Hello and welcome to this new series of short articles where I review movies! As some of you may already know, I’m a huge fan of movies. It’s sort of an occupational hazard, since I’m a media analyst. So in these articles, I’d like to convey my opinion on various media products, mostly products of the Hollywood film industry. Although I look at movies from a professional point of view, my communication style will be light and straightforward with a pretty free mouth, per se.
Before we get started, let me emphasize, that what you’re about to read is strictly my own, personal opinion, based on things I’ve learned in my profession. And since everyone perceives the world differently, your opinion and experience of the movie may differ.
So without any delay, let’s jump right into the deep water and let’s take a look at some of the recent products of Hollywood! I’ve chosen the 2014 adaptation of the Godzilla franchise, because this movie was so bad, that it actually managed to piss me off big time!
An unnecessary remake
It seems Hollywood is running extremely short on original ideas, so what do they do in their desperation? Yes, they take blockbusters from the late ‘80s and ‘90s and release a remake of them with improved visuals of course. Take Robocop and Total Recall for example! Perhaps it is only me, but just like in music, I believe, if you do a remake, create something even better than the original material. In the 2014 Godzilla movie, this concept fails utterly and completely.
At this point, I have to give an obvious warning, if you haven’t seen this film, because we will be discussing some elements of the plot, so obviously… SPOLIER ALERT!
Okay, so let’s see what we’re dealing with here. Our story begins in Japan, around 1990. We are introduced to an American family, living in Japan, where both the father and the mother works in a nuclear power plant. And some weird stuff is going on of course… strange earthquakes, electromagnetic pulses, shit like that.
Actually, the first part of the movie wasn’t so bad at all. They jump right into the action and create tension. Good. Eventually, despite the all-knowing American’s warming, the stupid Japanese people react too late, which causes a leak in the reactor and the mother dies and the father becomes obsessed of finding out what caused the catastrophe... This is a typical element of Western film industry. That the people from the West know everything so much better than anyone else.
No probs, we get our first emotional crisis, which sets our primary protagonists on the path they need to take. Boom! The power plant collapses altogether and we don’t know nothing about what caused this.Great! Fast forward!
15 years later, we meet the young boy, who became a bomb defusing expert for the US military. Once the obligatory depiction of his ideal, loving family life is done and we know what a great guy he is, he gets a phone call from Japan, that his father was arrested. Even though he just got home from Iraq, or whatever, he gets on a plane and travels to Japan, to bail his crackjob, obsessed father out.
And here’s the point where the movie starts to fall apart. The only enjoyable character was the father so far. He is played by Bryan Cranston, the guy from Breaking Bad, but don’t worry, he is eliminated shortly, so he won’t “ruin” the movie with his “unnecessary” acting skills. I had hopes for the scientist portrayed by Ken Watanabe (Last Samurai), but he just stares into the nothingness with gaping mouth most of the time, so that’s it.
So we are left with a set of stale, boring and uninteresting characters. At least you would expect some epic monster fights, but noooo! Where’s Godzilla?! We are halfway through the movie already and all we got is a few spikes sticking out of the water. That’s Godzilla. He just swims through the ocean for about a good 45 minutes!
We are already introduced to the primary antagonists of the movie, namely, the MUTOs, some giant parasite monsters from ancient times, who break free after a failed experiment of the government.
Although the visual design of the MUTOs was pretty good, it reminded me something from Cloverfield, so nothing original there. And of course – what a coincidence! – These monsters chose San Francisco, the hometown of the protagonist to build their nest and take over the world.
Naturally, the military wants to BBQ them with nukes, but fail miserably. And finally, Godzilla shows up! I would have expected him to show his pretty face earlier, since the movie is named after him, but whatever...
Now we’re gettin’ good, you might think. Let the epic fight sequence begin! Although it would have been much more enjoyable, if you could actually see anything more than black shadows butchering each other… IN THE DARK!
Yeah, brilliant idea! Let huge, black colored monsters fight each other… IN PITCH BLACK DARKNESS!!!
Okay, so Godzilla defeats the MUTOs, then dies, but not really. The world is saved, end titles commence, there you have it, folks!
Now, let’s take a look of the few positives this movie has to offer!
1. The visual design of Godzilla! It’s awesome! Many critics disliked the ’98 movie because Godzilla looked like a giant Comodo dragon. In this film, the designers stayed more loyal to the original concept, by keeping him bulky and massive, just like in the famous Japanese movies. The blue flames he breathes are fantastic as well.
2. Symbols: although the movie tries to convey a certain message, like how our society is extremely dependent on electricity or the conflict between nature and humanity (while the original Japanese movies were more about conflicts in foreign policy), this film relies on so simple, so trivial symbols that it’s actually insulting to the intellect. I hate this kind of spoon-feeding style, but the message is actual and relevant nevertheless.
3. The beginning and the ending of the movie. Both are executed well, with tension drama and great visuals.
So would I recommend this movie for you to watch? Well… kinda-sorta… If you have a few hours to spare in your free time without anything to do, then watch it. Although the middle part is boring and stale, the beginning is full of tension and the final battle between Godzilla and the MUTOs have great visuals, even though they fight in the dark…
To sum up, let’s rate! Like many reviewers, I’ll always have a unique measuring system for each and every of my reviews, which fits the style of the movie.
So, for this movie, I give 3/6 uranium 235 isotopes.
Nothing special, nothing new, but it’s good for a one time view.
This is Sean The Hedgehog
