End of Chapter 19
"It's nothing you need to worry about now, Jacob." I said, doing my best impression of my father's voice. "In a few years if you don't...well, I'll explain later."
"What am I suppose to get from that? Is he trying to say it's some stupid puberty, coming of age thing? This is something else. Something's wrong Bella." I said as I bit my lower lip, my hands clenched into fists again.
"Oh, Jake, it'll be okay!" She said as she smiled at me, trying to make me smile back at her. "If things get worse you can come live with me and Charlie. Don't be scared, we'll think of something."
I looked at her for a minute, wondering if she had truly meant everything she just said and from the smile on her face she had. I reached out and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me and was surprised when she didn't pull away.
"Thanks Bella. If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often." I said as I hugged her close to me, my hands running through her hair, the wind blowing her smell around me and onto my clothes.
Chapter 20
Bella pulled back, a distant look in her eyes as she looked at me. I wondered if I had scared her away when I hugged her, but she smiled at me before she punched me in the arm.
"It's hard to believe I'm two years older then you are, you make me feel like a dwarf." She said as she craned her neck so she could look up at me.
"You're forgetting that I'm in my mid-forties." I said as I laughed.
"Oh, that's right."
"You're like a little doll." I teased as I patted the top of his head. "A porcelain doll."
"Let's not start with the albino cracks." She said as she rolled her eyes and took a step back from me.
"Seriously Bella, are you sure you're not?" I asked as I stretched my dark, tanned arm out next to her pale skin. "I've never seen anyone paler then you...well, except for-"
I stopped before I said the Cullens, her face draining of any color. I watched her as her arms wrapped tightly across her chest, as if she were holding herself together. It had been weeks since I had seen her hold herself together like that, I realized that just mentioning...or almost mentioning that name made her hurt.
"So...are we going to ride, or what?" I asked, changing the subject, hoping she wouldn't hate me for causing her pain.
"Let's do it." She said quickly, a smile stretching from one corner of her face to the other.
We walked over to the bikes, Bella quickly straddling hers as I stood by the front wheel. The smile on her face made me feel so much better, she looked alive..she looked...happy.
"Okay,"I said, my smile hurting my cheeks because I was smiling so hard. "Where's you're clutch?"
She smiled at me before she raised her right hand to point to the clutch on the left side. In that one second her weight was shifted and the bike fought her to stay upright.
"Jacob, it won't stay up." She whined.
"It will when you're moving." I said as I watched her fight the bike. "Now where is your brake?"
"Behind my right foot."
"Wrong." I said, knowing that she knew the answer to this. I reached out and wrapped the fingers of her left hand around the the letter that stuck out above the throttle, the hand break.
"But you said.."
"This is the break you want. Don't use the back break for now, that's for later, when you know what you're doing."
"That doesn't sound right." She said, her eyebrows scrunched together. "Aren't both breaks kind of important?"
"Forget about the back break, okay? Here." I said as I wrapped my hand tighter around hers, making her squeeze the hand break. "That is your break. Don't forget." I said as I squeezed her hand in mine one more time, my palms starting to sweat.
"Fine."
"Throttle?" I asked.
She grinned as she twisted the right grip, knowing she got that right.
"Gearshift?"
She nudged the lever with her left calf.
"Very good. I think you've got all the parts down. Now you just have to get it moving." I said as I stepped back from the tire, the bike moving to the left..threatening to throw her off.
"Uh huh." She said, her skin almost gray in fear.
"I want you to hold down the clutch." I said as I bent down so she could look into my eyes. She looked into my eyes and nodded slightly as she wrapped her slender fingers around the clutch. "Now this is crucial, Bella. Don't let go of that okay? I want you to pretend that I've handed you a live grenade. The pin is out and you are holding down the spoon."
I had a second to worry that she didn't understand what I meant...and I had a moment to kick myself and realize that I had just made the ultimate guy remark to a girl. I was about to make another analogy when she smiled at me and gripped the clutch so hard her fingers turned snow white from gripping the clutch so hard.
"Good. Do you think you can kick-start it?"
"If I move my foot, I will fall over." She said as she focused on the clutch.
