Yomi’s wonderings led him from Gandara into the barren lands of the Divider Zone, a wasteland that separated the main continents so their borders would not touch unlike on earth. Filled with of brigades and demon scourge he cared not to waste his time with, Yomi drew his cloak over him and repressed his demon energy.
He didn’t want to be bothered.
His head had felt that it was in a daze since he left. Just yesterday he had defeated the world’s fourth strongest demon in a battle of medal and his hand was stronger, so the world believes. Or so the world will be lead to believe, but Yomi knew if it wasn’t for the Lord’s aid he wouldn’t have gotten through it so easily. Hamot could have gotten the best of him had he not seen the attack coming, if that angel had not stole away his soul for just that moment to show him, he could have been finished.
You are not invulnerable Yomi, you can lose.
I am not a god, far from it. I cannot let myself become too overconfident, it is at times like that when I’ve suffered the most, as if the fates always wait till the most crucial moment to crush me with their dreaded realities.
I felt I had lost even by winning, the empire the kingdom I have been building is a sham—it’s not what I envisioned. Not what I’ve planned. I think about it now and in that moment and I despise my creation, this is not the way I wanted this to be.
I planned for a good world, an enlightened world alight with God and where I can live in peace with faith in the foundations of religion and order. I’ve lived in Chaos, I’ve seen my share of war I care for none of it, I want peace, a time when I will no longer have to fight, or struggle, when no one will.
This was my plan… how did it go wrong?
When did my eyes go so blind that I couldn’t even see the mistakes in my own thoughts? I cannot see my footsteps in front of me because I haven’t the eyes to see then with, but in my mind, where my world truly is, how could I have missed it?
How many temples did I destroy, how many priests died by my hand, the servants, the devoted all because they were Pagan. Were my crusades no better than the humans? Slaughtering innocents without mercy nor care because they worshiped the wrong gods, or no because they simple did not worship God in the same way deemed by the narrow mind of the church! I’m the same, my footsteps have been no different.
I’ve slaughtered and killed, torn down conquered and destroyed, heh, perhaps I should be called Sesshomaru for what it’s worth.
Yomi laughed diligently at himself. As if monitoring his every thought like his own warden.
The demon of cruelty and destruction, I remember having to cringe when I learned that’s what his name meant, and never cared for it. Why someone like him would be given such a name is beyond me. Sesshomaru, I’ve watched him before many times and I couldn’t call him that, though it’s just a name, a name like my own, Yomi. People have asked me why I’m called by a word that speaks of a place where the dead go to rot, and I’ve told them many times, ‘because it’s in a place like that where I have spent the majority of my life.’ and it’s true, I feel it now, yes the name Yomi suits me well. You on the other hand Sesshomaru, you don’t seem like a destructive demon to me, cruel perhaps, but who isn’t. Those of us that seek power, where is there room for kindness? Or perhaps that’s my problem, because I just can’t see it, I promised goods, food and water to my subjects, have yet to deliver and kill off those upon whom I did not shine my favor. No wonder rebels had risen against me, I could just see my mother’s tears if she really knew how I’ve erred.
No Sesshomaru you are not the cruelest among us to be called by such a name. I’ve known cruelty, his name was Kurama a demon I once served and trusted. It was the only time in my like when I wasn’t my own master, but entrusted my will, deeds and actions to someone else, well to the most part anyway. In the end I did get a little careless and I guess it ticked him off. Enough that he decided he no longer wanted me around.
Yes Sesshomaru I know what cruelty is, would you do that? Would you have done that to me? No, I know you… you wouldn’t… would you,’ his thoughts caused a grin, grim and melancholy, his thoughts rolled on. ‘I am willing to bet if you wanted me dead you would have killed me yourself. Am I right? You would have come at me with your claws unsheathed and ready to shred me away to nothing, to oblivion. To imagine those glorious claws sending me to my grave, that personal intimacy of being killed by one you love, and I bet if it were you I could have loved you, just as I almost did of him.
Just for that I would love you. Just prove me wrong and I’ll cut out my heart. I’ll place it right beside yours on God’s alter and say keep it. I have no use for it. Good riddens. Perhaps I’m better off.
