Rosalie's POV
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When did Emmett left me? I didn't know. Time is endless when you're depressive. Depressive? Yes. When did I smile for the last time? Where were my happy memories? Did I had happy memories without Emmett in it? I didn't think so. I was alone, empty. My future was dark. There was a cloud above my head, there was no sun anymore. Emmett was my sun, but where was he? I knew the answer, but I didn't wanted to think about, it hurt me too much. My wounds were burning, harder and worse than ever. Nobody can heal them. Even not myself. I can't heal, I was ripped open, forever.
Everyone tried to cheer me up, even the werewolves. They were nice, everyone was nice. But I couldn't smile. Like I forgot how to smile. I almost forgot what happiness meant. But does it care if you know that you never would feel it again? I couldn't just stand up and be happy, my reason for being was gone. How could you ever get over it and move on? I tried to talk to Bella, but everything she said seemed so easy. I never realized how hard it must be for her when we left. How hard it for her was that she was a fragile human, not faster or stronger than us. She wasn't able to find us. I had respect for her.
I wanted to be alone for a while. I reassured them that I would be okay. I wanted to clear my head and think. There wasn't anything to think about. Emmett left. More I don't have to know. But I just had to be alone. I didn't wanted to go to Denali or something, just me. Don't get me wrong, I was going back in a couple of hours. I was just walki-stumbling in the woods. In my whole vampire existence I never tripped or lost balance, but it was like I almost couldn't move my legs. Sometimes I had to hold myself on a tree, before I would fell on the ground. I never felt so miserable, even not after I changed.
I stumbled through the trees. I saw in the distance a cliff. I stumbled towards it and looked at the moon in the sky. It was full moon tonight. My skin sparkled lightly at the light of the moon. I sat down on the cliff. If a human would fall, it would be for sure dead. It was way too high. If I would fall, there would be nothing. My skin is very hard and nothing can hurt me. Just another vampire or a werewolf. If I'm honest, I would prefer to jump and be dead. To be freed from the miserable pain. My life didn't had a reason anymore. I didn't had a reason to live anymore. Emmett was my everything, and he's gone now. I had nothing.
It started to rain but I didn't care. I almost didn't feel the rain on my skin. It was like I didn't had any feeling anymore in my body. I pulled my knees under my chin and I wrapped my arms around my legs. I started slowly to poise from front to back.
'Rain... rain,' I started to sing very low. 'Rain fall down and come,' it reminded me of our "rain dance". It was nice to sing it. Even if it hurt terrible, this song was a part for us. Like it belonged to us. I knew Emmett just invent it, but it was the beginning of my new happy life. It was a important song for me, and oddly enough, it was a important song for Emmett too. 'Rain... rain,' my voice was weak. I never heard it that weak. It made me feel even more broken. 'Rain fall down and come.'
I didn't know how long I sat there. Singing low in the rain. I was totally wet and my clothes were dirty from the mud. I showered after the "incident" in the closet with my sisters. It was so weird. Like it was a nightmare and I snapped out of it. I really thought Emmett was gone hunting with my brothers. It seemed so real, so real. But it wasn't true. And that made me feel even worse.
I asked my sister about Jasper and Edward. They said that they were gone for a hunting trip for a few days and that they will visit Emmett for a while. To talk with him. Bella and Alice seemed nervous when they told me. Like they were lying to me. But I didn't ask for more, I didn't care. Nothing was important anymore. Emmett wasn't next to me, to comfort me if I'm upset, or to make me laugh. He wasn't with me to support me through eternity, so I wondered if this was useful for me.
I stood up and looked at my wedding ring. It was a beautiful silver one. With a big diamond in the middle and two smaller ones, each on one side of the big one. I fell in love with the first time Emmett shove it at my finger. We didn't change our wedding ring through our weddings. This was the first and the most beautiful one. It was special. I sighed deeply when I dragged it from my finger. Wearing it made me more upset. And I didn't needed it, did I? I looked at it in my hands. I didn't wanted it anymore, not if it caused so much pain. Emmett was the past, but if he was the past, what or who was the future? I couldn't imagine myself with another man. But just my family wasn't enough for me. I needed someone, and that someone was Emmett. Maybe this life wasn't something for me. I couldn't live for the rest of forever without Emmett. So there was just one option left. I knew I would hurt the ones who loved me with it, but I knew they would get over it.
