Soichiro: So, what do you guys think L will look like
Matsuda: Maybe he might be a young boy who fangirls will freak out over, yet males don't know why
Soichiro: Matsuda, that is the worst description ever. This is why you sit alone at the lunch table.
L: (Come out of the room, looking exactly like Matsuda said) Hi, I’m L. But you can call me Ryuzaki.
Soichiro: A-ha. I knew he was a young boy
Matsuda: Wait, but I’m the one that said-
Aizawa: Stop trying to take Soichiro’s glory, Matsuda
L: Well, if Matsuda is done being a cry-baby bitch, we can get our meeting started.
link
Soichiro: So, Ryuzaki, we have been thinking about keeping criminals from being broadcasted on the news, so they aren’t kill-
L: No, that’s a terrible idea
Soichiro: What? Why?
L: Think about it. Without criminals, who will Kira go after
Matsuda: You-
Aizawa: You?
L: Yes, that’s right Aizawa
Matsuda: OH COME ON-
L: Now, with that said, I have decided that I am going to win in the end
Soichiro: How can you be so sure
L: Well, I’m the hero. That instantly means I win. When has any show or movie ever let the bad guy win
Matsuda: Well, there was Se7en, No Country for Old Men, Rosemary’s Baby, The Wicker Man, Silence of the Lambs-
L: Watari, slap him
(Watari slaps Matsuda in the back of the head)
(Meanwhile)
Light: (Delivering clothes to his father) Deliver clothes. I can’t believe this crap. What am I, a godlike villain who kills people or the goddamn laundromat.
Naomi: (As she’s walking, she bumps into Light)
Light: Hey, watch where you’re going
Naomi: You watch where you’re going
Light: Bitch, do you know who I am. I am Kiiiiiiiiiiiiii- King of this sidewalk. Yeah. That’s it
Naomi: Uh-huh. Well, I don’t have time for this
Light: And just what are you doing
Naomi: I am going to see the police force and going to find Kira
Light: ……………….. Really? Is that so?
Naomi: Yeah
Light: Well then, I will just have to killlllllllllllll time by walking with you
Naomi: Why? I don’t even know you
Light: Come on, we’re friends
Naomi: No we’re not
Light: You can trust me
Naomi: I’d have more trust in a homeless man without pants than I would you
Light: Wonderful. Now, tell me a bit about yourself. Like, your favorite color. Your favorite cast member from Friends. What your name is so I can make a note of it in a certain notebook.
Naomi: Well, I wanted to get involved in the Kira case after my husband died.
Light: And who might that be
Naomi: Well, his name was Raye Penber
Light: Raye Pentatonix, huh. Sounds like an asshole who deserved to die- I mean, a really nice guy
Naomi: He was. He would always force me to get up in the morning and make him a meal. He would sometimes even cheat on me with other women. Oh, what a nice man
Light: ……. Why?
Naomi: I’m a bit of a masochist
Light: Oh
Naomi: Anyway, it was nice talking to you
Light: You two. Though, I never got your name
Naomi: Oh, it’s Shouko Maki. Take care (Leaves)
Light: (Grins) And like that, I am the winner (Writes her name on a piece of paper) And she should drop in three… two… ONE (She keeps walking) What the hell. RYUK!
Ryuk: I’m standing right next to you. You don’t have to yell
Light: This Death Note’s broken. I want a refund.
Ryuk: You dumbass. Don’t you see it. She tricked you
Light: She… tricked me?
Ryuk: Yeah, she used a fake name. Thought you would get it by now
Light: THAT CHEATING BITCH! I’m gonna stop her no matter what.
(Meanwhile)
L: And that is why I will win
Soichiro: You took an entire cutaway just to describe who you’re the protagonist
L: Yeah
Aizawa: It was pretty convincing
L: Yes, now, onto our next topic, I have here a set of gadgets to help you. If any of you are in danger, just press the button on the belt and help will come for you.
Matsuda: Hey, there’s only four here. Don’t I get a cool gadget-
L: YOU’LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!
(Meanwhile)
Naomi: Why are you still following me
Light: Because, I just want to talk to you about something. You see, I am not really some typical good looking honor student. I’m actually a typical good looking honor student…..
Naomi: ……. And-
Light: Who is also working with L. I could help you meet him if you give me some identification
Namoi: And you're telling me this now, why?
Light: Because fuck you! Now let me see some goddamn identification. That is the only way you can work with L
Naomi: Well… alright (Hands her her driver’s license)
Light: (Looks at it) I thought your name was Shouko? Why does your license say Naomi
Naomi: Well, I had to use an alias, so-
Light: You dirty, lying bitch! You think you can lie to me. You know what? Fuck you. I was gonna let you off easy, but after seeing that you lied to my face? No! Fuck that! Your name is going in the Death Note! Right now! (Writes her real name on a piece of paper from the Death Note)
Naomi: I don’t get why you’re so upset
Light: Well, I only got forty seconds to explain, but, I am Kira
Naomi: (Suddenly filled with fear)
Light: Shocking, I know. You see, I don’t like people lying to me, even if they are no real threat. You see, you think you could stop me, but you're just some girl with real bad taste in guys. Lying to a god like me has only made you closer to dying, so, congratulations. You’ve pissed off a god enough to warrant death. I hope you're happy with your life choices.
Naomi: ……….
Light: Well, we got about (Looks at his watch) seven seconds left………. Seen any good movies lately (The clock reaches forty seconds and Naomi walks off)
Light: Oh, okay, so you're just gonna walk off. Okay, that’s nice. Yeah, I wrote in the Death Note, that Naomi, the lying bitch, is gonna kill herself in a few days. I look forward to the headlines. See you in hell, liar (Walks off)
To Be Continued
Matsuda: Maybe he might be a young boy who fangirls will freak out over, yet males don't know why
Soichiro: Matsuda, that is the worst description ever. This is why you sit alone at the lunch table.
