"Good afternoon. Can you all hear me?

I wrote this speech, this address, myself, I've spent 48 hours trying to find the perfect thing to say. My address to you today is called "The Prime Rib of America."

'I do, solemnly swear, or affirm, that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States, against all enemies foreign and domestic, and I will bear true faith and allegiance to do the same, and I will obey the orders of the president of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the uniform code of military justice, so help me...