I had only been in South Park Elementary school since second grade, but I couldn't recall things ever becoming quite this chaotic. Kids were destroying classrooms, desks were stacked in large heaps just to be burned into searing ash, and the whole nation was under siege by children... But, let's start at the beginning.
...
It was early in the morning and the bell had not rang for us to get to class just yet. I looked at the clock. Five minutes. I have five minutes to relax before entering that horrific classroom. Kids were walking in every direction and here I was, trying to gather my scattered thoughts and organize them accordingly. I closed my locker and then turned around to find my very best friend, Butters, standing there.
"Oh!" I said with a start, "It's you!"
"Hey, Dani! I just wanted to check up on you and see how you're doing!" He said with a cheerful smile.
I laughed to myself. Butters is so friendly. No wonder he's my best friend. "I'm doing great, Butters, thanks! Hey, is that history test today?"
He nodded, "Yup! Chapter 14! Did you study?"
I shook my head with a gulp, "I sure didn't! What the heck am I gonna do, Butters?!"
He gaped at me and then said, "Oh, no. Well, do you wanna look at my notes? Maybe refresh your memory or somethin'?"
I shook my head, "It's okay. I have my notes in my backpack. I'll just review them right now."
But before I could stoop to reach my backpack, the bell rang for us to get to class.
"I'm screwed," I said with a sigh.
"I wish you the best of luck!" He said, bumping his fists together nervously.
We walked together to the classroom and took our seats. All of my classmates were talking to one another, and normally, I would be, too. But I was too nervous about the history test. Mica was talking with her boyfriend, Craig. Emily was having a conversation with Emmy and Janay, and Gina was talking to Stan.
Just then, Cartman burst into the room, holding his phone up high, and bellowed, "Guys! Guys! Check this out! Check this shit out!"
We all turned our attention to him and the room immediately grew quiet.
Kyle rolled his eyes, "What is it now, Fatass? Another kid shitting his pants in class?"
Cartman shook his head, "You ignorant, ignorant son of a Jew. This is even better than a kid shitting his pants! Just look at my phone!"
Everyone grouped around his phone, but I just stayed in my seat - waiting to hear what all the fuss was about.
"Holy shit!"
"Oh my god, what is this?!"
"It's a fucking revolution, dude!"
"Six schools rioting against the teachers?! How did this start?!"
"Beats me! That's pretty damn cool though!"
"Those kids are gonna be put in their place! Just watch!"
My brows creased in concentration. I turned to Mica and asked, "What's going on?"
Mica doodled distractedly on her piece of paper and replied, "Well, apparently six schools in the United States have had an all-out revolution against the school system. These revolutions are all connected to a group who call themselves 'Kids Against School' or KAS for short. And they're gaining more and more supporters every day."
"What?!" I asked, "What do you mean 'revolution'?"
She shrugged, "It probably means they've refused to go to class, do their homework; probably attacked the teachers and locked them up."
"Wow," I said, extremely stunned beyond belief. This is unlike anything that's ever happened in the history of the United States. It's one thing when one school in the US revolts, but six? That's like hearing about Armageddon!
Kyle spoke up, "This isn't gonna last long. The only thing those kids accomplished was getting themselves into some deep shit."
Just then, Mr. Mackey walked into the room. "Mkay, hello, kids! Mr. Garrison is out today, so I'll be your sub, mkay? Now what was the lesson plan for today?"
Stan raised his hand. "Yes, Stanley?" Mr. Mackey said.
Stan put down his hand, "Mr. Garrison was gonna let us have a party today for doing so well on our history test."
"You've already taken the history test?" Mr. Mackey asked, suspicious.
Cartman nodded, "Would we lie to you, Mr. Mackey?"
Mr. Mackey blinked and then took a long pause before replying, "Mkay, I know YOU would, Eric, but I don't think Stanley would, m-mkay. Now what was gonna happen at this party? Did someone bring snacks or something?"
"I always have snacks, Mr. Mackey. As a matter of fact, I have two cases of Dr. Pepper in my locker. Can I go get it?" Cartman asked.
"Sure thing, Eric, mkay."
"This is gonna be so sweet," Kyle said to Stan gleefully. The party took off and it was a huge hit. The whole class was ecstatic, and I was so relieved because I didn't have to take that stupid history test.
Emily laughed and said to Cartman, "We're gonna get it from Mr. Garrison tomorrow when he hears that we didn't take the history test."
"Dude! Who cares?!" Cartman asked with exaggerated bravado.
The whole day went very well. Mr. Mackey didn't question the party at all, and it was just a fun day for everyone. After the final bell rang, and Mr. Mackey left the room, Cartman went to the front of the classroom and stopped us before we could leave.
"Hey, I need your guys's help."
Stan gave him a quizzical look, hefting a book under his right arm. "With what?"
