Chapter 18: So Tired
{Jill's POV}
We brought Randy home. He requested to die at home rather than in the hospital, and Tim and I decided we could not deny him this last request. When the chemo was not working, we tried a few other options, but nothing worked out. Slowly it had spread to his lungs. All we could do now is make him comfortable. I try to be strong during the day, show him, we love him until the end. He's become painfully thin, his hair has all fallen out, and he sleeps most of the day, tiring out so easily. The end is close, I think we can all feel it. He's laying on the couch, watching tool time, through half closed eyes. I think he's fighting to stay awake.
"Honey, why don't you take a nap?"
"I just took one." He replies barely moving.
"What would you like for dinner?"
"I'm not really hungry...."
"Sweetie you really should eat."
"I know." He pulls the blanket a little tighter around him.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Its not one of my better days." He admits, trying to conceal a yawn. I sigh slightly, and catch a glimpse of Wilson in the yard.
"I'll be right back." Randy nods and I walk out.
"Hidey-ho neighorette."
"Hi Wilson."
"How are things today?"
"Not great....Wilson, I think the end is getting close."
"Young Randy not doing well today?"
"This makes a full week of a 'bad day'. I don't know what to do."
"I'm sorry Jill...I don't know how to help you this time."
"I know....Wilson?"
"Yes?"
"How do you watch someone you love with all your heart die?" He makes no reply, he just crosses around the fence and lets me cry into his shoulder.
*****
Its obvious Randy is standing on his last legs. He sleeps most of the day, and when he is awake, he is so tired he can barely communicate with you. Randy now has a oxygen feed to help him breath as he's becoming to weak to even do that. Brad is sitting with him in the living room, and I can see Randy is trying valiantly to keep his eyes open when Brad tells him about what went on in school. Randy's untouched plate of food sits on the table a few inches away from him. He's gone from a healthy weight, to far to thin, to now, where he's merely skin stretched over bones. His face is so pale, and his eyes are hallowed out into his skull. He's been moved permantly into the living room using the couch as a makeshift bed and rest of the family can keep a closer eye on him that way. Both his brothers have really kicked into overdrive with brotherly love, and have been sticking close to him. A wheezing cough drags my attention to the two boys and I quickly get a glass of water and hurry it across the room to Randy. The blood on his hand doesn't go unnoticed, but Brad and I say nothing as Randy silently wipes it off a Kleenex. When the cancer spread to his lungs, he had started to cough up blood, and it was then we knew the end was near. Tim took a leave of absence from Tool Time, I stopped working, and Brad didn't play soccer after school anymore. Brad and I stay with him as he drifts in and out of sleep for the rest of the afternoon, eventually being joined by Tim and Mark.
"Al said Tool Time is going well." Tim says and Randy smiles tiredly.
"You'll be able to go back soon." I think we all flinched as he said it. He yawns as widely as he can, and blinks tiredly.
"Go to sleep Randy." Tim says, smiling the best he can. Randy nods and his eyelids drift shut. I glance at the rest of my family before trying to herd them to a very unenthused dinner.
End of Ch18
{Jill's POV}
We brought Randy home. He requested to die at home rather than in the hospital, and Tim and I decided we could not deny him this last request. When the chemo was not working, we tried a few other options, but nothing worked out. Slowly it had spread to his lungs. All we could do now is make him comfortable. I try to be strong during the day, show him, we love him until the end. He's become painfully thin, his hair has all fallen out, and he sleeps most of the day, tiring out so easily. The end is close, I think we can all feel it. He's laying on the couch, watching tool time, through half closed eyes. I think he's fighting to stay awake.
"Honey, why don't you take a nap?"
"I just took one." He replies barely moving.
"What would you like for dinner?"
"I'm not really hungry...."
"Sweetie you really should eat."
"I know." He pulls the blanket a little tighter around him.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Its not one of my better days." He admits, trying to conceal a yawn. I sigh slightly, and catch a glimpse of Wilson in the yard.
"I'll be right back." Randy nods and I walk out.
"Hidey-ho neighorette."
"Hi Wilson."
"How are things today?"
"Not great....Wilson, I think the end is getting close."
"Young Randy not doing well today?"
"This makes a full week of a 'bad day'. I don't know what to do."
"I'm sorry Jill...I don't know how to help you this time."
"I know....Wilson?"
"Yes?"
"How do you watch someone you love with all your heart die?" He makes no reply, he just crosses around the fence and lets me cry into his shoulder.
*****
Its obvious Randy is standing on his last legs. He sleeps most of the day, and when he is awake, he is so tired he can barely communicate with you. Randy now has a oxygen feed to help him breath as he's becoming to weak to even do that. Brad is sitting with him in the living room, and I can see Randy is trying valiantly to keep his eyes open when Brad tells him about what went on in school. Randy's untouched plate of food sits on the table a few inches away from him. He's gone from a healthy weight, to far to thin, to now, where he's merely skin stretched over bones. His face is so pale, and his eyes are hallowed out into his skull. He's been moved permantly into the living room using the couch as a makeshift bed and rest of the family can keep a closer eye on him that way. Both his brothers have really kicked into overdrive with brotherly love, and have been sticking close to him. A wheezing cough drags my attention to the two boys and I quickly get a glass of water and hurry it across the room to Randy. The blood on his hand doesn't go unnoticed, but Brad and I say nothing as Randy silently wipes it off a Kleenex. When the cancer spread to his lungs, he had started to cough up blood, and it was then we knew the end was near. Tim took a leave of absence from Tool Time, I stopped working, and Brad didn't play soccer after school anymore. Brad and I stay with him as he drifts in and out of sleep for the rest of the afternoon, eventually being joined by Tim and Mark.
"Al said Tool Time is going well." Tim says and Randy smiles tiredly.
"You'll be able to go back soon." I think we all flinched as he said it. He yawns as widely as he can, and blinks tiredly.
"Go to sleep Randy." Tim says, smiling the best he can. Randy nods and his eyelids drift shut. I glance at the rest of my family before trying to herd them to a very unenthused dinner.
End of Ch18