I sighed deeply again and closed my eyes. And before I knew what I was doing I throw the ring in the sea. My hands covered my face and I started to dry sob again. It was the only way to get rid of it. It was just too painful to wear it. It would be in the ocean now, with the sun or the moon shining on it. It had a special place now.
I turned around and started to walk away. I had to buy a ticket to Italy and go to the volturi. This was the only way. I wasn't going to live without Emmett, that would be too painful and miserable. I was a strong woman, and I didn't give up fast. But if there was no solution left, than this way. I had to change my mind so Alice wouldn't see it coming. If I was lucky Edward wouldn't read my mind. I tried to block my thoughts and think about other things. I didn't wanted to leave a letter for my parents, that would be too painful for them. But I had to leave them something... I thought about what I could do, but nothing came out. Maybe it was better if I didn't leave them anything. Mental I would leave my heart with them, forever.
I didn't wanted to do this, but deep inside me I didn't wanted anything else. I didn't wanted to put myself in something terrible. I knew that this life was the best thing that ever happened to me. I found my mate and a lovely family. But I knew too that my mate was my reason for being. And if your reason for being was gone than what did you live for? I hated the thought that a human was stronger than me. And I mean Bella. She was alone but didn't kill herself or something. She once told us that she jumped of the cliff so she could "hear" Edward. If she did something dangerous than he showed up. First I thought it was weird but then I realized that it was the only option for her to hear him.
It was still raining and I looked at the sky while I walked or stumbled or whatever you call it through the trees. I was so frustrated and weak that I fell over a tree-trunk. I lay in the mud for a few seconds before I stood up. I didn't care about my clothes. About a day or something I would be dead, so why should I care about dirty clothes? I made my way and payed attention for the way now.
'Rain... rain,' I started again. 'Rain fall down and come...'
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When did Emmett left me? I didn't know. Time is endless when you're depressive. Depressive? Yes. When did I smile for the last time? Where were my happy memories? Did I had happy memories without Emmett in it? I didn't think so. I was alone, empty. My future was dark. There was a cloud above my head, there was no sun anymore. Emmett was my sun, but where was he? I knew the answer, but I didn't wanted to think about, it hurt me too much. My wounds were burning, harder and worse than ever. Nobody can heal them. Even not myself. I can't heal, I was ripped open, forever.
Everyone tried to cheer me up, even the werewolves. They were nice, everyone was nice. But I couldn't smile. Like I forgot how to smile. I almost forgot what happiness meant. But does it care if you know that you never would feel it again? I couldn't just stand up and be happy, my reason for being was gone. How could you ever get over it and move on? I tried to talk to Bella, but everything she said seemed so easy. I never realized how hard it must be for her when we left. How hard it for her was that she was a fragile human, not faster or stronger than us. She wasn't able to find us. I had respect for her.
I wanted to be alone for a while. I reassured them that I would be okay. I wanted to clear my head and think. There wasn't anything to think about. Emmett left. More I don't have to know. But I just had to be alone. I didn't wanted to go to Denali or something, just me. Don't get me wrong, I was going back in a couple of hours. I was just walki-stumbling in the woods. In my whole vampire existence I never tripped or lost balance, but it was like I almost couldn't move my legs. Sometimes I had to hold myself on a tree, before I would fell on the ground. I never felt so miserable, even not after I changed.
I stumbled through the trees. I saw in the distance a cliff. I stumbled towards it and looked at the moon in the sky. It was full moon tonight. My skin sparkled lightly at the light of the moon. I sat down on the cliff. If a human would fall, it would be for sure dead. It was way too high. If I would fall, there would be nothing. My skin is very hard and nothing can hurt me. Just another vampire or a werewolf. If I'm honest, I would prefer to jump and be dead. To be freed from the miserable pain. My life didn't had a reason anymore. I didn't had a reason to live anymore. Emmett was my everything, and he's gone now. I had nothing.