"Could you guys visit every classroom and tell all the kids to meet me on the playground, RIGHT now?"
We all looked at each other and then back at him. Kyle asked, "What for, Fatass?"
Cartman glared angrily, "Just DO IT!" Then he ran outside without another word.
Nobody questioned Cartman's intentions and after several trips to each classroom, all the kids of South Park Elementary were outside on the playground.
Cartman was standing on top of the slide where everyone could see him, and after some shouting, he eventually got the kids to stop babbling like waterfalls and shut up.
"Okay," he began, "As you may know, the United States of America has SIX cases of revolting schools. The group behind this act is KAS or Kids Against School. I've already talked to some of the leaders of this group, and they told me that 12 other schools are about to join them in the revolution. It's a HUGE start. And so, I have come to this conclusion... South Park Elementary must join the revolution."
There were shouts of outrage and indignation inside the crowd, but others gasped in astonishment at such a thought. Revolting against the school is a behemoth task, and some were reluctant to even think about it. I stared up at Cartman as he continued trying to regain order.
Suddenly, I could hear Kyle's challenging voice ring out above the others. As Kyle started talking, the rest of the conversations died down.
"That's a stupid idea, Cartman, and you know it! We can't REVOLT against the school! Are you fucking crazy?!"
"I'm not fucking crazy, Kahl, I'm fucking smart! This is a big deal here, and we'd be dumbfucks NOT to get involved!"
Kyle rolled his eyes and pointed up at him in opposition, "What makes YOU think it's such a smart move?! Why are they even doing this revolution?! It's pointless!"
Cartman laughed, "Why are they DOING it? Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever fantasized about a world where you don't have to get up early for school? Where you don't have to worry about projects, and homework, and grades? Have you ever wished just for a SECOND that you didn't have to go to school five days a week? Have you EVER thought of that?"
Everyone stopped talking and their expressions faded into a complete look of euphoria as they visualized such a world - the world that Cartman described. I couldn't help but wish it was that way, too. Even Kyle looked a little thoughtful.
Craig Tucker was the next one to speak.
"Well... Let's say we do end up doing this revolution thing. What then? We're just a bunch of kids! How do you expect we go about this whole situation? Start bearing flags and screaming bloody murder in the classrooms?" There were shouts of agreement, and Cartman responded, "The leader of KAS has listed steps for us to follow if we want to join the revolution. All we need to do is follow them!"
"Who's the leader?" Someone in the crowd asked.
"His name is Dakota. Dakota Blake."
There was a moment of silence and then Cartman looked around him - at the crowd that stared up at him in awe.
"This is it, guys. South Park Elementary could be just another school on the map... or it can be one of the founding schools of the revolution. We could make a difference in the school system forever. Are you guys in? Or are you guys out?" He asked with a frown, but his eyebrows creased in concentration.
Everyone let the information seep in. A feeling of adrenaline filled my body and I felt extremely hyper with excitement. I spoke aloud, "I'm IN!" Everyone turned to me and I nodded with approval.
The next one to speak was Emily. She smiled, "I was in before you even GAVE your speech, Cartman." Cartman winked at her and then everyone else slowly started loosening up.
The electricity filled the air and everyone started getting rowdy.
"I'm in!" Shouted Token from afar.
"S-S-So am I!" Jimmy shouted as well.
Mica and Gina agreed to the revolution at the same time, and then everyone started shouting, "I'm in!"
"Let's do this thing!"
"When do we begin?"
"What's the first step?"
Cartman calmed everyone down once again and then spoke like the final knell of a bell at sunrise. "Revolting against the school takes some long steps of steady progression. As to the first step, we start tomorrow. Now go home... and be ready. Listen to music, watch movies - anything that gets you pumped. End of discussion." He slid down the slide and then started off in the direction of his home, holding Emily's hand as he went.
Mica looked at Craig with hopefulness, "Do you think this'll work, Craig?"
Craig looked down at the ground and then back at her, "I certianly hope so, Mica. If we fail... who knows what the consequences might be?"
Gina ran over to Stan and handed him a DP. "DP Buddy! Are you pumped for this?!"
He nodded and laughed, "Definitely!" He took a long draught of the sweet nectar of Dr. Pepper and then continued, "Let's give 'em hell, DP Buddy!"
"Wanna go to your house and play CoD?" Gina asked with excitement.
"Fuck yeah! Of course I do!" Stan said matter-of-factly.
I looked around at all the smiling friends and couples. This is gonna be a strenuous and arduous task. But I doubt we'll fail. Not as long as Cartman's our leader. Butters went over to me and I smiled at him, "Are you ready for this?"
He nodded and looked at me hesitantly, "I'm ready for anything as long as I'll be with you! I just hope I don't get grounded for this!"
I giggled, "You're a great friend... Professor Chaos."
