This is related...right?

Knock knock?
Who's there?
You Know.
You-Know-Who?
That's right!Avada Kedavra!

How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense? *walk away*

How many weasley's does it take to light up a wand?
Seven: Ginny to look upset and do nothing, Ron to sulk, Fred and George to blow it up, Percy to yell, Charlie to hold it in front of a dragon and Bill to roll his eyes at everyone.

How many Dark Lords does it take to light up a wand?
Two: One to light it and the other to kill him and take the credit.

How many Voldemorts does it take to light up a wand?
None, now you see thats why he's called the DARK lord.

How many Weasleys...

OK, please don't hate me for this. I don't hate ALL Gryffindors. I just think the House itself is over-rated.

All the Weasley's were in Gryffindor. As they are the nicest people in the whole book, and love Harry, people love them. Therefore they love Gryffindor.

Gryffindors basicly owned Hogwarts when Harry's parents attened Hogwarts. James and Sirius mocked the living hell out of Snape, while their two allies looked on. All four of them just happen to be Gryffindor. Weird, hey?

Isn't it a bit unfair, while Harry and co. were at Hogwarts, the head and deputy head were both Gryffindors. And twice...

1. Hermione is a girl.
2. Fred and George are identical when they take Polyjuice Potion.
3. If Snape taught Defense Against The Dark Arts, the only thing you'd need to study is whatever is on Page 394.
4. It's best to eat pea soup before it eats you.
5. It's not all about wandwork.
6. Don't put your wand in your back pocket. Many wizards have blown off one or both cheeks when they did it.
7. Wrestling a Fully Grown Mountain Troll will only get you 5 points.
8.If you're alone with someone on the top of a high building...trust them.
9. Umbridge WILL have order
10. Looking for a way to force character...

THE "HARRY POTTER" SAGA is a magical tale full of adventure and magic. At least, it is for people who like to read books. For those of you who prefer your entertainment seared into your retinas through moving images, there is finally a film version in theaters. Use this cheat-sheet reference if you're a casual moviegoer confused by the strange world of Quidditch, Muggles and British children.


Harry Potter: The hero of the eponymous book series. He's the green, one-eyed monster on the movie posters.

Ministry of Magic: Government agency in charge of enforcing the rules of magic and alliteration....

Writen by Sam the Vicious Zebra

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.

5. I will not go to class skyclad.

6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was...