It started to rain but I didn't care. I almost didn't feel the rain on my skin. It was like I didn't had any feeling anymore in my body. I pulled my knees under my chin and I wrapped my arms around my legs. I started slowly to poise from front to back.
'Rain... rain,' I started to sing very low. 'Rain fall down and come,' it reminded me of our "rain dance". It was nice to sing it. Even if it hurt terrible, this song was a part for us. Like it belonged to us. I knew Emmett just invent it, but it was the beginning of my new happy life. It was a important song for me, and oddly enough, it was a important song for Emmett too. 'Rain... rain,' my voice was weak. I never heard it that weak. It made me feel even more broken. 'Rain fall down and come.'
I didn't know how long I sat there. Singing low in the rain. I was totally wet and my clothes were dirty from the mud. I showered after the "incident" in the closet with my sisters. It was so weird. Like it was a nightmare and I snapped out of it. I really thought Emmett was gone hunting with my brothers. It seemed so real, so real. But it wasn't true. And that made me feel even worse.
I asked my sister about Jasper and Edward. They said that they were gone for a hunting trip for a few days and that they will visit Emmett for a while. To talk with him. Bella and Alice seemed nervous when they told me. Like they were lying to me. But I didn't ask for more, I didn't care. Nothing was important anymore. Emmett wasn't next to me, to comfort me if I'm upset, or to make me laugh. He wasn't with me to support me through eternity, so I wondered if this was useful for me.
I stood up and looked at my wedding ring. It was a beautiful silver one. With a big diamond in the middle and two smaller ones, each on one side of the big one. I fell in love with the first time Emmett shove it at my finger. We didn't change our wedding ring through our weddings. This was the first and the most beautiful one. It was special. I sighed deeply when I dragged it from my finger. Wearing it made me more upset. And I didn't needed it, did I? I looked at it in my hands. I didn't wanted it anymore, not if it caused so much pain. Emmett was the past, but if he was the past, what or who was the future? I couldn't imagine myself with another man. But just my family wasn't enough for me. I needed someone, and that someone was Emmett. Maybe this life wasn't something for me. I couldn't live for the rest of forever without Emmett. So there was just one option left. I knew I would hurt the ones who loved me with it, but I knew they would get over it.
I sighed deeply again and closed my eyes. And before I knew what I was doing I throw the ring in the sea. My hands covered my face and I started to dry sob again. It was the only way to get rid of it. It was just too painful to wear it. It would be in the ocean now, with the sun or the moon shining on it. It had a special place now.
I turned around and started to walk away. I had to buy a ticket to Italy and go to the volturi. This was the only way. I wasn't going to live without Emmett, that would be too painful and miserable. I was a strong woman, and I didn't give up fast. But if there was no solution left, than this way. I had to change my mind so Alice wouldn't see it coming. If I was lucky Edward wouldn't read my mind. I tried to block my thoughts and think about other things. I didn't wanted to leave a letter for my parents, that would be too painful for them. But I had to leave them something... I thought about what I could do, but nothing came out. Maybe it was better if I didn't leave them anything. Mental I would leave my heart with them, forever.
I didn't wanted to do this, but deep inside me I didn't wanted anything else. I didn't wanted to put myself in something terrible. I knew that this life was the best thing that ever happened to me. I found my mate and a lovely family. But I knew too that my mate was my reason for being. And if your reason for being was gone than what did you live for? I hated the thought that a human was stronger than me. And I mean Bella. She was alone but didn't kill herself or something. She once told us that she jumped of the cliff so she could "hear" Edward. If she did something dangerous than he showed up. First I thought it was weird but then I realized that it was the only option for her to hear him.
It was still raining and I looked at the sky while I walked or stumbled or whatever you call it through the trees. I was so frustrated and weak that I fell over a tree-trunk. I lay in the mud for a few seconds before I stood up. I didn't care about my clothes. About a day or something I would be dead, so why should I care about dirty clothes? I made my way and payed attention for the way now.
'Rain... rain,' I started again. 'Rain fall down and come...'