L: (Come out of the room, looking exactly like Matsuda said) Hi, I’m L. But you can call me Ryuzaki.
Soichiro: A-ha. I knew he was a young boy
Matsuda: Wait, but I’m the one that said-
Aizawa: Stop trying to take Soichiro’s glory, Matsuda
L: Well, if Matsuda is done being a cry-baby bitch, we can get our meeting started.
link
Soichiro: So, Ryuzaki, we have been thinking about keeping criminals from being broadcasted on the news, so they aren’t kill-
L: No, that’s a terrible idea
Soichiro: What? Why?
L: Think about it. Without criminals, who will Kira go after
Matsuda: You-
Aizawa: You?
L: Yes, that’s right Aizawa
Matsuda: OH COME ON-
L: Now, with that said, I have decided that I am going to win in the end
Soichiro: How can you be so sure
L: Well, I’m the hero. That instantly means I win. When has any show or movie ever let the bad guy win
Matsuda: Well, there was Se7en, No Country for Old Men, Rosemary’s Baby, The Wicker Man, Silence of the Lambs-
L: Watari, slap him
(Watari slaps Matsuda in the back of the head)
(Meanwhile)
Light: (Delivering clothes to his father) Deliver clothes. I can’t believe this crap. What am I, a godlike villain who kills people or the goddamn laundromat.
Naomi: (As she’s walking, she bumps into Light)
Light: Hey, watch where you’re going
Naomi: You watch where you’re going
Light: Bitch, do you know who I am. I am Kiiiiiiiiiiiiii- King of this sidewalk. Yeah. That’s it
Naomi: Uh-huh. Well, I don’t have time for this
Light: And just what are you doing
Naomi: I am going to see the police force and going to find Kira
Light: ……………….. Really? Is that so?
Naomi: Yeah
Light: Well then, I will just have to killlllllllllllll time by walking with you
Naomi: Why? I don’t even know you
Light: Come on, we’re friends
Naomi: No we’re not
Light: You can trust me
Naomi: I’d have more trust in a homeless man without pants than I would you
Light: Wonderful. Now, tell me a bit about yourself. Like, your favorite color. Your favorite cast member from Friends. What your name is so I can make a note of it in a certain notebook.
Naomi: Well, I wanted to get involved in the Kira case after my husband died.
Light: And who might that be
Naomi: Well, his name was Raye Penber
Light: Raye Pentatonix, huh. Sounds like an asshole who deserved to die- I mean, a really nice guy
Naomi: He was. He would always force me to get up in the morning and make him a meal. He would sometimes even cheat on me with other women. Oh, what a nice man
Light: ……. Why?
Naomi: I’m a bit of a masochist
Light: Oh
Naomi: Anyway, it was nice talking to you
Light: You two. Though, I never got your name
Naomi: Oh, it’s Shouko Maki. Take care (Leaves)
Light: (Grins) And like that, I am the winner (Writes her name on a piece of paper) And she should drop in three… two… ONE (She keeps walking) What the hell. RYUK!
Ryuk: I’m standing right next to you. You don’t have to yell
Light: This Death Note’s broken. I want a refund.
Ryuk: You dumbass. Don’t you see it. She tricked you
Light: She… tricked me?
Ryuk: Yeah, she used a fake name. Thought you would get it by now
Light: THAT CHEATING BITCH! I’m gonna stop her no matter what.
(Meanwhile)
L: And that is why I will win
Soichiro: You took an entire cutaway just to describe who you’re the protagonist
L: Yeah
Aizawa: It was pretty convincing
L: Yes, now, onto our next topic, I have here a set of gadgets to help you. If any of you are in danger, just press the button on the belt and help will come for you.
Matsuda: Hey, there’s only four here. Don’t I get a cool gadget-
L: YOU’LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!
(Meanwhile)
Naomi: Why are you still following me
Light: Because, I just want to talk to you about something. You see, I am not really some typical good looking honor student. I’m actually a typical good looking honor student…..
Naomi: ……. And-
Light: Who is also working with L. I could help you meet him if you give me some identification
Namoi: And you're telling me this now, why?
Light: Because fuck you! Now let me see some goddamn identification. That is the only way you can work with L
Naomi: Well… alright (Hands her her driver’s license)
Light: (Looks at it) I thought your name was Shouko? Why does your license say Naomi
Naomi: Well, I had to use an alias, so-
Light: You dirty, lying bitch! You think you can lie to me. You know what? Fuck you. I was gonna let you off easy, but after seeing that you lied to my face? No! Fuck that! Your name is going in the Death Note! Right now! (Writes her real name on a piece of paper from the Death Note)
Naomi: I don’t get why you’re so upset
Light: Well, I only got forty seconds to explain, but, I am Kira
Naomi: (Suddenly filled with fear)
Light: Shocking, I know. You see, I don’t like people lying to me, even if they are no real threat. You see, you think you could stop me, but you're just some girl with real bad taste in guys. Lying to a god like me has only made you closer to dying, so, congratulations. You’ve pissed off a god enough to warrant death. I hope you're happy with your life choices.
Naomi: ……….
Light: Well, we got about (Looks at his watch) seven seconds left………. Seen any good movies lately (The clock reaches forty seconds and Naomi walks off)
Light: Oh, okay, so you're just gonna walk off. Okay, that’s nice. Yeah, I wrote in the Death Note, that Naomi, the lying bitch, is gonna kill herself in a few days. I look forward to the headlines. See you in hell, liar (Walks off)
To Be Continued