Oh Kurama if you could hear my thoughts now, how I yearn to touch your silky white flesh, and to ring my cold hands around your throat to hear your confession. Did you do it, are you the one that sent that assassin, did you truly want me dead? You never even gave me as much as to tell it to me face—why! Were you frightened, did you fear what I would say what I would do? Did you fear my power, when you had your own! That power and those skills of yours, I still don’t know how you do it. You know I’m an animal spirit to, but I could never connect with nature the way you did. I spent my life in the desert or lost in darkness I’ve never basked in the cool solitude of forest greens and surrounded myself with such vitality. I’ve related to no such thing.
Coward. You should have told me you disapproved, you could have scolded me! I was just a child! I needed to learn, you knew that. Why didn’t you teach me? I am perfectly able to learn from my mistakes, I’ve done it all my life, I’m still learning now!
Yes, I’ve learned. And that’s why I’m walking, perhaps I’m walking away, once again turning my back on the world as I know it for uncertain footsteps in a new direction of darkness. What light could open up for me at the end of this road I wonder?
Would it be you Sesshomaru? Will you be there?
Yomi wondered through the night, traveling deeper into the demon’s world and entered into the realm of Chaos by dawn. The transitions of realm didn’t help to define the difference of day from night as the sky only grew darker cloudier and more chaotic. Thunder loomed and lightening flashed. Yomi knew it was no storm, this is just how the sky is in Chaos a relentless whirl of demon energies constantly in conflict bashing against each other like smoldering nimbus unable to know the meaning of the word rest.
In his youth he truly believed that the clashing of clouds were the souls of demons battling it out for reasons unknown unable to come to any resolve, and that was why the sky was always like this. Later he learned he wasn’t far off the truth, it was because of the chaos of the land that the sky thundered so, it was the general spirit of chaos that caused it, but every demon soul that perishes only passes through those clouds they never stay there. They head off to their next destination in either heaven or hell just like the living do, only with one difference. Demons can’t be reincarnated. Not unless a god loved them, and they gained the favor of it.
Once dead that’s it for most demons, it was a rare privilege for a demon to be reborn. It meant that the gods had shown their favor, and gave their blessing. One cannot just squander the blessing of life when given a second chance. And Yomi knew he was a reborn demon, that he had lived before.
He knows this because there have been experiences in his life that he couldn’t rationalize with in any other way, things he couldn’t explain, like knowing how to swing a sword without ever having see or touch one before, and understanding certain languages. He was a demon born in a remote part of the wilderness, his language was the one of his people which belonged solely to them. The Seirim do not speak in common tongue they only speak in Seirii, the language of the Seirim. And yet how was it that when Yomi had fled his village and met others that were not Seirim and spoke the common language did he understand them, as if there was no difference?
Because he learned it in a former life, he also knew prayers, stories and superstitions that nobody had told him but were just in his mind. He didn’t make them up, the stories came as memories, the superstitions as fears and the prayers as complaints or moments of weakness when he had to ask out to somebody—oh why me… why this, and the words would come. Sometimes even in languages he had to translate to understand.
He moved slowly into the land, westbound and silent. Trying his best to remain as invisible as possible, repressing his aura, careful not to ruffle his cloak to release as little of his scent into the wind as possible. He kept his hood pulled over him allowing as little flesh as possible to be exposed so to keep it all in.
The hour was day but in Chaos it’s as if it was always night. The land never saw day. The sun never touched a single leaf or flower, not a tree grew in Chaos that existed by natural photosynthesis, but drew on demon energies, or were bloodthirsty, could move of their fee will and some could even talk.
He would like to feel that he lived in a world full of magic, but the harsh reality was all it really was is just Hell. Nonetheless it was home, and a demon had to accept what demons create, right? You make your bed you lay in it, and he knew he had attributed his share in its corruption.
Oh why complain Yomi, this is your world to. It’s what you created, what you wanted right?
He moved on. The land felt dark about him, but he knew the path, he had walked this road many times even when he had eyes. So he could vaguely recall was the scenes around him even looked like. If they had not changed since then. Land had a way of doing that in the demon’s world, one day there can be mountains the next it’s a valley filled with mist. An ocean can give way to land or land to sea, and islands never stayed afloat for very long. Trees could get up and move so sometimes entire forests migrated taking all of its wildlife and nature along with it. Prairie land or barren straits could be left in their place. Hills sunk or rose at will and sometime they too would get up and walk away.
Once again it was a magical place, too bad there weren’t any unicorns. Yomi knew the fables from the human world, their fantasies of magical places and had to laugh, if only they knew. If the human would truly knew what wonders there really was in the lands of mysterious creatures far far away they’d never leave the house, or stray far from their church, because the demon’s world was no fairy land in fact there were no fairies in it, just demons.
