This is one of the more personal chapters in this story, I'd say. There's going to be a lot more personal ones than this later on, and you might look at me (Anastasia [my real name's Natasha though :P lol]) in a different way. *shrugs* I don't know though. I'm just real. :)
Enjoy!!! :)
Chapter 4 – Just so Disappointed
A little over halfway through February, still nothing happened between her and Daniel. By that point, she thought that she had tried almost everything to somehow meet him. Her freshman friend, Patricia, had tried to help her out too. Yet, instead of helping her, it seemed as if she was one of the little things that kept her from meeting Daniel. A couple times, Anastasia had tried to bump into him in the morning. One of these times, she was sure that it was going to happen. When she saw him walking down the hall toward where she was located, she began to walk toward him, looking down at her cell phone in her hands as her excuse for not paying attention. But, when Patricia saw that Anastasia had begun to walk, she walked to the wrong side of her, and threw off her timing. Patricia went to her other side when she realized this, but it didn’t do any good by that time. Anastasia did not bump into him as planned, even though she had come really close to him.
A few seconds after she passed him, she went to get her backpack. While she was walking, Patricia muttered, “I got on the wrong side of you.”
Anastasia began to grow upset.
“You got on the wrong side of me,” she felt like repeating, her voice coming out low. She did not meet eyes with her friend.
“I know I did,” Patricia said.
Anastasia reached down and grabbed her backpack. She swung it on her shoulders and announced, “I’m going to see Cathy now.”
Cathy was another friend of hers who always hung around other people down at the end of the hall. Anastasia felt the need to get away, so she walked over to the end of the hall where she expected to find her. She was there, but only a few seconds after she sat down to talk to her, an old friend of Cathy’s pulled Cathy away from Anastasia, seeming to want to tell her something. So, Anastasia sat on the hallway floor, unsure of what to do, feeling even more upset than before, and she felt it welling up inside of her.
It was then that Ginny noticed her, who was by that area as well, and walked up to her. Anastasia admitted to her that she was upset, and Ginny offered her to come back with her. So, she stood up and went back to the area in the hall where she was usually at in the mornings. When she got back, Patricia tried to talk to her, and at first, Anastasia wouldn’t meet her gaze again. Patricia asked if she was ignoring her, and Anastasia denied it. She wasn’t angry with her friend, but she was very upset at how everything turned out to be. She explained this to her friend in a rather whiney tone that she was not accustomed to hearing. This was her breaking point. She had spent almost everyday since winter break started trying to meet this guy, and was sad that she had gone nowhere. She was furious at all the little things that kept him from her, and was freaking out. Patricia calmed down her friend, and made a new suggestion to her for next time. Anastasia accepted it, and let the topic slide. For the rest of the day, she shoved Daniel to the back of her mind, finding that whenever she thought about him and her efforts to get to know him, it provoked her.
That night, she sat on her bed, writing in her journal.
Dear Diary,
I am very disappointed in myself.
I am disappointed in this whole, stupid crush situation. I am disappointed in some of my friends, and how everything turned out to be, which is nothing. I am disappointed in my personality…my stupid, shy personality. I am disappointed in my ability to find love, which, my ability it practically nothing.
I am very disappointed in the world.
I mean, all I asked for was a stupid introduction. All I asked for was a simple bump in the hall. All I asked for was to get to know him. But, I can’t even get that much. Not a “hi” or a “what’s up?”. Nothing. Don’t I deserve that much?
I wish I knew the future.
I wish I knew some answers.
Right now, even though it might sound stupid, I feel like crying and throwing things. Today, I got so snappy from my bad mood from this whole thing. I’m tired of repeating mornings of hope, and then shattered hope. I’m tired of nothing happening. I’m SICK OF IT! Okay?! So now I must ask— What does the world want from me? In terms of love? The world gave me a guy who liked me back in fifth grade, but I was too blind to see it back then, and too young to pursue it. The world gave me a sweet guy in sixth grade, who my good friend also liked, and who he liked as well. The world gave me the same guy to like in the beginning of seventh grade, and later on in that school year, the world gave me another guy who couldn’t like me at all. And when he said he wanted to be friends, he couldn’t even keep his promise. In ninth grade, the world gave me a guy who at first liked the same friend that the sixth grade guy liked, but then ended up falling for her twin sister, and went out with her while I kept my mouth shut about how I truly felt.
