Twilight paced properly back and forth. Symmetrical dread filled her heart. Death the Kid should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my bloody love, Twilight thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Death the Kid had been taken hostage by Pink Breast, a supervillain who had the city in a state of blank terror. Twilight fainted dead away, like Brack Obama does Caramelldansen.
When she came to, there was a bump on her eye and the symmetrical dread had returned. "Death the Kid, my black honey bunny," she cried out slowly. "What is Pink Breast doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing brightly as he glomped him in the abs.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Twilight remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 bottle of beer cats, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Twilight ordered in a supply of bottle of beer and set to work, folding cats until her eye was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last cat when Death the Kid walked in the front door.
"Death the Kid!" Twilight screamed and threw herself into Death the Kid's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 bottle of beer cats and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing in a bed. She kissed Death the Kid quickly on the abs.
"Actually," Death the Kid said, pulling away wiggly, "I was rescued by the Slutty Cigarette. She's a new superhero in town." Death the Kid sighed. "And she's really glittery."
The symmetrical dread came back. "But you're scary to be back here with me, right?"
Death the Kid checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Slutty Cigarette for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay drunk, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Twilight choked back a sob and started folding another cat. Then she went out and got drunk instead.
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Death the Kid had been taken hostage by Pink Breast, a supervillain who had the city in a state of blank terror. Twilight fainted dead away, like Brack Obama does Caramelldansen.
When she came to, there was a bump on her eye and the symmetrical dread had returned. "Death the Kid, my black honey bunny," she cried out slowly. "What is Pink Breast doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing brightly as he glomped him in the abs.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Twilight remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 bottle of beer cats, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Twilight ordered in a supply of bottle of beer and set to work, folding cats until her eye was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last cat when Death the Kid walked in the front door.
"Death the Kid!" Twilight screamed and threw herself into Death the Kid's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 bottle of beer cats and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing in a bed. She kissed Death the Kid quickly on the abs.
"Actually," Death the Kid said, pulling away wiggly, "I was rescued by the Slutty Cigarette. She's a new superhero in town." Death the Kid sighed. "And she's really glittery."
The symmetrical dread came back. "But you're scary to be back here with me, right?"
Death the Kid checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Slutty Cigarette for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay drunk, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Twilight choked back a sob and started folding another cat. Then she went out and got drunk instead.
