There was a website, or phone calling service, or something, that would answer questions about Australia for people that were vacationing there. Some of the questions weren't very intelligent, so the people who answered the questions decided to have fun with them.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night-clubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night-clubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first
The whole conversationd wouldn't fit on one screenshot so here it is;
Stranger: asl
Stranger: ?
You: Oh! There you are! I've been looking for you forever!
Stranger: oh really?
You: I'll never say goodbye to you!
You: I'm crazy about you!
You: I love you!
Stranger: is that good or bad?
Stranger: well are you a guy or a girl?
You: Kurt, don't you love me?
Stranger: nope guess not
You: But Kurt it's me Blaine!
Stranger: that sucks dont it
You: :'(
Stranger: stop your bitchin
You: Kurt. It's me, Blaine! Your boyfriend.
Stranger: ha fuckin faggot
Stranger: i hate fags
Stranger: they are as bad as niggers and soicks
Stranger: spicks
You: I'M IN A RAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE. THIS IS THE MADDEST I'VE EVER BEEN!
Stranger: asl
Stranger: ?
You: Oh! There you are! I've been looking for you forever!
Stranger: oh really?
You: I'll never say goodbye to you!
You: I'm crazy about you!
You: I love you!
Stranger: is that good or bad?
Stranger: well are you a guy or a girl?
You: Kurt, don't you love me?
Stranger: nope guess not
You: But Kurt it's me Blaine!
Stranger: that sucks dont it
You: :'(
Stranger: stop your bitchin
You: Kurt. It's me, Blaine! Your boyfriend.
Stranger: ha fuckin faggot
Stranger: i hate fags
Stranger: they are as bad as niggers and soicks
Stranger: spicks
You: I'M IN A RAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE. THIS IS THE MADDEST I'VE EVER BEEN!
Isobel Panhurst 28 April at 19:52
Hi
How are you?
What you been up to?
Hows life?
Whats the meaning of life?
Do you ship Klaine?
Do you ship Spuffy?
You don't ship Kurtofsky do you?
Is there and English exam next week?
Did you watch Glee on Monday?
Did you know Chris Colfer leaked that Darren Criss has a girlfriend?
Did you know Starship premiers on Saturday
Did you know the new Harry Potter trailer came out Yesterday?
Is that enough questions for you?
wait the HP trailer came out today....i think.....Tumblr confused me
oh enough question
Are you a Tumblr addict?
OMG Do you like Drarry?
are you against people asking questions?
He still hasn't replied :P ROFLLL
he really shouldn't have called me a bitch earlier.....
Hi
How are you?
What you been up to?
Hows life?
Whats the meaning of life?
Do you ship Klaine?
Do you ship Spuffy?
You don't ship Kurtofsky do you?
Is there and English exam next week?
Did you watch Glee on Monday?
Did you know Chris Colfer leaked that Darren Criss has a girlfriend?
Did you know Starship premiers on Saturday
Did you know the new Harry Potter trailer came out Yesterday?
Is that enough questions for you?
wait the HP trailer came out today....i think.....Tumblr confused me
oh enough question
Are you a Tumblr addict?
OMG Do you like Drarry?
are you against people asking questions?
He still hasn't replied :P ROFLLL
he really shouldn't have called me a bitch earlier.....