So, what is the world offering me now?! What is the world doing to me?! Why does almost every guy I like not like me back? And, why does every girl I know have some sort of experience more than I do, and why does the world choose me to make me feel sad and angry and hurt?
Anastasia stopped writing for a moment, her pen tapping lightly on her chin. A new thought came to her mind, and she wasn’t sure if she should write it down or not. After about thirty seconds of thinking about it, she decided to write it down.
And, I might get over Daniel soon. I might force myself to. I think it could be that time. But why do I still feel like this story isn’t over yet?
But…whatever. I’m just so disappointed. And that’s all I have to say.
- Ana
After she signed her name, she closed her journal and put it away. Sighing, she crawled under the covers of her bed, and cut off the lamp on the nightstand next to her. She went to sleep that night, about to face another dreadful day of school the next morning.
Enjoy!!! :)
Chapter 4 – Just so Disappointed
A little over halfway through February, still nothing happened between her and Daniel. By that point, she thought that she had tried almost everything to somehow meet him. Her freshman friend, Patricia, had tried to help her out too. Yet, instead of helping her, it seemed as if she was one of the little things that kept her from meeting Daniel. A couple times, Anastasia had tried to bump into him in the morning. One of these times, she was sure that it was going to happen. When she saw him walking down the hall toward where she was located, she began to walk toward him, looking down at her cell phone in her hands as her excuse for not paying attention. But, when Patricia saw that Anastasia had begun to walk, she walked to the wrong side of her, and threw off her timing. Patricia went to her other side when she realized this, but it didn’t do any good by that time. Anastasia did not bump into him as planned, even though she had come really close to him.
A few seconds after she passed him, she went to get her backpack. While she was walking, Patricia muttered, “I got on the wrong side of you.”
Anastasia began to grow upset.
“You got on the wrong side of me,” she felt like repeating, her voice coming out low. She did not meet eyes with her friend.
“I know I did,” Patricia said.
Anastasia reached down and grabbed her backpack. She swung it on her shoulders and announced, “I’m going to see Cathy now.”
Cathy was another friend of hers who always hung around other people down at the end of the hall. Anastasia felt the need to get away, so she walked over to the end of the hall where she expected to find her. She was there, but only a few seconds after she sat down to talk to her, an old friend of Cathy’s pulled Cathy away from Anastasia, seeming to want to tell her something. So, Anastasia sat on the hallway floor, unsure of what to do, feeling even more upset than before, and she felt it welling up inside of her.
It was then that Ginny noticed her, who was by that area as well, and walked up to her. Anastasia admitted to her that she was upset, and Ginny offered her to come back with her. So, she stood up and went back to the area in the hall where she was usually at in the mornings. When she got back, Patricia tried to talk to her, and at first, Anastasia wouldn’t meet her gaze again. Patricia asked if she was ignoring her, and Anastasia denied it. She wasn’t angry with her friend, but she was very upset at how everything turned out to be. She explained this to her friend in a rather whiney tone that she was not accustomed to hearing. This was her breaking point. She had spent almost everyday since winter break started trying to meet this guy, and was sad that she had gone nowhere. She was furious at all the little things that kept him from her, and was freaking out. Patricia calmed down her friend, and made a new suggestion to her for next time. Anastasia accepted it, and let the topic slide. For the rest of the day, she shoved Daniel to the back of her mind, finding that whenever she thought about him and her efforts to get to know him, it provoked her.
That night, she sat on her bed, writing in her journal.
Dear Diary,
I am very disappointed in myself.
I am disappointed in this whole, stupid crush situation. I am disappointed in some of my friends, and how everything turned out to be, which is nothing. I am disappointed in my personality…my stupid, shy personality. I am disappointed in my ability to find love, which, my ability it practically nothing.
I am very disappointed in the world.
I mean, all I asked for was a stupid introduction. All I asked for was a simple bump in the hall. All I asked for was to get to know him. But, I can’t even get that much. Not a “hi” or a “what’s up?”. Nothing. Don’t I deserve that much?
I wish I knew the future.
I wish I knew some answers.
