dare he, in front of others, and out loud, call me that accursed name?! Why is it so hard for me to get through his thick ego, let alone his thick head?!
I then felt my anger subside, and return to sadness as I saw others watching me, I then slapped Kowalski's flipper away roughly, then ran to the Penguin Habitat rapidly, I didn't care what was ahead, I'm pretty sure I trampled Mort, a snail, and some ant hills. I jumped into the HQ part of the habitat, then bolted the Fish bowl entrance to the ground above to not let anyone in.