"Okay, I'll do it." I said as I held onto the bike, steadying it as I moved around to the side. I lifted up one foot and drove it down into the kick pedal before there was a ripping sound of the bike. The bike started to shift and I reached out, my hand snapping out before I realized I had moved it, holding the bike in place so she didn't fall...before the engine died.
"Steady there." I laughed. "Do you still have the clutch?"
"Yes." She gasped.
"Plant your feet-I'm going to try again." I said as I reached out and placed my hand on the back of the seat, just behind where she was sitting so I could steady the bike easier. It took four more kicks before the bike fired, the sound echoing off the woods.
"Try out the throttle." I said as I held the bike. "Very lightly...and don't let go of the clutch."
Bella swallowed loudly and took a few deep breaths before she twisted the right handle. She moved it just a little bit, but the bike ripped and growled beneath her.
"Do you remember how to put it into first gear?" I asked as I smiled in satisfaction.
"Yes." She said softly, her voice barely heard above the rumble of the bike.
"Well...go ahead." I said as I moved my hand, my fingers the only thing left to steady the bike.
"Okay."
She held completely still as she took a few more breaths, her entire body shaking from the bike..or was she shaking from fear?
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked as I stepped closer to the bike. "You look scared."
"I'm fine." She snapped as she kicked the gear shift with her left leg, shifting it into first.
"Very good.. now, very gently, ease up on the clutch." I said as I pulled my hand off the back of the seat and took a careful step back..ready to catch the bike if she lost control.
"You want me to let go of the grenade?" She asked in disbelief.
"That's how you move Bella. Just do it little by little."
She released her grip slowly, her fingers stiff from gripping the clutch for so long. She concentrated and was about to let go when she stooped where she was and gasped. She completely let go of the clutch, the bike launching itself forward and collapsed to the ground, landing directly on top of Bella.
"Bella?" I yelled as I ran over and threw the bike off her as if it weighed nothing. "Are you hurt?"
She stared off into space, her eyes focused just off to my right. I looked over my shoulder and wondered what she was staring at before she blinked a few times, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"Bella?" I asked as I shook her shoulder, my heart pounding against my chest..my fear making it hard to breath. I was wrong to fix the bikes, I was wrong to bring her here....I was wrong.
"It's nothing you need to worry about now, Jacob." I said, doing my best impression of my father's voice. "In a few years if you don't...well, I'll explain later."
"What am I suppose to get from that? Is he trying to say it's some stupid puberty, coming of age thing? This is something else. Something's wrong Bella." I said as I bit my lower lip, my hands clenched into fists again.
"Oh, Jake, it'll be okay!" She said as she smiled at me, trying to make me smile back at her. "If things get worse you can come live with me and Charlie. Don't be scared, we'll think of something."
I looked at her for a minute, wondering if she had truly meant everything she just said and from the smile on her face she had. I reached out and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me and was surprised when she didn't pull away.
"Thanks Bella. If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often." I said as I hugged her close to me, my hands running through her hair, the wind blowing her smell around me and onto my clothes.
Chapter 20
Bella pulled back, a distant look in her eyes as she looked at me. I wondered if I had scared her away when I hugged her, but she smiled at me before she punched me in the arm.
"It's hard to believe I'm two years older then you are, you make me feel like a dwarf." She said as she craned her neck so she could look up at me.
"You're forgetting that I'm in my mid-forties." I said as I laughed.
"Oh, that's right."
"You're like a little doll." I teased as I patted the top of his head. "A porcelain doll."
"Let's not start with the albino cracks." She said as she rolled her eyes and took a step back from me.
"Seriously Bella, are you sure you're not?" I asked as I stretched my dark, tanned arm out next to her pale skin. "I've never seen anyone paler then you...well, except for-"
I stopped before I said the Cullens, her face draining of any color. I watched her as her arms wrapped tightly across her chest, as if she were holding herself together. It had been weeks since I had seen her hold herself together like that, I realized that just mentioning...or almost mentioning that name made her hurt.
"So...are we going to ride, or what?" I asked, changing the subject, hoping she wouldn't hate me for causing her pain.
"Let's do it." She said quickly, a smile stretching from one corner of her face to the other.
We walked over to the bikes, Bella quickly straddling hers as I stood by the front wheel. The smile on her face made me feel so much better, she looked alive..she looked...happy.
