Shelley Duvall's Bedtime Stories Club
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posted by hornean
William Everett Crocodile lived on the banks of the River Nile with his mama.
One day Mama said, "William Everett, now that you have nice crocodile teeth, we must go to Mr. Hippo's store and get you a toothbrush before you start school tomorrow."


William Everett liked Mr. Hippo's store because it was full of things. He and Mama walked up one aisle and down another.
They stopped in front of the toothbrush counter. "You may choose your own toothbrush, William Everett," Mama said.
William Everett looked and looked.

"Hi!" said a toothbrush. "What's your name?"
"My name's William Everett. What's yours?"
"Pete," said the toothbrush.
"I found the toothbrush I want, Mama," said William Everett. "His name is Pete."
"Good," said Mama. "We can go home now."


So Pete became William Everett's toothbrush.
And his best friend, too.

The next morning Mama said, "William Everett, wake up. It's time to go to school."
"Oh, Mama," William Everett said. "I can't wait to read and write and learn all about crocodile history."
"Someday, I will be proud of you, William Everett," Mama said.


"Now, class," said Ms. Ibis. "Today, we are going to learn the alphabet. Then we will be able to write our names. Now, repeat after me...."
The little crocodiles repeated after Ms. Ibis.
"A-B-C-D-E-F-G...."
They said the whole alphabet.
They said the letters over and over again until they knew all of them by heart.

"Well, William Everett," said Mama. "What did you learn in school today?"
"William Everett, say the alphabet," said Pete. William Everett said every letter without a mistake.
"Oh, William Everett," Mama said. "That was beautiful."


The next day, Ms. Ibis taught the class how to write all the letters.
The little crocodiles wrote the letters over and over until they could write them by heart.

"And what did you learn today, William Everett?" Mama asked.
"William Everett, write the letters," said Pete.
William Everett wrote every letter without one mistake.
"You're so smart, William Everett," Mama said. "Someday, you will be famous."


"Today, class, we are going to write our names," said Ms. Ibis.
She showed all the little crocodiles just what letters each one had in his or her name.
They wrote and wrote and wrote and smiled and smiled and smiled.
The letters spelled out: Sam-Jane-John-Kay-Kate-Tom-Amy...
They all wrote and smiled some more.

All except William Everett. He had so many letters in his name that he kept forgetting at least one of them.


Poor William Everett.
Big tears ran down his nose.
"Is something wrong, William Everett?" Pete asked.
"I'll never learn how to write my name," he cried. "It has too many letters."

"Now, now, William Everett," said Pete. "I think I can help you to write your name and not forget any letters."
He took a pencil and wrote.


"Did you learn something today, William Everett?" asked Mama.
"Yes, Mama, I learned to write my name," said William Everett.
"Oh, Bill." Mama beamed.

One Saturday, when there was no school, Bill and Pete went down to the River Nile and sat on the bank in the sun. A man on a bicycle went riding by.
Behind the bicycle were cages filled with crocodiles.
"I wonder what that's all about?" said Bill.


"That's the Bad Guy, and those crocodiles are on their way to Cairo-to become suitcases," said an old crocodile swimming by. "Watch out he doesn't catch you!"

But he did. The very next Saturday.
Bill and Pete were fishing and they didn't hear the Bad Guy creep up behind them.
The Bad Guy lassoed Bill and put him in a cage. He didn't pay attention to Pete.
Pete tried to peck the Bad Guy, but Pete was just too small.


Poor Bill!
He was on his way to Cairo.
All he could think about was suitcases.
Brave Pete!
He stayed close to his friend.

The Bad Guy put Bill in his garden and went into the house.
"Run me a nice hot tub, Jeeves," the Bad Guy said to his butler. "I will take a bath before dinner. I got me another crocodile today and I need a nap. Call me when the bath is ready."
"Tomorrow that crocodile becomes a suitcase," he added.


"Not if I have anything to say about it," said Pete. "I'm more than JUST a toothbrush."
And Pete picked the lock with his beak.

"Quick, Bill. Let's get out of here," said Pete.
"No, I'm mad!" said Bill. "I'm going to make sure there are no more crocodile suitcases."


Bill climbed the wall.

He crept through the living room into the bathroom.


"Your bath is ready, sir," said Jeeves.

And there was Bill, right with the rubber ducky.


The Bad Guy jumped out of the window and didn't stop running all the way to Cairo.

"Oh, look, a nice dinner," said Pete.
"And am I hungry," said Bill.


"Mama, you don't have to cook dinner for us tonight," Bill said when they got home. And he told her what had happened.
"Oh, Bill. Oh, Pete," Mama exclaimed. "What an adventure. I am so proud of the two of you."
posted by hornean
My mother and Bootsie Barker's mother are best friends.
When Mrs. Barker comes to visit, she always brings chocolate donuts, fresh strawberries, and Bootsie.


