I don’t even know if it qualifies as a FanFic because I don’t read them (they’re just not my thing), but anyway... I was inspired by snippets of the “The Making of ‘Teenagers’” and "Life On The Murder Scene". The inspiration is, of course, the one, the only Bob Bryar, and his battle with a buzzing fiend...
Bob and the Battle of the Bee
Bob Bryar and his rock band of merry musicians, also known as My Chemical Romance, were making a music video for their latest single ‘Teenagers’, from their hit album ‘The Black Parade’.
The video shoot was going well. The whole band was on fire! Gerard was singing. Frank and Ray were guitar-ing. Mikey was bass-ing. Bob was drumming. Cheerleaders were cheerleading. The video crew were... doing whatever a video crew does... Thus, the video was coming together nicely.
However, things were about to turn ugly...
Bob was sitting on his drum stool near the back of the stage. There was a break in shooting so that Frank could get a touch-up of his make-up. Suddenly, Bob heard a quiet but irritating buzzing noise. “Mikey! Stop putting that fork in that toaster!” yelled Bob. “Sorry” whimpered Mikey. Frank was done with make-up, so shooting began again.
After an hour or song of playing ‘Teenagers’ over and over again, an army of hair-stylists demanded that shooting be paused so that Ray’s hair could be teased and moussed. As Bob took advantage of the break to relax, he once again, heard a buzzing noise. He glanced over at Mikey, but Mikey was discussing the finer points of light sabre battle techniques, not unlike those seen in the Star Wars movies. “Where is that buzzing noise coming from?” Bob wondered out loud. Then, out of nowhere, a large, vicious-looking bee was flying straight towards him!
This was a job for...
SUPER BOB!
Bob leaped out from behind his drum kit and ran to the nearest bathroom. Once locked inside a toilet stall, Bob ripped off this dark clothing, revealing a Ninja-Turtle-green superhero suit made from the same material as bike shorts to ensure an extra-tight, figure-hugging appearance. He then slipped into his Super Slippers and burst out of the toilet stall, startling My Chemical Romance manager Brian Schefter, causing him to miss the urinal completely. But there was no time for Super Bob to point and laugh. He had a job to do...
Bob ran back to the set of the video (using his super-speed of course) and found the bee waiting for him, hovering over his kick-drum. “This is war...” he said in a deep, serious voice that almost made him giggle. He withdrew his Drum Sticks of Doom and began swiping at the hideous flying insect. But the bee was proving to be quite a powerful opponent for Super Bob. He needed backup. “Hey Sarge! Come help me fight this bee!” he called out to his faithful sidekick Sarge (who was, in actual fact, security expert Worm dressed as a puppy). But Sarge was too busy trying to calm down the cheerleaders, who were hysterically afraid of the murderous hovering bee. So Super Bob was on his own...
Suddenly, Super Bob remembered his Secret Energy Drink supply that he kept inside one of his drums (I certainly cannot tell you which one. It is a secret). He grabbed a can and gulped down its contents as fast as he could.
Now he had the strength of a thousand drummers! He beat the evil bee down with a single swipe of his Drum Sticks of Doom! The bee fell to the floor and after a few pathetic buzzes, the bee died.
Pleased with his work, he picked up a broom and swept the bee away. Once again, Super Bob had saved the day and cleaned up after himself.
Super Bob ran back to the bathroom and put his normal clothes back on. He re-entered the set to find the room in quite a commotion. Everyone was talking excitedly about a mysterious superhero in a skin-tight Ninja-Turtle green suit.
“What happened?” Bob asked Ray.
Ray replied, “Oh man! You will never believe what just happened...”
But something tells me, Bob will believe it.