"Okay,"I said, my smile hurting my cheeks because I was smiling so hard. "Where's you're clutch?"
She smiled at me before she raised her right hand to point to the clutch on the left side. In that one second her weight was shifted and the bike fought her to stay upright.
"Jacob, it won't stay up." She whined.
"It will when you're moving." I said as I watched her fight the bike. "Now where is your brake?"
"Behind my right foot."
"Wrong." I said, knowing that she knew the answer to this. I reached out and wrapped the fingers of her left hand around the the letter that stuck out above the throttle, the hand break.
"But you said.."
"This is the break you want. Don't use the back break for now, that's for later, when you know what you're doing."
"That doesn't sound right." She said, her eyebrows scrunched together. "Aren't both breaks kind of important?"
"Forget about the back break, okay? Here." I said as I wrapped my hand tighter around hers, making her squeeze the hand break. "That is your break. Don't forget." I said as I squeezed her hand in mine one more time, my palms starting to sweat.
"Fine."
"Throttle?" I asked.
She grinned as she twisted the right grip, knowing she got that right.
"Gearshift?"
She nudged the lever with her left calf.
"Very good. I think you've got all the parts down. Now you just have to get it moving." I said as I stepped back from the tire, the bike moving to the left..threatening to throw her off.
"Uh huh." She said, her skin almost gray in fear.
"I want you to hold down the clutch." I said as I bent down so she could look into my eyes. She looked into my eyes and nodded slightly as she wrapped her slender fingers around the clutch. "Now this is crucial, Bella. Don't let go of that okay? I want you to pretend that I've handed you a live grenade. The pin is out and you are holding down the spoon."
I had a second to worry that she didn't understand what I meant...and I had a moment to kick myself and realize that I had just made the ultimate guy remark to a girl. I was about to make another analogy when she smiled at me and gripped the clutch so hard her fingers turned snow white from gripping the clutch so hard.
"Good. Do you think you can kick-start it?"
"If I move my foot, I will fall over." She said as she focused on the clutch.
"Okay, I'll do it." I said as I held onto the bike, steadying it as I moved around to the side. I lifted up one foot and drove it down into the kick pedal before there was a ripping sound of the bike. The bike started to shift and I reached out, my hand snapping out before I realized I had moved it, holding the bike in place so she didn't fall...before the engine died.
"Steady there." I laughed. "Do you still have the clutch?"
"Yes." She gasped.
"Plant your feet-I'm going to try again." I said as I reached out and placed my hand on the back of the seat, just behind where she was sitting so I could steady the bike easier. It took four more kicks before the bike fired, the sound echoing off the woods.
"Try out the throttle." I said as I held the bike. "Very lightly...and don't let go of the clutch."
Bella swallowed loudly and took a few deep breaths before she twisted the right handle. She moved it just a little bit, but the bike ripped and growled beneath her.
"Do you remember how to put it into first gear?" I asked as I smiled in satisfaction.
"Yes." She said softly, her voice barely heard above the rumble of the bike.
"Well...go ahead." I said as I moved my hand, my fingers the only thing left to steady the bike.
"Okay."
She held completely still as she took a few more breaths, her entire body shaking from the bike..or was she shaking from fear?
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked as I stepped closer to the bike. "You look scared."
"I'm fine." She snapped as she kicked the gear shift with her left leg, shifting it into first.
"Very good.. now, very gently, ease up on the clutch." I said as I pulled my hand off the back of the seat and took a careful step back..ready to catch the bike if she lost control.
"You want me to let go of the grenade?" She asked in disbelief.
"That's how you move Bella. Just do it little by little."
She released her grip slowly, her fingers stiff from gripping the clutch for so long. She concentrated and was about to let go when she stooped where she was and gasped. She completely let go of the clutch, the bike launching itself forward and collapsed to the ground, landing directly on top of Bella.
"Bella?" I yelled as I ran over and threw the bike off her as if it weighed nothing. "Are you hurt?"
She stared off into space, her eyes focused just off to my right. I looked over my shoulder and wondered what she was staring at before she blinked a few times, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"Bella?" I asked as I shook her shoulder, my heart pounding against my chest..my fear making it hard to breath. I was wrong to fix the bikes, I was wrong to bring her here....I was wrong.