Yes... this will certainly be hard. South Park Elementary School has joined the revolution.
LOOK FOR PART II COMING SOON...
...
It was early in the morning and the bell had not rang for us to get to class just yet. I looked at the clock. Five minutes. I have five minutes to relax before entering that horrific classroom. Kids were walking in every direction and here I was, trying to gather my scattered thoughts and organize them accordingly. I closed my locker and then turned around to find my very best friend, Butters, standing there.
"Oh!" I said with a start, "It's you!"
"Hey, Dani! I just wanted to check up on you and see how you're doing!" He said with a cheerful smile.
I laughed to myself. Butters is so friendly. No wonder he's my best friend. "I'm doing great, Butters, thanks! Hey, is that history test today?"
He nodded, "Yup! Chapter 14! Did you study?"
I shook my head with a gulp, "I sure didn't! What the heck am I gonna do, Butters?!"
He gaped at me and then said, "Oh, no. Well, do you wanna look at my notes? Maybe refresh your memory or somethin'?"
I shook my head, "It's okay. I have my notes in my backpack. I'll just review them right now."
But before I could stoop to reach my backpack, the bell rang for us to get to class.
"I'm screwed," I said with a sigh.
"I wish you the best of luck!" He said, bumping his fists together nervously.
We walked together to the classroom and took our seats. All of my classmates were talking to one another, and normally, I would be, too. But I was too nervous about the history test. Mica was talking with her boyfriend, Craig. Emily was having a conversation with Emmy and Janay, and Gina was talking to Stan.
Just then, Cartman burst into the room, holding his phone up high, and bellowed, "Guys! Guys! Check this out! Check this shit out!"
We all turned our attention to him and the room immediately grew quiet.
Kyle rolled his eyes, "What is it now, Fatass? Another kid shitting his pants in class?"
Cartman shook his head, "You ignorant, ignorant son of a Jew. This is even better than a kid shitting his pants! Just look at my phone!"
Everyone grouped around his phone, but I just stayed in my seat - waiting to hear what all the fuss was about.
"Holy shit!"
"Oh my god, what is this?!"
"It's a fucking revolution, dude!"
"Six schools rioting against the teachers?! How did this start?!"
"Beats me! That's pretty damn cool though!"
"Those kids are gonna be put in their place! Just watch!"
My brows creased in concentration. I turned to Mica and asked, "What's going on?"
Mica doodled distractedly on her piece of paper and replied, "Well, apparently six schools in the United States have had an all-out revolution against the school system. These revolutions are all connected to a group who call themselves 'Kids Against School' or KAS for short. And they're gaining more and more supporters every day."
"What?!" I asked, "What do you mean 'revolution'?"
She shrugged, "It probably means they've refused to go to class, do their homework; probably attacked the teachers and locked them up."
"Wow," I said, extremely stunned beyond belief. This is unlike anything that's ever happened in the history of the United States. It's one thing when one school in the US revolts, but six? That's like hearing about Armageddon!
Kyle spoke up, "This isn't gonna last long. The only thing those kids accomplished was getting themselves into some deep shit."
Just then, Mr. Mackey walked into the room. "Mkay, hello, kids! Mr. Garrison is out today, so I'll be your sub, mkay? Now what was the lesson plan for today?"
Stan raised his hand. "Yes, Stanley?" Mr. Mackey said.
Stan put down his hand, "Mr. Garrison was gonna let us have a party today for doing so well on our history test."
"You've already taken the history test?" Mr. Mackey asked, suspicious.
Cartman nodded, "Would we lie to you, Mr. Mackey?"
Mr. Mackey blinked and then took a long pause before replying, "Mkay, I know YOU would, Eric, but I don't think Stanley would, m-mkay. Now what was gonna happen at this party? Did someone bring snacks or something?"
"I always have snacks, Mr. Mackey. As a matter of fact, I have two cases of Dr. Pepper in my locker. Can I go get it?" Cartman asked.
"Sure thing, Eric, mkay."
"This is gonna be so sweet," Kyle said to Stan gleefully. The party took off and it was a huge hit. The whole class was ecstatic, and I was so relieved because I didn't have to take that stupid history test.
Emily laughed and said to Cartman, "We're gonna get it from Mr. Garrison tomorrow when he hears that we didn't take the history test."
"Dude! Who cares?!" Cartman asked with exaggerated bravado.
The whole day went very well. Mr. Mackey didn't question the party at all, and it was just a fun day for everyone. After the final bell rang, and Mr. Mackey left the room, Cartman went to the front of the classroom and stopped us before we could leave.
"Hey, I need your guys's help."
Stan gave him a quizzical look, hefting a book under his right arm. "With what?"
"Could you guys visit every classroom and tell all the kids to meet me on the playground, RIGHT now?"
