A Funny H/P Fanfic incl. Morgan and Rossi. :)
Written by lairofthemuses@LJ.
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“Holy moley, woman that is a serious bite.” Derek Morgan grinned as he stirred his coffee.
“What?” Emily and Dave said it at the same time, Dave backtracking into the BAU office kitchen. “Prentiss, you wouldn’t be dating a Count would you?”
“What are you talking about?” she put her mug down on the counter.
“Have a look.” Derek held up the toaster and she looked in it.
“Oh my God,” she touched the purple mark with tentative fingers. It was high up on her neck but not quite high enough to be covered by her hair. She flashbacked to making out with him that morning. It wasn’t there when she got out of the shower. She definitely would have remembered seeing it. “Don’t say a word.”
They didn’t need words; Agents Rossi and Morgan just started laughing. Emily rolled her eyes. This was never going to end.
“Shut up.”
“You told me you weren't even dating anyone.” Morgan replied.
“I…” there was no point in lying. “Just leave me alone. You all are hooking up and now you know I am. Can we just leave it at that?”
“You have to know that’s never going to happen.” Rossi said, unable to control his snicker. “That’s a hell of a hickey, Emily. Your guy needs some discipline. Doesn’t he know you work with profilers?”
“She could work with fighter pilots and they would notice that.” Morgan said.
They were both laughing again; Emily wanted the floor to swallow her whole. He was so dead when she got her hands on him…so dead.
“Good morning.” Hotch walked into the kitchen with Reid by his side.
His greeting was met with silence and when he looked at the three of them, really looked at them, Morgan and Rossi started laughing all over again.
“Did I miss something?” The Unit Chief asked.
“No.” Emily replied.
“Did you know Emily was dating a Count?” Dave asked, unable to keep back the laughter.
“I'm sorry?” Hotch raised an eyebrow.
“Look,”
“Morgan!” she exclaimed as he flipped her hair back. She pushed his hands away but Hotch had already seen what he needed to see.
He knew he was in trouble; there was no way to get around it. Hotch cleared his throat.
“Should I apologize for that, Prentiss?” he asked.
“Yeah, if you did it.” Derek said snickering.
“I'm sorry.” Hotch replied, cutting his eyes at Morgan.
“Aren’t you going to accept his apology?” Rossi asked.
“What I am going to do is make the world a better place by killing the both of you.” Prentiss said. “Leave me now.”
She couldn’t believe they actually listened to her but she could still hear their laughter coming from the bullpen. Hotch couldn’t look at her as he went to make his coffee. Reid just added some sugar to his and left. He sensed something was up and didn’t want to be in the middle of it. There was paperwork with his name written all over it. Today he would be happy to see it.
“Emily…”
“Don’t talk to me.” She said through clenched teeth.
“But…”
“You're talking.” She cut him off. “I am telling you, it’s a really bad idea right now.”
Emily took her coffee from the counter and walked out to her desk. There was going to be enough crap today; she would deal with him later.
***
“A peace offering.” Hotch put the box on her desk.
Emily looked up from her paperwork. She hadn’t spoken to him all day. Now it was evening, about seven thirty. Morgan was off to the lair for dinner with Garcia, Reid left for a dinner meeting he couldn’t miss, and Rossi was in his office as was JJ. Other agents were around but Hotch wasn’t worried about being seen. He knew this had to be done.
“What is this?” Emily asked.
“Open it.”
She rolled her eyes, pulling the gold foiled box toward her. She pulled the foil off and even though she tried not to, the smile spread across her face.
“They're butter creams."
“They're your favorites.”
“Yes they are.”
“I'm so sorry, Emily.” Hotch lowered his voice.
She looked at him but didn’t say anything. Emily opened the box and ate one. They really were good; she was going to have to savor them. She was definitely going to have to hide them from Reid.
“Apology accepted.” She replied.
“Really?”
“Sure. I know you didn’t mean it, Hotch; you’ve always respected the rules. That doesn’t mean there won't be retribution. You are not allowed anywhere near my neck for a week.”
“A week.” He managed not to say that too loud. “I think that might be a bit extreme.”
“It’s hardly enough actually but it’s the proper amount of discipline I guess.”
“Why don’t you just spank me and get it over with?”
Emily burst into laughter, quickly covering her mouth. Hotch looked around but no one noticed. They were too busy on phone calls and handling their own business.
“One week Hotch, I mean it. Thanks for the chocolate; I’ll think about your other offer.”
“You're welcome. I’ll leave you alone now.”
“Hey, wait.”
“Yeah?” he turned around.
“Let’s get out of here at a decent hour tonight.”
“Will it make you less mad at me?” Hotch asked.
“Yes.” Emily didn’t think he needed to know she was hardly mad at him. After the initial shock wore off and the boys finally grew bored with laughing, she was fine.
“Two hours.”
“One.”
“Ninety minutes.”
“You're a workaholic, Hotchner.” She grinned, eating another piece of chocolate. “Get to it, because you seriously have ninety minutes.”
He smiled a bit, just enough for his dimples to shine through.
“You're not mad at all, are you?” he asked.
“You'll find out in an hour and a half.”
Hotch went back to his office. Emily did her best to focus on work while other worthwhile activities were running through her mind. Luckily she was sitting out there alone because surely it was written all over her face. She knew it was on Hotch’s as well. It was going to be an interesting evening. Emily definitely deserved it.
