I was in the Random spot and was asked to write a random story. "Have a Little Priest" was playing on my iPod, so I decided to base it off the movie.




There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful. She took her barber husband out for lunch every thursday into Nelly's meat pie shop. Little did they know, they weren't eating meat pies at all! They were really eating rotten cherry pie. You see, Nelly Lovette had a difficult time obtaining meat for her pies, so she secretly started gathering cherries. Once she ran out of her entire supply of meat, she turned to the cherries. She noticed they went bad, but she said to herself, "Hey, this is London. Nobody comes here to benefit their health. In fact, I was once told London is a hole in the wall like a great black pit and the vermin of the world inhabbit it, but not for long.... because we all deserve to die." She chuckled to herself, thinking about how fooling that silly beggar lady was. She noticed her spoiled cherry pies were WAY to dry to possibly pass as meat pies, so she visited her barber husband (not the same barber who has a wife, although, he is a barber who apparently has a wife) to borrow some of his "Miracle Elixer" (you don't even want to know what that is made of... A hint: it's exactly what it smells like) Finally, Nelly Lovette finished her pies. They were a hit!!!! Her pie shop was practically overflowing with customers! Eventually, she was forced to get pregnant and give birth to a young boy just so he could sing all around the store to cheer up customers who got tired of waiting in line. She eventually renames her respectable business to "The Best Pies In London" and they all lived happily ever after (except for the barber upstairs... nobody knows that happened to him)