We all looked at each other and then back at him. Kyle asked, "What for, Fatass?"
Cartman glared angrily, "Just DO IT!" Then he ran outside without another word.
Nobody questioned Cartman's intentions and after several trips to each classroom, all the kids of South Park Elementary were outside on the playground.
Cartman was standing on top of the slide where everyone could see him, and after some shouting, he eventually got the kids to stop babbling like waterfalls and shut up.
"Okay," he began, "As you may know, the United States of America has SIX cases of revolting schools. The group behind this act is KAS or Kids Against School. I've already talked to some of the leaders of this group, and they told me that 12 other schools are about to join them in the revolution. It's a HUGE start. And so, I have come to this conclusion... South Park Elementary must join the revolution."
There were shouts of outrage and indignation inside the crowd, but others gasped in astonishment at such a thought. Revolting against the school is a behemoth task, and some were reluctant to even think about it. I stared up at Cartman as he continued trying to regain order.
Suddenly, I could hear Kyle's challenging voice ring out above the others. As Kyle started talking, the rest of the conversations died down.
"That's a stupid idea, Cartman, and you know it! We can't REVOLT against the school! Are you fucking crazy?!"
"I'm not fucking crazy, Kahl, I'm fucking smart! This is a big deal here, and we'd be dumbfucks NOT to get involved!"
Kyle rolled his eyes and pointed up at him in opposition, "What makes YOU think it's such a smart move?! Why are they even doing this revolution?! It's pointless!"
Cartman laughed, "Why are they DOING it? Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever fantasized about a world where you don't have to get up early for school? Where you don't have to worry about projects, and homework, and grades? Have you ever wished just for a SECOND that you didn't have to go to school five days a week? Have you EVER thought of that?"
Everyone stopped talking and their expressions faded into a complete look of euphoria as they visualized such a world - the world that Cartman described. I couldn't help but wish it was that way, too. Even Kyle looked a little thoughtful.
Craig Tucker was the next one to speak.
"Well... Let's say we do end up doing this revolution thing. What then? We're just a bunch of kids! How do you expect we go about this whole situation? Start bearing flags and screaming bloody murder in the classrooms?" There were shouts of agreement, and Cartman responded, "The leader of KAS has listed steps for us to follow if we want to join the revolution. All we need to do is follow them!"
"Who's the leader?" Someone in the crowd asked.
"His name is Dakota. Dakota Blake."
There was a moment of silence and then Cartman looked around him - at the crowd that stared up at him in awe.
"This is it, guys. South Park Elementary could be just another school on the map... or it can be one of the founding schools of the revolution. We could make a difference in the school system forever. Are you guys in? Or are you guys out?" He asked with a frown, but his eyebrows creased in concentration.
Everyone let the information seep in. A feeling of adrenaline filled my body and I felt extremely hyper with excitement. I spoke aloud, "I'm IN!" Everyone turned to me and I nodded with approval.
The next one to speak was Emily. She smiled, "I was in before you even GAVE your speech, Cartman." Cartman winked at her and then everyone else slowly started loosening up.
The electricity filled the air and everyone started getting rowdy.
"I'm in!" Shouted Token from afar.
"S-S-So am I!" Jimmy shouted as well.
Mica and Gina agreed to the revolution at the same time, and then everyone started shouting, "I'm in!"
"Let's do this thing!"
"When do we begin?"
"What's the first step?"
Cartman calmed everyone down once again and then spoke like the final knell of a bell at sunrise. "Revolting against the school takes some long steps of steady progression. As to the first step, we start tomorrow. Now go home... and be ready. Listen to music, watch movies - anything that gets you pumped. End of discussion." He slid down the slide and then started off in the direction of his home, holding Emily's hand as he went.
Mica looked at Craig with hopefulness, "Do you think this'll work, Craig?"
Craig looked down at the ground and then back at her, "I certianly hope so, Mica. If we fail... who knows what the consequences might be?"
Gina ran over to Stan and handed him a DP. "DP Buddy! Are you pumped for this?!"
He nodded and laughed, "Definitely!" He took a long draught of the sweet nectar of Dr. Pepper and then continued, "Let's give 'em hell, DP Buddy!"
"Wanna go to your house and play CoD?" Gina asked with excitement.
"Fuck yeah! Of course I do!" Stan said matter-of-factly.
I looked around at all the smiling friends and couples. This is gonna be a strenuous and arduous task. But I doubt we'll fail. Not as long as Cartman's our leader. Butters went over to me and I smiled at him, "Are you ready for this?"
He nodded and looked at me hesitantly, "I'm ready for anything as long as I'll be with you! I just hope I don't get grounded for this!"
I giggled, "You're a great friend... Professor Chaos."
Yes... this will certainly be hard. South Park Elementary School has joined the revolution.
LOOK FOR PART II COMING SOON...