Written by lairofthemuses@LJ.
_______________________________________________________
“Holy moley, woman that is a serious bite.” Derek Morgan grinned as he stirred his coffee.
“What?” Emily and Dave said it at the same time, Dave backtracking into the BAU office kitchen. “Prentiss, you wouldn’t be dating a Count would you?”
“What are you talking about?” she put her mug down on the counter.
“Have a look.” Derek held up the toaster and she looked in it.
“Oh my God,” she touched the purple mark with tentative fingers. It was high up on her neck but not quite high enough to be covered by her hair. She flashbacked to making out with him that morning. It wasn’t there when she got out of the shower. She definitely would have remembered seeing it. “Don’t say a word.”
They didn’t need words; Agents Rossi and Morgan just started laughing. Emily rolled her eyes. This was never going to end.
“Shut up.”
“You told me you weren't even dating anyone.” Morgan replied.
“I…” there was no point in lying. “Just leave me alone. You all are hooking up and now you know I am. Can we just leave it at that?”
“You have to know that’s never going to happen.” Rossi said, unable to control his snicker. “That’s a hell of a hickey, Emily. Your guy needs some discipline. Doesn’t he know you work with profilers?”
“She could work with fighter pilots and they would notice that.” Morgan said.
They were both laughing again; Emily wanted the floor to swallow her whole. He was so dead when she got her hands on him…so dead.
“Good morning.” Hotch walked into the kitchen with Reid by his side.
His greeting was met with silence and when he looked at the three of them, really looked at them, Morgan and Rossi started laughing all over again.
“Did I miss something?” The Unit Chief asked.
“No.” Emily replied.
“Did you know Emily was dating a Count?” Dave asked, unable to keep back the laughter.
“I'm sorry?” Hotch raised an eyebrow.
“Look,”
“Morgan!” she exclaimed as he flipped her hair back. She pushed his hands away but Hotch had already seen what he needed to see.
He knew he was in trouble; there was no way to get around it. Hotch cleared his throat.
“Should I apologize for that, Prentiss?” he asked.
“Yeah, if you did it.” Derek said snickering.
“I'm sorry.” Hotch replied, cutting his eyes at Morgan.
“Aren’t you going to accept his apology?” Rossi asked.
“What I am going to do is make the world a better place by killing the both of you.” Prentiss said. “Leave me now.”
She couldn’t believe they actually listened to her but she could still hear their laughter coming from the bullpen. Hotch couldn’t look at her as he went to make his coffee. Reid just added some sugar to his and left. He sensed something was up and didn’t want to be in the middle of it. There was paperwork with his name written all over it. Today he would be happy to see it.
“Emily…”
“Don’t talk to me.” She said through clenched teeth.
“But…”
“You're talking.” She cut him off. “I am telling you, it’s a really bad idea right now.”
Emily took her coffee from the counter and walked out to her desk. There was going to be enough crap today; she would deal with him later.
***
“A peace offering.” Hotch put the box on her desk.
Emily looked up from her paperwork. She hadn’t spoken to him all day. Now it was evening, about seven thirty. Morgan was off to the lair for dinner with Garcia, Reid left for a dinner meeting he couldn’t miss, and Rossi was in his office as was JJ. Other agents were around but Hotch wasn’t worried about being seen. He knew this had to be done.
“What is this?” Emily asked.
“Open it.”
She rolled her eyes, pulling the gold foiled box toward her. She pulled the foil off and even though she tried not to, the smile spread across her face.
“They're butter creams."
“They're your favorites.”
“Yes they are.”
“I'm so sorry, Emily.” Hotch lowered his voice.
She looked at him but didn’t say anything. Emily opened the box and ate one. They really were good; she was going to have to savor them. She was definitely going to have to hide them from Reid.
“Apology accepted.” She replied.
“Really?”
“Sure. I know you didn’t mean it, Hotch; you’ve always respected the rules. That doesn’t mean there won't be retribution. You are not allowed anywhere near my neck for a week.”
“A week.” He managed not to say that too loud. “I think that might be a bit extreme.”
“It’s hardly enough actually but it’s the proper amount of discipline I guess.”
“Why don’t you just spank me and get it over with?”
Emily burst into laughter, quickly covering her mouth. Hotch looked around but no one noticed. They were too busy on phone calls and handling their own business.
“One week Hotch, I mean it. Thanks for the chocolate; I’ll think about your other offer.”
“You're welcome. I’ll leave you alone now.”
“Hey, wait.”
“Yeah?” he turned around.
“Let’s get out of here at a decent hour tonight.”
“Will it make you less mad at me?” Hotch asked.
“Yes.” Emily didn’t think he needed to know she was hardly mad at him. After the initial shock wore off and the boys finally grew bored with laughing, she was fine.
“Two hours.”
“One.”
“Ninety minutes.”
“You're a workaholic, Hotchner.” She grinned, eating another piece of chocolate. “Get to it, because you seriously have ninety minutes.”
He smiled a bit, just enough for his dimples to shine through.
“You're not mad at all, are you?” he asked.
“You'll find out in an hour and a half.”
Hotch went back to his office. Emily did her best to focus on work while other worthwhile activities were running through her mind. Luckily she was sitting out there alone because surely it was written all over her face. She knew it was on Hotch’s as well. It was going to be an interesting evening. Emily definitely deserved it.