Oh yes, home sweet home.
~2~
(to be comtinued)
He didn’t want to be bothered.
His head had felt that it was in a daze since he left. Just yesterday he had defeated the world’s fourth strongest demon in a battle of medal and his hand was stronger, so the world believes. Or so the world will be lead to believe, but Yomi knew if it wasn’t for the Lord’s aid he wouldn’t have gotten through it so easily. Hamot could have gotten the best of him had he not seen the attack coming, if that angel had not stole away his soul for just that moment to show him, he could have been finished.
You are not invulnerable Yomi, you can lose.
I am not a god, far from it. I cannot let myself become too overconfident, it is at times like that when I’ve suffered the most, as if the fates always wait till the most crucial moment to crush me with their dreaded realities.
I felt I had lost even by winning, the empire the kingdom I have been building is a sham—it’s not what I envisioned. Not what I’ve planned. I think about it now and in that moment and I despise my creation, this is not the way I wanted this to be.
I planned for a good world, an enlightened world alight with God and where I can live in peace with faith in the foundations of religion and order. I’ve lived in Chaos, I’ve seen my share of war I care for none of it, I want peace, a time when I will no longer have to fight, or struggle, when no one will.
This was my plan… how did it go wrong?
When did my eyes go so blind that I couldn’t even see the mistakes in my own thoughts? I cannot see my footsteps in front of me because I haven’t the eyes to see then with, but in my mind, where my world truly is, how could I have missed it?
How many temples did I destroy, how many priests died by my hand, the servants, the devoted all because they were Pagan. Were my crusades no better than the humans? Slaughtering innocents without mercy nor care because they worshiped the wrong gods, or no because they simple did not worship God in the same way deemed by the narrow mind of the church! I’m the same, my footsteps have been no different.
I’ve slaughtered and killed, torn down conquered and destroyed, heh, perhaps I should be called Sesshomaru for what it’s worth.
Yomi laughed diligently at himself. As if monitoring his every thought like his own warden.
The demon of cruelty and destruction, I remember having to cringe when I learned that’s what his name meant, and never cared for it. Why someone like him would be given such a name is beyond me. Sesshomaru, I’ve watched him before many times and I couldn’t call him that, though it’s just a name, a name like my own, Yomi. People have asked me why I’m called by a word that speaks of a place where the dead go to rot, and I’ve told them many times, ‘because it’s in a place like that where I have spent the majority of my life.’ and it’s true, I feel it now, yes the name Yomi suits me well. You on the other hand Sesshomaru, you don’t seem like a destructive demon to me, cruel perhaps, but who isn’t. Those of us that seek power, where is there room for kindness? Or perhaps that’s my problem, because I just can’t see it, I promised goods, food and water to my subjects, have yet to deliver and kill off those upon whom I did not shine my favor. No wonder rebels had risen against me, I could just see my mother’s tears if she really knew how I’ve erred.
No Sesshomaru you are not the cruelest among us to be called by such a name. I’ve known cruelty, his name was Kurama a demon I once served and trusted. It was the only time in my like when I wasn’t my own master, but entrusted my will, deeds and actions to someone else, well to the most part anyway. In the end I did get a little careless and I guess it ticked him off. Enough that he decided he no longer wanted me around.
Yes Sesshomaru I know what cruelty is, would you do that? Would you have done that to me? No, I know you… you wouldn’t… would you,’ his thoughts caused a grin, grim and melancholy, his thoughts rolled on. ‘I am willing to bet if you wanted me dead you would have killed me yourself. Am I right? You would have come at me with your claws unsheathed and ready to shred me away to nothing, to oblivion. To imagine those glorious claws sending me to my grave, that personal intimacy of being killed by one you love, and I bet if it were you I could have loved you, just as I almost did of him.
Just for that I would love you. Just prove me wrong and I’ll cut out my heart. I’ll place it right beside yours on God’s alter and say keep it. I have no use for it. Good riddens. Perhaps I’m better off.
Oh Kurama if you could hear my thoughts now, how I yearn to touch your silky white flesh, and to ring my cold hands around your throat to hear your confession. Did you do it, are you the one that sent that assassin, did you truly want me dead? You never even gave me as much as to tell it to me face—why! Were you frightened, did you fear what I would say what I would do? Did you fear my power, when you had your own! That power and those skills of yours, I still don’t know how you do it. You know I’m an animal spirit to, but I could never connect with nature the way you did. I spent my life in the desert or lost in darkness I’ve never basked in the cool solitude of forest greens and surrounded myself with such vitality. I’ve related to no such thing.
