Chapter 5
The soft tap of fingers against a keyboard mixed with a gentle drone of voices from a radio atop a bookshelf in the corner, filled Lisa Cuddy’s office with the quiet sounds of her work. Grabbing her mouse, Lisa tapped it twice, effectively sending the last of her email correspondence scurrying across the World Wide Web. Finally finished returning her long list of emails, she maneuvered the mouse up and signed out of her inbox before leaned back in her chair and giving her body a well deserved stretch. Stifling a yawn with the back of her hand, Cuddy glanced across her office at the clock near the door. Her eyes widened in surprise as she registered the time that it read. She could hardly comprehend that it was 3:55pm. She had been working at her desk non-stop since Wilson had dropped her off at her office door some six hours earlier, having not stopped for so much as a bathroom break since then.

Coffee with Wilson had turned into much more than she had intended. All she had meant to do was let off a little steam in hopes of freeing her mind of all things Gregory House, but then again maybe she was deceiving herself on that fact. Truth was if she wanted to bad mouth House and wanted someone to just sit and agree with her, Wilson wasn’t the right man for the job. He was House’s best friend and was blatantly for a House/Cuddy romance. James was not afraid to admit that House was bastard most of the time, but he was also the first to point of out how and why she and House were maybe not the worst idea in the world as well. And damned him if he wasn’t right, for as much she wanted to just hate House or simply be indifferent to him, the fact of the matter was there was something between them, something that just…clicked. In the past year she had been out with many men, of which the most she could say of the best of them was that they were big dull dudes. Sure she had been sexually attracted to a few, but not one of them had been able to stimulate her mind, as well as her body, like House. Simply arguing over a crazy procedure with him did more to turn her on than all the candle lit dinners and wooing her past dates had done to try to win her. Now, she would be the first to admit that House was rude, abrasive and crude, but he was also completely brilliant, truly funny and when he put his mind to it even sweet. He made her think. He pushed her to be more and he never let her settle for second best, not to mention what he did to her physically. As his intense blue eyes passed though her mind, Cuddy gave herself a shake. This was the very reason she had dove into her paperwork…she needed to put this vicious circle of thoughts to rest. After all if he wasn’t willing to consider something more between them why bother with her musings about him?

Shaking her head a bit, Lisa pushed her chair back from her desk and stood. Making her way to the small coffee maker near the door, she grabbed the pot and went to the bathroom and filled it. After dumping the water in and filling the basket with coffee grounds, she flipped the switch. As the familiar sound of water heating filled the room, she turned her eyes up and out through the glass walls of her office. As she waited for the coffee to finish, she gazed out at the bustle of the clinic. She watched as nurses answered phones and tapped away on computers and as patients sat waiting, some of their concerns obvious even through the glass, others not. Watching everything and nothing at the same time, Cuddy’s mind wandering once again to her morning conversation with Wilson.

“I just…I mean, I guess I always figured he’d never be so hard up that he’d actually have to pay to get laid,” she mumbled into her latte then set it down without having taken a drink.

Wilson smirked at her, “Interesting choice of words,” he quipped under arched eyebrows.

In spite of her mood, Lisa couldn’t help by smile a little. “You know what I mean,” she sighed, picking up her coffee again, “It’s not like House is exactly homely. I find it hard to believe he can’t find a single girl at a bar he can take home and have his way with,” she sighed setting her cup down again without drinking.

“Would the idea that he has continual one night stands with random women be easier for you to accept than him sleeping with prostitutes?” James countered gentle.

Lisa shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She hadn’t considered that before. What if House has spent to last 10 years sleeping with every nurse in the hospital? Would that be easier for her to swallow? Was it even any of her business what he did and whom? They were, after all, only friends…well kissing friends; but it wasn’t like House was trying to bed her, nor had he shown any interest in being more than feuding co-workers. Looking down into her cup, she let the thoughts percolate. “I don’t like the idea of him sleeping around either,” she finally admitted slowly, not looking up from her cup.

Wilson nodded and reached across the table. “Lisa, he lonely and…” he began.

Looking up, Cuddy shook her head slightly cutting him off. “I wouldn’t like it, but on the other hand it doesn’t make me as sad,” she confessed softly. “The fact he…chooses prostitutes… that he thinks they are the best he can do, the best he deserves, that’s worse. It…it makes me profoundly sad really,” she murmured, swallowing hard against the tears that threatened to fall.

Tilting his head to one side, James considered her for a moment. “I wish there was something I could say….”

Holding a hand up, she shook her head. “No…I…I know it’s who…” she stammered searching for the right word. Swiping at the unshed tears in her eyes, she collated herself a bit before continuing. “You don’t need to say anything,” she redirected, this time with a little more confidence in her voice.

