So as you all know, I grew up in America, Las Vegas to be exact, and then I moved back to my home nation, Australia. And during primary school, no-one was particularly curious, but high school is a whole different story. Below are some stupid questions I got and my reactions:

1. Were you born in America?

(No, motherfucker.)

2. Were your parents from America or something?

(Yeah, of course, they're definitely not Asian, I was adopted. /sarcasm.)

3. So, like, how many pairs of shoes did you buy from New York?

(I've never been to motherfucking New York in my life.)

4. So like, are you from the 'hood'?

(I have a 'hood'. *points at hoodie*)

5. Did you used to have a big locker?

(*bitch-slap* What part of elementary school do you not understand?)

6. Did you wear mufti every day?

(>[)

7. Say tomato.

(How about no?)

8. Say herbs.

(Herbs?)

Proper Americans say 'errrrrrrbs.

(*slaps in face* Proper bitches get bitch-slapped.)

9. *asks random question about American History*

(*ignores coz didn't get to learn much about American history*)

And the stupidest question of them all:

10. Why did you leave America? I mean, it seems so totally awesome! Why would you ever leave? I would stay there like forever.

(Two syllables: par-ents. Just coz it's a free country, doesn't mean I'm independent enough to go without my parents. I love my mommy... coz she fucked my dad.)

OR alternatively:

(My mom got raped in a parking lot and I joined a gang to learn how to rape too so I could rape the rapist back. Want a demo? *sticks finger inside nearest person's belly button*)