Right now, even though it might sound stupid, I feel like crying and throwing things. Today, I got so snappy from my bad mood from this whole thing. I’m tired of repeating mornings of hope, and then shattered hope. I’m tired of nothing happening. I’m SICK OF IT! Okay?! So now I must ask— What does the world want from me? In terms of love? The world gave me a guy who liked me back in fifth grade, but I was too blind to see it back then, and too young to pursue it. The world gave me a sweet guy in sixth grade, who my good friend also liked, and who he liked as well. The world gave me the same guy to like in the beginning of seventh grade, and later on in that school year, the world gave me another guy who couldn’t like me at all. And when he said he wanted to be friends, he couldn’t even keep his promise. In ninth grade, the world gave me a guy who at first liked the same friend that the sixth grade guy liked, but then ended up falling for her twin sister, and went out with her while I kept my mouth shut about how I truly felt.
So, what is the world offering me now?! What is the world doing to me?! Why does almost every guy I like not like me back? And, why does every girl I know have some sort of experience more than I do, and why does the world choose me to make me feel sad and angry and hurt?
Anastasia stopped writing for a moment, her pen tapping lightly on her chin. A new thought came to her mind, and she wasn’t sure if she should write it down or not. After about thirty seconds of thinking about it, she decided to write it down.
And, I might get over Daniel soon. I might force myself to. I think it could be that time. But why do I still feel like this story isn’t over yet?
But…whatever. I’m just so disappointed. And that’s all I have to say.
- Ana
After she signed her name, she closed her journal and put it away. Sighing, she crawled under the covers of her bed, and cut off the lamp on the nightstand next to her. She went to sleep that night, about to face another dreadful day of school the next morning.
This is one of the more personal chapters in this story, I'd say. There's going to be a lot more personal ones than this later on, and you might look at me (Anastasia [my real name's Natasha though :P lol]) in a different way. *shrugs* I don't know though. I'm just real. :)
Enjoy!!! :)
Chapter 4 – Just so Disappointed
A little over halfway through February, still nothing happened between her and Daniel. By that point, she thought that she had tried almost everything to somehow meet him. Her freshman friend, Patricia, had tried to help her out too. Yet, instead of helping her, it seemed as if she was one of the little things that kept her from meeting Daniel. A couple times, Anastasia had tried to bump into him in the morning. One of these times, she was sure that it was going to happen. When she saw him walking down the hall toward where she was located, she began to walk toward him, looking down at her cell phone in her hands as her excuse for not paying attention. But, when Patricia saw that Anastasia had begun to walk, she walked to the wrong side of her, and threw off her timing. Patricia went to her other side when she realized this, but it didn’t do any good by that time. Anastasia did not bump into him as planned, even though she had come really close to him.
A few seconds after she passed him, she went to get her backpack. While she was walking, Patricia muttered, “I got on the wrong side of you.”
Anastasia began to grow upset.
“You got on the wrong side of me,” she felt like repeating, her voice coming out low. She did not meet eyes with her friend.
“I know I did,” Patricia said.
Anastasia reached down and grabbed her backpack. She swung it on her shoulders and announced, “I’m going to see Cathy now.”
Cathy was another friend of hers who always hung around other people down at the end of the hall. Anastasia felt the need to get away, so she walked over to the end of the hall where she expected to find her. She was there, but only a few seconds after she sat down to talk to her, an old friend of Cathy’s pulled Cathy away from Anastasia, seeming to want to tell her something. So, Anastasia sat on the hallway floor, unsure of what to do, feeling even more upset than before, and she felt it welling up inside of her.
It was then that Ginny noticed her, who was by that area as well, and walked up to her. Anastasia admitted to her that she was upset, and Ginny offered her to come back with her. So, she stood up and went back to the area in the hall where she was usually at in the mornings. When she got back, Patricia tried to talk to her, and at first, Anastasia wouldn’t meet her gaze again. Patricia asked if she was ignoring her, and Anastasia denied it. She wasn’t angry with her friend, but she was very upset at how everything turned out to be. She explained this to her friend in a rather whiney tone that she was not accustomed to hearing. This was her breaking point. She had spent almost everyday since winter break started trying to meet this guy, and was sad that she had gone nowhere. She was furious at all the little things that kept him from her, and was freaking out. Patricia calmed down her friend, and made a new suggestion to her for next time. Anastasia accepted it, and let the topic slide. For the rest of the day, she shoved Daniel to the back of her mind, finding that whenever she thought about him and her efforts to get to know him, it provoked her.
