Cinders OK... I like this actually. You have a steady rhyme scheme that doesn't feel forced. Your rhythm is fairly well-done, with rare stuttering. The random comma between "words tainted" and "by rotted lips," for example, confuses me, and sort of trips up your rhythm there. Your last quatrain is structurally fine but feels a little cliche. There's nothing wrong with that, but in poetry you don't necessarily have to lay your point out in black and white. It may be more powerful if it was implied. But I don't think this piece is bad at all, really. You use some interesting imagery. Like I told greekthegeek, I think my issue with your final quatrian is you lose your lovely concrete images and flip over to the abstract (using words like "love, death, life, memory...") Try and keep the concrete feel of it to the end. The tone is clear throughout the poem, and I think the point is obvious enough without stating it so frankly. Still, I think you did a fabulous job. :o)

harold I think it's great, and I appreciate how each stanza expresses a different manifestation/behavior of love. Having read a lot of Poe, I wonder if the literal reading was intended (that the speaker is sitting with the long-dead remains of a lover) or whether the speaker is merely dwelling on the idea of the corpse (looking at a gravestone, perhaps). I'd like it a little clearer which was intended, or even more clear that you encourage both interpretations (!).

Booyahboy I hadnt intended the literal interpretation of the corpse, but looking back i can see how well that would work with a few changes, I had meant it to say how all of those expressions of love are tainted by death, and appresciate how obvious the last stanza is. I think if I altered the last stanza i could reinforce both messages and leave it to the audience to choose which interpretation they want to believe

khfan12 awesome. i could never write something like that.