I'm numb
Feeling nothing
I'm here...but not
In class I sit and listen...
Drowning in a sea of blue
Waiting fo my call slip
To get out of class
Jittering,shaking,panicking with every sound
The dreadful slip to the counselor
Pretty and blue I know it's for me
To talk about my issue
They'll probably open me up
Look inside me and try too fix what's wrong
Probably diagnose me as a psycho
Tattoo it on my skin...leave it my record...forever
Because of me I keep them busy
I keep them watching
Friends,enemies,teachers....all on suicide watch
I guess I'm worthwhile?
They watch me closely,
Checking me......my arms
Waiting for my next move
Seeing which weapon ill use
Feeling nothing
I'm here...but not
In class I sit and listen...
Drowning in a sea of blue
Waiting fo my call slip
To get out of class
Jittering,shaking,panicking with every sound
The dreadful slip to the counselor
Pretty and blue I know it's for me
To talk about my issue
They'll probably open me up
Look inside me and try too fix what's wrong
Probably diagnose me as a psycho
Tattoo it on my skin...leave it my record...forever
Because of me I keep them busy
I keep them watching
Friends,enemies,teachers....all on suicide watch
I guess I'm worthwhile?
They watch me closely,
Checking me......my arms
Waiting for my next move
Seeing which weapon ill use
Darren is not well, not at all. Today his Grandpa slapped him for getting the wrong soda. Also, Darren dyed his hair black…. And got snake bites, Sam took him to some random piercing store. He looks awesome! But it seems too dark for him, and now he wears his sleeves down. I think he started cutting, just like I did. I know being emo could be a faze or a trend, but for some teens…. It’s their way to get away from the reality of abusive parents, the death of a loved one, poor times or anything else that is bad. I know that some people to do it to get attention, but if they hide it…. they are not. The scars are the wounds of our fear, anger, sadness or lust. They go away…. but not for a while. But I can’t hate him, he still is a friend… I think you understand, right?
Note: A few pages were ripped out because of my orderly…. FUCK HIM!
Darren’s parents and sister died in a car accident today. He is devastated, crying loudly, and screaming in his room all day. Soon after, he found out he had to move in with his Grandpa…. The son of a bitch himself. I hate that man; I just wanna rip out his throat. Any ways, Darren isn’t ok; will he ever be again though? I mean… If I lost my horrible parents; I would miss them, go insane, and die of sadness. I wouldn't be able to live again, ever! I hope his is going to be ok. I love the dude, you know?
Darren’s parents and sister died in a car accident today. He is devastated, crying loudly, and screaming in his room all day. Soon after, he found out he had to move in with his Grandpa…. The son of a bitch himself. I hate that man; I just wanna rip out his throat. Any ways, Darren isn’t ok; will he ever be again though? I mean… If I lost my horrible parents; I would miss them, go insane, and die of sadness. I wouldn't be able to live again, ever! I hope his is going to be ok. I love the dude, you know?
Couldn’t find my diary, so I had to live without talking to you for 24 days… but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I thought Lial took it and was reading it, but no… under my fucking bed the entire time. Damn it. Next time I looked under there first. And I`m sorry, I forgot to write about my Halloween. I was a pirate… an awesome one though. The eye patch was itchy, but I still stayed in character. Lial was a jungle boy, Heather was a princess, Sam and Bekka were the Frankenstein’s, Tyler was a bottle of beer (of cores) Gwen was a Slushy, Darren was a serial killer, Nate was a robot, and James was Romeo.
I couldn’t talk this morning…. I felt sick. Eight O’clock at night now, I guess I could write. Fuck the Flu. Wow, I didn’t even notice this as an ACDA diary… I must have had a blond moment… and yes, Diary, I was blond. But then I dyed my hair black and red. My favorite two colors. Well, gotta go… Tyler, Sam, Gwen, Nate, I are going to play fork-aroo. I just glad we don't use razors or knives. Right?
Bye!
Bye!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
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That was It!
That was It!
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That was It!
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That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
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That was It!
That was It!
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That was It!
Bye!
Bye!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
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That was It!
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That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
That was It!
Sorry, I didn’t write yesterday… Diary, I apologize. I was hanging out with Darren and eating with him, his sister, and his parents. Gosh, they are so kind. Biscuits, ham, and a salad…. NUMMY! Darren balanced 3 spoons on his nose, it was awesome! Not one fell off. I wish I could do that. But so day I might, I hope he could teach me.
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT!
Hey, I`m back… best trip ever! Mom fell off the side walk when we first arrived; the Mexicans probably thought we are stupid. Today is October 3… So closed to Halloween, yet so far.
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Surprisingly, I`m going to Mexico for 3 weeks. Mom says I can’t take you with me, Diary. But, I`ll tell you later. Any ways, I broke up with Kate today… she called me a twat, I think that’s British for idiot. Kate never even explained why she was going to leave me, all she said was “I`m breaking up with you… You twat, It’s me, not you.” Bull Shit, she found someone better. But why does she have to lie.... I don't get her thinking. I never really did...... ever. I wonder if I`ll be good enough for any other girl, a very pretty one too.
The second year of middle school in eighth grade is not as bad as I thought it would be. Today was the first day of school. Bekka and Sam made out the entire time at lunch. Darren got cheese stuck in his hair, and because of the grease, his brown hair looked trashy (More than it already was). Tyler is playing plastic fork-aroo with Nate and Gwen, but the fork kept snapping in half. Hear, Lial, Colten, and I then had to go into Social Studies (4 period) and make up our test. Turns out, I got a C. That’s ok. When I came home, Darren, Lial, Sam, and Colten were already in my back yard. But how did they get there before me? O’Brien is very far away.