Ayumi: And it was said, the principal was so fat, every died
Satoshi: Re-really
Yoshiki: I’m calling bullshit on that (All the lights turn off)
Satoshi: Oh, god. I think I pissed myself
Yui: (Turns on the lights) Oh, it’s just me and Yuka
Yuka: I WILL EAT YOUR SOULS
Mayu: Aww, she’s so cute
Yuka: I’LL CUT YOU, BITCH
Satoshi: Oh, thank god. I thought I was dead (Unknowingly, grabbing Naomi’s breasts)
Naomi: Satoshi, will you stop fondling my breasts firmly with your hands and-
Seiko: Naomi, you're having your crazy fantasies again
Naomi: Oh, right. Sorry
Satoshi: ….. Huh
Namoi: …… Will you take your hands off my breasts
Satoshi: (Lets go of them) Sorry
Sakutaro: Why the fuck am I here
Mayu: Lets make a friendship thingy, that totally won’t go horribly wrong in anyway
Satoshi: Huh…… Okay (Everyone pulls on the paper doll)
Paper Doll: AAAAHHHH! WHY!!!
Seiko: ….. Well that was fun (Floor collapses)
(Later)
Naomi: Oh, where am I
Seiko: You’re with me. Now, we can spend some time together. Just the two of us
Naomi: Kinda creeping me the fuck out, Seiko
Seiko: I know. Isn’t it great
(Later)
Seiko: (Leaves Naomi on the bed) Now, Naomi. Stay here while I go and get the whips and chains
Naomi: The what?
Spirit: (Appears) Hey, lady. Ever heard of hentai
Naomi: Not really
Spirit: Here, let me show you (Tightly grips her, while lifting her skirt up)
Naomi: I am somehow getting aroused by this
Seiko: I found them
Spirit: Oh shit (Disappears)
Seiko: (Walks in) I’m back
Naomi: Damn it, Seiko. I was having the best girl-on-creepy-ghost-thing action, and then you come in and ruin it. What kind of friend ruins their friends sex fantasies like that
Seiko: I am somehow hurt and I’m gonna run off (Leaves)
Naomi: She’ll be fine
(Later)
Naomi: (Finds Seiko’s corpse hanging from a noose) Well, shit
(Meanwhile)
Yui: Hey, Mayu
Mayu: Hi, Yui. Look what I find. Ghost children. Aren’t they adorable
Tokiko: (Gargles)
Yuki: What my friend is trying to say is DIE BITCH (Grabs her and smashes her into a wall, killing her)
(Meanwhile)
Satoshi: Hey, Yuka, can I go pee
Yuka: YOU WILL DIE
Satoshi: Thanks, sis (Tries to unzip his pants) Come on
Sachiko: (To Yuka) Hey, wanna see something cool
Yuka: Huh… okay (Follows her)
Satoshi: Yuka… where’d you go
(Meanwhile)
Ayumi: I am going to be shipped with you and your gonna like it
Yoshiki: Huh……… whatever
(Meanwhile)
Sakutaro: (Plays Flappy Bird on phone) I fucking hate this game (Gets Facebook notice) Oh, a Facebook notice (Cheeks) (See’s Mayu’s dead body)
Description: Hey, Sakutaro. I got killed (Sad face). It sucks
Sakutaro: …. Well, time to go fucking crazy
(Later)
Sakutaro: (Beats dead bodies with crowbar) I don’t know where I found this crowbar and I don’t care (Smashes dead bodies)
Yuka: (Walks around) Where did that bitch go
Sakutaro: Hey, Yuka. Want to see something cool
Yuka: Well, I fell for that once, so not re-
Sakutaro: It’s a dead body. Isn’t it beautiful
Yuka: …. Aren’t I supposed to be the scary one
Sakutaro: Enough talk. I’m gonna kill you now
Yuuya: No you won’t
Sakutaro: Oh, okay (Yuuya stabs Sakutaro in the neck and he dies)
Yuuya: Now, Yuka, how about we go back to my place
Yuka: I’m gonna get molested, aren’t I
(Meanwhile)
Naho: I’m fucking crazy
Yoshiki: Yet your breasts are fantastic
Naho: …. eh, true
Ayumi: Will we see you again
Naho: No (Blows up and dies)
(Meanwhile)
Yuka: (Tied up) I knew it. This is how the molesting sta- (Gets stabbed) AH! THAT’S NOT MOLESTATION AT ALL
Yuuya: Just die
Yuka: Okay (Dies)
Satoshi: No! I still have to pee
Yoshiki: Guys, get out of here
Satoshi: …. Where did you come fro-
Yoshiki: Just go
Satoshi: Okay. I mean, I would have let you guys go ahead, but, thanks for doing it for me, Yoshiki. Your such a good friend
Yoshiki: No, wait. Take my place. TAKE MY- (His head gets smashed and he dies)
(Meanwhile)
Yui: I haven’t died yet (Her head gets cut off) Oh, goddamn it
(Meanwhile)
Sachiko: I am an evil ghost girl
Naomi: Oh my god, it’s The Ring
Ayumi: Oh my god, it’s The Exorcist
Satoshi: Oh my god, I gotta pee
Sachiko: JUST SHUT UP! I am an evil spirit that kills people, and I killed everyone in this school (Shows flashback of her killing everyone) How’s that
Satoshi: Well… at least I don’t have to pee anymore
Sachiko: So, lets see who’s left. We have a little bitch, a crazy bitch, and a stupid bitch
Naomi: Yep. And Satoshi is all three of those
Satoshi: Hey, I’m not a bitch
Naomi: Yeah, you are
Satoshi: Well, what about you guys
Ayumi: Yeah, your a bitch
Sachiko: Yeah, I agree
Satoshi: Aww
Sachiko: Yeah…. Okay, you can die now (Stabs Satoshi with scissors)
Satoshi: OH GOD, MY STOMACH!
Naomi: Wait, you can’t kill Satoshi. The Shippers would be devastated
Sachiko: Oh, I don’t care
Naomi: Your mother got killed when you were a child
Sachiko: Huh. True… aw, fuck it, I’m bored. Bye. (Disappears)
Satoshi: I guess we’re safe
Ayumi: The place is collapsing
Satoshi: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE
Naomi: Grab the paper
Satoshi: How will this help
Naomi: Just do it
Satoshi: (Grabs paper and they all teleport)
(Later)
Naomi: (Holds Satoshi’s severed arm)
Ayumi: Well, it looks like he was… DISARMED. Ha ha ha ha ha…….. Too soon
THE END
Reader: This parody sucks. The writer needs to kill himself… and then he needs to make more Death Note Parodies
THE END… FOR REALS THIS TIME