Written by ilovetvalot.
The Chance
Touching Emily’s arm lightly as they disembarked from the BAU jet an hour after his conversation with Dave ended, Hotch said, his voice low, “Emily, we need to talk.”
Lifting uncertain dark eyes to his, she whispered, “I wondered when we’d get around to this conversation.”
“I’ve been…distracted. I apologize.”
Shrugging as he followed her to their waiting SUV, she replied, “Understandable, Hotch. When do you want to do this, Hotch.”
“I thought maybe you could come by my place tonight,” Hotch suggested uneasily.
Licking her lips, Emily murmured, “Hotch, we didn’t do a whole lot of talking the last time we tried that.”
Looking away from her, Hotch felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I know…but, there are some things that we need to discuss. I know that I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, Emily. And, I’ll understand if you tell me to go to hell, but-“
“I’ll be there, Hotch,” Emily said quietly. “You’re right. We need to clear the air between us.”
“Thank you,” he said softly. “Seven o’clock?”
Nodding wordlessly, Emily shifted uncomfortably in front of him. “I’ll see you then.”
***
Jerking his head toward his front door two hours later as the ringing doorbell echoed through his apartment, Hotch told himself to settle down. This was Emily. Emily, who he knew and trusted. Emily, who he’d known intimately. Emily. Feeling his pulse begin to race, he made himself walk toward the door. Quickly deactivating the security system, he opened the door. Staring at the attractive brunette, he offered her a rare genuine smile. “You came,” he said softly. “I wasn’t sure you would.”
“I keep my word, Hotch,” she replied quietly. “I said I’d come and I’m here,” she said, stepping inside as he gestured toward the living room.
“Let me take your coat,” he murmured, helping her slip off the red wool overcoat she wore. “Can I get you a drink?”
“A glass of wine would be nice,” Emily smiled, praying a shot of alcohol would steady her nerves. She was anxious to have this conversation over with and gain an understanding of where exactly it was that she stood with the dark haired man currently pouring her a glass of red wine. Biting her lip as she watched his sure movements, her mind flashed back to the last and only time she’d been in his apartment. The night they’d made love. No, the night she’d made love. She wasn’t sure what Hotch had been doing that night. Mostly because they’d never discussed it.
Turning and handing her the stemmed glass, Hotch motioned toward the couch. “Have a seat. Please.”
Nodding, Emily settled herself in the corner of the couch as Hotch stared at her. Taking a fortifying sip, she made a momentary decision, asking as she put her glass on the coffee table in front of her, “Hotch, why am I here?”
“I thought you and I should talk. About something other than unsubs and Foyet,” Hotch replied calmly.
“I’m assuming you’re ready to talk about what happened a month ago,” Emily returned evenly.
“Yeah. First, I need to apologize. I never meant to hurt you, Emily. I was confused and –“
“Hotch, it’s okay. One encounter doesn’t have to mean –“
“Emily, let me finish, okay? I was an ass. That next morning, I was so confused about what had happened that I just shut down. It’s my default position. It’s what I do when I don’t know what to do.”
“I understand, Hotch,” Emily said softly.
“No, you don’t,” Hotch insisted. “The thing is…watching Dave today…seeing what he’d lost…it made me realize that if I’m not careful, I’m going to end up like him. For the second time in my life. I loved Haley, Emily.”
“I know that,” Em replied, shifting uncomfortably under his penetrating gaze.
“And I didn’t fight for her when she left. I just let her go.”
“Where are you going with this, Hotch?”
“I don’t want to lose someone else because I’m too scared to take a chance,” he whispered.
“What are you saying?” Emily asked, confused.
“I want to take a chance on us…on what we could be,” he told her in a soft serious voice. “If you’re willing.”
“If I’m willing?” Emily replied faintly.
“Yes. I realize that I haven’t given you any reason to think that I’m worth the effort, personally speaking, but if you’ll just give me another chance to show you that we could do this, I think we could both have something incredible together.”
Staring at the handsome man in front of her in disbelief, Emily could only shake her head numbly. She’d envisioned a lot of things on the way over here tonight. A lot of different variations of this conversation; all of them ending with a polite brush-off. But this…this had never even entered into her imagination. “What have you done with Aaron Hotchner?” she asked blankly, eying him nervously.
“I’m here,” Hotch replied, smiling self-consciously. “Although I can understand why you think I might be a pod person right now. All I can say is that I had a wake-up call today, Emily. Not all things are guaranteed. We don’t always get more time. I want to make sure I make the most of what I do have. And I’d like to do that with you.”
“Are you serious?” Emily whispered.
“I’m game if you are, Prentiss,” Hotch grinned as he perched on the coffee table in front of her. “You’ll have to give me some time to get used to the business of being in a relationship again, but I’ll guarantee you that I’ll try a hell of a lot harder than I did with Haley.”
“The fact that you’re willing to try at all…”
“You’re worth it, Emily. I should have told you that the night we made love, but my own fear and insecurity got in the way.”
“Well, it’s not like you’ve got the market on insecurity cornered,” Emily smiled ruefully. “I’ve avoided facing you, too. It just hurt too much.”
“Hurting you was never my intention, Em. You have to believe that,” Hotch said solemnly.
“I do. I just don’t know where we go from here,” Emily whispered.
“We can go wherever you want to. I just want us to try and get there together,” Hotch replied, reaching for her hand.
“I think I can manage that,” Emily nodded.
Pulling Emily’s soft body against him, Hotch murmured, “That’s all I’m asking for, Emily. A chance.”
"A chance is all any of us really ever has," Emily said, resting her head against his broad chance. And one thing she knew with certainty was she was going to make the most of the one she had with this unbelievable man.