First, we have a tea party.
Then, my mother tells Bootsie and me to play in my room.

I try to get Bootsie interested in my book about turtles, but Bootsie hates turtles.


"You're a turtle!" howls Bootsie. "And I'm a TURTLE-EATING DINOSAUR!"


My mother calls, "Play nicely, girls!"
Bootsie yells, "We are!"
I can't yell anything.

It's time for the Barkers to go home.
"We'll be back tomorrow!" says Mrs. Barker.
I tell my mother I don't like playing with...
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posted by hornean
Every spring Uncle Wizzmo goes out to buy a new used car, and we go with him!

It's a long drive from our house to Fleeberville. We wave at the animals on Mrs. Nickels' farm.

We drive past Goose Lake and Snookersburg, past the windmill and the recycling plant.

We stop for french fries at Burgerworld, then on to Fleeberville!

Fleeberville! What a place! Signs and shops, motels and restaurants!
We stop at the red light. The used car lot is just ahead.

Every spring Uncle Wizzmo visits Turnpike Larry's used car lot.
Turnpike Larry is always happy to see Uncle Wizzmo.

Turnpike Larry is a friendly sort...
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posted by hornean
We've moved to a new neighborhood.
Mom says the change will do us good.

I have no friends now, living near.
I hope I make some new friends here.

Behind our home a strange house stands,
Like a castle in a foreign land.

I wonder who lives on the hill;
To look at it gives me a chill.


It wasn't very long at all
Till my new neighbors came to call.

They must have come to our front door
To leave the note there on the floor.

I saw the hand that brought the mail.
I caught a glimpse of greenish scale.

Perhaps that hand was just a joke.
If not, our neighbors are strange folk.


I heard footsteps that shook the floor
And...
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posted by hornean
Madame Pestilence expected her students at the Academy for Young Goblins and Witches to scowl at all time. It was one of the many rules that Gloria had trouble remembering.
Every time Madame Pestilence spotted Gloria passing her office, she would hollar, “STOP SMILING!”

It was easy to scowl at dinnertime because the same awful creamed cockroach casserole was served every night. It made all of the students sick.
“Stop complaining!” Madame Pestilence would snarl. “This diet will turn you into wicked witches and goblins—as mean as your headmistress.”

One evening at midnight the students...
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One night Little Toot had a dream. He dreamed he saw an enormous monster with large, bulging eyes and green scales. "It even had flippers and wings," he told the other riverboats.
"There are no monsters!" the riverboats jeered. All but Grandfather Toot. "I have heard of one fierce, awful monster," he said. "It lives in a lake called Loch Ness, far across the sea in Scotland. Go and find out for yourself," he told Little Toot.
"A waste of time," the riverboats said.

It seemed a long, long way to go, but Little Toot was determined to find the monster.
So, hiding his fears, the small tugboat bravely...
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posted by hornean
Patrick and his brother, Hank, went to the zoo on Saturday. They stood outside a tall fence and watched the elephants.
"I'll bet that elephant is the biggest animal in the whole world," said Patrick.
"You think he's big," Hank said. "A brontosaurus was heavier than TEN elephants."


"Gosh!" said Patrick. If Hank said so, it must be true. Hank knew all about dinosaurs. He knew more about everything because he was older and went to school already.
Patick squeezed his eyes half shut. What would a dinosaur that weighed as much as ten elephants look like? The brontosaurus he imagined turned and looked...
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added by hornean
added by hornean
There used to be an alligator under my bed.

When it was time to go to sleep, I had to be very careful

because I knew he was there.

But whenever I looked, he hid...or something.

So I'd call Mom and Dad.

But they never saw it.

It was up to me.
I just had to do something about that alligator.

So I went to the kitchen to get some alligator bait.

I filled a paper bag full of things alligators like to eat.

I put a peanut butter sandwich, some fruit and the last piece of pie in the garage.

I put cookies down the hall.

I left fresh vegetables on the stairs.

I put soda and some candy next to my bed.
Then I watched...
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posted by hornean
There was once a very unbeautiful, very rocky, rotten island. It had acres of sharp gravel and volcanoes that belched fire and smoke, spewed hot lava, and spat poison arrows and double-headed toads.


The spiny, thorny, twisted plants that grew there had never a flower of any kind.
There was an earthquake an hour, black tornadoes, lightning sprees with racking thunder, squalls, cyclones, and dust storms.

At night it froze; all the living things stopped moving and turned to ice. But the volcanoes kept exploding, and the lightest breeze was a hurricane. At sunrise everything thawed out and moved again....
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