That night, she sat on her bed, writing in her journal.
Dear Diary,
I am very disappointed in myself.
I am disappointed in this whole, stupid crush situation. I am disappointed in some of my friends, and how everything turned out to be, which is nothing. I am disappointed in my personality…my stupid, shy personality. I am disappointed in my ability to find love, which, my ability it practically nothing.
I am very disappointed in the world.
I mean, all I asked for was a stupid introduction. All I asked for was a simple bump in the hall. All I asked for was to get to know him. But, I can’t even get that much. Not a “hi” or a “what’s up?”. Nothing. Don’t I deserve that much?
I wish I knew the future.
I wish I knew some answers.
Right now, even though it might sound stupid, I feel like crying and throwing things. Today, I got so snappy from my bad mood from this whole thing. I’m tired of repeating mornings of hope, and then shattered hope. I’m tired of nothing happening. I’m SICK OF IT! Okay?! So now I must ask— What does the world want from me? In terms of love? The world gave me a guy who liked me back in fifth grade, but I was too blind to see it back then, and too young to pursue it. The world gave me a sweet guy in sixth grade, who my good friend also liked, and who he liked as well. The world gave me the same guy to like in the beginning of seventh grade, and later on in that school year, the world gave me another guy who couldn’t like me at all. And when he said he wanted to be friends, he couldn’t even keep his promise. In ninth grade, the world gave me a guy who at first liked the same friend that the sixth grade guy liked, but then ended up falling for her twin sister, and went out with her while I kept my mouth shut about how I truly felt.
So, what is the world offering me now?! What is the world doing to me?! Why does almost every guy I like not like me back? And, why does every girl I know have some sort of experience more than I do, and why does the world choose me to make me feel sad and angry and hurt?
Anastasia stopped writing for a moment, her pen tapping lightly on her chin. A new thought came to her mind, and she wasn’t sure if she should write it down or not. After about thirty seconds of thinking about it, she decided to write it down.
And, I might get over Daniel soon. I might force myself to. I think it could be that time. But why do I still feel like this story isn’t over yet?
But…whatever. I’m just so disappointed. And that’s all I have to say.
- Ana
After she signed her name, she closed her journal and put it away. Sighing, she crawled under the covers of her bed, and cut off the lamp on the nightstand next to her. She went to sleep that night, about to face another dreadful day of school the next morning.
Enjoy!!! :)
Chapter 4 – Just so Disappointed
A little over halfway through February, still nothing happened between her and Daniel. By that point, she thought that she had tried almost everything to somehow meet him. Her freshman friend, Patricia, had tried to help her out too. Yet, instead of helping her, it seemed as if she was one of the little things that kept her from meeting Daniel. A couple times, Anastasia had tried to bump into him in the morning. One of these times, she was sure that it was going to happen. When she saw him walking down the hall toward where she was located, she began to walk toward him, looking down at her cell phone in her hands as her excuse for not paying attention. But, when Patricia saw that Anastasia had begun to walk, she walked to the wrong side of her, and threw off her timing. Patricia went to her other side when she realized this, but it didn’t do any good by that time. Anastasia did not bump into him as planned, even though she had come really close to him.
A few seconds after she passed him, she went to get her backpack. While she was walking, Patricia muttered, “I got on the wrong side of you.”
Anastasia began to grow upset.
“You got on the wrong side of me,” she felt like repeating, her voice coming out low. She did not meet eyes with her friend.
“I know I did,” Patricia said.
Anastasia reached down and grabbed her backpack. She swung it on her shoulders and announced, “I’m going to see Cathy now.”
Cathy was another friend of hers who always hung around other people down at the end of the hall. Anastasia felt the need to get away, so she walked over to the end of the hall where she expected to find her. She was there, but only a few seconds after she sat down to talk to her, an old friend of Cathy’s pulled Cathy away from Anastasia, seeming to want to tell her something. So, Anastasia sat on the hallway floor, unsure of what to do, feeling even more upset than before, and she felt it welling up inside of her.