The Chance
Touching Emily’s arm lightly as they disembarked from the BAU jet an hour after his conversation with Dave ended, Hotch said, his voice low, “Emily, we need to talk.”
Lifting uncertain dark eyes to his, she whispered, “I wondered when we’d get around to this conversation.”
“I’ve been…distracted. I apologize.”
Shrugging as he followed her to their waiting SUV, she replied, “Understandable, Hotch. When do you want to do this, Hotch.”
“I thought maybe you could come by my place tonight,” Hotch suggested uneasily.
Licking her lips, Emily murmured, “Hotch, we didn’t do a whole lot of talking the last time we tried that.”
Looking away from her, Hotch felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I know…but, there are some things that we need to discuss. I know that I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, Emily. And, I’ll understand if you tell me to go to hell, but-“
“I’ll be there, Hotch,” Emily said quietly. “You’re right. We need to clear the air between us.”
“Thank you,” he said softly. “Seven o’clock?”
Nodding wordlessly, Emily shifted uncomfortably in front of him. “I’ll see you then.”
***
Jerking his head toward his front door two hours later as the ringing doorbell echoed through his apartment, Hotch told himself to settle down. This was Emily. Emily, who he knew and trusted. Emily, who he’d known intimately. Emily. Feeling his pulse begin to race, he made himself walk toward the door. Quickly deactivating the security system, he opened the door. Staring at the attractive brunette, he offered her a rare genuine smile. “You came,” he said softly. “I wasn’t sure you would.”
“I keep my word, Hotch,” she replied quietly. “I said I’d come and I’m here,” she said, stepping inside as he gestured toward the living room.
“Let me take your coat,” he murmured, helping her slip off the red wool overcoat she wore. “Can I get you a drink?”
“A glass of wine would be nice,” Emily smiled, praying a shot of alcohol would steady her nerves. She was anxious to have this conversation over with and gain an understanding of where exactly it was that she stood with the dark haired man currently pouring her a glass of red wine. Biting her lip as she watched his sure movements, her mind flashed back to the last and only time she’d been in his apartment. The night they’d made love. No, the night she’d made love. She wasn’t sure what Hotch had been doing that night. Mostly because they’d never discussed it.
Turning and handing her the stemmed glass, Hotch motioned toward the couch. “Have a seat. Please.”
Nodding, Emily settled herself in the corner of the couch as Hotch stared at her. Taking a fortifying sip, she made a momentary decision, asking as she put her glass on the coffee table in front of her, “Hotch, why am I here?”
“I thought you and I should talk. About something other than unsubs and Foyet,” Hotch replied calmly.
“I’m assuming you’re ready to talk about what happened a month ago,” Emily returned evenly.
“Yeah. First, I need to apologize. I never meant to hurt you, Emily. I was confused and –“
“Hotch, it’s okay. One encounter doesn’t have to mean –“
“Emily, let me finish, okay? I was an ass. That next morning, I was so confused about what had happened that I just shut down. It’s my default position. It’s what I do when I don’t know what to do.”
“I understand, Hotch,” Emily said softly.
“No, you don’t,” Hotch insisted. “The thing is…watching Dave today…seeing what he’d lost…it made me realize that if I’m not careful, I’m going to end up like him. For the second time in my life. I loved Haley, Emily.”
“I know that,” Em replied, shifting uncomfortably under his penetrating gaze.
“And I didn’t fight for her when she left. I just let her go.”
“Where are you going with this, Hotch?”
“I don’t want to lose someone else because I’m too scared to take a chance,” he whispered.
“What are you saying?” Emily asked, confused.
“I want to take a chance on us…on what we could be,” he told her in a soft serious voice. “If you’re willing.”
“If I’m willing?” Emily replied faintly.
“Yes. I realize that I haven’t given you any reason to think that I’m worth the effort, personally speaking, but if you’ll just give me another chance to show you that we could do this, I think we could both have something incredible together.”
Staring at the handsome man in front of her in disbelief, Emily could only shake her head numbly. She’d envisioned a lot of things on the way over here tonight. A lot of different variations of this conversation; all of them ending with a polite brush-off. But this…this had never even entered into her imagination. “What have you done with Aaron Hotchner?” she asked blankly, eying him nervously.
“I’m here,” Hotch replied, smiling self-consciously. “Although I can understand why you think I might be a pod person right now. All I can say is that I had a wake-up call today, Emily. Not all things are guaranteed. We don’t always get more time. I want to make sure I make the most of what I do have. And I’d like to do that with you.”
“Are you serious?” Emily whispered.
“I’m game if you are, Prentiss,” Hotch grinned as he perched on the coffee table in front of her. “You’ll have to give me some time to get used to the business of being in a relationship again, but I’ll guarantee you that I’ll try a hell of a lot harder than I did with Haley.”
“The fact that you’re willing to try at all…”
“You’re worth it, Emily. I should have told you that the night we made love, but my own fear and insecurity got in the way.”
“Well, it’s not like you’ve got the market on insecurity cornered,” Emily smiled ruefully. “I’ve avoided facing you, too. It just hurt too much.”
“Hurting you was never my intention, Em. You have to believe that,” Hotch said solemnly.
“I do. I just don’t know where we go from here,” Emily whispered.
“We can go wherever you want to. I just want us to try and get there together,” Hotch replied, reaching for her hand.
“I think I can manage that,” Emily nodded.
Pulling Emily’s soft body against him, Hotch murmured, “That’s all I’m asking for, Emily. A chance.”
"A chance is all any of us really ever has," Emily said, resting her head against his broad chance. And one thing she knew with certainty was she was going to make the most of the one she had with this unbelievable man.