Coward. You should have told me you disapproved, you could have scolded me! I was just a child! I needed to learn, you knew that. Why didn’t you teach me? I am perfectly able to learn from my mistakes, I’ve done it all my life, I’m still learning now!
Yes, I’ve learned. And that’s why I’m walking, perhaps I’m walking away, once again turning my back on the world as I know it for uncertain footsteps in a new direction of darkness. What light could open up for me at the end of this road I wonder?
Would it be you Sesshomaru? Will you be there?
Yomi wondered through the night, traveling deeper into the demon’s world and entered into the realm of Chaos by dawn. The transitions of realm didn’t help to define the difference of day from night as the sky only grew darker cloudier and more chaotic. Thunder loomed and lightening flashed. Yomi knew it was no storm, this is just how the sky is in Chaos a relentless whirl of demon energies constantly in conflict bashing against each other like smoldering nimbus unable to know the meaning of the word rest.
In his youth he truly believed that the clashing of clouds were the souls of demons battling it out for reasons unknown unable to come to any resolve, and that was why the sky was always like this. Later he learned he wasn’t far off the truth, it was because of the chaos of the land that the sky thundered so, it was the general spirit of chaos that caused it, but every demon soul that perishes only passes through those clouds they never stay there. They head off to their next destination in either heaven or hell just like the living do, only with one difference. Demons can’t be reincarnated. Not unless a god loved them, and they gained the favor of it.
Once dead that’s it for most demons, it was a rare privilege for a demon to be reborn. It meant that the gods had shown their favor, and gave their blessing. One cannot just squander the blessing of life when given a second chance. And Yomi knew he was a reborn demon, that he had lived before.
He knows this because there have been experiences in his life that he couldn’t rationalize with in any other way, things he couldn’t explain, like knowing how to swing a sword without ever having see or touch one before, and understanding certain languages. He was a demon born in a remote part of the wilderness, his language was the one of his people which belonged solely to them. The Seirim do not speak in common tongue they only speak in Seirii, the language of the Seirim. And yet how was it that when Yomi had fled his village and met others that were not Seirim and spoke the common language did he understand them, as if there was no difference?
Because he learned it in a former life, he also knew prayers, stories and superstitions that nobody had told him but were just in his mind. He didn’t make them up, the stories came as memories, the superstitions as fears and the prayers as complaints or moments of weakness when he had to ask out to somebody—oh why me… why this, and the words would come. Sometimes even in languages he had to translate to understand.
He moved slowly into the land, westbound and silent. Trying his best to remain as invisible as possible, repressing his aura, careful not to ruffle his cloak to release as little of his scent into the wind as possible. He kept his hood pulled over him allowing as little flesh as possible to be exposed so to keep it all in.
The hour was day but in Chaos it’s as if it was always night. The land never saw day. The sun never touched a single leaf or flower, not a tree grew in Chaos that existed by natural photosynthesis, but drew on demon energies, or were bloodthirsty, could move of their fee will and some could even talk.
He would like to feel that he lived in a world full of magic, but the harsh reality was all it really was is just Hell. Nonetheless it was home, and a demon had to accept what demons create, right? You make your bed you lay in it, and he knew he had attributed his share in its corruption.
Oh why complain Yomi, this is your world to. It’s what you created, what you wanted right?
He moved on. The land felt dark about him, but he knew the path, he had walked this road many times even when he had eyes. So he could vaguely recall was the scenes around him even looked like. If they had not changed since then. Land had a way of doing that in the demon’s world, one day there can be mountains the next it’s a valley filled with mist. An ocean can give way to land or land to sea, and islands never stayed afloat for very long. Trees could get up and move so sometimes entire forests migrated taking all of its wildlife and nature along with it. Prairie land or barren straits could be left in their place. Hills sunk or rose at will and sometime they too would get up and walk away.
Once again it was a magical place, too bad there weren’t any unicorns. Yomi knew the fables from the human world, their fantasies of magical places and had to laugh, if only they knew. If the human would truly knew what wonders there really was in the lands of mysterious creatures far far away they’d never leave the house, or stray far from their church, because the demon’s world was no fairy land in fact there were no fairies in it, just demons.
Oh yes, home sweet home.
~2~
(to be comtinued)