It was then that Ginny noticed her, who was by that area as well, and walked up to her. Anastasia admitted to her that she was upset, and Ginny offered her to come back with her. So, she stood up and went back to the area in the hall where she was usually at in the mornings. When she got back, Patricia tried to talk to her, and at first, Anastasia wouldn’t meet her gaze again. Patricia asked if she was ignoring her, and Anastasia denied it. She wasn’t angry with her friend, but she was very upset at how everything turned out to be. She explained this to her friend in a rather whiney tone that she was not accustomed to hearing. This was her breaking point. She had spent almost everyday since winter break started trying to meet this guy, and was sad that she had gone nowhere. She was furious at all the little things that kept him from her, and was freaking out. Patricia calmed down her friend, and made a new suggestion to her for next time. Anastasia accepted it, and let the topic slide. For the rest of the day, she shoved Daniel to the back of her mind, finding that whenever she thought about him and her efforts to get to know him, it provoked her.
That night, she sat on her bed, writing in her journal.
Dear Diary,
I am very disappointed in myself.
I am disappointed in this whole, stupid crush situation. I am disappointed in some of my friends, and how everything turned out to be, which is nothing. I am disappointed in my personality…my stupid, shy personality. I am disappointed in my ability to find love, which, my ability it practically nothing.
I am very disappointed in the world.
I mean, all I asked for was a stupid introduction. All I asked for was a simple bump in the hall. All I asked for was to get to know him. But, I can’t even get that much. Not a “hi” or a “what’s up?”. Nothing. Don’t I deserve that much?
I wish I knew the future.
I wish I knew some answers.
Right now, even though it might sound stupid, I feel like crying and throwing things. Today, I got so snappy from my bad mood from this whole thing. I’m tired of repeating mornings of hope, and then shattered hope. I’m tired of nothing happening. I’m SICK OF IT! Okay?! So now I must ask— What does the world want from me? In terms of love? The world gave me a guy who liked me back in fifth grade, but I was too blind to see it back then, and too young to pursue it. The world gave me a sweet guy in sixth grade, who my good friend also liked, and who he liked as well. The world gave me the same guy to like in the beginning of seventh grade, and later on in that school year, the world gave me another guy who couldn’t like me at all. And when he said he wanted to be friends, he couldn’t even keep his promise. In ninth grade, the world gave me a guy who at first liked the same friend that the sixth grade guy liked, but then ended up falling for her twin sister, and went out with her while I kept my mouth shut about how I truly felt.
So, what is the world offering me now?! What is the world doing to me?! Why does almost every guy I like not like me back? And, why does every girl I know have some sort of experience more than I do, and why does the world choose me to make me feel sad and angry and hurt?
Anastasia stopped writing for a moment, her pen tapping lightly on her chin. A new thought came to her mind, and she wasn’t sure if she should write it down or not. After about thirty seconds of thinking about it, she decided to write it down.
And, I might get over Daniel soon. I might force myself to. I think it could be that time. But why do I still feel like this story isn’t over yet?
But…whatever. I’m just so disappointed. And that’s all I have to say.
- Ana
After she signed her name, she closed her journal and put it away. Sighing, she crawled under the covers of her bed, and cut off the lamp on the nightstand next to her. She went to sleep that night, about to face another dreadful day of school the next morning.
SO, this is a poem I wrote in creative writing class a couple months ago. :) I hope you enjoy it!
One Day
One day I hope to find you
Somewhere out there in the wilderness
One day I hope to save you from your pain
And forever we could feel bliss
I know that I have faith in you
But I vow to find you first
Being by your side again would be refreshing
Much similar to the feeling of quenched thirst
I would swim through oceans to meet you
For seeing you is my only desire
I would endure all kinds of agony
Being here without you is like burning in fire
There is no way I can survive without you
So I’m begging on my knees
I know that we are meant to be by fate
And one day we can complete each other’s destinies
One Day
One day I hope to find you
Somewhere out there in the wilderness
One day I hope to save you from your pain
And forever we could feel bliss
I know that I have faith in you
But I vow to find you first
Being by your side again would be refreshing
Much similar to the feeling of quenched thirst
I would swim through oceans to meet you
For seeing you is my only desire
I would endure all kinds of agony
Being here without you is like burning in fire
There is no way I can survive without you
So I’m begging on my knees
I know that we are meant to be by fate
And one day we can complete each other’s destinies