Damon & Elena Article: The Best Damn Thing: Delena and 4x23

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posted by delenasalvatore

credit: damonlover3

"It's not that she makes him a better person, and she does, but he changes her too. Damon challenges her, surprises her. He makes her question her life, her beliefs...Damon is either the best thing for her, or the worst."
(Rose in 3x19)

"I'm not sorry that I met you. I'm not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything. That in death, you're the one that made me feel most alive. You've been a terrible person, you made all the wrong choices, and of all the choices I've made, this will prove to be the worst one, but I am not sorry that I'm in love with you! I love you Damon."
(Elena, 4x23)

Compare 4x23 to 3x19 and you get a sense of just how far Delena have come. "Stefan thinks I have feelings for you," Elena somewhat unwillingly admits. "Do you?" Damon asks her. "I don't...I don't know," she stumbles. In 3x19 Elena was too afraid to admit she had feelings for Damon, and she also uses how Damon reacts whenever there's a 'bump in the road' as an excuse for why she can't go there. "It's what you do Damon, you sabotage things...you lash out." "What if I didn't?" he challenges her. "What if there was no bump?" It's taken many episodes, but they got there in the end.
In 4x23 Elena and Damon can both be honest with each other about who they are and what they want. Damon's "This is who I am, I'm not gonna change" speech would probably have scared Elena away in the past, but now she's no longer afraid of loving him. I think she has always accepted him in a way that nobody else (apart from maybe Stefan), has been able to. She hasn't condoned everything he's done by a long shot, but she's understood that love is essentially what drives him. She's seen him at his best and at his worst and has been able to accept they're both sides of the same coin: ("I like you now, just the way you are"). In 3x19, it's not that she can't accept Damon as he is, it's just that she's afraid of loving him, so she runs away from it, and back to Stefan. In 4x23, all the fear and doubt that's been plaguing her has gone. The excuses for why they can't be together have gone. Actually, Elena acknowledges that Damon may be 'wrong' for her, but she doesn't let that stop her.

A few people have been confused about Elena's admission that although she's not sorry for being in love with Damon, choosing to be with him will be "the worst choice" she makes. "How can you make a choice that you know is wrong for you but not be sorry you're making it?" fans ask.
I wouldn't be too worried about this. After all, what does Damon say to her before? He admits that he's selfish: "I make bad choices that hurt you...And there's no apology in the world that encompasses all the reasons that I'm wrong for you." He's not saying "You should want to be with me because I always do the right thing." If anything, he's trying to put her off. Elena's not naive. She knows what Damon is like, and she's not going into this relationship with her eyes closed, thinking everything will be perfect and the odds won't be stacked against them, because they totally will be. I think she's sort of saying "I know who you are. I know what you're capable of. I know that I'm not making a popular choice, and loving you might be wrong, but I'm doing it anyway."
When Elena said that choosing Stefan was the best choice she ever made in 4x01, she was dying. "I was coming back for you," she croaks. "I had to choose and I picked you...No matter what happens, it's the best choice I ever made." I almost choked. "The best choice?!" I thought giddily. "Elena, when you chose Stefan, your car went off the bridge and you drowned. Now you're locked up and you're about to die. How does that translate into 'the best choice you ever made'?"
Compare that scene in 4x01 to the one in 4x23. In 4x01, Elena's close to death. She and Stefan are in tears. There's a wall between them and they can't even see each other. The whole thing is just very sad. In 4x23, Delena are standing in front of a blazing fireplace, and the "I love you" moment is one of pure joy and passion. Elena's speech is so very different from the one she makes to Matt in 3x22, when she attempts to rationalize her love for Stefan. Now, she realises love is something she cannot rationalize. Even when she's heard other people's reasons for why Stefan is better for her, even when admitting that Damon has been "a terrible person who made all the wrong choices" she can't hide from the truth and deny the way she feels anymore.

When Rose says that Damon is "either the best thing for her or the worst", she's talking about the fact that Damon doesn't do anything by halves. When he loves, he loves with every fibre of his being, and when he hates, when he's angry, then he often does things he regrets because his rage blinds him. But I do not believe that Damon could ever be the worst thing for Elena, just as I never believed that Stefan was the best decision she ever made. It's not an easy decision, and I fully expect that their future will be littered with problems and danger, but you could hardly expect DE to be without those things. I'll be honest - I am a little nervous about what the writers have in store for Delena next season, in case they plan to do something that will destroy them, but I'm hopeful too. Before trouble strikes again, I would at least expect the writers to give DE a few episodes where they are happy for once. I'll be very disappointed if they choose to skip over that part because we've never actually seen Delena enjoying just BEING a couple, and doing normal things. I mean, they haven't even been out on an official date or anything yet. I'm looking forward to seeing that. I really hope the writers know what they're doing and aren't planning on tearing Delena to shreds the minute S5 is off and running. Fans have waited such a long time for this. I don't think I could ever forgive the producers if they put DE together only so they can fall apart. But I think they've got to end up together because if they don't, then their journey and this whole story, will have been for nothing. Delena's romance isn't a fairytale, but it is real. Far from being her worst decision, I think Elena will find that choosing Damon is the best choice she ever made.