Wilson nodded and watched her as she turned her steady eyes once again to her untouched, and now probably cold, cup of coffee. Clearly choosing his words carefully, he reached across the table and slid her coffee away, which brought her eyes to his. “He’s miserable,” He began.

Cuddy looked up at him and gave him a look that screamed, ‘duh!’

James chuckled and raised a hand. “Misery isn’t the illness, it’s a symptom.” He continued a little more seriously.

Lisa shook her head in confusion. “And what, misery likes company?” she quipped.

“Well…in House’s case, yes, but that’s not what I’m saying. The core of House’s issue is loneliness and fear,” Wilson deducted. “He craves relationships, but his life hasn’t played out well in that area so, he withdrawals out of fear of being hurt again and in turn he becomes miserable. My theory is this; House meets girl,” he smirked, pointing at her with a small smile on his face before continuing, “House falls for girl. House gets the relationship he deeply craves. House starts to see that change isn’t as scary as he thought and there ends misery” he finished with a self satisfied smile.

A soft smile floated across Cuddy’s face. “You’re such a romantic James,” she said softly, “and a misguided optimist,” she sighed.

Wilson shrugged and reached across the table to take her hand. “I’m not delusional enough to think that a relationship is going to change his personality, he’s always going to be a misanthropic asshole, but I think he’ll be less miserable, which will make him a tolerable misanthropic asshole,” he laughed lightly. “Plus, you like that he’s a bastard, so that works for you,” he smirked, giving her hand a squeeze.

Lisa smirked and rolled her eyes a bit. Taking a long breath she tried to clear her stomach of the knots that had taken up residence there. “Honestly, I’m not sure if I can take the strain of having him continually bait me and rebuff me,” she lamented. “I’m interested, but I’m not sure he is,” she stated softly.

A wide smile spread across Wilson’s face. “Oh he’s interested, I have no doubt about that,” he offered up encouragingly. “Now getting him to admit that…” he trailed off.

Lisa shook her head sadly; “It seems like an awful lot of work for…” she began.

“Happiness?” Wilson finished for her.

Cuddy smirked and shook her head a bit at the man in front of her. “You ARE a compulsive romantic,” she teased as she stood up and reached for her coat draped on the back of her chair.

Wilson looked up at her. “Yeah, I know. Why do you think I’ve been married three times?” he laughed, standing as well.

Shrugging on her teal green wool coat, Lisa sighed. She felt better for having unburdened herself of happenings of the night before, but still deep down in the pit of her stomach worry and dissatisfaction turned, making her feel slightly nauseated. Shrugging off the feeling, she quickly buttoned her coat as Wilson did the same. Finally fully vested for the cold hats, gloves and scarves, she and Wilson made their way towards the exit in silence.

Stepping out of the small coffee shop, Wilson at her side, Cuddy blinked against brightness of the newly fallen layer of snow. “Wow, how long were we in there,” she quipped as she picked her way carefully along the snowy sidewalk.

“Well its better than the sleet,” Wilson offered placing hand under her elbow in support as they made their way across the icy sidewalk. Lisa smile at the gesture. A gentlemen through and through, she mindlessly wondered why she couldn’t just be attracted to Wilson. James continued, “You know with the holiday season just a couple weeks away, I’m rather glad for the snow,” he reflected as the approached his car.

Cuddy nodded, but didn’t reply. Until just now she hadn’t really registered how close the holiday season really was. With everything going down with Joy and the strangeness that had followed between she and House, she hadn’t taken the time to embrace the season. She generally loved this time of year. The lights, the music, the silly holiday specials on TV, she reveled in it all, but her life of late had completely distracted her, and now here she stood half way through December feeling like the Grinch.

Pushing the unlock button on his key fob, Wilson moved to open the passenger side car door for her but suddenly paused, his hand resting on the door handle. Cuddy looked up at him silently and waited him to speak the thoughts that played clearly on his boyish face.

“Lisa, I know I’m pushing you on this House thing, but I want you to know I’m not only doing it for House’s benefit. He is my friend, but you are too. I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think it would good for both of you. You know that right?” He asked, a sliver of concern coloring his voice.

A faint smile turned Lisa’s lips. Lifting a gloved hand, she rested it on along his jaw. “I know,” she said softly, “I just need to be as positive as you are. You understand right?” she asked.

Looking into her eyes, Wilson hesitated a moment then gave her a small nod. Patting his face affectionately, Cuddy impulsively went up on her toes to place a quick peck to the opposite cheek. Coming back onto her heels, she looked up into his warm face. “Such a romantic,” she sighed through a smile.

Wilson shrugged, “Well someone has to play cupid,” he smirked, pulling open her door.

Rolling her eyes playfully, Lisa slipped pass Wilson and sunk into the seat of the car.

Bringing her hands to her eyes, Cuddy rubbed her eyes gingerly. Grunting softly, she let out a long breath. She desperately wished she could shut off the continuous instant replay her brain insisted on looping over and over again, yet it seemed as if no matter what she did it stuck, it’s strange footage flavoring all her passing thoughts with the distinct essence of Gregory House. Literally giving herself a shake, Lisa turned towards the coffee pot. Grabbing the handle of the small four cup pot, she made quick work of filling a mug with the fresh brew and dumping in some cream. Picking up her steaming cup, she took an appreciative sniff. She sighed as the comforting smell enveloped her and her thoughts turned once again to work, the one place she had found to hide today. ‘A cup of coffee, then I’ll start on the patient files,’ she told herself as she turned once again to the window overlooking the clinic. Watching once again the stirrings just beyond the glass for a moment, Lisa couldn’t help but smile a bit despite her mood. She liked watching her hospital running at its best, as it was today. It moved like a well oiled machine, one for which she was the chief mechanic.

Indulging herself for a moment, Lisa reveled in the efficiency and success she had brought to PPHT in her relatively short tenure as its master. The number one hospital in the state of New Jersey and the number four top teaching hospital in the US, she rightly deserved to be proud; but even as the warm glow of satisfaction began to cover her, the one rusty, squeaky wheel in her machine suddenly appeared in the flesh limping out of an exam room, a file in hand. Blinking a few times as if it would clear House from her visual field, she shook her head a bit as her mind tried to wrap itself around what she was seeing. “Is he actually working?” she wondered in amazement. Her eyes locked on his tall lanky form, she watched as he limped over to the admission desk, dropped the file in his hands into the in box and pick up a new one. It sure looked like work, she realized with surprise.

For a long moment she simply stared at him. It wasn’t often that she could just watch him, at least not without him grilling her about it or making some boorish remark at her expense. Tilting her head to one side she took an inventory of the man who had turned her life upside down and backwards over the past few weeks. Rumpled, unshaven, old faded sneakers and not so much as a sliver of a smile on his solemn face, she smirked, at the site. Most people in her life would laugh if she told them she was attracted to a man like House. They had ever right to be suspicious though, House certainly didn’t fit the mold of the kind of men she was known to go out with. Her “type” was much more put together then House could ever be, even on a good day. She wouldn’t deny that she liked a man in an expensive suit, fine Italian shoes and a tie that cost as much as her mortgage. She, after all, only dated successful men and with that status in life came a certain look she had become accustom too, at least that was till now.

Smiling a little to herself, she watched as House bantered with the nurse at the admission desk. He was wearing one of his customary wrinkled oxfords today, a light blue one. She liked that color on him; it served to intensify the blue of his eyes, the most intensely blue eyes she had ever seen on a person. Sighing, she nibbled her bottom lip thoughtfully, he was handsome she conceded. He was tall and lean, and though she hadn’t seen him san his clothing since his infraction, she could tell that, in spite of his Vicodin habit and bad leg, he was rather fit for a man of his age. His face had also aged in the years she had known him. Though now his skin showed the map of his life, his features were still defined. Nope, no one could deny that he was good looking, but that wasn’t all there was too him either and as much as she wished it wasn’t her reality, she was completely taken by his solemn character.

Bringing her coffee cup to her lips, Cuddy blew the steaming from the top of the brew as she continued to watch House shuffle through a stack of files, then snickered softly when the nurse opposite him made a face and snatched the folders from his hands. “He really knows how to turn on…,” she began through her half smile, but suddenly stopped as the events of the night before washed over her, rinsing the smile from her face. Despite her desire to force the images way, she couldn’t help herself as her mind’s eye pictured the bleach blonde woman touching House and his smiling face returning her advances.

Shutting her eyes against the tears that filled them, she took in a shaky breath. Abruptly setting her second cup of untouched coffee down on the shelf in front of her, Lisa turned her back on the sight of him. Swallowing the bile that raised in her throat, she slowly opened her eyes and stared blindly out at the snow falling just beyond the glass of window behind her desk. Mindlessly turning a ring on her finger, she tried desperately to put her thoughts in an order that didn’t include House or the blonde hussy, but failed miserably.

Grunting in frustration, she lifted her arm and glanced down at her watch. Six minutes past four. Staring at the numbers, she immediately made up her mind. It was after four on a Friday, she was going home. Later she would confess to herself that she had been running, but at the present she could care less. Quickly packing up the remaining files she needed to go over into her briefcase, she paused only long enough at the door to pull on her coat and check to be sure House had disappeared into an exam room once again. Satisfied that the coast was clear, she stepped out into her outer office, locked her door, and tossed her briefcase over her shoulder. Striding purposefully out into the lobby of the clinic, she paused only briefly to inform the head nurse she was leaving, before turning and bolted for the exit.