credit: escada

thetragichero, DelenasDiary and 15 others like this

DelenaLove201_ Thanks for writing this. Everything you said is so true and it's why we feel so much for them in the first place. Nothing is easy for them, we all know that, but there is that need for some happiness along with the pain.

jayteeniftb @delenasalvatore love all of your articles, and would like to share these two links(viewers) who portray and understand DE (might i say) even better. they have brought me around on season 4 and i have realized how good season 4 was for DE. http://findmysoulasigohome.tumblr.com/ http://ohmypreciousgirl.tumblr.com/ extremely good analysis.

darkwarrior647 You are 100% right delenasalvatore, DE has come a long way of finally being together and this is something DE fans have been waiting for a long time until now. I think DE fans are also worried that the writers might ruin delena in season 5 but we shouldn't be worried, the only time we should be worried is when season 6 begins,that is when EVERY EPISODES COUNTS trust me on this one. I'm not saying you are wrong, you are actually right but when season 6 starts that is when everything matters. Nice article by the way you are 100% about delena even when they are together it won't be all RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS with these two but we must have faith and stay positive about delena. I look forward on your next article delenasalvatore, I always enjoyed reading your articles and I believe sincerely that you will write even better articles than your previous ones and I wish all the best delenasalvatore.

Delenafan2 Your articles are always direct and to the point. You really analyze their relationship and get it written so perfectly. I couldn't have said it better :)

kmyla agreeee http://images.fanpop.com/images/emoticons/heart.jpg

DelenasDiary No truer words have been spoken. Your articles are always to the point and rational and well-thought out. I agree with everything you said! This best and worst choice thing should have never been mentioned in the show because all people want to do is say that Stelena is better because she said he was her best choice. Elena could have said it until she was blue in the face and it wouldn't change how I feel about Delena because as the show progresses, it's pretty obvious that her 'best choice' was not the 'right choice'. Her best choice stalked her for months because she looked like Katherine and had to know her because he was obsessed with and fascinated by their resemblance. Her best choice kept secrets from her about his past as a Ripper and lied to her on numerous occasions that he may have believed was for her own good, but in reality they were only gonna make things worse. If he thought the secrets he kept from her were too dangerous to know, why stay in Mystic Falls? Knowing his brother came back to give him his promised eternity of misery and the fact they were vampires, why didn't he just leave Elena alone? He's pretty stupid if he thought she would never find out/he'd never tell her he was a vampire. He has to eventually if they were going to become a couple. Her best choice decided it was the perfect time to commit suicide because he couldn't handle the pain and guilt of killing innocent people. By doing this, he was bringing Elena down with him and he never even thought about what she would think. Even though he had Elena's heart, it wasn't enough for him and he tried to kill himself anyway. The fact she ended up stopping him is irrelevant, he was still going to go through with it in the first place. Her best choice allowed her to make uncanny decisions because he had this philosophy that respecting people's choices means you respect them as an individual. For other circumstances, this is the case, but when it comes to letting the one you love die, that sure as hell isn't respecting them. Her best choice has emotionally manipulated and entered himself into her life when she supposedly 'has him', conveniently when she is currently handling yet another death that would have never happened if he didn't come into her life. Stefan may have came at the right time for Elena, but it was for the wrong reasons, and that is one of the very reasons I cannot bring myself to ship Stelena. Her best choice could not love her as a vampire and was hellbent on fixing her. In the beginning of Season 4 (Ep. 1-6) did he want the cure for Elena's sake? Yes, he did. He hated seeing her struggling with her vampirism and he acknowledged that she didn't want to be this person. When episode 7 rolled around, it was no longer about Elena. It wasn't about this 'She doesn't want to be this person', it was about 'She's NOT SUPPOSED to be this person, I DON'T WANT HER TO BE.' Episode 7 is also the episode where Stefan forced Jeremy to kill innocent vampires just to complete the Hunter's Mark so Elena can go back to him. He can be hurt that she left him for Damon, but does he have to be SELFISH in trying to get her back? Stefan is entitled to handle his pain however he wants to and when it comes to this situation, there is no right or wrong way to handle it, but that doesn't mean it's going to make things better for everyone and especially HIMSELF. He needed to take the time to be by himself and gain some better control on his bloodlust. Stefan cannot love anyone if he can't love himself. He will be too busy wallowing in self-loathing and brooding and it's only going to weigh Elena down. None of what he did is going to make Elena 'in love' with him again. He should have moved on because what was the point in pining over someone who doesn't want you? I want Stefan to be happy, but Elena is not it. Elena belongs to Damon, who is her REAL best choice. Despite the many things he's done to hurt her or her friends, some unjustifiable, he is the one that made her feel alive, respected her, was always there for her, loved her either way, always chose her, and apologized for his indiscretions whether they should be forgiven or not and worked for forgiveness, EARNED it, and in the end proved to be the one for Elena. His love for Elena conquered all and she made him a better man. Stefan tragically chose guilt and revenge. Though I can understand why and how, I of course don't agree. To conclude, even though the best and worst choice shouldn't matter because it's not about who is the better choice or which brother is better, if you're going to mention it, it should be mentioned in the right way if that's supposedly a reason for why Stelena should be endgame and not Delena. None of this matters anymore because we got our Delena endgame, but it just feels so good to vent and rant about it once in a blue moon even after it all ended.